China Romance

General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: shaun on January 25, 2011, 10:24:31 pm

Title: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 25, 2011, 10:24:31 pm: Well, today marks the fifth month that Peggy and me have been waiting to hear from Homeland Security. I received my NOA1 on August 25th, 2010. Here it is January 25th, 2011 and according to VisaJourney the Vermont Service center has been on August 9th since Friday. Vermont is at 167 days turn around, California is about 150 and Texas is about 80. And to think I could have moved back to Texas.

Every day Peggy asks me the same question. "Have you any news?" I have to give her the same depressing answer, "No news." I see the disappointment in her face and she sees it in mine. She says "Awww..." to which I reply, "I know, I know but it will come." But we are ever committed to getting through this and onto the next step. Never have I longed to be with someone so much as I long to be with Peggy. It has caused a few arguments between Peggy and me and has caused quite a few laughs. The last time I called the Vermont Service Center they asked me to not call again until after January 25. It angered Peggy. She would ask me once a week to call them and of course I would. I guess most of you will know what I will be doing tomorrow. I'll be on the phone for hours.

One diversion is that Peggy spent the last two months in Shenzhen helping her sister in law with the new baby, a male of course because no one else gets this much attention. I would laugh quite a bit. The baby has colic and he has three women running around that tiny house in Shenzhen trying to meet his need and stop him from crying. That poor kid has 3 moms but he is making them earn their money. Me? I yell at him on the internet and tell him to settle down and leave those women along. You should see him look at me. I have also been flirting with Peggy's mother. I'll hey mamma what are you doing. She comes running laughing to the computer. She talks to me in Chinese and I talk in English. She doesn't understand me but tells Peggy that she should listen to me and do what I tell her to do which gets a sharp answer back. Hysterical.

As I write this Peggy is on a bus back to Shaoguan to spend the rest of the time with her daughter and granddaughter. To say Peggy is restless is putting it mildly. Fortunately for me I am in the middle of tax season and am knee deep in paperwork. Yes I am killing a little time right now. But i'm tired of looking at numbers, negative numbers.

We are at that stage where we can't plan for anything because we do not know when or what will happen next. Crap it will drive a sane man crazy. I even ventured onto the other site just to see what CS and other were fighting about now. I haven't been there since May of last year. SOS.

I have stayed silent since June because of a few issues but now feel like updating what is going on.

Peggy announced yesterday after our first visit in April that she wants ro bring her granddaughter over to America with her. All this time she had been telling me she was too old to take care of the 2 year old girl. She is a hand full. My first response was to yell NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! But something different came out of my mouth. I told her that we were late into the application process and if we added her granddaughter now it would only delay the interview. SO we agreed to just have Peggy come over for two years and then seek to bring the granddaughter after that. Dodged that bullet for now. Don't get me wrong, I love children. The little girl is as cute as she can be and I love it when she calls me Yaya. But I think Peggy's plate will be full coming over here by herself. Her English is getting better all of the time but she still will need to focus on that when she gets here.

I could go on but I know most of you are already bored with this... For those of you who have not begun to wait, prepare yourself. This is the part I feared the most. The wait!!!!!!! And we may have 4 more months to go.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Vince G on January 25, 2011, 10:33:36 pm: I for one was not bored reading an update. I rather read it then wait and wonder what's going on. It may not be exciting but it's real.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Martin on January 25, 2011, 11:11:42 pm: I agree with Vince. That wasn't a boring update at all. I was quite interested in reading that Yaya.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: maxx on January 25, 2011, 11:50:37 pm: Hey Yaya like Vince and Martin said keep the updates comming.With the updates I and the other Americans on this forum can figure out how far away you are and.How much longer you have to wate.I bet you wished you had Hired a lawyer by now.When I was going threw this and feeling low.I would call my lawyer.Just to make sure they were having a bad day like me.It really gave me somebody to vent my frustration at.See lawyers are good for something :P it was worth it to me to pay the money to.So I could have somebody to blame for the delays.And to holler at.

Sorry to hear the baby has colic.A guy I know.His newborn grandson has colic.So they have called in the best baby doctors in CA.The doctors keep telling them.That they just have to live with it.The doctor keeps telling them.That one day the kid will wake up and it will be over with.That wasn't good enough for the new mother.And the new father.So they hired this midwife from the U.K.The first thing the midwife did.Was build a cradle board.And tie the kid up.In the cradle board.Like a little Indian baby.Five minutes after that.The kid stopped crying and went to sleep.And actually slept for a couple of hours.Giving everybody a chance to set down and rest.

