China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Jason B on June 07, 2012, 05:59:05 am
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I have come across something that I do not think has ever been mentioned here before and I am looking for a little guidance from some of you that may have some experience here.
Xia wants to take Laura to a barbers or hair dressers and have her head shaved clean. She says this is to get rid of her baby hair so she has more even hair on regrowth. I do not want this to happen, but do not want to upset the MRS.
Any advice/experiences?
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Usual Chinese thing Jason. Getting rid of the baby hair is right. Also here it is cooler for the child. The hair does seem to grow quick and strong almost as soon as its off.
Willy
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Jason , yes listen to Xia , it is normal in China for the little ones to be shaven several times , I find this very interesting and may answer a long lost question of mine as to why men , and especially women in China along with other Asian countries have such thick hair . Sujuan has confirmed that Sunyao , her daughter was done this way , and the 2 other girls here in the house also confirmed that it had been also done to them and they would do it to their children , when they have them .
So I have learned something tonight , now back to learning Mahjong ha ha .
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I also found out from Qing, that it is common for Girls to have her Eyelashes cut back at the Baby Stage.. because they believe.. you will have "Longer" ones later. That mis-fired on Qing, as her's are "Not" longer now. So it might work for some, guess not in all cases.
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My 2 cents worth.....
It matters little what you do to "baby hair"ecause the ultimate colour, strength, and form of a persons hair is already decided at birth....it's genetics.
Chinese hair is thick and black because they have different shaped follicles than western people or negroes.
It's all a myth...waste of time !!!
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My 2 cents worth.....
It matters little what you do to "baby hair"ecause the ultimate colour, strength, and form of a persons hair is already decided at birth....it's genetics.
Chinese hair is thick and black because they have different shaped follicles than western people or negroes.
It's all a myth...waste of time !!!
But David, myth or not, it is part of Chinese culture. Our nieces son now 3 months old has regrown his hair after being shaved and he is not yet 4 months old yet. He reason was that it keeps him cooler in his early months. But that does not explain it being done in winter as well!! Its just traditional. Shaving all or part of the head went back many thousands of years.
As we know shaving heads does not make the hair grow stronger or thicker. Look how many middle age and sometimes young western men who do that in the hope it will!!!!!!!! 8)
Willy
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Willy
I am not disputing, or arguing about the tradition...because I know it has been practiced by the Chinese for centuries.
My comment was only about the logic (or not) of it and that logic says it is pointless.
Jason said he DOESN'T want it to happen....neither would I, so I tried to help him with a logical reason why he should not.
"When in Rome........." and his Xia is now in Aus., Aussie rules should apply ;D ;D ;D
If Ming were to have a child, I would strongly object to this pracice also.
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Well David , stop eating herrings , that is British , not Australian ha ha .
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Do not agree with you David. You are trying to destroy a tradition at a stroke.
You say now in OZ she should act like an Aussie. Is that right? If you want her to depart from all her Chinese traditions. The question would be why?
What next now she is there - swigging down pints of cold beer and know the LBW rule?
Willy
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Now I think I know why Peggy keeps trying to get me to shave my head.
Personally I hope Peggy keeps a lot of her Chinese tradition. I kind of like her the way she is.
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nice one Shawn Shaun.
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Do not agree with you David. You are trying to destroy a tradition at a stroke.
You say now in OZ she should act like an Aussie. Is that right? If you want her to depart from all her Chinese traditions. The question would be why?
What next now she is there - swigging down pints of cold beer and know the LBW rule?
Willy
Willy, I'm sure this is an isullated thing for David.. one where he would stand up for it. This is not changing all of Mings traditions/culture at all. We do adjust. so they also should do at least their part as well. Besides, this/those believes are on the way out with the younger generation's... as more and more western ways are excepted.
If the HAir thing was really working, my mother should of cut all my Hair (reddish blonde) off and maybe it would grow back black.. which I would have preferred.. hence they don't burn in the Sunlight as much like us white folks.
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Tut, Tut, Willy...you do exaggerate a lot ::) ::)
To jump from a personal concern that I have about shaving children's heads into a accusation that I want Ming to depart from ALL Chinese traditions is stretching the credibility.
I dont believe that we should interfere physically with ANYTHING to do with small children, especially if it is pointless. By the same token, I would never allow my son to be circumcised, or my daughter to have bound feet !!!
