China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: Martin on May 27, 2009, 12:07:33 pm
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This was taken from a different thread. Paul Todd had written this piece, and Maxx had added to it. I think that others that have been should add to the list. It is fun, and the guys who have never been might get some more insight into their future trip...what to expect!
Married Life? Huh
You understand that silence in response to a question means "almost certainly no"
"Maybe" means "probably no" and "Yeah..." means, "maybe."
As far as I am aware, there is no way for a Chinese women to say "yes for sure" If she
does say yes, it may simply mean that she doesn't want to argue with you, but don't be fooled because she is going to go ahead and do it the way she wanted anyway.
You're in-laws walking into your bedroom doesn't bother you (quite as much as it used to)
You check the bill carefully before you pay and challenge at least one item.
You aren't surprised when you arrive home from work to find your mother-in-law in the kitchen.
You recognize the hosts of the CCTV CNY gala show.
You take Jing Shun Lu to save 5RMB on the airport expressway.
You no longer challenge her beliefs about medicine and health..
You've stopped trying to identify the food she eats.
You don't notice people staring.
You walk out on the back porch of your motherinlaws house and see the sack of fish heads
you take your motherinlaws rice baskets and throw them at the guy across the alley taking a piss on the side of the building.
your motherinlaw slaps you for throwing her rice baskets.At the neighbors.
your neighbors pit bull is scared of your wife.
You rent a hotel room and the whole family comes over to take a shower.
you watch cctv channel 9 just to laugh at the anchor person.When they slaughter the English launguge.
If you and your wife are looking for a place, you haven't been before, you have two totally different concepts how to find that place: your wife will ask 5 people on the way and make 8 tel calls to ask for a direction. You simply look for the address.
Your wife passing gas in mid conversation doesn't shock you anymore.
Alcohol any time of day is just not the surprise it used to be.
You start being critical of the taxi driver, because he won't cross the center line of the road to pas the slower bus in front of you.
You watch the sports on CCTV 9 everyday because you need your daily fix of Yao Ming information.
You start thinking that 10 RMB for a bowl of noodles is outrageous in price.
You look forward to getting into a taxi in Changsha, because when the driver flips the meter, you look forward to the ladies voice that says "Welcome to take taxi in Changsha."
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You know you have been in the country too long, when you start to stare at the other lao wai.
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You know you've been in Viet-nam too long when you get up off your mat check for snake or bug bite's, go out in the rice paddy to squatt and find your girlfriends mother takeing a dump just a row away from you, then using her hand to wipe and wiping it off on her pajamma bottoms then goes in to make everyone breakfast.....:fi_lone_ranger:
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You blow your nose delicately on a tissue...and you could plant potatoes in the result !!!
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OK Rocky and David I was trying to eat breakfast while reading your posts.
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Shaun
You'll have to get used to these "niceties" in China...all part of the daily pageant of life :):):)
DavidE
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David,
Your dead right about blowing your nose, and that goes for you being anywhere near an industrial area. The trouble is, a lot of Chinese industrial areas are in the middle of towns and cities....
Not exactly too healthy, for those going to live there permanently!!
David.....
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You put your dogs and cats inside and you sleep outside to guard them....LOL...LOL
you put the guard dogs inside and you sleep outside to guard them....LOL
:fi_lone_ranger:
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....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction. It is then you realize the women at home are safe.
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You know you are in China to long when you start eating things you can't identify and don't care
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You know your in China, when you see guy's snorting, and then gobbing (spitting) as they walk along the streets, and your trying to dodge all that gobbing.... And not a soul takes a blind bit of notice. But kiss your wife or girlfriend ...Wow!! everybody notices!! ...lol!!
David.....
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You get 6 women from different spots in a restaraunt conducting a family discussion at 274 decibels.
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David,
Yeah,.... your bloody right there, Why they always have to shout at a restaurant i will never know. They shout even when there talking to the person next to them!!!.. And it ain't just women, ...it's all of the little buggers!! Don't know about you, but i often come out of a restaurant in China with a flaming headache.
It's funny, but these Cypriots here, are not too different either, but they shout all the time anyway, ...i think it's a Greek thing!! hahaha!!
David....
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Every time I'm on the phone with my lady I can hear everything going on in the neighborhood. A woman yelling and crying the husband lost about $300.00 and she was upset. A wedding across the street, the recycling man that comes down the street yelling for old TV's and other electronics. Gezzz I complain that there is to many cars (3) coming down my street?
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It always tickled my humour to watch the wives organising everything in the restaraunt with ruthless and extremely noisy efficiency. While Dad and kids sat there quiet and eat and eat and eat....and smoke and smoke and smoke !!!!
Any slight slacking in familial appetite brought a giant tirade from Mama...meanwhile she is busy conducting all this traffic and brutalising the poor waitresses, whilst at the same time shouting her brains out at about 8 other women in the restaraunt...who are also all shouting their brains out at 6 other women.
You are dead right....at the end of a meal, I was about exhausted and shell-shocked , with a giant headache and semi-permanent tinnitus !!!!
But however much of a culture shock this is at first, over time I got to realise that this is their way of having fun, and enjoyinhg HUGELY such an occasion. And I truly think that despite the sinister overtones about Communism and Dictatorships, the average Chinese person has a ;lot more personal freedoms than we do.
Of course, there are some extreme pennalties for the "crash and burn" issues in such a society, particularly criticising Government etc. But for the general day-to-day life they are much less controlled than we are.
And when you get used to it, you gotta love their giant enthusiasm for anything social, especially involving the family...even noisy Mamas can be considered charming in this environment...I envy them sometimes !!!
IMHO
DavidE
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I know that I am in China when I get met off the ferry by the prettiest lady I am ever likely to marry. And who makes short work of those pseudo 'taxi drivers' who do not have meters in their private cars!!!
Willy
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You mean the taxi drivers are NOT from India? my god, don't let this get out or there could be a surge of indians sneeking into China to drive cabs - the long way around....and the meter keeps on ticking......:fi_lone_ranger:
You drink more wine than water....if your really thirsty, you can get really blitzed
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You know you are in China when your friend takes his car off the road as being 'unroadworthy and undrivable' because the horn stopped working!
Willy
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Willy
Didn't seem to bother them much while i was there!! ...haha!!
David .....
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....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction. It is then you realize the women at home are safe.
Shaun,
I think the women in the UK are going to be safe for a long long time as I have no intention of going back there for many a year. If my present relationship should flounder, and I hope it does not, then there are many opportunities knocking at my door here.
Willy
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Willy is right . Their Horns are not the same as our's . These Horn's , like their Language make up to nine different sounds . To our western ear's it's only Beep Beep , to them it's a way to communicate on the Road . Without yelling out the window
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Scorpions.
When you see 20 Chinese running and screaming, and you walk down the trail close to where they were then the lady that was walking beside you squeels and hauls ass, all the time you finally look down to see a cute grass snake. Then the whole time you stand there pointing at said snake, saying its just a grass snake and she is yelling at you at 3000mph. And all you can do is laugh.
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Hahahaha ... believe me , I'll look behind me first . That Snake is there for one reason ... to eat and your standing between it and Lunch . :icon_cheesygrin:
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....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction. It is then you realize the women at home are safe.
