China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Jimmy on October 03, 2010, 09:51:34 pm
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You guys know the rules we have are pretty good and all for very good reasons. I do agree with them totally.
Has it ever been considered to make a category especially for some of these things, like for instance US bashing. Put warning on it don't go there if you can't handle different kinds of talk and such things.
The only reason I even ask is it would be nice to have a section we can blow off a little steam no hold barred sorta stuff.
A few rules like no personal attacks we don't want fights and stuff. and if the category insults you then do yourself a favor and don't read it anymore.
But if a guy can air his anger with say no language limit. That might be a good stress reliever. I am not the only guy going crazy playing this waiting game the government insist we play. And when it is finished there will still be plenty more that must also do it.
Having built several forums and know people the way I do, I can see it would be very difficult to do, But it is just an Idea.
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I think that's the purpose of "The Campfire". Just start a new thread entitled ... for example ... Uncensored Blow Off Steam
It would be no different than "Just For Laughs" where there's uncensored language. As you said, as long as there's no personal attacks.
This is my take, the other MODs may have a different viewpoint.
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It's fine with me.I have seen it on other forums.And it seems to work.As long as thiere is no personell attacks
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On my old forum we had a spot that was request only that was the X rated. We had many women members and if they wanted to go there they had to ask a mod. This kept others from being offended. I'm not saying to do it this way just saying how we did it. It was the place where the gloves were off speech wise. The rule that stayed even there, was the no personal attacks.
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I think its a good idea also to be able to do this here
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For what it's worth, I don't see the need or benefit of posting bad language here. There are plenty more sites out there where you can do that and yes I know I would not have to read it if I didn't want too . Just my thoughts :)
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Well venting can be made without all the bad language and it would be a
good thing for members to be able to vent the frustrations with their cases
and the time spent waiting and everything
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I'd say , let's have a Place where all can let loose ( to vent or somethings that annoys someone about another Member or whatever ) .
BUT ... this Thread will have Post's cleared/deleted once a week of all them , once someone got rid of some steam and he's been reply'd to .. then there is no more need for it . Out it goes and make room for the next and so on and on .
Let me know how this sounds and if it is a good idea ?
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sounds like a good idea.
The only reservation I have is, if people take it too heart and any argument carries on through PM.
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Nah , we have been doing fine for the last 18 months plus , why be like some of the other forums , you wouldn't let your better half , sister or brother go there , but here is like Australia almost perfect in every way , with Canada and China as equal seconds , regards A non a mouse Robert .
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sounds like a good idea.
The only reservation I have is, if people take it too heart and any argument carries on through PM.
You known Rob that was one of my main concerns when I ask the question. Some guys do have pretty hot tempers, short fuses all that stuff. And can't handle it when a guy is just blowing off a little steam. And I have seen a few that could not recognize they were not being attacked the brother was actually trying to help them.
Myself included. And one of the things We are all different we have guys here from 20 all the way up to Willie. Some can't take the ribbing and others love it.
Thats why no matter what you say it can not be directed to one particular person.
Unless he is not a member of this forum.
Maybe it's not such a good I idea, Everyone here has a ton of stress already.
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sounds like a good idea.
The only reservation I have is, if people take it too heart and any argument carries on through PM.
You known Rob that was one of my main concerns when I ask the question. Some guys do have pretty hot tempers, short fuses all that stuff. And can't handle it when a guy is just blowing off a little steam. And I have seen a few that could not recognize they were not being attacked the brother was actually trying to help them.
Myself included. And one of the things We are all different we have guys here from 20 all the way up to Willie. Some can't take the ribbing and others love it.
Thats why no matter what you say it can not be directed to one particular person.
Unless he is not a member of this forum.
Maybe it's not such a good I idea, Everyone here has a ton of stress already.
My 2 cents worth........
Good idea to have a place that is here for sounding off about Government, immigration and all the bastadry we go through when we decide to marry a foreign woman
Bad idea that this place becomes a public forum for sounding off about individuals.
If we want to have a go at any individual, we can always go the PM route and keep bitterness out of the public view..it serves no purpose because there are often complex "goings-on" that can be misinterpreted and misconstrued.
If we wish to be critical then lets stay with ISSUES not PERSONALITIES. If we have an opinion that a Bro is out of line, then many times in the past some appropriate comments have come through. And it is usually about some aspect of Western/Chinese relationships that trigger it off. That is the purpose and benefit of the public forum here....not to attack people as individuals.
David E
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I could go with the idea of "ISSUES not PERSONALITIES" as David said. I agree that to start talking badly about fellow members will only end in tears and hard feelings all round >:(= :'(
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I know I'm new and maybe should just be still, but here goes, I have to agree with Mr. DavidE, and Mr. Paul Todd, Issues not Personalities would be good I think, I have been reading for a few days and every misunderstanding on these boards have come from someone saying something dumb about someone else, so yes to Issues and no to personalities
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I think it should be about issues and not about individuals. That would be ok to vent about
some of the issues encountered by the govt's.
