China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: Willy The Londoner on May 07, 2014, 07:48:25 pm
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In view of the turmoil on the original thread I have reproduced my offering. I invite others to reproduce your original thread here referring to improvements only.
Willy
'Maybe it is time to revamp the site.
As it is a free site then I wonder how money can be forthcoming to have SEO's working on it. Bearing in mind a lot of the SEO offering their service are on the same lines as dating scammers. Getting the opening page is right, some people overdo the number of words in the hidden headings but 25 well scripted phrases is best. And these same words need to be in the opening page and or other pages.
What is needed is an opening page that leads to the revamped forum.
I think Gerry is right in one way, the site needs to be more active. Blogs are a good way as long as they are updated regularly. The major search engines love finding updated items. Going back to Facebook and utilising what is there is another and also Twitter.
After seeing that the other chnlove forum goes a couple of weeks sometime without any new entries then I came to the conclusion that Finding a Chinese wife was no longer what it used to be. I even stopped posting controversial items that were only designed to get some activity on here. ;D ;D ;D
Maybe it is time to revamp the mods as well. Even the US President only gets 4 years unless her is re-elected for a second term.
Maybe two mods and the administrator is all we need at this time.
Maybe we should rename the site and open it to all who are looking for a foreign wife. A lot of the info that we available from our own experiences would be suitable in many cases to relationships with other than just chinese ladies. I do know that some on here have given up on finding a Chinese Wife and have gone to other countries to fulfill their needs. ::)
The UK has now opened it borders to nearly 30 European countries now, that has made marriages a lot easier but no doubt the persons from the EU countries need green cards for the USA etc.
My vote would be to open the forum to men looking to marry a foreign wife. Period. There are now many years experience in terms of marriage years amongst us. Ok but lets glean then info from others who have or are looking to other countries. I am sure that the experience of Robertt is not just restricted to US/chinese relationships.
The choice really is simple. Revamp the forum or let it suffer a lingering death.
Let us have some positive ideas come in.
Willy'
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I'm all for getting the site listed on other search engines. It is free. And it do's drive more traffic. There are places on the internet that will help you get listed on other search engines.
It probably wouldn't hurt. If somebody posted something on chinalove website. That has worked before. Not everybody is a fan of the guppy. So they all don't follow his wacked advice. I'm sure the guppy has driven off more people then he has helped. Put something up on facebook. I think the original site is up and running.
The powers to be mite think about signing up with mailchimp It is free. You can do email mailers free up to 10,000 a month. In the members area is a list of email addresses for everybody who ever registered for this website. So that is where I would start. It would drive the ranking up. Because even members who haven't ben here in a while would probably like to come back and tell there stories. And wither they post anything or not. It will drive the rank. When they click on the link in the email. Get enough clicks and you can get first page ranking.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter how much money you spend. Or what promises are broken from a S.E.O company, It all comes down to the number of clicks you can generate in 24 hour period.
Willy I also liked your idea of opening up the web site to a broader audience. All of Asia would be a good place to start. The only problem with this. Is I don't know anybody who is up on the rest of the female population of Asia. If you can find somebody that knows something. It would probably work.
Martin could probably fill the rest of us in on P.I. ladies. Or Dave aka super B or Ed. All members or former members of this web site. He could probably even invite them back. And they could post there adventures with the P.I. ladies.
The first thing they are going to have to do is get this place easy to find. As it is now if you loose your link. This site can be hard to find. Or it will lock you out. Until somebody tries to decide if they are going to fix it. And get it listed right.
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In an effort to breathe new life into this forum, there will be a big change coming up. There will be an announcement very soon.
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Martin,
Do Mod's mod other Mod's. Or are all Mod's equal,
subject to the site admin? YOU.
It seems, as if Willy writes, one of the Mod's is awol.
Then there is Maxx.
There are quite a few very good members in this fishbowl
who would be excellent Mods.
I will not assume what direction of this site you go,
am curious as to the structure of the board as it exists now.
for what it is worth Martin, you do a commendable job.
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Mods generally do not moderate other mods except under extreme circumstances. There have been issues in the past where such measures were taken. We do have an AWOL mod...Chong hasn't been on the forum in a year. I hadn't replaced him. Generally, names for future mods are put forth, and the mods and I discuss and vote on who should fill the position. With this site being somewhat quieter lately, the need to fill Chongs spot didn't seem so necessary.
In times when we have had to let a mod go, it was discussed, and voted on, and the vote making the final decision.
I hope this answers your question. You are right, there are many excellent members on this site who would make fantastic mods. I am always keeping an open mind to adding someone new to the ranks.