You mite suggest this to Peggy.If she doesn't know what one is.Just send her a picture of one.Tell her also.That it is ok to put a blanket around the baby.While he is in the cradle board.And to make it a little tight.What you are trying to acomplish.With the cradle board.Is to simulate the womb.Have you ever heard.That man spends nine months of his life trying to crawl out of the womb.And the rest of his life trying to crawl back in.It is the same way with that baby.He is just mad.Because he was silly enough to crawl out of that womb.In the first place.

Maxx
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Willy The Londoner on January 25, 2011, 11:51:33 pm: Shaun it is already 25th January here in China so call them and tell em that I told you to ring.

Willy
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Rhonald on January 26, 2011, 01:04:02 am: Hey Shaun can never have to many crowding the wait boat, helps somewhat reading about others agony because sometime misery like company. I wish the two of you fortitude until that time you get the good news when elation can then run riot.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Arnold on January 26, 2011, 01:17:22 am: Waiting "CAN" be hard ??? What are you saying Shaun ... waiting "IS" hard !!! "CAN" you see how happy I "IS" and many other's with their Wife's ?
So "CAN" your anger , by happy what's awaiting you and at the end all "IS" Heaven .. well almost !
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 26, 2011, 05:28:15 am: Thanks for the comments.

Maxx, when all of this started two months ago I did a little research on the internet. First one evening Peggy had to cut our conversation a little short, by two hours :o, to take the baby to the hospital. The next day I asked her how he baby was and she said that he would be OK in a few months. So I asked her if it was colic? She said yes and then proceeded to tell me how smart I was. At least I have one woman in China fooled. Over the next two weeks Peggy took the baby to different doctors and they all said the same thing. Peggy's problem was her mother who kept on saying that babies shouldn't cry like that all of the time and a new mother who was being scared by a over bearing mother in law and the genuine worry of being a new mother.

Peggy knew exactly what to do. She wrapped the baby in tight clothing and tight blankets. Then she would walk around the house dancing and singing to the baby. This would keep him pretty quite. But grandmother didn't like the baby wrapped up so tight and would complain but Peggy was right on the mark and I would tell her she was. I also told her it appeared that she was living in a hen house to which she laughed hysterically and said yes.

On occasion the baby's mother would sing to him. I asked what song she was singing because the melody was familiar. She said it is a Chinese children's song. Then she began the English version of it. It was ABCDEFG... Then I asked them to send me the Chinese translation of it because it didn't sound like the Chinese Alphabet to me, like I would recognize it if I heard it. I translated it and it was Twinkle Twinkle little star... I said yes it is an old American song written by Jane Taylor great aunt to James Taylor. ;D I wrote that just for Willy.

Maxx I will mention the cradle board to her. I remember hearing about that somewhere before but had forgotten about it.

The Yaya stuff? I'm at that age where I kind of enjoy it. Wish my kids would settle down and have a couple. My kids have already told me that my name is stuck as Yaya. It was going to be Opa and anything would be better than that. Sorry Arnold. My father was Opa and every time I hear the word it brings up difficult emotions. The name is not bad but I took care of my father the last four years of his life and he was kind of special to me.

Last thing. I am sending a box of Similac, 18 cans in all, over to the baby in China. I took it to the post office and it is going to be $118.00 to send. I said no. I checked DHL and they were $300.00. The box weighs 27lbs right now. Anyone have a good idea on how to ship it cheaper? It might weigh a little more. Yaya wants to send a couple of things to his new granddaughter.

I'll post a picture later of Yaya and granddaughter.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Bee964 on January 26, 2011, 08:30:28 am: Quote from: shaun on January 26, 2011, 05:28:15 am
Last thing. I am sending a box of Similac, 18 cans in all, over to the baby in China. I took it to the post office and it is going to be $118.00 to send. I said no. I checked DHL and they were $300.00. The box weighs 27lbs right now. Anyone have a good idea on how to ship it cheaper? It might weigh a little more.

Shaun,

Unless you have a super man type of throwing arm (and you will need accuracy) I think the cheapest you will find for sending the package will be the USPS. They should have a couple different ways to send the package too. The only difference should be the length of time it will take to get there.

Dave C
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Kiwi303 on January 26, 2011, 07:55:45 pm: Look at the USPS Flat Rate Postal Boxes...

If your cans fit inside, then they'll ship it for the rate of the box. Speaking as someone who has to get stuff shipped from the US when it's not available in NZ (US obsolete/classic car parts, etc) several flat rate boxes stuffed with bits can be a heck of a lot cheaper than one big freight rate parcel for all the bits together. Or even a part filled box with foam nuts or wadding can be cheaper than a SMALLER standard postage parcel. .
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 26, 2011, 09:56:03 pm: Thanks Kiwi and Robert. I tried those rates already. That was where I got the $118.00. It seems the post office has dropped it's lower rates. They used to have a 1-3 day, 5-7 day, 6-10 day and up to 30 days. Now all they that are 2 rates 1-3 day and we will tell you when you come in and we see what we are looking at. I was hoping for the 30 day because the family has about a 90 day supply left but it isn't offered anymore.

