China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: TomFisher on April 27, 2009, 08:32:05 pm
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I've been chatting with my lady using QQ and it has been great. The web cam chats have filled on the little gaps in an otherwise solid relationship. But there is one thing I haven't told my lady and that is all the crazy people that are on QQ. I've been approached to chat by a few great folks and a couple of real nut jobs. I have been, shall we say, propositioned by two men and one crazy woman. One guy was an outright flamer who thought I was beautiful and deserved better than my lady. The other guy and the crazy Chinese chick just wanted me to show him my junk on web cam. I am not worried about it but I was just wondering if any of the rest of the brotherhood has run into this kind of characters.
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Wow crazy stuff Tom! :lol: I would like to learn more about QQ so I might use it to communicate with my lady.
Big Dave
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nut cases come off there sometimes i agree but the very first one i talked to is a nice lady helping me learn chinese mandarin and i am helping her improve her english hehe sometimes i wonder why i use chnlove these last few days get better respones than the damm agency playing or what ever they are doing i use that MDBG site and it seems to be fine with everyone i talked too
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I understand where your coming from Tom. Nick, nice idea. I didn't give anyone my QQ number apart from my lady, when we first started using the web cam. Still got some crazy messages from women? ranging from desperate to out right propositions. Freaked me out a bit, so we moved to Yahoo. One good thing about QQ is the ability to capture screen shots with just one click.The first few sessions I must have taken over 100 pic's :lol: . Now I use "Webinaria" to capture the whole session. It's free and works great. She sing songs to me sometimes, so to be able to see this anytime is a real joy. Even put them on my I-pod :D
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I have yahoo, MSN, iChat (AIM) and QQ. To tell you the truth I hardly use them anymore. Recently telling my lady what I have to what the agency has (for webcam meet) She said to use MSN. Or they will get whatever one I want to use. I just open the appl. and there are messages from strange people? but block them right off. I think they just autodial down a list and it sends the same message to all. Most are just same "wanta chat go to website" No don't wanta chat! :D
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FISH ( x ... )<
I had the same nuisance requests to chat until I applied the "secret answer" password that people must answer before they can add me as a chat friend. Since then, no solicitation. Go to "Settings", then "Security & Privacy" ... also, then you can "check" the box to avoid receiving chat messages.
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Hi Vince,
Did you get your mac web cam sorted? If not, have you thought about using a local web cafe.Only a stop gap, but you could be online with your lady real fast.
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No, to much work and money to get it on my Mac. Not a problem for a Mac just mine (older model). I don't know of any internet cafe's anywhere near here? Looking around for a laptop or the new smaller netbook? but the prices are nuty. One place has it for $300. another for $800. ? Sales guy came running over, :D expected a sale but got something else? Something like, WTF is this $800. bucks? u outta your freakin mind? :lol:
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Over here the salesman try to sell you breakdown cover,and it's not cheap. About 250 U.S for 5 years.I told the guy in 5 years this will be antique so why would I pay this fee and does it not come with a guarentee anyway! He got real angry so I left :lol: . Went down the street to another store.Those small notebooks look good,lightweight too.
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I had one and I asked how she got me as I do not give my number out to anyone. She said she did a search on QQ. I think the password for chat is a good idea, but I just decline anyone that I do not know.
Before I started declining, I would approve as I thought it was someone I might know. She got downright rude when i told her I was with someone. I have not had any flamers but I have had some wild women. One sent me a very detailed scenario. This was her first letter. Of course I read it a "few" times before I deleted it and her. lol
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Vince I just bought a netbook a couple of weeks ago from Best Buy for $330. It already had skype loaded on it and has wifi included. It is a little slow but I really just bought it to take with me and for my kids to use. I really like it and it weighs less than three pounds. It is an Eee PC, never heard of the brand before but it will work good for me.
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No I did not give out m CuKoo ID, it is just random hits. I have met some really nice folks, both men and women. I have stopped accepting request because of the nut jobs, kind of a shame to have to exclude the nice ones that want to chat and exchange language and culture. But that is life in the cyberworld.
I have to say that since we started video chats our relationship has really taken off. So it isn't all bad...
Only one week until I head over, leave next Tuesday, I think it's all going to workout just fine. I'll keep the brotherhood updated but I hope mine is boreing unlike some of the other brothas...
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Oh Mr. FISH ( x ... )< , we'll make sure your postings won't be boring ... hehehe :twisted:
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I keep thinking on trying QQ but my anti virus program NOD32 gives warnings about many sites for downloading malicious spyware that I am worried about the program.
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That's the nice thing about a Mac. When they try to download anything that shouldn't it shuts down the app. Locks it out entirely. I have QQ but haven't tried it out yet.