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I will be the first to admit...the popularity of this site for me, stems from an emotional perspective, usually when one of the brothers is in trouble, has a hardship with his lady, or has been bamboozled by the system of finding a Chinese wife. Happiness and fears is something we all can relate to. Success's are shared with all of us here and a job well done is earned by our members that helped with advice or perspectives given. Failures are shared by many of us as a whole, as many here have worn and walked in those same shoes and have shared the similar outrage.
The site's humor is of importance also, and there's plenty to laugh about with the different views... "west to east" and visa-versa. Not to mention the different degrees of humor level we share.
The most important aspect of this site is the..."must know" information, legal matters, traveling, culture, and help when needed. This forum allows others to follow in our footsteps with reasonable comfort and assurance of which they may not have proceeded with prior to coming here.
In my opinion, the forum is something I take a quick look at daily in hopes of finding something of interest, something perhaps I can contribute to, or... to just laugh with. The nonsense of late... serves no one and contributes nothing but a degrading of this site. I for one agree there is a need for Mods to keep this site focused to the tasks this site provides and that which will attract new members.
Chris
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I've been reading some of the comments about improvements and had a few thoughts I'd like to express.
Though this site belongs to Robert now we are all members of this community and a community it is with common interests shared by most of us. Up until recently it was simply Chinese women but we've grown to Asian women. Growth is good and I like some of what I am seeing. Some of course I don't much care for but I think we can all claim that in that we are not all the same.
But in being a community in sharing in similar ideas there needs to be rules and laws that govern us or the site if you will. In the past we've learned them as we participated on the site. Martin that isn't a negative comment toward you. But the site grew in ways that Martin didn't consider and we found ourselves having to deal with issues we never imagined we would have to deal with. Most everything has been good but there have been a few bumps and bruises along the way. We've all learned from them and have grown.
We are becoming a more complex community now and the issues have become more complex and will continue to do so as we grow. I think we've come to the point now that there needs to be ground rules established in print so that everyone who communicates on this site and see and adhere to.
Robert I would like to suggest that you conduct a straw poll on a variety of subject to see where the belief system of the community is. I will make a few suggestions as an example but at the same time I think the suggestions should be considered and are not necessarily something that I would want to personally point out as an issue. Please take them as suggestions only and let's not get into an issue of whether I am trying to promote an agenda or not.
1. Politics - Should we talk about it or not.
2. Religion - The same idea as #1.
3. Foul language
4. Sexually suggestive material either photo graphs or talk.
5. Promoting one's business. (I do it as a couple of others do but in general do the members of the community like or dislike it.)
6. Attacking or chastising another member. (Verbal abuse should be included.)
7. Attacking or chastising a new member who say's something off the wall. (It has happened many times here. I've done it myself.)
8. Threatening others.
I'm sure there are many other suggestions that I can't think of right now. The reason I bring up a few of these is because I thought we had certain rules to abide by but it seems that they have, for the most part, gone by the wayside.
At the same time I would see a list of ideas that are used when selecting who is or who is not a mod. Now listen closely because I am not complaining who is or who is not a mod. I am not one, don't want to be one and would refuse the position if offered. I don't have the time or the interest in being one. That being said I do, as a member of this community, have an opinion as to who should be one and want to know what qualifies them as one. So knowing the ground rules in selecting one would be helpful.
It is time with the changing of the guard to establish the parameters of how this site operates to help us in future growth. I do think that is what we all want here.
One last thing to post. I would like to see this site become a place where one can feel safe to post about issues plaguing them with their visa applications. There are a few of us who don't and won't because of past issues. It is a shame. This is a site was designed to help people achieve bring a wife home. Some of us have been sabotaged before and won't post anything. PERIOD!!!!!!!
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Shaun, I thought about adding a politics and religion thread, but I am attempting to retain current members and attract new members to this site. My father told me a long time ago, that the fastest way to lose a good friend was to sleep with his mom, sister, or wife.( This could be 3 people or 1 according to how far into Appalachia you venture! :o The second and third methods respectfully was discussing politics and religion with them. This is an international site with members from all over the world and I think if people are that interested in sharing their political views they should join an additional site or sites that would cater to that need. If this site was just one nationality then the political thread might be fair since everyone shared the same government, but since we have many countries represented here I think it is in the site's best interest to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Shaun,
Site improvement always good. I think there are a ton of suggestions out & about about what we (as a group) can do to
improve our worldly experience on this site and to keep the read interesting. I think it safe to say that Robert is very open
to any ideas that will be beneficial to our general membership & the welcoming to new members who wish to participate. We
are here to help the inquisitive. We are here to support our brothers. There is always the 'open door' for anyone, anytime.