Peggy made it to Shaoguan safely and her computer will be hooked up when ever her son in law gets to it. While she was in Shenzhen I introduced the phrase sister in law to her. Today she pops out with son in law on the cell. I was amazed that she did it on her own. She is at that stage where she is getting the concepts easier but she still struggles with he/she.

I didn't get around to calling Homeland Security today. I was overloaded at work but tomorrow is a different story. Robert thanks for telling me about Haiti but now I am angry about it so maybe it was better I didn't have time to call today. I wonder if I can request that the application be moved to Texas but I am sure it would have to move to the end of the line. They seem to have the shortest turn around time. It seems, and yes I know what I am saying, the government would see that Vermont is slammed and it taking more that 100 days longer than Texas and they would move some of the Haitian application over there but then again it makes too much sense. Homeland Security didn't waste time cashing my check though.

Here are a few picture I promised of Yaya's little girl. In one picture she is wearing red shoes. Those were the first English words she learned when I was there. I bought the shoes for her and she is still talking about them. The last picture was her first of many trips to McDonald's while I was there.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 27, 2011, 11:06:14 am: Robert Thanks. I did call the 800 number today. They have pushed back my application another 32 days. To say I am pissed is putting it mildly. The did admit it is because of Haiti. It seems that abused women can file and their applications only go to Vermont. There are a ton of applications and they do go to the front of the line. Better yet is that most of them are done for free.

I mean I understand the need to get these woman out if they are being abused but dang, why didn't they send my app to Texas or California instead? They did tell me that they could send it there but it would more than likely go to the end of the line.

I was nice to the woman I was talking to but I am sure not happy about this. They also told me they are on July 24. I imagine at the end of the 32 days that I will have to wait even more.

@#(&)Q@ @)(&^n #)_@(&^ n @_)(@*%^& ) $()^*@^&@^ and I mean it too.

By the way Robert where can you see what applications have been processed?
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David E on January 27, 2011, 04:35:19 pm: Shaun, I am really sorry to hear about your latest delay....another 32 days and maybe more.

You are not alone .......we have the same issues here. These Illegal Boat People Immigrants get the same priority and go to the front of the line.
Most of them are not refugees, but just freeloaders seeking to get their nose in our trough. The whole traffic is sponsored and encouraged by people smugglers, mostly from Indonesia. We cant do anything about it !!!!

Imagine how you would go in Business if you said to your clients.."sorry, I have got your order, which you have paid for, but I have just got a lot of orders from some overseas clients who I will supply for free. By the way, your order goes to the back of the line and I MAY be in a position to supply you in a couple of months, maybe"

World wide, we as citizens have allowed this state of affairs to develop. Now we are totally in the hands of these people, in so many ways, not only the reunion with our beloved but in every walk of life we are now just bloody sheep. How did it all happen, that we are so controlled by "Public Servants"...servants my eye !!!!!

Unfortunately, I dont think there is a way out now, Roman style revolutions are out of fashion !!! and I dont know where we could get our hands on a guillotine and copy the French !!

So we all just gotta grin and bear it Shaun...but I aint happy also, along with many others.

Keep smilin'....one day it will all be just a memory

David
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Willy The Londoner on January 27, 2011, 10:13:24 pm: What is Similac?

Willy
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 28, 2011, 05:26:51 am: Willy Chinese families desire American baby formula or baby milk. It could be the same with other western countries but Peggy's family has come out of the woodworks to thank me for sending it. When momma I know how important it was. So guys, forget the chocolate, alcohol, jerky, westernized gifts and such what they want is baby formula. ;D

Just keep in mind it costs an arm and a leg to ship it there.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Jimmy on January 28, 2011, 05:17:04 pm: 5 whole months WOW. My wife and I are into our 2nd year of waiting. And nothing new is happening. I am hoping this new lawyer will stir up something.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on January 28, 2011, 07:57:43 pm: Jimmy, I realize it has been a long time for you. I really don't know how you've done it. This is the part I have feared the most. Once I make my mind up to do something then I am ready to do it so any kind of delay frustrates me.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Rhonald on January 29, 2011, 03:45:33 am: Waiting can be hard
the price of my Chinese wife
Tis penned my Haiku

Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_E2EHVxNAE#)
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Jason B on January 29, 2011, 04:34:20 am: that song is our lot in life exactly, I would rather have 5 minutes with Xia than a lifetime without her.

