China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Agarn on May 23, 2009, 04:01:56 am
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Hi, just about to write to a lady at this agency when I read about problems with them, any tips on what to look out for with them? dont want to waste time, thanks.
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I would suggest you read, read and read everything here. After a bit you will see the pattern emerge, some obvious, some not so. Every agency's job is to translate exactly but, they also "help things along" by adding anything from a cute little term to full out and out lying. That is what happened to me. My thing is well documented here so I will not go into it. A lot of our thing is a leap of faith. You cant go into every letter or every cupid note with the attitude that they are scamming you. But you keep your eyes and mind open. Like I said read everything here and then if you have a particular question ask and you shall receive.
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ask and you shall receive.
Can I have $10 000
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me too please..........lol
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Martin , Rob ... send me your bank account number and a check for $350 dollar's to my PO Box and I will send you the $10,000 right away .
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I liv in the america but was robed in Nigeria while bisiting. Plese sent me 10,000.00 USD western union so I comb bac hom.
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pmsl vince ;)
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Send me a blank check signed please and I will make all of your wishes come true, or if you are feeling really generous, your platium credit card numbers along with personal pin numbers address and information. I can guarentee all of your dreams come true.
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Bunch of freeloaders. I am the only known relative of the Prince of Nigeria. All I need to do is send in $250.00 and I will receive a check via UPS for $250,000.00. When I get it I can keep 20% just for my troubles. isnt that great? Wow I am so lucky.
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Jim you have no idea how sometimes I play them. I just come up with these things and they think I'm hooked. In the end I give them some choice words friends from South Africa thought me. :D
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I do too, I have fun with them. I write back that I have this scheme where we can turn this 250k into a million. all they have to do is send me $500 and we can get it going. I really had one guy going. He said he saw the logic in it. But in the end he would not send the money. Too bad.
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Hi, just about to write to a lady at this agency when I read about problems with them, any tips on what to look out for with them? dont want to waste time, thanks.
I've been using this agency for nearly nine months and I couldn't be more impressed by them. I'm not sure what the problem other people are having. I am very grateful towards the agency.
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Thank you Danny, this thread seemed to off on a tangent.
As it happens I noticed this lady has a vidio as well as pics, looks a little different but I think real so I have written this morning
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I'm making this list and will re-post it whenever this same question is asked.
Writing through a new agency/What to look out for?
1. First EMF will most likely NOT be from the woman or will be a prewritten letter by her.
2. Saying she LOVES you and or can't live without you in first or second EMF letter.
3. A general form like continuing letter. Not saying anything more then what is in the profile.
4. An EMF NOT addressing anything asked or confirming the last letter sent.
5. Stating there is an emergency and send a certain amount.
6. A repeated sentence or paragraph from other letters.
98% of the time she will not or you will not receive any other contact information within the first few letters.
80% of the time you will not get any other photos requested until a relationship is steadied. (she knows you better)
60% chance if the agency has a bad reputation will attempt to deceive again.
90% chance the lady is real.
Don't ASSUME! You don't know until you start.
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So you guys think it is only Nigaria, if it wasn't for my personal control firewall on my computer I wouldn't have time to write this being too bussy handling all the requests from LEGIT American finance ripoffs, yes, LEGIT, the big (now bankrupt) banks wanting to loan me (not even an American and living halfway around the world from them) money at 3%. Of course they don't have the money it is just an accounting gimmick called cyber numbers generating customers on their accounting ledgers. Marvelous this fascist capitalism.
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Back to the matter in hand
The lady has replied with questions about things I wrote in my profile and sent a picture of her with her mother and has not mentioned that she loves me,[ although I did ask the interprtor not to flower the letters] so she may be real
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I got ripped off in UK by an Englishman when I was in Nigeria for two months. Why can't I do anything right.
Still back to Agarn
I expect that you will get a standard outdated message back from the agency and it will not be from the lady you are speaking to. But add questions that you want answers to. They will have to put you in contact them. I have had a problem with P368 Hand in Hand in so much they are sending messages and replying to messages from my lady. To see just what the response is from this agency I have sent her an EMF, with her knowledge, bearing copies of emails and messages that have been sent in her name. I also suggested to her in the EMF that she should not pay anymore more to this agency and she should demand a refund of what she had paid so far. This was last night and when I just finished talking to her 3 hours ago she had not been told by the agency that there was an EMFfor her.
If you get a telephone number I can get my lady to call to check your lady out when I am in Zhuhai June, July and August.