Just looked...there are a grand total of 397 registered members. This very moment 25 guests, 3 users (inc Robert). It is a
general assumption that this site's membership & viewing audience comprises a population across the globe...a very diverse
group we are but with a shared common interest. That being said, in one of my recent posts, I wrote the following "The forum
needs to refine it's structure. Discipline. Order. Immediate corrective action to counter any instabilities. I mean does anyone
still believe in good forum stewardship? The membership is across the globe. Everyone is different, the only common element
shared, the China woman. Religion & politics can be contentious. What I think, what others think, does not necessarily
correlate common thought. But the one determining factor that is a constant anywhere, is good citizenship. We owe it to ourselves
& others to behave decently."
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=544
While I agree with you about your suggestions for 'site discipline' I disagree with you about the "rigidity" of an established formal
behavior. I do not believe in a "strait jacket" site structure for member behavior. It takes away from the free give & take of the
posts. It does not lend itself to the free flowing of ideas that, or should be, that makes any forum, fun & interesting and someplace
where potential new members want to place their cursor.
That being said, I commend you for your stated interests. All ideas are good! Then again it is about what Robert feels is necessary
for the forum continuum. If it is a poll so be it. I am not one to stand in the way.
John
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Here is the registration agreement everyone here signed when they joined.
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That answers most of your questions since this is the guidelines I will use a BASIS for any administrative decisions in the future. As far as ideas or guidelines for mods. I appointed a few new mods and they were picked based on their location and their specific knowledge of the subject matter of their respective boards.
Concerning posting immigration questions; Maybe in the future when we get more members who are pursuing their visas we can start a board for that.
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Well you completely missed my point as I expected. Thanks John for the brow beating.
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'Thanks John for the brow beating.'
you are welcome Shaun, happy to be of assistance.
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My opinion on mods...They should be people that have actual experience with this whole process and not be one-sided when there are disagreements. What I don't like are brown-nosers. You see them in all forums. They don't contribute anything positive!
Shaun,
Politics and religion suck! They have no place in these types of forums and I'm sure my feelings about these two subjects are much different than yours or most on this forum. I posted in the visa section on this forum on something that is false and very political. Yes, there are very isolated cases like I read on that post. I see this post comes from the new admin of this forum. Perhaps, my post will be moderated or deleted...LOL! It doesn't matter!
I wish everybody Happy Everyday!
Jim ;D
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Since this site is highly moderated it would be fair to explain this to people up front, so that they are aware of it.
It is extremely annoying, and discomforting, as well as hurtful, for people to have posts deleted without any reason or explanation.
I would suggest the site be formally placed into a moderated format:
Moderated discussions
Moderated discussions are discussions where message postings are monitored and controlled. When you post a message to a moderated discussion, it must be screened by a moderator before it can be posted to the discussion.
How moderation works
When you post a message it is not immediately made public.
Instead, the message is archived in an unmoderated state.
Note: If you are the moderator of the discussion, you don't have to moderate your own messages.
The moderators of the discussion read the message that you have posted. A moderator may either approve or reject your message.
If the moderator rejects the message, he can include his comments or reasons in the moderation rejection and the message is removed from the archive.
If the moderator accepts the message, it can then be made public
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I think this site is going through some changes at this time, the idea is to open our doors to new ideas and members.I also think that the fastest way to run potential members and existing members off is to over-moderate. This site is fully capable of running in a civilized manner without previewing and approving every post. When people start calling each other out or attempting to instigate an argument with others is when moderation comes into play. To my knowledge everyone here is an adult and will be treated as such until they show just cause to be treated otherwise. The rules here are very simple and limited so that members can enjoy their time here. A simple rule I have always used for posting is " If I have to really think about whether my post will offend someone, then it probably will! I do not plan to punish everyone here because someone posts something that offends someone else, those cases will be dealt with individually instead of locking down the forums in the fear of offending someone. I remember one of the main reasons this site came to be was due to the over-moderation and censorship of ChnLove and other similar sites, so why would we want to go against our founding principle and become like them and attempt to control our members.
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“Perhaps, my post will be moderated or deleted...LOL! It doesn't matter!”
Looks like “Happy” hoppy away.
Happy, I'm not going to touch your posts as it appears you just like to have fun.
“Since this site is highly moderated it would be fair to explain this to people up front, so that they are aware of it.
It is extremely annoying, and discomforting, as well as hurtful, for people to have posts deleted without any reason or explanation.”
mpo
hey, give this mod a chance! I mean, your post is like a glaring red stop light, in the middle of nowhere, on the darkest of nights.
Since your “long effort @ ?” a couple weeks ago, I have not touched, altered, deleted or even have given any serious thoughts
to any of your posts that you may have so eloquently fashioned from whatever noble purpose that rampaged your mind. It appears
you have spent a lot of time “fashioning” your posts and I am not one to piss on anybody's doorstep if they are serious in helping
the site become a better, a more worthy, read.