I love just about all the little quirks and mannerisms that Ming has from her ancient and wonderful culture. But this particular thing goes against my personal idealology.
Ming will willingly become as much of an Aussie as she is comfortable with, as did I after I migrated....no more, no less.
It's not an attempt by me to hijack her culture or traditions, just one small personal issue.
BTW....she can drink a pint of cold Lager along with the best of them, we are still working on the LBW rule. She just got to grips with the " One side goes in and then gets out, then the other side who is not in, goes in and then gets out, and they do it twice....".....The LBW rule takes a bit more time to get her head around ;D ;D ;D
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...And as for you Mr RobertB from Australia..........
I guess as a real dinkie die, you only eat roots, shoots, grass seeds, witchetty grubs and the ocasional kangaroo that you find as road kill ;D ;D ;D
I am SURE you strictly follow this authentic Aussie diet as invented by the real Australians many centuries ago....it is part of the Aussie tradition..................musn't change that
I rest my case, your Honour
;D ;D ;D ;D
ps...I imagine your Humpy is a bit chilly in the Winter....hahahaha
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OK a can of worms has deffinetly been opened or atleast the tin has been cracked open a bit. I did not want this thread to go so far down the path it has, but I am enjoying the banter. I can see the benefits from both cultures and I assume that everyone with their spouses etc has made some adjustments. I would like some comments from maybe Maxx or someone who has had kids with their spouse on this to gauge if/how they dealt with this dilema when/if it come up. As for me I want what is best for our daughter. 5000 years of culture must mean somethings were done right.......right? I am just after some feed back is all.......after that gentlemen feel free to carry on......and David E
I guess as a real dinkie die, you only eat roots, shoots, grass seeds,
what is wrong with being a wombat? eats roots and leaves........ ;)
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Ha Jason , your last small paragraph , you beat me to it by a couple of hours , a lot of true Aussies have been Wombats at one time or another , regards Robert .
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Jason Yes the hair cutting is a Chinese tradition handed down from mother to daughter.Since your baby is a girl.They will only cut her hair that short one time.The reason they cut the hair that short is because they believe like David E posted.That the hair will grow back faster stronger and thicker.The Chinese also believe that when you cut the babies hair.That it will keep the baby from getting to hot.And then getting sick.
When are oldest son Tristan was born my wife.Tried to talk me into taking him and getting his hair cut.I wouldn't do it.Because I couldn't see any reason to cut his hair.3 months after Tristan was born.We went to China.The first thing my wife and mother in law did was take Tristan to get a hair cut. They had the girl cutting hair give Tristan a crew cut.after it was done.There was nothing I could say or do.
We now have 2 boys.and a third boy on the way.If the Kid comes out with a full head of black hair.I'm real sure that she will want to take the new baby down to get a hair cut.And I will take the baby down to get his hair cut.
I have learned 2 great life lessons.since I started chasing Chinese girls.
# 1 if it isn't life threatening or dangerous.Or the end of humanity as we know it.It probably isn't worth arguing about.
# 2 You can take the woman out of China.But you will never take China out of the woman.
Jason a hair cut is just a small thing.If your daughters hair grows like Tristan's does.In a couple of weeks you won't be able to tell.That somebody gave your daughter a hair cut.So if I was you brother.I would just let your wife win this one.Save yourself for the important battels to come.
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:o Save yourself for the important battels to come. :o
Now this scares even me! Maxx, is there something we all should know?
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Arnold all it means is Since Jason and his wife have a kid.There is going to be allot more important battels on how to raise the kid.As the baby gets older.
Here is a good example.My wife wants to go to China for Chinese New years.And she wants to take The boys and stay for a couple of months.I'm about 95% against this.Central China is cold in February.None of the houses are heated.Everybody wears layers of clothes.
When you are a small child you do not know that you are getting to hot.So you do not know to take off some clothes.so you sweat.When you sweat the sweat collects on the back of your neck.And then you get a cold.Since China's air quality is so bad.Especially in the winter.A simple cold turns into R.S.V. or Pneumonia.Pneumonia is real easy to cure if you catch it quick enough.If you don't catch it quick enough.The kid can die.With R.S.V. it can last up to 4 years in a kid.And do permanent damage to there health.If you catch R.S.V. quick enough it won't do perment damage.But for the next 4 years.every time the kid gets a bad cold.It sounds like your living with a steam engine.And with a young kid it can be very scary for you and the kids mother.