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Thanks Willy
thats a good idea about phoning her, ill se how it goes over the next week or so.
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Thank you Danny, this thread seemed to off on a tangent.
As it happens I noticed this lady has a vidio as well as pics, looks a little different but I think real so I have written this morning
Um...get used to it. Even the most serious of posts get taken in a different direction with this crowd.
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I also suggested to her in the EMF that she should not pay anymore more to this agency and she should demand a refund of what she had paid so far.
WHY? Did they do something wrong between you and your girl? Besides the first couple of EMF's to you? In their eyes "Why would they give a refund for ALL the money?"
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I also suggested to her in the EMF that she should not pay anymore more to this agency and she should demand a refund of what she had paid so far.
WHY? Did they do something wrong between you and your girl? Besides the first couple of EMF's to you? In their eyes "Why would they give a refund for ALL the money?"
Still dealing with that one and will let you all know in due course of the result. Just be wary of first contacts from ladies on this agencies address books.
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I got ripped off in UK by an Englishman when I was in Nigeria for two months. Why can't I do anything right.
Still back to Agarn
I expect that you will get a standard outdated message back from the agency and it will not be from the lady you are speaking to. But add questions that you want answers to. They will have to put you in contact them. I have had a problem with P368 Hand in Hand in so much they are sending messages and replying to messages from my lady. To see just what the response is from this agency I have sent her an EMF, with her knowledge, bearing copies of emails and messages that have been sent in her name. I also suggested to her in the EMF that she should not pay anymore more to this agency and she should demand a refund of what she had paid so far. This was last night and when I just finished talking to her 3 hours ago she had not been told by the agency that there was an EMFfor her.
If you get a telephone number I can get my lady to call to check your lady out when I am in Zhuhai June, July and August.
This could get a little akward...
I am the third party. I received an initial admirer letter from this lady, and realised that she was also writing to Willy, based on two words he mentioned in his posts on chnlove.com.
I was under the impression that Willy had been writing to her for quite some time and was committed to her. So I thought the right thing to do is to notify him.
I cannot be certain but one of two possibilities exist:
1. The agency initiated the admirer letter, as well as follow-up letters (plural) and using her email box;
2. The lady initiated the admirer letter herself, but does not want to admit to Willy, who has been asking her about this.
I am emailing this post to Willy directly. Hope we are not going to have a sh!tfight over a woman... :(
Toon
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No problem Tony – You know we are cool over this.
As far as I am concerned the initial admirer note and the follow up reply was solely down to the agency. Probably because myself and my lady had stopped using EMF and do not use the agency they may have mistakenly thought that they could drum up some more business using someone who they thought may have been recently dropped!
She has told me she did not send the admirer note nor the reply and with the amount of contact we have every day I believe her. I have no reason to doubt her and until I have a strong reason to change this opinion, then she will retain my loyalty and support.
I will be paying a call at this agency when I go over and I will report back to the forum what I find.
I will be there in a few weeks and will be staying for 6 more weeks and in that time I will be able to work out if we are a good or not. I plan three more trips to and from China in the next 6 months only spending a total of 4 weeks in the UK to sort out my business and in that time we will know if the relationship is to be one that involves US or not. I have spoken to her Mother on the phone - just a few words in Mandarin so have already broken the ice with her!
So I am happy and we I have no problem with you Tony but I won’t give you the dates that I will be back in the UK just in case you sneak round whilst I am away. LOL
Willy the Londoner
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Guys...as far as I know, all the agencies provide this service...they send out admirer letters to the different men. And obviously it works, as men write back.
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Guys...as far as I know, all the agencies provide this service...they send out admirer letters to the different men. And obviously it works, as men write back.
Do they all do the reply to the men's letters as well? If my lady and I was not so strong this may have caused problems.
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Here's a chance to see if they contact your lady about it. And how long it takes them to. They don't see any relationship going on between you and her. Your not writing in EMF's.
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Guys...as far as I know, all the agencies provide this service...they send out admirer letters to the different men. And obviously it works, as men write back.
Yep, Ling told me she never sent any admiration emails - her agency did that and sent her the mens replies .
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They have told my lady that there is an EMF for her but as it is a holiday she will not be able to collect it until Monday!!!
As an i have spoken on the phone to my ladys Mom, sister, brother in law a cousin and now her 12 year old niece and the last has the best English of them all - But was quite upset that I did not know David Beckham - anyone got his address handy?