Anyway, I am not a “strict constructionist”...I am just as liberal as the New York Times. Write whatever you want to write as long as
it is written within the parameters of what Robert earlier wrote. Be civilized in how you conduct your behavior. Just like a football
field (American), long & wide with lots of room to roam, but definitely has the “out- of- bounds” clearly marked off (maybe we should do
glaring neon for the sight handicapped).
Mike, all your contributions are much appreciated!
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I went over and had a look at the 'Other' heavily moderated site. The last posting made there was over two weeks ago, and the second to last was made three weeks ago.
I do not think that making this a fully moderated site would make it any more attractive than that one.
The beauty of this site, and it is basically the same reason that I joined up 5 years ago, is that you could rely on very speedy replies to any problem you had.
OK in between there has been a couple of times when things on here got personal, things went too and fro that maybe should not have been said on an open forum. But they are not a regular occurrence. We must remember that we are all humans and each have our failings as well as good points so these occasions, both good and bad, will arise in the future. So let not throw out the baby with the bathwater.
I can remember, a few years back, when one member got into some serious trouble whilst in China and it was only almost instant action by other members that resolved the situation within hours. That could not have happened with a moderated forum!
We have a new batch of moderators appointed so lets see how they handle things.
Willy
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As one of the founding memebers. We did start this forum. So that if you were posting something. You could get an answer quickly. And as others have posted it has helped in allot of different situations.
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Irishman was the first to run into problems in China, and was able to work his way through issues using this group. He wasn't the last. It is because of the ability to post questions or issues without waiting for a moderator to approve the posts that allow for fast responses from the other members.
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Irishman wasn't the first. He was the one we remember the most.Because of the shear number of posts he made. There was probably four or five guys before Irishman. That ran into trouble in China. And we helped them work it out. Because they were getting a answer or a suggestion. Before they over thought something and got themselves all screwed up.
Anyway if you moderate the posts before they are posted. Then we have become what we despised the most about the other site.
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I can see a concensus here for the group.
It seems that you all agree
1. Moderated discussions are discussions where message postings are monitored and controlled.
2. The old site was tightly moderated by a small group that was in power over the mass of users, and it had a lot of problems.
3. It was not a problem for the small group that held the power, they were not subject to the negative effects.
4. It was not so great for those that were the subject of all of the monitoring and controlling, for them it really sucked!
5. Posts were held off from being made public, this caused a lot of frustration, and delay. Even worse was when your post was rejected with a short reason given such as "not good", or "breaks the rules". Even post that were "good" would not appear in public for 12 to 24 hours, a very long and difficult delay period, which prevented any active discussion.
6. The end result was people were discouraged from posting at all, and even driven away from the site, because of all the monitoring and controlling, and it is a dead site now.
This site is also highly moderated, but it is better because:
1. Posts are created and appear in public right away.
2. Every post is monitored and controlled by a select group of power users, who screen every post.
3. Offensive posts are immediately deleted, but Non-Offensive posts are selectively edited to keep the power users happy. It is fast and effcient since no reason need be given at all for cutting out and editing of the "bad" posts.
4. This is great for the people in the select power group they can post whatever they want and delete whatever they don't like, they are in control.
5. It is not so great for those outside of the power group, in fact, at times it really sucks, and if you don't like it, you have no recourse but to go post some where else, Because any posts that question or complain about the monitoring or controlling of your "offending" post is also deleted.
6. The end result is that people are discouraged from posting at all, and even driven away from the site, because of all the monitoring and controlling, and the site is actually an exclusive club for those that are in the power group. Clearly they are all in agreement that being on the inside, life is great, and they do not want to change anything
So it is not really a surprise to see that all of the people who are in the power position are all in agreement that life here is good, and they are very happy with how things work, they are all on the good end of the stick, and there is no reason to change a thing.
For those that are outside the power group, however, they realize that they are the subject, and sometimes the target, of another that holds power over them, and life here is not as good, they are not as happy with how things work, they are all on the other end of the stick. And since things are not going to change for them, they end up leaving.
This is how things work here since 2008 when I started. Over time I "learned" to post less and less, and have seen many others leave this site, because the reality of being outside of the power group sinks in and they would rather go elsewhere.
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Mike, with all due respect, you are seeing ghosts where there are none.
Since the Robert era, your posts are not altered, deleted...all are intact as you authored.
Think it safe to say, if anything can be said, is that the members who choose to address
your concerns, have known you for many years, are sympathetic, care about you, but
understandably are telling you the site is not intended as a battle ground for internal strife.
If that is allowed, all the good & generous words & suggestions...you might as well throw
out the window. All is lost in our civilized little world as we know it.