My long wait is about to start, it will suck, it will be frustrating, it will take its course, but IT WILL DEFINITELY BE WORTH IT.

Hang in there guys, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not be an approaching train, it is the landing lights of the plane with your Lao po onboard coming to be by your side forever.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: mustfocus on January 29, 2011, 08:47:14 am: Talking about waiting, I thought of this song. I think most of the ladies will recognise the song (from the 90's)... 妳知道我在等妳嗎? I will leave the translation to your better halves, but this song is very touching...

張洪量 - 妳知道我在等妳嗎 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cWCzx0TYuw#)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjE2Nzk3NDky.html (http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjE2Nzk3NDky.html)

(I need to find some more cheerful songs or else)
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David S on January 29, 2011, 06:30:55 pm: I have a friend who lives in Shanghai. She is a lady I talked to very early on in my experience on chnlove. Any way, she decided to marry a Chinese man that I later found out she had been seeing before I started writing to her via EMF. Well we have been talking and have become good friends on yahoo. SO she married this Chinese guy and they now have a five month old infant. ( I know these chinese move very fast in some areas, and slow in others.)

She told me they don't trust the Chinese baby formula and asked if I could send her some Similac. The price for six 12oz powdered cans at Costco was just under $60 US. Then to ship it with 5 - 7 day service and package tracking was another $60 US. So a total of $120 US to ship six cans of Similac to Shanghai, and this is STILL cheaper than if she had bought the exact same stuff off the shelf there in China.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on February 07, 2011, 06:18:58 pm: Five Months 13 days!!!!!!! NOA2 Approved

michael franti & pink one step closer to you demo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS7gACff1Ok#)

Portions of this song express how I feel.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Bee964 on February 07, 2011, 07:57:40 pm: Congratulations Shaun! Are you happy now?

Jimmy and Rhonald,

I feel for you two brothers here. The wait must be excrutiating to say the least. I am watching this now because it is on my mind a lot these days because I may join the ranks of the waiting sometime soon.

Dave C
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Arnold on February 07, 2011, 10:50:10 pm: Waiting is a hard price to Pay , but the Reward is second to none ! Being Married for close to three year's and to think .. it is still like a Honeymoon . Who else can claim this .. but us here .. that are successful finding their Lady/Wife ? Chin up - tear's locked up - smile on your Face - thinking of what's to come ! Will get you through !
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on February 08, 2011, 04:38:57 am: Dave extremely happy but I still have a long way to go. Until yesterday I felt like we were in limbo, not knowing if we were getting past the first major test.

Others thanks for your comments.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on April 05, 2011, 05:34:17 pm: A little more of an update, who am I kidding a lot more of an update. ::)

It is customary for Homeland Security to wait two week before sending your I-129F to the NVC then anywhere from 1 - 4 weeks for your case to be forwarded to the Embassy. Well it took 10 days to do something that should have taken 4 - 6 weeks. I am good with that because I waited so long for the first step.

My first rude awakening to this was when Peggy showed me she had a letter from Consulate in GZ. I went to work getting the DS-230 put together so that she could send it back to the consulate. That completed and in the mail Peggy wondered what all of this stuff was written in English, in fact we talked about it extensively. Well, I was wrong, someone was about to poo poo in my corn flakes.

Peggy went out to lunch with her childhood friend that was a school teacher and could read English; very well I might add. The basic issue here was in understanding each other. We both thought we were on the same page but we were not. It was either that or panic set in. Anyhow the two of them got it set in their minds that I didn't like either one of Peggy's children or grandchild and was not going to bring any of them over. Needless to say Peggy was upset. The bottom line was that I put in the application that no one was coming with her or follow her. After a couple of nights trying to sort all of this out I came to the conclusion that she panicked because she learned that her son would not be able to come soon after his 21st birthday which was less than 3 months away at the time. In America the waiting list right now is 8 years. So then I knew why she was upset and justifiably so.

I'll finish this story later. A little trick I learned from Rhonald. ;D
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on April 05, 2011, 08:48:09 pm: So the brakes went on and we stopped, talked it through and decided to apply with her son coming with her. I consulted with several people including Robert Snellgrove, which by the way, knows his stuff, and proceeded forward.

Peggy re-did her DS-230 application and included her son's birth certificate. Yesterday I sent her all of my information which weighs 6 lbs 11 oz and cost $63.00 to send. The end of this week I will telephone the Consulate in GZ and ask for an expedite because of an age out. If all goes well Peggy and her son could be here as soon as May 1 then the real work begins getting all of paper work completed so that he can stay.