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Just started QQ ing about a week ago.... I have also had other contacts .. thought the same... they may be friends of my fiancee ... then checked their profiles ... haha!! .. I really do not have time to chat with strangers . . only got on QQ to see and chat with my lady . . so now . . when I am contacted for a new friend . . I ignore them and add them to my blocked list . . sort of rude, but then again . . I only have time for one special lady . . :heart:
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Thanks a lot Robert , that was rude of you . Been trying to contact you all week through QQ and you just wipe me away .
Not !
After all our Lady's are MORE important , then .... other's !
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A question about QQ. I assume if I am typing in English that's what the other person sees (not Chinese characters) at the other end. So, if I want to send characters, I first have to go to Google translator and type, then cut and paste?
Sorry, I am a little thick :)
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No, to much work and money to get it on my Mac. Not a problem for a Mac just mine (older model). I don't know of any internet cafe's anywhere near here? Looking around for a laptop or the new smaller netbook? but the prices are nuty. One place has it for $300. another for $800. ? Sales guy came running over, :D expected a sale but got something else? Something like, WTF is this $800. bucks? u outta your freakin mind? :lol:
I am a former Mac guy but when my Mac died I got a Lenovo s10-2 IdeaPad NetBook and I vouch for this model completely. This web cam is awesome!
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I'm currently using an Acer Aspire One - very nice little notebook. Great for reading ebooks, watching movies & browsing this forum :P
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I'm keeping my Mac intact. I like my Mac totally esp. with no worry of any virus BS set into the programs from Windows. I have a Dell I use for transfer of records and such. But I rather get a laptop/notebook that I can just have for webcam, chat and traveling but still have the Mac running here. According to the specs of the webcams I have to have a faster CPU, newer system (G5) and additional cards and such for the Mac? So picking something up that has it all already? and is cheaper then upgrading the Mac might be worth it? I keep my eye open for used ones that will work fine. There are pawn shops every 50 feet here. And they don't take any computer older then a year old. Just that they paid someone like $100.USD for it and try to sell it for more then a new one? Then they eBay it.
So I do try to keep up with what's good and which one sucks. So when the time comes of finding a bargain I can grab it on the spot.
But the info is good for anybody less knowledgeable trying to find answers. Besides I like a big screen, these old eyes need the resolution. :icon_cool:
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Another question about QQ. The other day I could have sworn I saw a place to check history on QQ. Now I do not seem to find it. I can never save any chat on QQ, but I thought maybe this "history" button had a record. Anyone know about this, or was I dreaming?
Thanks
don
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Don, in fact, you can check to activate/deactivate it by :
Go to Settings tools, then "Basic Settings", "User Data", then check for "Message History", maybe is it checked, if so, uncheck it ("delete all chat files when you sign out")
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I have used QQ for some time and I like it... after I did some changes.
First I went to Settings and under Security and Privacy, in the part of Privacy setting choose the option: "No one can add me as a contact". With this option I only have those people that I know as friends or any other category to be able to contact me.
I you want to look at the history in your chat just choose the person and "rightclick" on him or her. Choose History and you will get every written word that have been between you and the person.
If you take a photo using QQ during a webcam it will be stored in: "your name" - Documents - Tencent files - The QQ-number of the person - QQ - Photo
Hope I could give you some help
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Peter, Sly.....Thank you so much! It took a few minutes but I finally figured it out. I needed the postal code Xiaoyu gave me last night and of course I could not read my own writing when I wrote it down.
You guys came through again. I love this forum! Just ask and the answer appears. Well, most of the time anyway! ha
Thanks again.
Don
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You're welcome, Don ;)
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Don, the history in QQ also can be exported as a backup or in HTM or Text formats. Exporting the history can be useful as part of the documentation the US gov't wants to see as part of establishing a bonafied relationship exists between you and you laopo. The text file is more manageable and a little smaller than the HTML file. There is lots of information that you can use to help the VO see that it is a genuine marriage. If you plan to use the chats or even just a log, it's not bad idea to download the history every so often.
Peace,
Tom
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Tom, once again, thanks to a brother. Tried it and it worked. I was trying to save chat messages before and never figured it out.
Boy, I'm learning all kinds of things today. I guess it pays to be home with pneumonia. NOT!
Don
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Don,
You are most welcome. Sorry to hear about the pneumonia, get well soon.
Peace,
Tom
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I know what some of you guys are saying about the QQ world, i had this 23yr old 'girl' Chatted for a while, then wanted to play games on her webcam, wanted to see me naked, claimed she would let me see her naked too....! But the funny thing is, she claimed her webcam was 'broken' But i could see a cupboard door clearly! Personally i'm thinking it was a Guy wanting some free pics!!! But now i have a dilemma, I have been chatting to this 24yr old girl. I have seen her on her webcam so i know she is real. We get on really well, and have very similar interests. And i'm still having trouble getting my girl on CL away from the emf's! I don't know what to do, as i have been in contact with my CL girl for over two months now and i do really like her, but now i'm Chatting with this girl on QQ and it does not cost a thing. Hehe, i know its bad, but i keep hearing guys talking about a 'back up plan' if things with the girl they go to meet does not work out..... Dunno if i should do this? Well here's a couple of pics of the QQ girl, i have to say she is pretty damn hot..! Maybe i am not thinking with my head here? :))
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Andy,
For Sure your not thinking with your head, but it's a hell of a back-up plan, if you can pull it off that is?? haha!!