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So it is not really a surprise to see that all of the people who are in the power position are all in agreement that life here is good, and they are very happy with how things work, they are all on the good end of the stick, and there is no reason to change a thing.
Mike, things are changing here. This is why I handed the site over to Robertt, because I recognized that I wasn't able to take this site in a new direction. I had gotten comfortable with how things were running, but also realized that the site needed improvement. I think Robertt is making changes, and is doing a great job of it. I don't think that you can say that there is no reason to change things, when in fact, things are changing. There are new mods, new sections, and most importantly in my opinion, a new captain guiding the ship.
For those that are outside the power group, however, they realize that they are the subject, and sometimes the target, of another that holds power over them, and life here is not as good, they are not as happy with how things work, they are all on the other end of the stick. And since things are not going to change for them, they end up leaving.
This is how things work here since 2008 when I started. Over time I "learned" to post less and less, and have seen many others leave this site, because the reality of being outside of the power group sinks in and they would rather go elsewhere.
I don't even know if there is a power group. Robertt makes all the decisions here. My title still says admin, but that is an honourary thing. Arnold and Rhonald are still mods. I don't remember either of them abusing any powers. I moderate a complete section, of which, I am the only one who has a personal direct interest in the Philippines. I tend to agree with JohnB in regards to seeing ghosts. The site is moving forward, and the ghosts of the past are not coming with is.
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Mike
I think it is clear that you are sill carrying on your personal crusade over your perception as to how badly you were treated in the past.
It seems that you are unable to remove this particular burr from under your saddle !!!
I dont know how healthy it is to hold on to such feelings, but you should know better than me that vengance does NOT belong to you....and did you also forget that your Christian ethic is built on the basis of forgiveness etc, etc. ???..."
Can you please put pen to paper here and specifically say what is on your mind, and more importantly, what YOU suggest as a way forward, without simply dragging up past horrors...real or perceived.
I am one of the "older" members of this Forum...both chronologically and intrinsically ;D ;D
I am certainly sure that I am NOT in the purple circle and I am struggling to remember when any post of mine got canned,,,,and you will recall that I got quite heated in the past over matters Religion...and I had several major spats with a Gentleman called Jim....(who was a mate of Abigbutt and who has just poked his head up over the trench wall again quite recently)...but nothing got canned by Mods as I recall.
I always regarded you as a font of knowlege and it is sad to see this continual sniping at past issues.
I have no idea what specifically has given you such a dose of indigestion, and I guess it is no longer important....unless you want to hang on to it for all time.....what an exercise in futility...I am sure you know that.
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So it is not really a surprise to see that all of the people who are in the power position are all in agreement that life here is good, and they are very happy with how things work, they are all on the good end of the stick, and there is no reason to change a thing.
Not to BUG you but I (spider) tingled when I kept seeing your fixation with the word "power"...."With great power comes great responsibility."
Since you were not privy to the messages between the Mods - NO - not all was seen by us to be good.
In fact, when I used my power of DELETE on some recent posts, I felt sick in my stomach and questioned my actions. I felt I was put into a spot that I did not feel comfortable with and didn't want to be in - it plainly Sucked.
With the POWER of the post, I checked the member posting list and see 11 people with posts of 1000 or greater. Of these, 5 are or were Mods. Six were not Mods before this month, 7 counting yourself, before you deleted so many of your own posts. Without being a member of the so called POWER group, did not your own actions cause a shifting of the balance?
Earlier this month, before you started your own MODERATING of your very own posts, I saw many good pictures and well written posts about your earlier trips to China. I would like to thank you for those wonderful gifts. But alas, with the POWER of delete, those usefull, & informative posts are now gone.
I remember before becoming a Mod, I got into a tit for tat argument with Willy. At that time, I never felt that I was being moderated. In fact, I ended up feeling so bad about our exchanges that I made a point of visiting Willy to mend fences! I totally had a great time with Willy and now have fond memories of that trip. You see, I originally read too much into Willy's posts at the time and my emotions clouded my judgment, making me see ghosts.
Please.....let it pass, the Ghosts of Christmas past.
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I am one of the "older" members of this Forum...both chronologically and intrinsically ;D ;D
So much so that both you & Willy I refer to as the .... ELDERS
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Since you were not privy to the messages between the Mods - NO - not all was seen by us to be good.
Even as a new Moderator of sorts I have no idea if there is a Power Area or 'private' area, where mods can/used to be able to discuss things privately, still exists or whether it was/is a figment of the imagination.
If it does exist then I have no idea where! But as far as I am concerned since the new regime took over I have never been consulted or had a discussion with any mod about any member. So maybe the days of the Power Group are gone.