Shaun,
I think the women in the UK are going to be safe for a long long time as I have no intention of going back there for many a year. If my present relationship should flounder, and I hope it does not, then there are many opportunities knocking at my door here.
Willy
Hey Willie,
I'm glad you didn't take my comment seriously. I can t wait to get to China. There is a woman I am very much interested it but if it does not work out as you say there are many opportunities.
Shaun
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Hi Shaun
I never take anything too serious. I lost one good lady here because she worried about everything. Not my style.
Life is for living not worrying.
The only time I am serious is when I have to decide which lady to take out, the one with black hair, or the one with black hair or the one with black hair. The choice is endless.
Of course that was BEFORE I met my current lady.
Maybe we will meet up in China.
Willy
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I have to decide which lady to take out, the one with black hair, or the one with black hair or the one with black hair. The choice is endless.
ROTFLMAO
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The only time I am serious is when I have to decide which lady to take out, the one with black hair, or the one with black hair or the one with black hair. The choice is endless.
There's more than a few with a red tinge to that gorgeous black hair. I must say I prefer just black. But I don't want you to miss out, Willy, on the basis of a streak of colour.
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BUT Willie has your current lady got Black hair???:angel::icon_cheesygrin:
And a quick question....'Is the ladies with black hair better than the blonds, brunettes, redheads???
I have never been out with a lady with black hair
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Black Asian hair is the best! I do not like that fake red some Asian ladies wear.
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Black Asian hair is the best! I do not like that fake red some Asian ladies wear.
Same here . I don't like anything " Fake " on my Lady . Like her Natural ... like my Juice's .
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Arnold
Too much imformation ....hahaha!!
David.....
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After two months here in China I find nothing fake with my lady. When she tells me she loves me I know she means it. It is the little things she does every day just to make my life more comfortable that show me this.
Some things just cannot be faked. The squealling and the groaning coming from the bedroom at night. She tells me to be quiet otherwise the neighbours will complain!!!
Willy
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Some things just cannot be faked. The squealling and the groaning coming from the bedroom at night. She tells me to be quiet otherwise the neighbours will complain!!!
Willy
Willy, did you hit your toe on the edge of the dresser again? lol,,,:icon_cheesygrin: just joking with ya,
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Some things just cannot be faked. The squealling and the groaning coming from the bedroom at night. She tells me to be quiet otherwise the neighbours will complain!!!
Willy
Willy, did you hit your toe on the edge of the dresser again? lol,,,:icon_cheesygrin: just joking with ya,
Joke or no joke my big toe will never be the same again.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
willy
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Hey Willy, Bob didn't say anything about a big toe!
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Hey Willy, Bob didn't say anything about a big toe!
Just bragging - only thing about me that I can call big.:icon_cheesygrin:
other than my head.
Willy
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Hey Willy, Bob didn't say anything about a big toe!
Just bragging - only thing about me that I can call big.:icon_cheesygrin:
other than my head.
Willy
You're too funny.
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Ok. Got a new one. Well, I hope it's new because it actually happend to me.
You know you're in China when....you go to KFC for lunch and can't find an open table for seating until reaching the 5th floor.
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You will know your in China when you see the motor Scooter riders have their jackets or shirts on Back to Front,
Willy
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I will know I am in China when I can't physically carry more than £5 worth of shopping :icon_cheesygrin:.
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I will know when I am in China, when the locals start to runaway shouting in Chinese 'The Bagpipes, the bagpipes'...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::huh:
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I will know when I am in China, when the locals start to runaway shouting in Chinese 'The Bagpipes, the bagpipes'...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::huh:
And if you are wearing a kilt.....maybe they will be yelling .."the bag and the pipe...the hairy bags and pipe" :icon_cheesygrin:
I remember wearing a kilt when I was in the Canadian Scottish (Princess Marry) Highlanders. Also I remember that the sporran had a nasty bounce while marching. We wore Hunting Stewart tartan. Deas Gu Cath - Ready for the Fray.
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I will know when I am in China, when the locals start to runaway shouting in Chinese 'The Bagpipes, the bagpipes'...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::huh:
I know I am in England when the locals start to runaway shouting in a hundred different languages 'never mind the bagpipes - why is that man with a skirt squeezing that cat under his arm'. :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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You know that you're in China when an unfortunate hotel dry cleaning accident that wrecked your best designer coat prompts an invitation to an executive hotel staff meeting including the hotel director, several assistants and the outsourced laundry owner, with drinks and nibbles and lots of polite talk about anything but the accident, and the next day you get presented with a hefty cash envelope and some more apologies.
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I know I am in England when the locals start to runaway shouting in a hundred different languages 'never mind the bagpipes - why is that man with a skirt squeezing that cat under his arm'. :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Willy that was the funniest thing I have read in ages
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I know I am in England when the locals start to runaway shouting in a hundred different languages 'never mind the bagpipes - why is that man with a skirt squeezing that cat under his arm'. :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Willy that was the funniest thing I have read in ages
You have never read my Chnlove profile then!!! I have to laugh everytime I read all those nice things that was written about me by ME.
Willy
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Cardboard Dumpling Outrage!:@
Amid a steep rise in pork prices this year, one small purveyor of pork dumplings in Beijing found a way to keep prices down and sales high — substitute cardboard.
Here’s the recipe, as captured by a television reporter with a hidden camera:
First, soak used cardboard with water and caustic soda, a poisonous chemical, until its color fades and its texture became tender. Then stir six cups of cardboard broth with two cups of lard or pork fat, one cup of dried soymilk sheet and one cup of leeks. Finally, stuff the cardboard mixture in a dough wrapper and steam until done.
Tips provided by the maker: Adding lard to the cardboard makes it taste more like pork, while mixing in dried soymilk sheet make the dumplings chewier.
"It may save me almost 1,000 yuan ($131.50) a day," the owner of the booth told a reporter from Beijing TV Channel 7 who posed as a customer.
Following the airing of the story, authorities on Thursday closed the booth, located in the Chaoyang District of Beijing. The owner fled and is wanted by the police for questioning.
The dumplings were prepared at a kitchen in nearby Taiyanggong Village. It was unclear how long the booth was serving the cardboard-filled dumplings, but a worker in the prep-kitchen told the TV reporter that it was a popular recipe known across the country due to the rapid rise of pork prices, which has pinched the wallets of ordinary Chinese. :s
But wait......
BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese court on Sunday sentenced a television reporter to one year in jail for fabricating a report that Beijing dumpling makers used cardboard as a filling.......... Thank goodness for that!
The official Xinhua news agency said the journalist, Zi Beijia, was convicted after an open court hearing of "infringing the reputation of commodities". He was also fined 1,000 yuan ($132).
Zi, a temporary reporter for Beijing television, was arrested after it emerged that he had cooked up a report that local makers of steamed dumplings were softening cardboard by soaking it in caustic soda and then flavoring it with pork juice.
Ah, dumpling lovers can rest easy
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Well the chef Keith Floyd (God rest his soul!) once reputedly served a disgruntled customer a sautéed beer mat so I suppose this story could be true :icon_cheesygrin:.