When you add kids to this little adventure it ups the anty.To all new levels.Especially if the kid is yours and her's.custom and culture differences.Become a big issue again.
Here are some examples of things that I have had to deal with.
# 1 wife wants to send the kids to China to live with her mom and dad.So that she has time to work.
# 2 No none Chinese person is fit enough to watch the kids.So you and your wife can go out for a while by yourselves.
As you have guessed daycare is completely out of the question.
# 3 the dirty towel with the string used as a diaper.
# 4 when the kids are visiting grandma.Don't let them play in the alley.Strewn with trash.
#5 don't put 5 layers of clothes on the kids.And let them run around like a pack of wild Indians.
#6 hell yeah anybody can be a doctor in China.And work in a filthy,Discusting hospital.That probably kills as many people as it saves.You only have to go to medical school for 3 years.And drop the right bribes.In the right places.Then you can wear the white coat.And call yourself a doctor.
Chinese herbal medicine is about as effective as the local medicine man.Out here on the Res.Allot of chanting and a bunch on noxious smoke.With all the bells and whistles.
Then you have to deal with how and why you will discipline the kids.Chinese boys are allowed to run rampent anytime any place.In China nobody cares.In the states and I'm sure in Australia it is a whole different ball game.
Jason and his wife are going to have to work out a happy balance.Just like they did when they first got together.
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Careful Maxx!!!!! You might scare the newbies. ;D
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He has already scared me!
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He has already scared me!
Scared????
He's terrified me. What can he come up with for those of my age!!!!
Willy
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Thanks for the info Maxx, I have changed my undies and can now continue.
I agree with alot of what you posted. We have delt with a few of those issues already. We are finding a happy balance at the moment. Having both my mum and her mum here for the last 3 months has helped alot with regards to different cultures and their different beliefs in raising kids.
I only posted this originally to guage what others have come across and to find out if it was only her family/where she comes from in China that does this. I really have not great feelings one way or the other. At the end of the day Laura will grow up Eurasian will know English and Chinese languages and will know both cultures the good and the bad.
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Sorry guys I didn't mean to scare anybody.I was just telling Arnold what it takes when you have kids with your Chinese bride.Tristan my oldest got R.S.V. in the states.When he went to China 2 years latter.He ended up getting a bad cold.He ended up having to go to the hospital where they stuck him with a I.V. and put him on a inhaler he had to go everyday for a week.Conner my youngest got sores on the inside of HiS mouth.And around his chin.He couldn't eat for 3 days.
They both got sick because.Of the pollution in China.In Wuhan right now.The pollution is so bad.That the air is tinted yellow.The Chinese government insists that it isn't from the factories.But from the farmers burning Hay.I'm not a farmer.But I have never heard of burning hay.If your a farmer you usually feed the hay to the animals not burn it.
Willy what are you worried about.Your a boat ride away from Hong Kong.You can go to Hong Kong and get all fixed back up.Or take a hour plane ride to Bangkok.Where they have some of the best hospitals in the world.If you have the money.
All in All having kids with my wife has ben a great experience.It is a steep learning curve with a Chinese woman.But I doubt it would be any different.With any other woman.From a different country.With different customs and culture
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Willy what are you worried about.Your a boat ride away from Hong Kong.You can go to Hong Kong and get all fixed back up.Or take a hour plane ride to Bangkok.Where they have some of the best hospitals in the world.If you have the money.
Money Maxx! Do you not realise that I am almost Chinese now. I weigh up the easy open milk at 6.80 rmb against the harder to open cartons at 6.75.
Willy
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I'm new here and relieved from the topic name "to cut or not to cut" wasn't about circumcision! However, seeing that my girl still has a few child bearing years perhaps, what is the Chinese culture in this regard?
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Fivetrout Does your lady already have kids? do you have kids?.How old is your lady?All important questions to a Chinese woman.
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alright, first, I have grievances... my father is Native American, which makes me Native American and my grandfather and his ancestors, were definitely Iroquois... "wild indians?" really? even my grandpa (mom's side) admits that one went out with the trash along time ago. as for Native and/or Chinese medicine, if I listened to the f'ing army docs, I'd be bedridden. Western MDs have two remedies, surgery or drugs. I know the Chinese hospitals are freakish scary places, I saw one on my first visit and if I get sick, my wife does everything possible to keep from taking me to the hospital. however just because you went to school for 12 years doesn't mean you have all the right answers.