Willy
Ronald, is that a subtle way of saying we are 'Old Gits' Ha Ha. (No smilies available for this reply) I prefer SWA, Sage With Age.
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Even as a new Moderator of sorts I have no idea if there is a Power Area or 'private' area, where mods can/used to be able to discuss things privately, still exists or whether it was/is a figment of the imagination.
If it does exist then I have no idea where! But as far as I am concerned since the new regime took over I have never been consulted or had a discussion with any mod about any member. So maybe the days of the Power Group are gone.
Willy
Willy most of the messages I received were from a very private area - but an area assessable to all - this so called secretive are is called the PM - private message.
Earlier on in the fireworks, besides PMs with Mods, I even exchanged PMs with Shaun - a non mod. Even though his message was not laced with fertile words, as some I had read, I could tell that he had been upset at what had happened. During this time, I received some other heavy laced messages that challenged me to remain calm. This occurred during the same time as dealing (suitable clue as to what kind of problem) with a major problem with my own teenage son.
With my response from yesterday, and noticing how later that night I was even more overly critical to bad drivers on the road, I theorized as to why this recent trend in not getting over it. My three following beliefs:
1) A person looking to pick a bone, just for the fun of it
2) A person never developing proper coping methods to distinguish the gray between Black & White
3) A person having to deal with some other major problem that cause over criticalness in other areas - ie: seeing ghosts
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Rhon I read your post and then went back and re-read the exchange between us. I'm not sure what you meant by fertile words. There were not any hostile exchanges between you and me.
I am ok with the site and hoping this new direction works well for everyone. I do have 2 issues with the site but I'll keep them to myself as it could possibly cause more problems and I can live with the two issue for now.
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I am one of the "older" members of this Forum...both chronologically and intrinsically ;D ;D
So much so that both you & Willy I refer to as the .... ELDERS
Willy....
I will leave it to you to deal a withering riposte to this young upstart.....possibly you might remind him that WE were busily engaged with life when he was getting his diapers changed...... ;D ;D
Now he is poking fun at us while we get OUR diapers changed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I guess Willy and David could be called progressives. When they first joined this site their main concern was where the could get their next case of Viagra. Now they worry about when they can get their next case of Depends.
Maybe Robert could put a thread called The Rest Home of the Geriatric Group for you guys. Dare I say you'd have to put your age to enter the thread.
;D ;D
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Now he is poking fun at us while we get OUR diapers changed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be serious David.
Are you trying to say that you actually get your Diaper CHANGED?? Note in my case it is a singular reference to diaper!
Still at our age we both know what these youngsters have to look forward to in the not to distant future.
Willy
For Shaun's eyes only - Three score and a dozen at next birthday.
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Hrrumph......
Damm Colonials...always knew they would give us trouble some day.
Ought to send Wellington with a Gunboat to give them all a damm good thrashing, dontcha-know....same as we did to that Frog character Napolean whatsname...soon taught him who was boss.
Need to pull down their trousers and spank them all on their bare bums..... :P :P :P
Gotta dash, time for a G&T at my club and a bit of jiggery with the downstairs maid...tootle pip old boy ;D ;D ;D ;
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The topic of discussion here is "Improvement Ideas"
Please stick to the topic and stop making personal comments directed at me. Thanks! 8)
BTW the attempt at gaslighting me was pretty funny, it must of been a joke, right?
look I am too stupid and too stuborn to get the hint, just ask my wife! :o
... even when my account was deleted I couldn't take the hint! ;)
To be clear, everytime I log into this site, and I post something on this board it is subject to the monitoring and the control of another. They are in the position of power, and my post is the subject of that power.
They can delete my post, or modify it anyway they like, even changing a word here or there. There is nothing I can do about that.
The only recourse is to take control of your posts, yourself. Once you post a message you can still edit it, or remove it.
I suggest that you keep a copy of your post in a safe place, so that you will not lose it. Of course you have no idea that the post was removed or changed by another unless you manually check it yourself.
That is the way it is, nothing you can do to help that. :-[
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To be clear, everytime I log into this site, and I post something on this board it is subject to the monitoring and the control of another. They are in the position of power, and my post is the subject of that power.
They can delete my post, or modify it anyway they like, even changing a word here or there. There is nothing I can do about that.
The only recourse is to take control of your posts, yourself. Once you post a message you can still edit it, or remove it.
I suggest that you keep a copy of your post in a safe place, so that you will not lose it. Of course you have no idea that the post was removed or changed by another unless you manually check it yourself.
That is the way it is, nothing you can do to help that. :-[
As I and others have said. Let us see what the new regime is going to be like.
I have definately never edited or removed any one else messages. Maybe because I am down for a hardly used section! Ha ha. Not many retirees on here.