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I have been away from China for one week and have another 5 days before I go back and it is no surprise that I miss Dumplings - but someone kick me -I am also missing chicken feet and pigs liver jelly!!!:huh:
Willy
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Kick kick...I like kicking Englishmen...hahahahaha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Aaahhhh this reminds me of...HEHE you need to read chapter five of my book....hehehe
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Willy,
Not so sure of the pigs liver jelly, But Lucy makes just the best saute of pigs liver (or any other liver come to that), with bacon, garlic, onion, mushroom. All cooked in a rich full cream sauce. As for the chickens feet, your right, your arse needs to be thoroughly kicked all the way back to China!! ...lol!! All your eating, is slimy skin and grissel, .... your bloody welcome to it mate!!!
David....
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I have alway said that I would try anything once but when it comes to chicken feet???? I don't know I think I may have found my limit. I mean this is crazy. This is paradoxical. The Chinese will not put their sock in with the rest of the dirty laundry and will call you a dirty person but then will eat chicken feet? How is this possible? This just does not make any sense to me. :huh::huh::huh:
Mike47, I'd rather go through cupping than have to make the choice as to whether I should eat chicken feet.
Of course I am sitting here typing this and getting grossed out while I am eating yogurt and that used to gross me out. But I tried it and liked it. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
By the way, this is my first batch of homemade yogurt. Not bad if I say so myself.
Shaun
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Shaun,
Let's hope your still on your feet tomorrow, or even later today ...hahaha!! It takes about 6 to 10 hours for any bad bugs to get going and knock you over. So let's hope you followed the instructions to the letter!! ....hahaha!!
Oh, and you have my complete support on those bloody chickens feet. I did try once, and even the thought of it now, makes me heave!!!! lol!!
David....
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Kick kick...I like kicking Englishmen...hahahahaha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Aaahhhh this reminds me of...HEHE you need to read chapter five of my book....hehehe
I havn't read the first 4 yet!!! Is it on CD as I get concentration disorder when it comes to reading in English so how am I golng to manage reading something written in Scottish?
Willy
Willy,
Not so sure of the pigs liver jelly, But Lucy makes just the best saute of pigs liver (or any other liver come to that), with bacon, garlic, onion, mushroom. All cooked in a rich full cream sauce. As for the chickens feet, your right, your arse needs to be thoroughly kicked all the way back to China!! ...lol!! All your eating, is slimy skin and grissel, .... your bloody welcome to it mate!!!
David....
Slimy skin and grissel - how did you know this was my first wife's cooking.
But I bet you and Lucy have something special laid on this weekend???? And it will not be saute pork.
Willy
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It's China, It's mad but you gotta love It !
www.chinamadness.com
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Shaun,
Let's hope your still on your feet tomorrow, or even later today ...hahaha!! It takes about 6 to 10 hours for any bad bugs to get going and knock you over. So let's hope you followed the instructions to the letter!! ....hahaha!!
Oh, and you have my complete support on those bloody chickens feet. I did try once, and even the thought of it now, makes me heave!!!! lol!!
David....
David,
My homemade yogurt did very well. Now I can experiment. No telling what will happen. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
Did you use one of those home made propriety yogurts that you just mix with water, put it in a purpose made canister and wait 12 hours or whatever??
If you did use this method, SNAP!! We use the same system to make our fresh yogurts. We normally have at least one on the go most of the time, and we supply a Greek restaurant with Greek yogurt from time to time too, ...a German Greek friend of ours. I have to get my son or his wife to send them over from UK, as I've not seen them available here anywhere yet.....
The only trouble is, ...when he sends a flavour over, were both not that keen on, A kilo of the stuff then tends to be a hell of a lot to get through...lol!!
David.....
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Shaun,
Did you use one of those home made propriety yogurts that you just mix with water, put it in a purpose made canister and wait 12 hours or whatever??
If you did use this method, SNAP!! We use the same system to make our fresh yogurts. We normally have at least one on the go most of the time, and we supply a Greek restaurant with Greek yogurt from time to time too, ...a German Greek friend of ours. I have to get my son or his wife to send them over from UK, as I've not seen them available here anywhere yet.....
The only trouble is, ...when he sends a flavour over, were both not that keen on, A kilo of the stuff then tends to be a hell of a lot to get through...lol!!
David.....
David,
Yes I used a system made by Euro Cuisine. Found it new in a second hand store for almost nothing. $10.00us. They do have yogurt starter packets that can be ordered at eurocuisine.com. I chose to use some local unflavored yogurt as my starter and powdered milk. Next I am looking for locally produced milk to get the antibodies.
I've not used packaged flavors yet just fruits. I did use a couple of sugar free fudge bars Saturday with frozen strawberries. Man oh man it was out of this world. Put it all in a blender and you have a smoothie.
Greek yogurt? That sounds very interesting. Would you PM me on how to prepare that one?
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Shaun,
The system i use all come in packets, you just empty the contents into the yogurt maker add water shake, ...and bingo, wait 8 to 12 hours. The powdered packets come in all sorts of different flavours, even drinking yogurts. Each packet makes a kilo of yogurt. The make i use is called ''Simply Yogurt''. I know of another make, that comes fro New Zealand, but can't think of the name right now, it's something like ''Yo Yo Yogurt''. There both the same Basically, and can use in either of the makers Yogurt maker. We haven't any Greek Yogurt packs left at the moment, or i would have looked at the ingredients for you. I'm sure you can find out those ingredients, after all it is a well known type of yogurt!!
It's Not quite my cup of tea, but Lucy likes it....
David.....
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....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction. It is then you realize the women at home are safe.
Shaun,
I think the women in the UK are going to be safe for a long long time as I have no intention of going back there for many a year. If my present relationship should flounder, and I hope it does not, then there are many opportunities knocking at my door here.
Willy
yeh, the cop's, angry fathers, angry husbands, the feds - yeh so many opportunities knocking....ha ha:icon_cheesygrin:
try yogurt flavored fried chicken feet, or dip the chicken feet in yogurt and freeze - makes great yogurt on a stick....hahaha
I loved the one about the cat I am still laughing but come to think of it, that little goodie that is hung from a kilt with a wire does look a little like a cat that was run over by a truck. If you need some of those let me know, we have plenty mostly with a white strip down its back.....LOL LOL.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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How to Hold-Up a Chinese Bank :fi_lone_ranger:
Now mind you, I’m definitely not advocating robbing a Chinese bank, I’m just saying that the absurd measures they go through to protect truck deposits got me wondering. You know what I’m talking about: the enormous guns that the dozen or so rent-a-cops have as they pour out of the vans to collect or drop off cash.
You know, it really can’t be that hard. I mean, is there a more poorly trained armored truck unit in the world than the average security detail in China. First, has anyone ever made a serious attempt to rob a bank here? There are no guns in the population. And there are cameras everywhere. So these guys essentially have no experience combating anything more dangerous than their fellow guards who might give them a smack when they fall asleep.