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Guys...as far as I know, all the agencies provide this service...they send out admirer letters to the different men. And obviously it works, as men write back.
Do they all do the reply to the men's letters as well? If my lady and I was not so strong this may have caused problems.
Here's a chance to see if they contact your lady about it. And how long it takes them to. They don't see any relationship going on between you and her. Your not writing in EMF's.
Since it is not exactly Asian/Chinese style for girls to approach guys initially (generally), should we discount the possibility that a lady simply prefers not to admit she initiated the first contact?
Especially if she is already communicating to someone. She is not bound to just one guy in the early stages. She may also consider the possibility of being disappointed on meeting and doesn't want to waste her time.
Even if admirer letters look similar (as they are composed by the translator and a standard format is used), does not necessarily mean the lady did not request it.
Toon
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Guys...as far as I know, all the agencies provide this service...they send out admirer letters to the different men. And obviously it works, as men write back.
Do they all do the reply to the men's letters as well? If my lady and I was not so strong this may have caused problems.
Here's a chance to see if they contact your lady about it. And how long it takes them to. They don't see any relationship going on between you and her. Your not writing in EMF's.
Since it is not exactly Asian/Chinese style for girls to approach guys initially (generally), should we discount the possibility that a lady simply prefers not to admit she initiated the first contact?
Especially if she is already communicating to someone. She is not bound to just one guy in the early stages. She may also consider the possibility of being disappointed on meeting and doesn't want to waste her time.
Even if admirer letters look similar (as they are composed by the translator and a standard format is used), does not necessarily mean the lady did not request it.
Toon
Your right there - the old saying comes to mind - 'What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander' I expect many of us started by writing to several ladies at the same time before cutting down to one.
Willy
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I think another proof that Hand in Hand is a reliable agency is that I am almost always dissatisfied about the number of letters I receive from my woman. I often have to wait a week for a reply to my letters to my woman. This makes me incredibly grumpy and I would actually prefer that the agency just made one up for me. But instead I only get them when my woman has the time to spare. It reflects poorly on me, but well on the agency I think.
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I complained of getting too many... not waiting for my next letter... same day responses... follow ups the next day...
But one was all about darling this and darling that... got sick of it... now everyone is on the block list.
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I am wondering at the moment whether this is an unreliable agency after all. The woman I thought was someone near and dear to me has sent an "admirer mail" to another member of our brotherhood here (James). I am not sure whether the agency has done this on purpose, or whether it was only a mistake, or whether my woman had asked for the admirer mails to be sent out. Stay tuned. All I can say at this point in time, is be very cautious about using this agency.
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Danny depending on the contract , admirers and cupid answers are nearly always sent out by the agencies with no knowledge of the women , how else can they generate income .
Also depending on the contract the agencies may have the power to update / refresh profiles and use for up to 2 years .
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That must be why my Keren has told me about her not refreshing her profile, that it is the agency that does it, she does not reply to any cupid's etc..She has told me that it would go against her agency contract, so she has to let them refresh it:huh::huh:
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Once you are outside the agency in communication they have no idea what's going on so they will refresh and send Admire letters to get something going. They see a dormant profile. Whether the woman knows of this? Is anybodies guess.
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Interesting reading this about all you guys being up in arms about the ladies writing with more than you alone.
I know a lady through doing internet dating research, at the time I came in contact with her a year and half ago she was already serious with a guy in the UK with wedding end 2009; she will retire after wedding and move to UK. Now don’t fall off your chairs. Presently she is still holding eight (8) guys on the line. Furthermore if you care to delve into what the agencies advice you will learn their advice is to write with a minimum of five (5).
The attitude of most ladies is: until married to a guy I’m still my own boss, the guy is not putting the rice in my bowl - or as the saying in the west goes, “bread on the plank”.
Yes, capitalist colonialism enslaving the people is making its comeback, but the ladies are not going along with it when it comes to their own personal body, even there they work for slave labor wages.
In my research about this internet dating and having anthropologist acquaintances who speak the ladies’ mother tongue the ladies talk more easily because they know there is no marriage involved.
I have not come across one guy who mentions that he went through the engagement rig moral (party) - Asians are great for parties – to commit themselves to marriage by presenting the diamond engagement ring and slip it on the lady of their choice’s finger. The Asian female may not be as compliant as most western males’ unprepared for Asia minds think they are.
Looking forward to see the first one announcing his engagement.