One think I would like for newbies and oldbies to understand and remember. Don't be surprised when you do not understand each other. My only job as far as I was concerned was to assure Peggy that I was more than happy to bring her son here. Fortunately he is a good kid and we get along pretty good.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Jason B on April 05, 2011, 10:52:16 pm: Hopefully everything is full steam ahead now Shaun. I completely understand the lost in translation thing. But as you have mentioned talking through whatever problem no matter how small it may seem is the best way to go. Hopefully we will be reading a successful outcome soon.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: john1964 on April 06, 2011, 12:13:04 am: Good luck Sean,,Jason,,Lost in translation,,How many times have i been there ??, more than i want to remember.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: halfpint on April 06, 2011, 12:31:07 am: Good luck, hope it goes well and speedy for you.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Jimmy on April 09, 2011, 06:59:27 am: Good luck Brother. Don't pay to much attention to the time frames they tell you. If they were right my wife would have been home last year.
10 minutes ago the postman showed up with her visa. It won't be long now. It's easy to get discouraged, but my wife kept me straight.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: john1964 on April 09, 2011, 10:00:05 am: Wow Jimmy, She got the Visa,,I am so happy for you both, Minying and myself will have to wait patiently for hers but we will be together soon, Best of luck for the future Regards from MinYing and John.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on April 09, 2011, 10:49:57 pm: Great joy Jimmy.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on April 10, 2011, 06:59:11 am: Thanks Robert.

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on May 03, 2011, 10:50:12 pm: Well the waiting for now has come to an end. Peggy had her interview today. She didn't get the visa. They told her that I am not divorced and that I still live with my ex-wife neither of which is true.

It is late and I will learn and tell more tomorrow.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Pineau on May 03, 2011, 11:09:51 pm: That's interesting. How did they come up with that? Scary they can make a statement like that without contacting you first to get the real story. You are the applicant, they should have contacted you first. I hope they dont see that Jing and I still own property together and make the conclusion that we are still married.
Keep us informed.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Vince G on May 03, 2011, 11:17:53 pm: Spoke with my lawyer yesterday about a state government issue. Even thou there's a court order for them not to harass me. I got notices from two state agencies. I can't write here what he said but it was something like this... We are dealing with f*****g A**h**es that work there and think they have the power to do what they want. Of course I agree.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Irishman on May 04, 2011, 12:15:59 am: Sorry to hear that Shaun, I can imagine what Peggy made of that. How can they make such statements without making sure they are current and correct, they are dealing with peoples lives here?? I hope you can get this straightened out ASAP.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: maxx on May 04, 2011, 12:18:48 am: Wow that is the first time I've heard that excuse for not granting a visa.It sounds like GZ got there wires crossed.Give it a day.Then have Peggy fax you the denial from GZ.See what it says.GZ cannot just make things up.Just to Deni a visa.

Shaun this may sound a little strange.But ask Peggy.If somebody approached her outside of the consulate.And offered to be her lawyer.For a fee.The person would of said something like I can guarantee.That you will receive a visa.Let me know this is real important.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David E on May 04, 2011, 12:26:27 am: Shaun

I am so sorry to hear this news...especially to be "shot down" by such a blatant piece of beaurocratic bullsh*t

I hope that a speedy resolution is possible...I find it hard to believe that they can make such a fundamental mistake after all the paperwork you (and us all) have to go through......words fail me !!

David
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on May 04, 2011, 05:27:28 am: After a few short hours of sleep and another telephone call from Peggy I am still in the dark a little but I did learn a little more.

Gerry my house is in mine and my fathers name. My ex-wife's credit is so bad that it was a deal killer for almost anything. I will tell you that you might want to include a letter explaining everything. One of the consulate's issues was that we were living in the same house. We were not. We haven't lived together for 2 years. Peggy and I have been talking only 18 months.

So I will start gathering all of the evidence tomorrow I think. Today I am only interested in calming Peggy down and reassuring her that everything will be alright. At 9:00pm in China she and I will talk via computer and I will hopefully find out exactly what the denial papers say.

Simply put, this is nothing more than a SNAFU. But then what would you expect from the government.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Neil on May 04, 2011, 06:17:08 am: God, that's a frightening prospect, to have that type of news given to Peggy. I can't imagine how my wife would react if she was told that. That's just awful.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Pineau on May 04, 2011, 10:08:33 am: Regardless of your living arrangements with you ex wife, it is not their call to pass judgement on you. You are legally divorced and can prove it. Divorced couples sometimes live together for a variety of reasons. It does not mean they are still married. It is a necessary arrangement until you both can sort out your lives.