I’m not saying that someone could pull of the job all willy-nilly, but a well-trained group of people could certainly pull it off, catch the guards off-guard as they taser pieces of paper on the ground (yes, I’ve seen this) and overwhelm them so they turn over the cash. Chinese bank truck guards have giant guns that are entirely terrifying if you happen past them in the street, but they also tend to be wearing the less-than-intimidating canvass shoes. I feel like guns and canvass shoes equal each other out of the toughness factor. So I have concluded that most people with a sling-shot and half a brain would have a decent chance
Now the tricky thing about holding up a bank, from what my "friends" tell me, is the getaway. So what’s the best way to avoid getting caught? Make sure they don’t know there lookin for. The first key is make sure no one knows your nationality. If I were consulted on this, I would either tape someone speaking with a really strong accent from say Sichuan, or else learn a decent Xinjiang accent. Most Chinese figure people from the latter are a bunch of thugs anyway, so might as well throw them off track. So you would wear ski masks and speak with northwest accents.
Then you have to figure out a getaway. This should be easy because your team of five should have easily disarmed an sufficiently scared the guards to the point where they won’t want to follow you. Plus, have you ever seen a police car racing down the street with its sirens baring? This has never happened in China, which makes me think they don’t have cat-like reaction times. In fact, I’m 98 percent sure that cops in China spend most of their time being watched by 726 gawkers as they sort out tiny traffic accidents. That and drinking baijiu. Bank robberies are not a top priority.
So I’d think about what Chinese police officers might be looking for. An upscale car, probably, because if you were cool enough to be a bank robber, why would you not have a nice car, right? Instead, you stash a Pigeon bike around the corner, throw the money into your hand basket, ditch the disguise and pedal off. Even if the police can see you through the thick, white smog, what are the odds that they’ll catch up with you in rush hour traffic?:dodgy:
Any ex bank robber's in the house?:icon_cheesygrin:
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ROFLMAO...
Mate you have WAY too much time on your hands....hahaha
There are many films about robbing banks, maybe 'we' could use these for 'planning a job'...
But hey, the police may not be able to get us, but they will use Jackie Chan and others to track 'us' down'...hahahahaha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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It's China, It's mad but you gotta love It !
www.chinamadness.com
I just love this list from that site:-
Top 10 Things You Discover After You've Left China :-
10. People only shout hello to you on the street if they actually know you.
9. Crazy things may actually have logical explanations.
8. There’s grass out there. And you’re allowed to walk on it…
7. Traffic lights mean something.
6. White lines separating lanes mean something.
5. Driving on the wrong side of the road is usually only performed by stunt drivers in films.
4. You don’t see people’s big, pink underwear hanging from trees when you walk down the street.
3. You don’t see dead chickens hanging on clothes lines when you walk down the street.
2. No one ever congratulates you on your skills of using knife and fork.
1. People still don’t understand you when you speak Chinese…
All of them are spot on!!
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Paul , thanks great to know ... if I'm ever short on Money . LOL
You know , While Qing and I were waiting in line at a Bank of China to cash so Travler's Cheque's ... I ask Qing ? Do they ever Rob Banks here in Shanghai ? She was soo surprised by this question , like she never hear'd of such thing " Robbing a Bank " ? Hahaha , they don't do that here ... how about America ... she ask's Me .:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction. It is then you realize the women at home are safe.
Shaun,
I think the women in the UK are going to be safe for a long long time as I have no intention of going back there for many a year. If my present relationship should flounder, and I hope it does not, then there are many opportunities knocking at my door here.
Willy
yeh, the cop's, angry fathers, angry husbands, the feds - yeh so many opportunities knocking....ha ha:icon_cheesygrin:
try yogurt flavored fried chicken feet, or dip the chicken feet in yogurt and freeze - makes great yogurt on a stick....hahaha
I loved the one about the cat I am still laughing but come to think of it, that little goodie that is hung from a kilt with a wire does look a little like a cat that was run over by a truck. If you need some of those let me know, we have plenty mostly with a white strip down its back.....LOL LOL.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Those cats with a white stripe down their back. Hmmmm..... Aren't those the animals that squirt Kimchee out between their hind legs?
How to Hold-Up a Chinese Bank :fi_lone_ranger:
...I’m not saying that someone could pull of the job all willy-nilly, but...
...Any ex bank robber's in the house?:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy,
I didn't know your middle name was Nilly. Please don't tell me your last name.
So, Paul it seems you know Willy better than we thought knowing his middle name and all that. You looking for more compadres?
ROFLMAO...
Mate you have WAY too much time on your hands....hahaha
There are many films about robbing banks, maybe 'we' could use these for 'planning a job'...
But hey, the police may not be able to get us, but they will use Jackie Chan and others to track 'us' down'...hahahahaha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Uh-oh I think we see the beginnings of the apple dumpling gang... :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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There are many films about robbing banks, maybe 'we' could use these for 'planning a job'...
But hey, the police may not be able to get us, but they will use Jackie Chan and others to track 'us' down'.
Do not forget guys that to receive a retrial, a reprieve or a pardon for serious crime they have to dig you up first!!!!!
Willy
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What a lot of people fail to understand about the police in China is, those police in uniform are the cannon fodder. Most will never reach further up the scale than Sargent's, they are basically little more than traffic/community wardens, but they still carry guns ..haha!! The real police force lays in the plain clothes departments. and believe me there are a lot more of them, than the uniformed police!!
You have to remember, that manpower in numbers has never been a problem in China, and secrurity is one of there top priorities. These type of police are everywhere, even holding down jobs within companies and industries where the state wants to know what's going on. Every project i worked on in China had a government representative, permanently on site, and also at the very least, two undercover police plants.
I have personally been put under survailance several times in China, along with every other foreigner that was working on our projects. Normally this goes on over a two week period, and it's 24 hours. Your followed everywhere you go, and everyone you meet, or come in contact with that is not known, is marked for survailance as well... No-one really took much notice after a while, So long as you wasn't doing anything illegal or being a subversive you were left very much alone, they just wanted to know what you were doing, during your spare time.
Don't take any of this too seriously enough too worry about... Generally you will be left alone to enjoy your stay in China. Do always carry a copy of your passport whenever you go outside. A tip here is to ask your hotel, to copy your passport (include your details page and your visa) Get the hotel to stamp it with the hotel stamp, and add in Chinese, that the original is held in safe keeping at the hotel!! That should satisfy any policeman's general inquiry when asking for your ID details.
David.....
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Don't take any of this too seriously enough too worry about... Generally you will be left alone to enjoy your stay in China. Do always carry a copy of your passport whenever you go outside. A tip here is to ask your hotel, to copy your passport (include your details page and your visa) Get the hotel to stamp it with the hotel stamp, and add in Chinese, that the original is held in safe keeping at the hotel!! That should satisfy any policeman's general inquiry when asking for your ID details.
David.....
That's a very good tip! I never thought of that. When I travel abroad, I always have my passport. When it's cool enough to wear a jacket, I keep it in a front breast pocket. Otherwise I keep it in a front pant pocket. After a few weeks the passport starts to bend a bit, but otherwise I always feel the spine of the passport and I know it's safe and on me.
In-Jaul
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I have to say that I didn't see that many police in China. Maybe some were undercover. There were plenty of people guarding important places though, like the 3 Gorges Dam.
I loved the men guarding the platforms of train stations and the little parasols they stood under. That was very cool.