Even the lady mentioned above after a year-and-half has not been presented with an engagement ring, that is she says she feels her mind is at ease with keeping the 8-guys on the line.
Asia old-timer.
DrFransBRoosPHD
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In your case it's a little different. What I stated was a generalization. There are some exceptions like yours. The only thing I can think of for why? Is there might be some men putting her in their favorites and the agency sends the admire without care of if there is a relationship already?
Come to think of it they should have a currently unavailable/taken, something so guys know not to waste their time and money. Even though this is the way they do things on the sly.
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Dr Roos, thank you for your always fascinating comments and anecdotes.
I am not up in arms at all.
There is a time when there is nothing wrong with writing to more than one woman/man, and there is another time in which it is wrong to be writing to more than one woman/man. There are grey areas, when it's not easy to tell what is the right thing. But it is possible to define such situations in which most people, Asian and Western, would agree that it's not right to be writing to more than one woman/man.
I have nothing but best wishes for my dear woman. If she wishes to write to eight men, that's fine with me. I hope for her happiness. I think the world of her, and if I really thought she would be happier with someone else than me, then I would understand.
However if she was inviting new people to write to her, at the same time as she is telling me that she loves and cares about me, when we are planning our future together, then that changes things for me. It might be a clever thing for her to do, but it would certainly change my opinion of her.
I don't think that the attitudes you suggest are held by "the Asian female" are typical of the kind of women I have met through chnlove. Nor are the attitudes you suggest, held by the Western men here, for example, the hope for a compliant woman.
All in all I have been impressed by the high ethical standards of the women I have written to.
I would be disappointed if the women and men here played the game in the way you suggest. I may be wrong, but I doubt it *smiles*
Danny
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Furthermore if you care to delve into what the agencies advice you will learn their advice is to write with a minimum of five (5).
I have seen no evidence of this in any way, in written (as in the contract) or have read anywhere in any forum or by the women themselves. If this is your delve opinion it should have been stated more appropriate.
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I am currently communicating with a lady from this agency. So far her return letters have answered any questions I have asked her. I have not found any suspicion with this agency YET! I will let you know if I find anything.
Cheers!
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I dont know how many agencies are conected with chnlove, but 25% of my admirer mails come from this one agency 368, an unusuly high % dont you think, they certainly like to try and generate the cash
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I am currently communicating with a lady from this agency. So far her return letters have answered any questions I have asked her. I have not found any suspicion with this agency YET! I will let you know if I find anything.
Cheers!
There is no reason to think your relationship won't work out just fine, even if every allegation made about this agency is proven true. I imagine that there are just a lot of unpleasant business practices, but I don't think that it is entirely corrupt. The fact of that matter is that my relationship with my woman might have worked out and the fact that it didn't, didn't have anything to do with the agency.
In my case I am unhappy that they are using her as bait, sending out admirer mails on her behalf, when at the same time they are assuring me that they are hoping that our relationship works out.
Of course my good woman might have requested that the admirer mails be sent out on her behalf, but I doubt it. She seemed like a pretty honest and ethical person to me when I visited her in January 2009. I doubt she's changed so much in the intervening months. .
I've made a complaint to chnlove customer service, and who is to know how this will turn out. I know some brothers have a very low opinion of chnlove customer service, but in my experience take these matters pretty seriously.
I've already had chnlove catch out one agency (Aristocrat Garden Matchmaking in Bejing, Agency ID: P566) that had been writing to me on behalf of another woman (ie writing all of her replies), so I'm pretty confident about the way they investigate these things.
I'll report back here when I receive a reply.
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I rang up and spoke to my woman on the telephone. She told me that the agency just sent it out without her knowledge and I believe her.
We had a good conversation and I am going to start ringing her on the telephone every day. It's so lovely hearing her voice. I had avoided ringing her because I am so ashamed of my poor Chinese. In future, I am going to persist with the phone calls. There's a saying that a brave man dies but once, a coward many times. If she dumps me because of my poor Chinese, then that's how it's going to happen and I'll deal with it when it happens. If I don't stay in touch regularly, the relationship is going to die anyway.
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Danny seems like the shoe is on the other foot? Your afraid to call because of your poor chinese. We hear this allot from the woman not wanting to talk on the phone for fear of her bad english? Just wanted to point this out for the others that take this as a bad sign? when you look at it from the other side? it makes sense doesn't it?
But go for it? You don't know how good or bad it will be until you do it.