Good idea. Have her take a photo or scan it into the computer so you can read it too. I don't know if a web cam is capable of rendering a good enough quality to be readable on QQ. Perhaps she can fax it to you from an internet cafe.
If you need some help we are just about an hour from Shenzhen. I have a scanner on my computer. If you think she needs the help then send her here to Guangzhou.

I'm sure you can prove everything you say but it is a real hassle for you to jump through some more hoops for some uncaring bureaucrat. I hope you can sort it out soon.

Good grief. I hope they don't pull this shit on me. I think the records I have logged in this forum and the chops in my passport can prove that I have been living in China since before the divorce and only returned to the USA a couple of times to settle some business. But as I said, it would be a reall hassle to gather up all the information.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on May 04, 2011, 10:54:48 am: I spent almost 2 hours talking with her. She will send me a copy of the paper tomorrow. Right now I am thinking that someone has interfered with this process and has given them false information. Two time in her interview a person went into the room and got papers and then left. 3 or 4 questions were asked in English and then she was told that she was denied.

I'm not making any accusations it is just highly irregular. My marriage status was decided back in January 2010 when the Vermont USCIS gave their approval. So, to be re-opened and questioned tells me that someone told the office in Guangzhou a lie and they were looking for us.

This is just my thoughts right now.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Scottish_Robbie on May 04, 2011, 11:09:43 am: Quote from: Pineau on May 04, 2011, 10:08:33 am
Regardless of your living arrangements with you ex wife, it is not their call to pass judgement on you. You are legally divorced and can prove

I'm sure you can prove everything you say but it is a real hassle for you to jump through some more hoops for some uncaring bureaucrat. I hope you can sort it out soon.

Shaun sorry to hear about this. As above mentions, you got the proof..a case of just having to wait and see I think :)
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: joeswuhandream on May 04, 2011, 05:40:32 pm: sorry to hear Shaun about this news :o
i should think everything will be sorted in the near future
if only these useless idiots new the upset and hurt and pain you have had to go through
there refusal of the visa i have never heard anything so poposterior in my life >:(
i wish you every success Shaun with your appeal
good luck from all of us forum members in England
regards joey +Sophia
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on May 04, 2011, 10:08:48 pm: I am learning little bits and pieces but Peggy is devastated. I told her she should remain in Guangzhou with her friends for one night rather than travel back home in the wee hours of the morning by train. She is headed back as we speak.

I will get a copy of her white paper soon. Hopefully in the morning. If any of you think I am giving up you're wrong. This is war.

There is more I could say but I think it is wise not to. Hopefully I will have great news soon and Peggy in my arms. Right now I need to comfort her and prepare for the next round.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: john1964 on May 04, 2011, 10:20:06 pm: Shaun and Peggy, I can imagine how devastated how you both are feeling right now, Our hearts go out to both of you, I consider myself to be a reasonably strong man but with the hoops we have to jump through to find our true love and bring them home with us sometimes is very challenging and sometimes i feel so broken,My journey has just begun with the visa process and i am feeling pressure from every where, You are right,War it is and i know you will not give up, I hope we all win our battles and come out on top, Good luck my friend, Regards from MinYing and John.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Hajo on May 04, 2011, 11:10:52 pm: Shaun,

I am sorry to read that the immigration authorities giving you so much trouble. Hopefully things can be sorted out quickly. I can only imagine the disappointment Peggy must have felt.

Hopefully you will be able to sort things out soon and Peggy will be able to join you. Good luck.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Rhonald on May 05, 2011, 10:34:44 pm: I would say it is NOT that your Government is against you, but rather that they are just for themselves. The bureaucrats who have to make the decision for granting or rejecting a visa are mainly concerned about their own job security. They rather reject or delay to ensure of not making a mistake that could cost them their job. Thus the onus is on us to provide undeniable proof. So their method will seem at times cold or calculating, as your bulletproof investment becomes easily riddled by their wholesale selfdoubt.

Godspeed my fellow traveller.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: maxx on May 05, 2011, 11:01:00 pm: Mike when me and my wife were in GZ for her interview.They made the men hang out on the third floor.They didn't let us into the interviews.So we all hung out in the coffee shop on the third floor.And traded stories for a few hours.Until somebodies lady would come down and tell us what happend.Then the man and the woman would leave.And somebody else would come and set at my table.And the same thing would happen all day long till about 3:oo pm.