As for the cultural issues, when me and the wife have any children, they will be of multiple cultures, my wife and I have discussed this, and I'm sure we will discuss it again. If she wants to shave our babies heads, I'm ok with that. if we have daughters, after a certain age, they get stuck with long hair... boys, after a certain age will have options. yes, I keep my hair short, b/c I'm an accountant and people don't trust hippie accountants. It also helps stupid people distinguish me and my little brother apart. Even though he is 3 inches shorter and has 70 pounds on me... we already discussed the sending kids off train of thought, she stated, she is not a farmer or a migrant, she would never send her child off for family to raise. She might go all "tiger mom" on the kids, but she won't send them away.
I think people often forget that cultures don't "meld" together, you learn to get along, when you a child of "blended" cultural background, you adapt, it gives you more perspective and helps you identify when other people really are ignorant, or just plain stupid.
So, as Maxx said, the head shaving thing, not worth worth the heavy fighting. your wife has long hair, so your daughter will most likely be told she needs long hair. worry if you have any boys, because I have noticed, discipline among boys is not exactly common place around here (currently in China). Whereas, I remember if I got caught doing half the stuff these boys are doing, my mother would "tan" my hide
roll with it and choose your battles wisely. As for the "do as in rome" under any circumstance, it would be impolite for me to express my sentiments, however I will say, if you wish to impose an imperialistic/colonial mindset on your new wife, you should not marry someone outside your culture. my grandfather was ashamed to admit he was native, even though he had jet black hair, brown eyes and some rather distinct facial features. so no, I am not a fan of such thinking.
we as humans are heading toward a "global" culture, which means we "all" must adapt
Lloyd
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She has 16 year old boy, me nada...why?
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Lloyd Welcome to the tribe.My greatgrandfather was a Choctaw Indian.Great grandmother was Cherokee and Choctaw.I can still remember greatgrandfather singing the traditional songs to me and my brother.When we were very young.Half of my family still lives on the res in Oklahoma.I've got some ancestors.That walked the trail of tears.so If I post pack of wild Indians it's okTalk to Willy I seem to remember he posted about some of His Ancestors.That may be from around the same area as the Iroquois.If I remember my history right I think the Iroquois.Are an off shot of the Algonquins.I think they speak close to the same language.It mite be worth looking into.
Fivetrout My questions all have to do with Chinese traditions and customs.I was looking for answears to better answear your question.I seen that you posted on another thread that your wife is close to 50.And I seen that she Has a 16 year old boy.So my guess is no.Your wife probably doesn't want any more kids.She already has a male child.So Chinese customs have ben satisfied.If you and your wife do decide to have kids.Good luck.And enjoy the ride.
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I'm new here and relieved from the topic name "to cut or not to cut" wasn't about circumcision! However, seeing that my girl still has a few child bearing years perhaps, what is the Chinese culture in this regard?
Chinese culture does not support circumcision. I know because my wife's son has a habit of whipping it out whenever he feels like it, to take a piss. Caught me off guard the first time.
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I'm new here and relieved from the topic name "to cut or not to cut" wasn't about circumcision! However, seeing that my girl still has a few child bearing years perhaps, what is the Chinese culture in this regard?
Chinese culture does not support circumcision. I know because my wife's son has a habit of whipping it out whenever he feels like it, to take a piss. Caught me off guard the first time.
Should he have not grown out of that at 21 Neil ;D ;D ;D
Willy
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If I remember my history right I think the Iroquois.Are an off shot of the Algonquins.I think they speak close to the same language.It mite be worth looking into.
ok, your excused on the wild indians bit, but... Long house and bark eaters are not the same. I am ka nien'e ke'hake (mohawk) blood, specifically Turtle clan, which according to the League, no longer exists, because we never went on a res. That's ok, I'm not worried about casino money.
Iroquois itself, like Algonquin is a language group. Not all Iroquois are blood of the League of six nations and actually, because the Cherokee are Iroquois also.
again, you are forgiven brother, just being from Michigan and growing up around Algonquin I am always reminded that the two are not related. b/c there's always some smart@ss who likes to talk about the Seneca party that tried raiding up into Wisconsin from New York, but the Brits and French had pretty much cleared out all the beaver along the way. I do know the smart@ss though, we talk at Pow wows. and that is an experience I can't wait for my wife to have ;D
Lloyd