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Well let's see, cops have large guns. I relate to that by this....
Barney from the Andy Griffin show had a gun.
Barney couldn't shoot straight.
Barney had one bullet for the gun, in his shirt pocket.
Barney was never allowed to pull the gun.
Barney always had to ask Andy what to do....
sounds like your chinese police, wonder where Andy is in all this....eating kimche at Thelma's.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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That's a very good tip! I never thought of that. When I travel abroad, I always have my passport. When it's cool enough to wear a jacket, I keep it in a front breast pocket. Otherwise I keep it in a front pant pocket. After a few weeks the passport starts to bend a bit, but otherwise I always feel the spine of the passport and I know it's safe and on me.
In-Jaul
At least I do not have to carry my passport with me any more. I have my temporary visitors permit from the Public Security Bureau now.
Which reminds me that I must notify my change of address.
Willy
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That's a very good tip! I never thought of that. When I travel abroad, I always have my passport. When it's cool enough to wear a jacket, I keep it in a front breast pocket. Otherwise I keep it in a front pant pocket. After a few weeks the passport starts to bend a bit, but otherwise I always feel the spine of the passport and I know it's safe and on me.
In-Jaul
At least I do not have to carry my passport with me any more. I have my temporary visitors permit from the Public Security Bureau now.
Which reminds me that I must notify my change of address.
Willy
Ah Willy,
I see you are now trying to hide from all of the Viagra deliveries. You can run but you cannot hide!!! :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
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Looks like we've got competition, in the bank robbing business.:dodgy:
Wan "Broken Tooth" Huok-koi
For a while the most well known mobster in China was Wan "Broken Tooth" Huok-koi, the leader of the 14K Triad. Short and known as a flashy dresser, he strutted in dark striped suits, cream-colored shoes and a diamond ring. He liked to spend all night in casinos and often didn't get out of bed until late in afternoon.. When he was at the peak of his power he spent several thousand dollars to get his teeth capped.
Broken Tooth made most of his money in the late 1990s by controlling the VIP suites for high-rollers at Macau's casinos like the one at the Hotel Lisboa. He liked to gamble himself, once losing $200,000 in 30 minutes playing baccarat. He was barred from Macau's casinos for "breaking every rule you can think of," including throwing chairs and ashtrays when he lost bets.
An estimated 10,000 gangsters regarded Broken Tooth as their boss and referred to him as "Big Brother." Wan financed a gangster film about his life called Casino and even promoted it with Hollywood-style publicity campaign. Wan was finaly arrested, hours after a homemade bomb destroyed a car belonging to Macau's police chief.
Broken Tooth continued to run the 14K Triad from prison through cell phone and giving orders through his brother who was also imprisoned. He also reportedly had frequent lady visitors to his cell. One guard who tried to bring a little discipline to the prison was gunned down outside a coffee shop on his day off.
Yip Kai-Foon and Zhang Jun
Yip Kai-foon, a professionally-trained gunman, was another well-known gangster. He lead a small gang notorious for robbing jewelry stores and kidnaping rich businessmen, sometimes exacting huge ransoms. He ran a crime network in Hong Kong and Gunagdong Province.
Yip was captured in 1985 but he escaped from prison four years later after pretending that he had a stomach ailment. In 1993, he pulled off one of Hong Kong's most spectacular crimes. After robbing a jewelry store, he held off police by firing an AK-47 over their heads on busy Nathan Road.
In 1996 and 1997, Yip's gang kidnapped the sons of two of Hong Kong's richest and most powerful businessmen and demanded multimillion dollar ransoms. In 1997, Yip was shot three times by a rookie policeman and paralyzed. Two years later he was sentenced to 40 years in prison in a sensational trial. Now he is in wheelchair in a cell in maximum-security Stanley Prison.
Zhang Jun lead a gang that killed more than 30 people and committed 17 robberies in five provinces between 1994 and 2000. A big fan of Hong Kong gangster films, he reportedly copied many classic cinematic Triad moves such as forcing lieutenants and mistress to show their loyalty by killing people at his whim. Other famous Macau-based gangsters include: Five Fingers Fung and Two-Nostrils Lee.
Cheung "Big Spender" Tze-Keung
Cheung "Big Spender" Tze-Keung was perhaps Hong Kong’s most notorious gangster in the 1990s. A slight man with a protruding forehead, he was small-time crook until he hit it big in 1991 when he and his gang hijacked an armored truck carrying $20 million to the airport. He earned his nickname with his purchases of dozens of dozens of top-of-the-line sport cars, including a shocking yellow Lamborghini.
Cheung was arrested for the armored car robbery and sentenced to 18 years but he got out after three years on a technicality. While in jail he made friends with loan sharks who reportedly chained people inside their houses and burned them if they didn't pay their debts. Cheung held such a grudge against the police for his experience in jail, he rammed a bulldozer into a prison guardhouse and firebombed the house of Hong Kong's Secretary of Security.
Cheung was the son of a poor laborer. Before he became a big time gangster he ran some gambling dens in Hong Kong and made a living as a professional gambler. After hitting the big time he traveled the world playing games of chance. He frequently flew to South Africa and reportedly once won $2 million in a single night in the Philippines.
On Cheung, Broken Tooth Wan aid, "He's a genius. He thinks I'm a genius, and I think he's a genius." Once the two men played baccarat together and Broke Tooth lost more than US$1 million. "I was really mad, I put the cards in my pocket and went home to bed. That way, I don't have to kill him or do anything to him, because I wasn't really the loser."
Cheung's gang once smuggled 1,500 pounds of explosives from Guangdong into the Hong Kong. He worked with Yip on several crimes and developed a plan to kidnap high-profile Hong Kong politician Anson Chan. In a crime that went wrong, his gang accidently killed a businessman kidnapped in Shenzhen by tying tape so tightly around his mouth he suffocated to death during a two hour ride from Shenzhen to Guangzhou.
My favorites are defiantly, Five Fingers Fung and Two-Nostrils Lee.
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broken tooth isn't so bad ether, reminds me of the god-father....da da da te da :icon_cool:
But you forgot "Sly-Willy, still on the loose. Imports vast amounts of viagra through his connections, in many countries. Smuggling case after case into China through Hong-Kong.
Known for years as "the man to see" in China for the drug. Hasn't been caught yet, but the chinese are keeping an eye on him. Usually found hanging out at different dating-marrage places, looking for the older lonely chinese women. Reportedly has his own privet harrum, with many scantly clad chinese women. Travels from house to house, all over china. If seen, hide your girlfriend and girlfriends mother, sisters, etc. He is reportadly wearing a purple brimed hat, violet coat and pimp shoes, always takes a taxi (not the walking type) stays in swanky five star hotels and will promise a lady anything....
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Shhh... We're trying to keep this quiet. We are moving the Viagra to Rob right now.
Rockycoon :fi_lone_ranger:
Don't look at the picture and name above I am really rocky.
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Killer strength Viagra on sale..."TheTimes"
Samples of the factory’s Viagra, a drug for sexual dysfunction, were tested by Pfizer, its official manufacturer, and found to contain talcum powder as well as “overdose” levels of sildenafil, the drug’s active ingredient.