I may be a lot older than you, but i have a dammed good memory lol!! One thing that strikes me about the pic's, She doesn't seem the type you'd bring home to meet Mum!! I don't know, just seems (just by looks) a little on the tarty side. But hey, i can say that now ...i'm an oldie hahaha!! Don't take me too seriously here Andy..... haha!!
David....
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Truly, you should not try to wean her of EMFs until after you met in person. Often, until then, her translator is more of a real friend than you are to her. She needs that protection that the agency offers until you meet in person and spend time together.
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David, i know what your saying. But i'm kinda 36 going on 26 still, and the places i go to in the evening, well the girls look a lot more 'tarty' than that. Hehe, maybe it was different in your day when the girls wore a twin set and pearls..! :icon_cheesygrin:, but she is toned down a little on the webcam chats, But i know i'm not thinking with my head here, well i am, but it's not the one on my shoulders!! :icon_cheesygrin:
Also Nik, i am just after a little more direct contact with my CL girl. i would still use the agencies for the majority of my messages. I would not want her to stop using them completely, it's just that now i have been chatting with this girl on QQ,i realise you get more of a feeling on what they are like as a person than writing an emf, waiting for it to be translated and then the same thing for her reply
Andy.
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Nik,
What possible harm can anyone do, by corresponding outside of EMF's?? What sort of protection are you talking about here? Really.... i'm at a loss to pull your statement above together....
You could be talking about 6 mouths to a year here Nik, Who wants to be paying out for EMF's over that period of time?? Who in the meantime, is protecting us from the agencies and translators??
The whole idea, surely is to use all the tools available to get to know your lady as well as possible BEFORE you go trotting off to meet her in China. There is a thread here on the Forum that is telling everyone to do the exact opposite to what your advising Andy to do??????
David.....
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I have been using EMF's since November, and tried to get her off them, when I asked for her email address I put into the letter a note for the translator, saying that I wanted the address BUT I would still be using the EMF's
And is has cost me a fortune and will continue to do so, Am I happy about it???, NO WAY, but I have to deal with that in my way, if Keren won't use email because of the langauge, what can I do, I have to go the EMF way
;-((
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David5o, I am talking about the POV of the girl. Once you have met the first time, then she will be happy to abandon the agency, but she is likely not going to be comfortable before you meet in person because of warnings of the agencies. The agency is like a security blanket, and trying to rip away that blanket too quickly can have the opposite effect than what one is going for. I am all for abandoning the agency, but this is not likely going to happen until after you meet in person first!
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Nik,
Sorry Nik, but if i was still in the corresponding stage, and the lady wasn't prepared to make any effort in getting to know me better she would be gone. Personaly as a prelude to that, i would be writing a note to the translator at the bottom of an EMF, politly stating/asking if this lady is not prepared to take things further in the various other means of contact enabling us to come closer together, then i would have to think seriously about ending our association. If that didn't work, that's exactly what i would have done.... ended it!!
Waiting till you meet her, (and possibly it going belly-up) is just so ridiculous... words fail me!!
David....
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That is what the EMFs are for, getting to know one another. If her English is non-existent, she will be too shy to dare conversing via QQ or by phone.
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Andy
Sorry you got it wrong...in David50's youth, it wasn't twin sets and pearls........the women wore animal skins and his pick up line was to hit them with a big club and drag them off by the hair :):):):):)
DavidE
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Dave you asked "Who in the meantime, is protecting us from the agencies and translators??"
But meeting some girl on Chat/webcam doesn't protect you from scammers. Does it?
Andy, I understand the situation. The choice is yours, but? The same problems apply for both women. One you know what she looks like and I guess she knows english? The other you have an idea of her looks and knows very little english. So communicating may be cheaper with one but more honest with the other. There's no guarantee the chatter is loyal to you either or working up a scam? I'm not even sure if she is chinese? She looks Japanese. This type was the one nighters as we called them. You have to ask yourself what you want in the long run? And which one fulfills your want?
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Vince,
The protecting us thing was just a bit of sarcasm, I just get so mad at times, of guy's just excepting the status quo, and not fighting back at it. Jeez you need every bit of help you can get when your at that communcation stage of things .... if you can use IM,QQ, Email.... bloody do everything you can to use it!!
David....
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Dave, I understood but which ever way you turn? It all helps but in the end the face to face brings the truth.