It used to be the woman had to speak at least some English.They had to at least answear some of the questions in English.It is not that way anymore.Now the woman can say.I would like to speak Chinese.And Gz has to conduct the interview in Mandarin.It is still a good idea to at least try to do the interview in English.If the lady doesn't understand the question.She can always ask the person doing the interview to ask the question in Chinese.It does not effect if the lady receives a visa

Also I think you guys have the wrong idea.At no point and time.Is the person doing the interview.Supposed to help the person they are interviewing.The way they treated Peggy is the way they are supposed to act.I know that is a shitty thing to post.But it is the truth.The person doing the interview is The second to last person who can stop your lady.From getting a visa.And entering the United States.So they are looking for anyway they can to trip the lady up.If they can make her nerves or scared.Then the person doing the interview.Thinks he is doing his job.

Shaun I was in Gz setting there at the U.S. consulate waiting for my wife to come back down stairs from her interview.I was talking to a guy that filled the paperwork out himself.Just like you did.They did the same thing to this guy's wife.They got her so nervous and scared.She couldn't answear the questions in English or Chinese.And it made her look like she was lying.So she was denied a visa.Shaun I think it all came down to GZ knowing who they can mess with.And who they can't mess with.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David K on May 05, 2011, 11:27:26 pm: Seems the same the world over...
I have found that meticulous planning helps. Plus substantial over documentation.
Leave no turn unstoned :-)
Put your self in the Immigration Officers shoes...make it easier for him to say YES
than to say NO. In my case I got support from the local Member of Parliament to
obtain Yans Visitor Visa. I mentioned this fact in the subsequent applications
(work Visa) so they know I mean business.
Next, Permanent Residency for Yan. Again, meticulous planning.
I've also taken the time to become familiar with the various schemes people
use to game the system (Fake marriges, recycling business funds between migrants-
Arrive as a student, then find a Kiwi to marry you - there are endless variations )
So I provide additional evidence that makes it clear that application must be genuine
- it makes their job easier, so they get a straight run, can easily tick all the boxes
that come up on their computer screens, and we are then both happy

HTH
DAvid K in Auckland
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: RobertBfrom aust on May 06, 2011, 03:48:19 am: Shaun , keep your chin up , being nervous can play a major part , just hope that you can shoot them down in flames and hope that next time will be okay , regards Sujuan and Robert .
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David E on May 06, 2011, 06:51:31 pm: Shaun

Just for my information, because I am probably missing something, or the American process is so different from the Aussie version !!

For my spouse visa application I was required to send notarised copies of my divorce certificate and so was Ming. Our application cannot proceed without these critical documents. So at no time was there any possible doubt in the Shanghai Consulate that were were in fact both legally divorced.

Was it not required that you submit the same info. with your application??.......or was the problem a communication error between your American office and the Guanghzhou office ??

The difference between our systems is that we must apply directly to the Chinese Consulate in the relevant City that handles our application (in our case, Shanghai, in Jason B's case, Guangzhou)...this direct communication with the Consulate who actually processes our application prevents any paper mis-matches. In fact, the Australia part of the Immigration Department never even gets involved at any stage...until the Spouse/Fiance actually arrives in Aus.

Good luck...David
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: maxx on May 06, 2011, 07:38:43 pm: David E yes you are correct.The Americans are required to send in a notarized copy of there divorce papers.Along with there significant others divorce papers.Or a notarized single certificate.Which says that you have never ben married before.We have what is called a visa service center.All this visa service center does.Is asignes a case number.And checks to see that all your paperwork is completed.And that you have all the paperwork that is needed.

What confuses me about the whole thing is why was Peggy not given the opportunity.To conduct the interview in Chinese.when it was so plain to the person doing the interview.That she was having trouble understanding the person doing the interviews English.I'm also confused.Why when the misunderstanding happend.Why wasn't Peggy asked to provide.Proof of Shaun's divorce.

When my wife went to her interview.She had a collapsible folder with all the proof of are relationship.Along with copies of my tax returns for the last 3 years.And a notarized copy of my divorce papers.She also had copies of every piece of paper that I had submitted to my lawyer.And the government.

Something weird is going on with Peggy's interview.And I'm not sure yet what it is.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Pineau on May 06, 2011, 09:04:27 pm: Sounds to me that everything for whatever reason was predetermined before Peggy got there. They held the interview as a formality. There statements and questions were prepared ahead of time and the VISA was denied before the interview. Thats how I read it.

My cousin worked at the INS for a while processing visa applications. They not only investigate her but spend a fair amount of time checking you out too.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Pineau on May 06, 2011, 11:22:11 pm: Quote from: sameldrum1 on May 06, 2011, 10:32:04 pm
P.S. I am not saying that the lady in this situation did anything wrong...just that maybe all the information hasn't been communicate yet. Read this forum, and you see time and time again, when guys say, "she didn't tell me everything...until later."