Just one of those tablets would give you an "overdose," said a Pfizer spokeswoman. “The effects in men with existing diseases, such as cardiovascular conditions, may be unpredictable and potentially serious.” Other patients would be at greater risk of side effects such as headaches and dizziness The pills were supplied by an ex-pat businessman, who showed an undercover reporter around his factory in a remote village of Henan province in eastern central China. He boasted: “If you’ve been into a chemist in the UK and bought some Viagra, there’s a chance it might have come from my factory. He was secretly taped by a reporter offering a monthly supply of 600,000 fake packs of killer strength viagra for very reasonable prices.
House raided in 'Viagra' inquiry...." Irish Times"
A house in Co Monaghan has been raided under a High Court order secured by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer against a man who allegedly masterminded a lucrative operation selling fake Viagra allegedly made in China .He allegedly said he was earning £10,000 a year from the operation three years ago but last year earned “probably three hundred thousand”. He imported 15,000 boxes of Viagra bought at a time from China, indicated he had orders from the US and Canada and was “keen to expand”.
Viagra reflects on a good year... "Cyprus Mail"
THE IMPOTENCE drug Viagra has been enjoying huge sales since its introduction to Cyprus. "We are very satisfied with Viagra sales in Cyprus over the past year" reports Nicos Neophytou, sales manager for the drug distributor. He put per capita use as one of the highest in Europe.where a total of 104,000 prescription written in its this year. Nicosia swallowed 38.4 per cent and 33.1 per cent was taken by Limassol.The Health Ministry has been concerned lately with the amount of counterfeit viagra making it's way on to the island. Believed to be shipped here from China via Ireland. Nevertheless, Dr Tsinontides reiterated that Viagra is "definitely a prescription drug" and should be approached with caution..
Canada Reeling from Counterfeit Viagra...".National Post"
Believed to have been imported from China This new variety of super strength Viagra is being sold on the street as "poke" at ten times the retail price and believed to have been imported from China an distributed by erant truckers.
This is not to be confused with Viagra the brand name for sildenafil citrate, a drug used to treat impotence.
I'm beginning to see a pattern here, Is it me or do all these stories have one thing in common.:huh:
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I was no where near there. I have been driving a school bus with children. I don't know what any of you are talking about. Willy, ruuuuuun for your life. Run Forrest run. :fi_lone_ranger:
Vince? Vince G? Hmmm...... Never hear of him. Wait, isn't he the guy who took Rob's computer away from him?
My name is mpo4747 :fi_lone_ranger::fi_lone_ranger:
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I am innocent!!! :angel:
I am just here looking for a wife. Anyone's wife would have done a few weeks back - but no more.
For the time being Willy is going cold turkey on the Sidenalfil. It is hard going - or rather its not so hard going but bloody terrible coming. But in two days time I attend my first VA meeting. I cannot wait to stand up, (thats not so easy these days!!!) I cannot wait to get on my feet, (thats better) and tell the whole group that 'I am A Dick Ted' (or I would if my name was Ted so maybe 'I am a Dick Willy'. Now that does not sound quite right to me although others here may say that sums me up in one short sentence.
I am now a Viagra free zone and maybe ladyless if I keep it up or rather don't.
Willy
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I am sure that your a regular "stand up" guy, at least the ladies all claim that....lol:icon_cheesygrin:
signed, shawn....
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Shhh... We're trying to keep this quiet. We are moving the Viagra to Rob right now.
Rockycoon :fi_lone_ranger:
Don't look at the picture and name above I am really rocky.
ROFLMAO.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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You know your in China when Man's best friend......
Warning...Spoiler Alert...... at least spoil your dinner
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Rhonald,
One look at that photo, and all the smells of China came flooding back in an instant!! ...haha!!!
David.....
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Great photo Rhonald, brings me right back, cannot wait now.
That photo makes me hungry.
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Here's two more pics taken outside a restaurant in Tai Cheng, Taishan, Guangdong Province ...
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I will never look at a Dog the same way from now . In fact , I now will make sure none of the Meat I'm eating looks anything like this .
Any more of those and I'll become a Vegetarian on the spot .:icon_eek:
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This must be how they keep so slim and young looking lol.
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You know your in China when Man's best friend......
Warning...Spoiler Alert...... at least spoil your dinner
Oh yes right, over here meat is grown in handy cellophane packs :D
So how does dog taste anyway? I hear it's good ... The strangest I had was lizzard on a stick and ants ... both quite delicious, although I guess us eating snails and raw oysters and urchins in France can groce many people out as well.
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Taishan, home to the most insane drivers and bikers in China, also Ling's folk, i may be back there soon :D
I had snake pie there which was spicy and tasty, purple meat, very weird.
Why does that dog pic not surprise me about the place !?
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Ronan...weren't you searching out dog meat on your first trip over?
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Ronan...weren't you searching out dog meat on your first trip over?
He was probably BARKING up the wrong tree, or hanging around a ROUGH crowd thus he didn't find it.
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Ya know, I'm not sure now about marrying a chinese woman, come home to find the freezer full of meat and my dogs, cats, chickens and my horse missing. At least with a mexican woman, I come to find the bean plants stripped clean, and the cilantro plants cut clear to the ground....:s
Have they ever heard of the HUMAIN SOCIETY?
Dinner is out of the question now.....LOL
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Rocky , that's just for starter's . Then ... it's over to the Neighbor's and down the street around the block , where will it end .... ?
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Here in the US they call them puppy mills, in China do they call them a Ranch?
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No point in sticking to McDonalds either. Remember the song 'Old McDonald had a farm ei ayei ay oh and on that farm he had a DOG ei ay ei ay Oh" :icon_cheesygrin:
Well still want to eat there in China!!!!
I saw dog on the menu at a coffee shop - had to have it as I imagined that they had mispelled the English word. Maybe not!!!! It was not bad whatever it was.:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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How about chowawa on a stick, at least there are no leftovers. Now I know what those were in that plate in the pictures, at first I thought perhaps pork ribs, but now I see that they were greyhound ribs.....fresh cleaned, washed off in the street and fried to perfection...oop's there goes my lunch agian...:icon_eek:
Apparently, those are the humain society dogs. When they pet their dogs, it's not for love or affection, they just want to find out how much meat is on there bones....:icon_cheesygrin:
This brings up hundreds of dog and cat jokes to mind....willy are you eating this stuff? I think I'd hang out at the fish market.....
:icon_cheesygrin:
On second thought, I'll bring a sack lunch....:icon_cheesygrin:
On third thought, who wants to marry a chinese woman who on the full moon, gets out of bed and opens the window and starts howling at the moon.....
Or has to have a flea bath every 30 days
I couldn't stand all the panting and scratching all the time, and don't forget you have to let them out to go when they scatch at the door.
and don't forget all the newspaper you'll have to use to house break them....and the vet bills....LOL LOL :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Well that looked like a Pit Bull to me? Greyhounds don't have any meat on them. :s
I hope that dog did something real bad before it ended up there.
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DO YOU HAVE TO BUY THEM A "FIREPLUG" FOR A WEDDING GIFT? Don't forget, you'll have to wash your tires off more often, and keep them in when in heat....lol
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So, what if they do not eat all of their food and they take it home. What do they put it in?