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Vince,
Sure, but that goes for whatever way you go about things, far better to have those other means of communicating, than not have them. I reckon your gonna learn a lot more about each other with them, than without them too....
David......
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Guys
It seems now that so many threads and posts are ending up talking about the same thing....communication and how to move forward and add another level of confidence to a budding relationship.
This is obviously a key thought on everyone's mind. Plus the ever present concern about being scammed and whether or not the Agency/Translator is complicit in the scam.
On the one hand, we have loads of advice to move into alternative communication modes as quickly as we can organise it, on the other hand we are cautioned to be careful about stepping outside of EMF's because of concerns from the Women about safety/security.
I dont know how the other "prospectors" here are going to deal with this conflicting advice, but it has caused me to do a bit of head-scratching !!
On balance, what I plan to do from here on in is to allow the usual traffic of EMF's to proceed, and at a proper time.....weeks, not months.... explain to the woman how I feel the relationship should go from this point....ie, phone, email, QQ , Yahoo etc...and ask for a response to this plan.
If I get a positive...continue, if I get.."too busy", "poor English", "no computer" or all the other push-backs we know about, then I will drop that woman
DavidE
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I Don't Know? Am I looking at this differently? I have spent a full year communicating with my lady. We talk on the phone maybe once a week. Have not had webcam yet, or met ftf. I couldn't just throw her away because she didn't do something I asked like send new photos? We continue on because of how we connect with each other. Because of who she is and how she cares for me, and I for her. This is what I was trying to get across in the earlier post. She fits what I want and to just throw that away? So if your satisfied with the lady even though she won't webcam or has a email address? Make your choice early on. Some may misread what your posting. These are women, not accessories.
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I Don't Know? Am I looking at this differently? I have spent a full year communicating with my lady. We talk on the phone maybe once a week. Have not had webcam yet, or met ftf.
Vince
If you talk on the phone once a week, you are way ahead in the communication stakes than most of us....didn't you just answer the question ??....you have got another valid, acceptable way to communicate , outside of Agency/Translator influence, that you feel comfortable about and that gives you the security to know she is real and is important to you. QED !!!...That is what we are all after :)
DavidE
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David E,
Yep, it was so much easier in those days... You fancied a woman, so just pick - up the old club and go get her, no sodding around talking about it in those days. ...Just a ''Bam'' with the old club, .... and you have her!! Just Great!! ...hahaha!!
David....
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Yes but the phone calls started way after the EMF's. It's only been the last +/- 4 months. Her english is hard to understand but we get along. So this didn't happen in the first month or two.
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Yes but the phone calls started way after the EMF's. It's only been the last +/- 4 months. Her english is hard to understand but we get along. So this didn't happen in the first month or two.
Vince
Is therefore your advice to us "prospectors" to continue EMF's for 8 months, then move on to more personal communications like phone, email etc ??....I would be pretty sure that you are not saying this ???
But you have got to your current situation in a way that you found safe and acceptable to both you and your Lady.
I for one, dont plan to "throw anybody away"....but having been through the mincer a few times, I get a bit cynical as to where women/Agencies/Translators are coming from, so I will attempt to get a clarity and a further communication mode when it is appropriate for me...so I can focus on the development of a real relationship, rather than keep looking over my shoulder and wondering about scams !!
With the info we have here now, we will all find our own way to the end game, in our own time and within our own comfort zone...it would be a bloody sight more difficult if we DID NOT have all this good info from Bros who have got to this level of comfort/stability in their communication with their Lovelies :)....as you have.
DavidE
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Dave E, I was just giving an example from my own experience. To show I'm not pulling this stuff out of the air. We aren't talking of communicating with a woman that might be a scam. We're talking of someone you know is real but you want further communication with her other than EMF's.
After I posted earlier, I got a eCard from my lady in email. Like I said we been talking for a year (8/22/08). and like the posts I wrote about it is her email address and not the agency. The translator did not interfere when I told my lady how to get an email address on her sisters computer. Also I know she sent it with no help from the agency because it was signed as "Song your Love" instead of "Your Love, Song". It just goes to show that taking the time, when they do come around it's worth it more then the webcam tart.
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Arrghhhh, i really do not know what to do, Things have been going ok, for me and my girl, the first phone call was not the most successful, i have since emailed her but i'm yet to get a reply on her thoughts on it.... it's been a few days now, hmmm...... But readers of this thread will know i made a friend while on QQ, i have just spent the last four hours chatting to her...! Ok she knows no English and i know no Chinese (the course starts next week) but we have so much in common, music and film tastes and she likes my tattoo's ! She even has a couple of her own. i'm in a dilemma on what to do....:-/, but here is a couple of a little less 'tarty' photos for the guys, (not the best, but it's a snapshot from our webcam chat) n any useful suggestions would be appreciated. :icon_biggrin:
Andy.