I just wonder. Is it permitted to take a recorder into the interview? That would be helpful in sorting things out after the interview is over.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Rhonald on May 06, 2011, 11:34:32 pm: I wonder what they would do if you took a note pad and pen, and wrote verbatim the interview? If you asked for their names and they saw how meticulous you were in capturing every detail it might give them pause to consider. It might not be worthwhile in a court of law, but when I worked security here, I was told the documenting incidences still give credence to any claims that might come up.

Obviously, if the wife's English is not stellar then this could not happen, but if the husband is not allowed into the interview, then who is? After all, Shaun said that his wife's son was in the interview room at the same time.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: maxx on May 07, 2011, 12:22:14 am: Rhonald I would just love to see the look on the person doing the interview face.If somebody pulled out a pen and pad and started taking notes.That would be priceless.The last I heard the only one allowed in the interview is minor Children.And only if they are attached to the visaapp.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Hajo on May 07, 2011, 12:50:12 am: Well, I do not know much about the American immigration system. But isn't there a "simple" possibility to find out what has been happening?

The government should work for the people. I know it does not do that always. In Denmark, we can complain if we feel the government employees did treat us wrong or if we think they made mistakes. We can even get insight in the paperwork that has been done in a case concerning my or my family.

We also can ask for the names of the people who did the interview. My wife and I had to go to an interview in Denmark for the resident permit . But both of us took part in the interview and I answered the questions. It took about 10 minutes and everything was in place.

In fact, I was close to use the opportunity to look into the case when I needed the visa for my wife. Just to ask where I had to apply for insight in my case, made things going faster.

But there are a few things I do not understand. America is a multicultural nation. But why is the government so afraid for immigrants? In your/our cases we try to bring the ladies we love to our homes. We show the government that we can pay the living expenses. What is the American government afraid of?

Isn't there any institution who is surveying these people? A bureau who takes care of the those who dealing with government institutions do there work right? Well, maybe I do know to little about your country...
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: David E on May 07, 2011, 01:24:49 am: Hajo

I dont exactly know how it is in America, but I can tell you that in Aus it would be easier to get a lunch date with the Prime Minister than get anywhere with a criticism or an investigation of any of the Public Service bastadry. They are a Law unto themselves and any investigations that happen to get through the net are investigated....by themselves !!!!!

Here we have an "Office of the people's Ombudsman" and it is supposed to look after the people's interests when Government Departments (The Public Service...Hahaha) screw you around.

The last time I tried to contact them on some subject or other I got the following message on their phone answering system "Please note, that due to heavy demand for our services, we are not accepting any further queries for the next 3 months"

Of course, the Ombudsman is also part of the Public Service, so any time there are complaints, they just shut down like this and when questions are asked in Parliament about complaints against the Public Service, they say..."all is going well, we have received very few complaints in the last 3 months" !!!!!!
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: shaun on May 07, 2011, 06:06:16 am: I will tell you that we do have a right to make an inquiry. We have the Freedom of Information Act. The request for this information has to be done in writing which has already been done.

According to the manual the interviewer uses his or her job is to evaluate 4 catagories: Health, Criminal, Security, or Insolvency.

To tell Peggy that she didn't have a bona fide relationship based on my marriage status the first time I visited her is beyond their job description.

I really will not say too much about this until the fat lady has sung. I may give tidbits from time to time IF I think it will not hurt my case.
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Vince G on May 07, 2011, 07:40:04 am: Quote from: Hajo on May 07, 2011, 12:50:12 am
The government should work for the people.

But there are a few things I do not understand. America is a multicultural nation. But why is the government so afraid for immigrants? In your/our cases we try to bring the ladies we love to our homes. We show the government that we can pay the living expenses. What is the American government afraid of?

Many reasons will arise as excuses. They are keeping a balance of immigrants, a certain percentage of, or keeping terrorists at bay, keeping those in search of green cards out, many excuses they can find but the truth is the interviewer didn't like the color shirt she had on?

Here in the U.S. government workers get their jobs by who they know. It's even on the application and the more names you put down the faster you get the job. Also they can not be fired for doing poorly on the job. At worst they move you to another position. So they develop this untouchable attitude, I can say and do whatever I want attitude.

I deal with "government workers" almost weekly. This is why I have three lawyers fore I have a problem of saying what I think of these so called workers to their faces. ;D
Title: Re: Waiting Can be Hard...
Post by: Arnold on May 07, 2011, 07:42:38 pm: Vince , that is exactly how it is with those People/Power Freaks in our Government Offices . So , us honest little Folks that do our Paperwork to their likking , but at the end get the shaft/short end od the Stick anyway . This is how they like it and who is going to change that ????