Rocky, I've been used to the howling at night, nothing will change there, and I can tell you it wont be the moon she howls at. :angel: I don't think I need to elaborate. :icon_cool:
I am a little concerned about dipping even more about the fire plug but the hanging around in packs? I'll have to put my foot down on that one.
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guys, I just couldn't resist this..it was too tempting...
TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO MARRY A GAL FROM CHINA IF SHE'S BEEN EATING DOG MEAT....
10. Flea's
9. Howls at the moon every full moon...you get no sleep
8. For some reason that bag of rice now says "Alpo" on it.
7. Hangs head out of car window with tounge hanging out when driving
6. Sits under you at the table and begs...
5. neighbors call you at work, to complain about your wife chasing there cat
4. Has a bad habit of sniffing everyones butt.
3. Your dinner no longer on plate, now comes in a bowl with your name on it
2. When neighbors come to visit, she humps their legs
1. On thanksgiving --- neighbor's dog missing but on table ----- 4 drumsticks.....
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Okay , now you know your in Germany !!
When you look for a Parking spot and can't find one . The next best thing is ... park like this Guy did his Car . Leave it up to the German's to think of that .:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Most beautiful Chinese female soldier ...?
http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/90001/90782/90875/6789393.html
I'm not saying anything :angel:
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Most beautiful Chinese female soldier ...?
http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/90001/90782/90875/6789393.html
I'm not saying anything :angel:
There were dozens of security officials in Beijing airport who looked like her :blush:.
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Hahaha ... notice , they even wear High Heel Shoe's instead of Boot's ?
But I bet , behind that beautiful Skin is a pretty tough Lady ( Soldier ) ?
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Yeah right, ..... a Chinese soldier wearing fashion high heeled boots...
Pull the other one , ..it's got bells on!! hahaha!!
David.....
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I bet if you tried to mess with her you'd be worse off, far worse off, never underestimate a pretty seemingly weak Chinese lady, especially one in the military!! I must admit though it has an appeal..
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Ronan,
You forget, i know exactly what trained Chinese ladies, (or man) are capable of, ...i lived amongst them for too many years not to know!! I am also a martial artist myself of some 18 years, although long since lapsed.
That's not what i was pointing out, .....i was pointing out that you would never see a woman Chinese soldier in a pair of fashion high heeled boots, when they are in uniform!!
hence '' pull the other leg, ....it's got bells on''!!! The woman was in all probability, a model, just like the spotless army viechle in the photo shoots!!!
David......
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Wenzhou Realtyr Investment Holdings Limited, Adult toy catalog. I came across this by accident, honest!:angel:
"The shaky only series"
Vibrator (ABW-1025
100% night, single you can with your man assistants, have never had experience of the pleasure.
Vibrator (ABW-1008)
Virtual skin, soft and high ridges on the penis is clearly visible, to redouble their sensitive parts of.
"The sucktion series"
Sucktion (ABW-3069)
A strong willpower so that he always survive no matter you how to play, always in there, look sexy, deadly.
Sucktion (ABW-3062)
It is like the artist and his works in the folder with a wild bohemian, spiral vibration feeling its head.
"For woman vibrators"
Woman Vibrator (ABW-2056)
Adjustable rotation, vibration rabbit head, in full accordance with the system of sensitive parts of.
Woman Vibrator (ABW-2009)
With the addition of Mr. Passion so that you can no longer be restrained, he will give you hot encounter.
Woman Vibrator (ABW-2053)
1.The twizzler probe.
2.Vibrating, reversible gyrating, light; wonderful surface.
"From the vagina series"
Vagina (ABM-1002)
If you need to experience the Cleopatra style, indulgent taste and experience the beauty, let her with you.
Vagina (ABM-1001)
Although she engaged in a man obsessed with the world's most professional, comprehensive engagement you.
Errrr run that by me again! "Although she engaged in a man obsessed with the world's most professional, comprehensive engagement you" At least with "It is like the artist and his works in the folder with a wild bohemian, spiral vibration feeling its head" you know where you stand.:-/
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No wonder the divorce rate is so high in China....:icon_cheesygrin: guess a lot of people walk and wank on the beach there....lol
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I know I am not in China when I wake up around 3.30 every morning!! Just two days to go and I will be on my way back. Five days seems like five months!!!!
Willy
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Thought you liked it there Willy,, what's the matter run out of lonely widows or viagra or both.....perhaps it was the bagpipe playing at 3;00 am in the morning...:icon_cheesygrin:
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I am more than happy in China. My singers have an engagement in UK on Saturday so i flew back to be there and I am flying back the following day. 4 days travelling to spend three days here - perfect. I will be back with my Angel by Monday and will not have to come back until May when they start a tour.
Note I am a changed man - went cold turkey off the Viagra (that was hard going - or should that be the other way round?) and also off the divorcee and widow women.
Willy
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You get invited to go skiing for the weekend! :huh:
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Apparently skiing has become increasingly popular with Chinese people over the last few years. So get those ski's on Jim and here's a directory of the best ski resorts in China . :icon_cool:
1. Alshan Alpine Skiing Resort
Notes: Resort surrounded by forests
Location: On the border of Inner Mongolia (Province) in China and Mongolia itself
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1
Skiing Market: Beginners to advanced
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Ulanhot, 3-4 hours by bus/train to resort
2. Beijing Huaibei Ski Resort
Notes: Largest ski resort accessible from Beijing
Location: 70km outside of Beijing
Season: Dec 1 through Mar 1
Lifts: 4
Trails: 6
Skiing Market: Beginners to Advanced
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: About 1 hour by car from Beijing to the resort
3. Beijing Nanshan International Ski Slope & Resort
Notes: Purports to have the first international standard half-pipe in China, China's first advanced mogul trail as well as the first snow football field
Location: 80km outside of Beijing
Season: Dec 15 through Mar 15
Highest Mountain: 600m
Snowboards: Yes
Accommodation: Yes, on site ski-in and out
Skiing Market: Beginners - Advanced
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: About 1.5 hours by car from Beijing to the resort
4. Changchun Beidahu Ski Resort
Notes: Purports to have the first professional ski slopes in China with international standards
Location: Jilin Province
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 1400m
Lifts: 6
Trails: 6
Platforms: 4
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Skiing Market: Suitable for all
Cost: Skiing from US$30/day
Getting There: From Beijing flight to Jilin, then travel by car 1.5 hours from Jilin
5. Erlongshan Longzhu Ski Resort
Location: Near Harbin
Season: Dec 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 266m
Lifts: 1
Trails: 8
Skiing Market: Beginners
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Harbin (2 hours), 1 hour by bus/taxi to resort
6. Jilin Changbeishan Ski Resort
Notes: Located in Changbeihan Nature Reserve
Location: Jilin Province
Season: Nov 1 through May 1
Highest Mountain: 1820m
Lifts: 1
Trails: 4
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Skiing Market: Suitable for all
Cost: Skiing from US$30/day + US$5 entry to reserve area
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Yanji airport
7. Ping Tian Resort
Notes: Phase I slated to open November 2009 boasting "China's first world class, luxury ski resort" in Xinjiang provinces Tianshan mountain range.