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I feel a bit compelled to add a bit more to this current topic, and this is my opinion only, and it is open to challenge.........like it should be in any frank and open exchange of views here . :-\ :-\
When we are debating what should be the content of any thread that seeks to be a "vent pipe" for various stresses and strains we feel, perhaps we should take a little pause and think carefully about what this whole Forum is all about.
Why are we here, what purpose does it all serve ???
I believe there are 3 fundamental drivers for this Forum...Number 1 is the collective knowlege from many, many Bros who have already, or are in the process of finalising their engagement/marriage/relationship with a Chinese Woman. What they have learned along the way...by REAL experience, not theory, should be worth gold for any others contemplating doing the same.
Driver number 2 is our ability to be of some rational service for those who seek information about the whole process and wonder what is involved in the "journey" to find a Chinese wife....I refer to the newbies who are looking for good, interesting and relevant information as a guide to where to begin and what are the traps and tricks.
Driver number 3 is the pure fellowship of being in touch with a bunch of guys who are doing something difficult, exciting and life changing and the knowlege that you are not alone in this some times horrendous process.
The face we present as a credible information source is important......for somebody coming here, it should be a pleasant and rewarding experience....give them some confidence that we do know what we are doing !!!!
To see any part of the Forum descend to people bashing, or personality assassination gives a seriouly flawed picture to any body visiting, and we may not be seen as rational !!!
Like most people here, I have visited many such sites in the past...where it is a long procession of profanities and mud slinging about personalities.......and it aint pretty or informative.
I dont want to be a part of something like that, and I am sure that most of you would agree with me ???
If we have the confidence to know that we can openly challenge any ISSUES posed here that are incorrect/dangerous or misleading, then we should have the right to do so. If we believe, based on our own experience , that someone is on the wrong track, is giving misleading advice, then again we must be free to challenge. This way, the right knowlege gets out there and no feathers get ruffled because it is NOT personal.
If we set ourselves the objective of being the best provider of accurate help, information and guidance...we cant go far wrong !!!!....not necessary to descend to mediocrity.
David
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In reply to DavidE, I agree with your three drivers of this site and feel that it always needs to be supportive of guys like myself who are first timers and need the support of you guys. I have found it a tad more challenging than I would have liked it to be. But so long as is doesn't get personal, as that is so boring, I think guys should be able to have a whinge about how they feel they are being treated by bureaucracy, but we also need to look at what we are attracting into our life as maybe it is reflecting something about ourselves. Sorry to get a bit philosophical, but it might be worth a look. I have no idea what I will be up against if I attempt to bring a lady back to Australia, so please look past my naivety. I appreciate this site and the effort you guys put in to set it up.
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Peter
When the time arrives that you have met your dream Lady ;D ;D and you decide to bring her to Aus, I and a number of Aussies here can give you mountains of information about the process you will have to follow to get her a fiance or spouse visa.
It is a long winded, complex and paper driven process that will drive you bats....but you gotta do it, and do it right. If you exactly follow the due process, it will happen.
The process is centred around proving that your relationship is genuine....So early in the piece, make sure you have many photos, receipts and general supporting stuff to prove this.....make sure her friends and family figure in your official record of the relationship.
Aus Immigration like to see that you have made at least 2 trips to see her...and in fact, you cannot put in any application unless you have visited her personally (you would be amazed at how many guys try to apply for fiance visa after a few emails etc....very dangerous !!!!
At the time of application, they get a bit more human about relaxing the rules for a Tourist Visa for a single woman...normally she would have no chance, but after the application goes in, she can come here as a Tourist for a look-see. But she cannot receive her visa whilst in Aus as a Tourist...she must go home to China to get it.
All applications for fiance/wife visa are made through the Shanghai Embassy.
That should be enough to give you the general idea of things.....now go and find your Princess ;D ;D ;D
DavidE
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Ok guys.There seems to be a little interest in this.So what we will do for know.Is open up the voting poll.If it passes I will submit the information to the administrator.he has the finale say.
In my own personell opinion.I think it would be ok.As long as it is locked.(That means only registered users could see it.And post on it)Second no personell attackers on another member.No attacks on any contries what so ever.If you want to whine about about your country's immigration process.You are more then welcome to.
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I am still waiting for the polls to close. It is close right now, so I think we should leave it for another day or two.
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I'd say , let's have a Place where all can let loose ( to vent or somethings that annoys someone about another Member or whatever ) .
BUT ... this Thread will have Post's cleared/deleted once a week of all them , once someone got rid of some steam and he's been reply'd to .. then there is no more need for it . Out it goes and make room for the next and so on and on .
Let me know how this sounds and if it is a good idea ?
It would defiantly need regular pruning.
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Keep the thread to members only, no viewing for guests.
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What is the difference between No and it does not belong here on the poll? Isn't it essentially the same thing?
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Yes Shaun it means the same thing. good observation.If you vote no.We still count it as it doesn't belong here
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Martin
I guess I say give it a go...but I am not really committed to it...but I think you should not hesitate to pull the plug on it if and when it gets "iffy"
Cheers
David
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:o Gee now everyone know who the one person is that voted no. :P