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Danny , are you using a phone card , I am using one from HELLO and it is magic I use it for both mobile and home phone in China from my home phone and 20 dollars goes a long , long way .
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Danny , are you using a phone card , I am using one from HELLO and it is magic I use it for both mobile and home phone in China from my home phone and 20 dollars goes a long , long way .
You have used this card in China....or to China? I am looking for a card that works over there, to make calls to home.
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No Martin from Australia into China cost is about 1 dollar an hour or 4.5 yuan
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I rang up and spoke to my woman on the telephone. She told me that the agency just sent it out without her knowledge and I believe her.
We had a good conversation and I am going to start ringing her on the telephone every day. It's so lovely hearing her voice. I had avoided ringing her because I am so ashamed of my poor Chinese. In future, I am going to persist with the phone calls. There's a saying that a brave man dies but once, a coward many times. If she dumps me because of my poor Chinese, then that's how it's going to happen and I'll deal with it when it happens. If I don't stay in touch regularly, the relationship is going to die anyway.
Well, Danny, I guess when I passed on the message sent by HH Agency on behalf of your lady, that spelled the end for me. Now it seems, like China Shark Mike, I appear to be 'black listed' by Chnlove and by HH Agency. Until I replied to your post, I was receiving at least one Admirer Mail from a new lady at HH Agency daily and sometimes two. I was receiving Mails from girls from age 24 and up, all stunners. Most were around 35. I was writing to a lady who was 45. I'm 61.
Now... Nothing! The lady stopped writing to me, as well. That kinda makes me wonder if I was still talking to a translator and they saw I'm aware of scams and am part of the Brotherhood. Thus,then the translator stopped for fear of exposure.
I, too, have communicated directly with one of the translators at HH Agency. Of the ones who have performed translation services between ladies and me, Amy was the best and her English was outstanding. She helped me with a lady I'm certain was real and who was talking directly to me. But that one didn't work out. After that lady, I tried two more. The second seemed to not really care about communicating. However, she declared she was very interested. But she failed to keep her word about what she was going to do. The translator, YoYo, was helping with her. The third is the lady listed on the Brotherhood 'Lady Listing'. I don't know who the translator was for her.
Opps! Sorry! Another reading of your post tells me you called your lady, and not that you called the Agency.
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I looked into just about everything for the lowest cost. My last phone service was even lower (Earthlink) but having ATT now and I don't even care for them but I pay $10.00 a month for long distance and .11 cents a min when I do call anywhere including China. We're on the phone? sometimes I say to myself OK a half hour? and it goes for 2 1/2 hrs. So a limited phone card might not work for me?
It's best to check all your options and make a choice.
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Danny , are you using a phone card , I am using one from HELLO and it is magic I use it for both mobile and home phone in China from my home phone and 20 dollars goes a long , long way .
Yes I have used that before, and it is one of the best, I agree. I haven't worried about the cost before because my calls are so short *laughs*
It's just like magic hearing her voice. Especially after you have only written letters for an extended period of time.
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I just got an admirer mail from this agency, the profile was posted in August 2007, she is really cute as well ...
Hmmm, what's the probability she's still single? She's 27 years old.
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I just got an admirer mail from this agency, the profile was posted in August 2007, she is really cute as well ...
Hmmm, what's the probability she's still single? She's 27 years old.
My wife had been listed on chnlove for 4 years before I met her. There is always a chance she is single. And when I married her, she was only 30.
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I'm sort of half blind right now (damn PRK), but I will mention this. Skype offers a package with unlimited (defined as 10,000 minutes per month) for $12.95USD/month that includes China mobile and land lines. That is a pretty good deal.
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I just got an admirer mail from this agency, the profile was posted in August 2007, she is really cute as well ...
Hmmm, what's the probability she's still single? She's 27 years old.
I met quite a few ladies from this agency - they were lining them up one stage!!!!
Willy
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After that lady, I tried two more. The second seemed to not really care about communicating. However, she declared she was very interested. But she failed to keep her word about what she was going to do. The translator, YoYo, was helping with her.
I have actually had dinner with YoYo the translator from Hand in Hand. It was on the occasion of my last meeting with my woman from Zhuhai. Her English was not very good in my opinion. I think she took her job seriously and that she did her best. As far as I can tell, she acted in good faith, which I suppose all you can ask for.
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good faith is good:icon_cheesygrin:
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But then as well as Yo Yo I had dealings with two other translators from P368 - Viviene and Magi. They were the ones that kept pushing ladies to me.
Willy