One hour outside Urumqi, Xinjiang
Slope: 2 detachable lifts, 75 ha (185 acres) of skiable terrain, and close to 2,000 vertical feet
Opening hours: TBD
Cost: TBD
8. Qiaobo Ski and Snow World
Notes: Named for Ye Qiaobo, a medal-winning Winter Olympian
Location: 6 Shun¡¯an Road, Beijing
Slopes: 2, 200m beginner and 300m advanced
Cost: Mon-Fri 180rmb (US$22), Sat-Sun 230rmb (US$28) for two hours
9. Wanlong Ski Resort
Location: Hebei Province, four hours from Beijing.
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1 (high elevation allows for a long season)
Lifts: 4
Trails: 5
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Accommodation: new 3-star ski-in hotel
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: 4-hour car or bus from Beijing.
10. Yabuli Ski Resort
Notes: China's largest ski resort
Location: Heilongjiang Province
Season: Dec 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 1375m
Lifts:1 more opening for the 09 season
Annual Snowfall: 300 inches (but expect man-made snow)
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Accommodation: 10 hotels and hostels, e.g. Windmill hotel and villas, Qingyun Villa, Dianli Villa, Jiaotong Villa.
Cost: Skiing from US$55/day
Getting There: From Beijing to Harbin by air (1.5 hours), train to Yabuli (2.5 hours), bus to resort (30 min)
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Now I know why my proposal for a Ski school failed in Zhuhai. The place would have fallen down before the snow arrived!!!!
Before I go just a note about a taxi ride.
If you have never been to China before and your of a nervous disposition then do not, I REPEAT DO NOT take the front seat - or at least do not sit there with your eyes open.
Came back from the outskirts of Zhongshan yesterday. Travelling along a freeway at about 70 or 80 like one of those video cars on Auto theft 2.
Lots of squealing brakes and an equal amount of tyre marks in my pants as I was thinking that I should have really taken a motorised rickshaw. But worse was to come. Turned right off the freeway and I really mean turned right, not gently sloped off the off ramp to the right but turned right facing down the ON RAMP. Ahead of us about half a mile away you could see the traffic held up by traffic lights. My driver floored the accelerator and flying down this one way slip road against the normal flow of traffic at speeds in excess of 70 he was looking to reach the bottom before the two lanes of traffic started moving in front of us.
Before we was threee quarters of the way down the traffic started to move towards us. I closed and opened my eyes cos I was dreaming!! - well I wish that I had been dreaming - cars acellerating in two lanes and us going down the middle. Us the meat in a sandwich and we were going to be eaten up at any moment by some idiot travelling the correct way but trying to overtake overs. Apart from praying all I could say in English was 'Are we in a hurry or what'. Then suddenly it was over.
We reached the intersection and turned left and we were saved. WE WERE SAVED. Was it the drivers skillful knowledge, his daring heroic drive to save a few miles of fuel that brought me through to safety. I don't know - but I would like to believe that it was the prayer I was sayings as MY nails were digging deep into my hands whle at teh same time I assesed the foolishness of not putting on my seat belt against stepping into the front seat in the first place.
Well at least they do not expect any tip.
Willy
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Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos...??? or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha
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Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos...??? or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha
Don,
You need to ask?
hop hop hop hop hop hop pretty girl hop hop hop hop hop hop
Shaun
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Willy, don't know if you have watched the latest news lately, but don't you wish you were tiger woods with 10 (and counting) girlfriends,
or gold diggers that he's been cavorting with, and his foxy model wife knows about it, and he's got 2 kids to boot! Guess it helps if your famous and have a billion dollars....
By the way, what sing group are you representing? Kinks, the Who, Rolling Stones? or the go-go girls...lol
So your a producer, do you have a "casting couch?" LOL
Shaun, we have found out his secret....by the way, that taxi ride discription is excellent, I've had some wild ones myself, but never quite like that. I think my worst was in TJ mexico, where they take 4 door stolen cars (from USA) and paint them yellow, remove all the springs from the back seat (and in some cases the headliner) and proceed to hit every bump (as big as VW's) they can find and have cross hairs on the hood in order to zero in on pedestrians. I think the idea is to see how many times they can hit your head on the cealing and they probably keep a running score somewhere at the cab station. They also like to drive flat out in the city streets (around 80 mph) from stoplight to the end of the ride, they don't stop for red lights. LOL.
I have experanced those "skid marks" on several occasions, and the driver had to clean the seat covers after I got out. Perhaps I'll start a thread on "the worst taxi ride ever" or "how close I've come to death and lived" ... LOL
That's got to be an extream sport...kind of like triple XXX.
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Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos...??? or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha
I'll let you know the grade when it next snows in Southern China Iam told that there has been no snow here for few hundred years but I'm willing to hang on for the next time.
Willy
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If it snows I would not ride. I would have to stay home.
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*Idea*
wait untill it snows, take rope and tie to rear bumper of taxi, put on ski's, tie rope around waist, wait for first taxi fare, enjoy....LOL
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Yes, but who is going to stop the taxi riding your rear bumper. Mine isn't that big anymore and shrinking. You'd think it would be getting larger since one person isn't getting as many bites as she used to. We all ain't like the big one. Right biggie?
Shaun
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Mines isn't that big anymore and shrinking. You'd think it would be getting larger since one person isn't getting as many bites as she used to.
Could it be from the reduced swelling do to the fact it's not being bitten so much any more?
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David,
That could be or maybe now that I am cooking I am getting a better quality food or even better yet maybe she isn't poisoning my food anymore.
Someone asked me what is the best way for a man to lose weight? I didn't have a clue. He said, "Divorce!" Maybe he is right.
Shaun
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cut out the dog portion of the meal, thus loosing weight, cats are not fatting....lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dLFQZAPFDc
Just for you Shaun....
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cut out the dog portion of the meal
If we did that in my house we would have no meat at all!!!!!!
Willy
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Don,
Funny video.
You joke about cat and dog. When I worked in the oil business I used to have to go to Hobbs, New Mexico quite a bit. When I was there I would always go to a food stand there that sold Burritos. For those of you who do not what a burrito is, it is a extra long dumpling about 8"-10" long. :icon_cheesygrin: No really I could almost eat them for every meal for the rest of my life. It is a 10" flour tortilla and you can wrap almost anything up in it.
Anyway, I do not remember the name of the food stand but in the oil field in West Texas and in New Mexico we called it the Burrito stand. If you worked in the oil field there, you knew about it. Most of the people loved it and would make special trips there to buy a load of burritos. In that area it was famous.
One day sitting in my office reading the news paper, I read that the owner of this burrito stand was arrested and in jail. It seems he had been collecting the stray cats for years and using their meat for his famous burritos. I didn't eat much of anything else that day.
Reflection: I have to say though, they were the best burritos I have ever ate. If I were to go back there and he were openly selling cat burritos I would buy one. Dog, now that is another story.
Shaun
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MMMMMEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW
Now I know where to look for my cat that's been missing :icon_cheesygrin:
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MMMMMEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW
Now I know where to look for my cat that's been missing :icon_cheesygrin:
Still liking my fingers. :P