I am not entirely clear as to how you see would like to see this forum working. Are you saying that when anyone posts anything then that post should never be amended or removed?
Willy
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All is weird on the seismograph as of late.
“...To be clear, everytime I log into this site, and I post something on this board it is
subject to the monitoring and the control of another. They are in the position of power,
and my post is the subject of that power...The only recourse is to take control of your
posts, yourself...”
Mike, you are one of the long time members here and as a courtesy...
maybe we should fashion your very own thread, like “Mike's Untouchable Way”, or
“Cultural Learnings of Mike for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of ChinaRomance”...
something you are comfortable with. And, you can be your own monitor if Robert
would be up to it. Then you can channel all your energies (instead of the shotgun approach)
into doing something for the betterment of our website. You will have the position of power!
Promote whatever! Or Slash & Burn. Mike's way or the highway.
Like at this moment, a few of your posts are running contrary and strange to what your
kind brothers are thinking/ suggesting you to do. Their patience is precious... but there are
clouds of uncertainty that permeates this site nowadays and your own thread may help us
get a better understanding of ours and yours situation.
It should be interesting.
Only just a suggestion I write in all honesty.
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Willy's opening salvo--
“I think Gerry is right in one way, the site needs to be more active. Blogs are a good way as long as they
are updated regularly. The major search engines love finding updated items. Going back to Facebook and
utilising what is there is another and also Twitter.”
In my opinion, too much inbreeding the past few years. Little tidbits of disinterest. Little excitement to feed the
imagination. Things have been moribund except for Mike, the “Interesting”.
As I & others have indicated, maybe it is time to seriously consider adding blogs to our website. Something of current
substance, controversial or otherwise (boring). But then again, all will be interesting in the reads. Maybe a few things to
pick up on to help the members & lurkers safely navigate the murky waters of Asian relationships. A few things to post about.
I mean, our latest new member, “Tester”, 2 1/2 weeks ago, might want to interject his wit & knowledge of all things Asian beauty.
I had to write that.
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Rhon I read your post and then went back and re-read the exchange between us. I'm not sure what you meant by fertile words. There were not any hostile exchanges between you and me.
I am ok with the site and hoping this new direction works well for everyone. I do have 2 issues with the site but I'll keep them to myself as it could possibly cause more problems and I can live with the two issue for now.
Shaun you are correct. Sorry but my use of "FERTILE" was in regards to other messages I received. I could tell you were upset, even with using your civil tone. Some other messages I received from others used a more direct worded approach. In the heat of the moment, I am use to and expect cursive words. But it doesn't mean that I enjoy those kind of messages - just that I understand how powerfull emotions can be and how it can influence bad choices (not just in word usage).
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The topic of discussion here is "Improvement Ideas"
To be clear, everytime I log into this site, and I post something on this board it is subject to the monitoring and the control of another. They are in the position of power, and my post is the subject of that power.
That is the way it is, nothing you can do to help that. :-[
You are absolutely correct!
This is a free site, there is no fee to you to come to this site to post. If you were a paying member, then this would entitle you to the power that any customer has over its business practice. I have a city park very near my home (except for the taxes I pay to the government) I can enjoy this park free of charge. Yet at times, city officials have the power to tell me to behave in a certain way, they are in the postion of power and I am subject to that power. The park is not to be used after midnight - although no gates or fences are present to bar me. Sometimes I am excluded from the park as it is booked for private functions.
What I don't like with commenting to you is that your perception of me as a person of power - being a Mod, is that you will not take to light the validity of my argument. Yet even if I wasn't a Mod, I would most likely have had a similar response.
And as I understand you main gripe, is that you think none of your posts should ever be altered, deleted, or moved by anyone but yourself - is that correct? Do you wish all members to share equally in this balance of power?
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And as I understand you main gripe, is that you think none of your posts should ever be altered, deleted, or moved by anyone but yourself - is that correct? Do you wish all members to share equally in this balance of power?
No, that is not my gripe, I am aware just as everyone here is aware that posts that violate the site's policy will be deleted, my "gripe" is that posts are being deleted simply because the mod does not agree with the post, or dislikes the person who is posting.
and not because it really is a violation of policy.
so talking about what is wrong is not helping much, everyone keeps asking for another way to do it better.
So I guess an example is needed:
Suppose someone posted this:
====
I have been dealing with this issue for a long time it is not a recent event only,
and it has built up over time until the lid has blown off
It is hard to prove that posts have been deleted, because once they are gone I cannot point to them anymore.
What I can do, is point to places where the issue was broken the surface before
such as here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3802.msg65150.html#msg65150
and here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3758.msg64392.html#msg64392
and here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3758.msg64384.html#msg64384
As I said this is not a recent thing, it has been on going
===
currently the mod reads this post, and finds it unacceptable, and deletes it
so ...
What would be better?
well it would be a lot better if the mod were to copy the offending post into a PM to the poster, and then add a comment such as:
user: please do not post messages that violate the website posting policy for your reference the policy is here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3943.msg66983/topicseen.html#msg66983
and in particular this post is in violation of this part:
"false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, "
please revise your post to meet our policy and repost it when it is not in violation
thank you,
A Concerned Mod
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my "gripe" is that posts are being deleted simply because the mod does not agree with the post, or dislikes the person who is posting.
and not because it really is a violation of policy.
so talking about what is wrong is not helping much, everyone keeps asking for another way to do it better.
So I guess an example is needed:
Suppose someone posted this:
====
I have been dealing with this issue for a long time it is not a recent event only,
and it has built up over time until the lid has blown off
It is hard to prove that posts have been deleted, because once they are gone I cannot point to them anymore.
What I can do, is point to places where the issue was broken the surface before
such as here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3802.msg65150.html#msg65150
and here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3758.msg64392.html#msg64392
and here:
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3758.msg64384.html#msg64384
As I said this is not a recent thing, it has been on going
===
currently the mod reads this post, and finds it unacceptable, and deletes it
Mike - I have highlighted IN BOLD twice your words "THE MOD"
In the first instance, the referred to Mod is no longer a mod.
The second referred to Mod would be me. But I also had explained in the post around that time, my reasons for deleting. I also apologized for my actions at that time. Just recently, I also explained I was dealing with to me, a more pressing issue with my son, than the in fighting that was happening here. I did not need nor wanted the distraction. My reason for bringing this up - a little returned consideration would have been appreciated.
I can see your point about a Mod cutting and pasting any questionable postings and PMing the individual. I hope this is and was a standard practice. I have only done it once myself. Most of the times posts I have outright deleted - and with no PMing the offender - was just a new member posting of direct links to advertisments - nothing more.
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I agree with one thing and that is if a persons post is temporarily removed because it goes against both the letter and the spirit of the forum then that person should be informed by PM and they should be asked to revise and resend it.
As far as I know I have only had one posting deleted by a moderator and I DID receive a PM telling me why. On reflection, on that occasion, then maybe I would not have said what I did say which was in the heat of the moment.
But if these circumstances do arise then the sender must either accept the decision of the moderator or conduct any complaints in PRIVATE and not on the open forum where messages could be arbitrarily deleted . If the two cannot come to an concensus then both sides should put their argument to the head honcho, Robertt, and his decision must be final.
Rhonald has made a public apology and given a reason why the circumstances arose on the one occasion he did what he did. As far as I read into these things then the other said to be involved is no longer a Moderator.
Can we not sit back now, relax and see just how things pan out in the future under the new regime.
Willy
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I agree with one thing and that is if a persons post is temporarily removed because it goes against both the letter and the spirit of the forum then that person should be informed by PM and they should be asked to revise and resend it.
As far as I know I have only had one posting deleted by a moderator and I DID receive a PM telling me why. On reflection, on that occasion, then maybe I would not have said what I did say which was in the heat of the moment.
But if these circumstances do arise then the sender must either accept the decision of the moderator or conduct any complaints in PRIVATE and not on the open forum where messages could be arbitrarily deleted . If the two cannot come to an concensus then both sides should put their argument to the head honcho, Robertt, and his decision must be final.
Rhonald has made a public apology and given a reason why the circumstances arose on the one occasion he did what he did. As far as I read into these things then the other said to be involved is no longer a Moderator.
Can we not sit back now, relax and see just how things pan out in the future under the new regime.
Willy
Well Willy,
Lucky for you that you were never a target, but for me I have had too many posts deleted or modified to keep count of,
and I have only ever received a PM about 1 of them, long ago.
I was asked to give suggestions for how to IMPROVE the site which is the title of this thread "Improvement Ideas"
The best way I could do that, was to provide an example, how it was handled, and how I think the process should be improved.
The reaction is to attack the example, and not talk about the "Improvement" to the process.... how does that help?
Why did I pick that example?
Well it was the only one I could reproduce .... it is hard to come up with posts that have been deleted, and are now erased.
for the future, I am keeping a private copy of all my posts, so that I do not lose them ;)
As far as Ron pointing out which mod did what ... it does not make any difference to me, I see all mods as the same thing ...
a nameless person who has power and control over my posts. and when they delete my posts, and do not PM me
it feels very impersonal, and hurtful, and is in fact censorship.
So now that I have fully explained how I think an offensive post should be handled by the powers that be,
I would like to see other ideas from the rest of you?
How do you think it should be handled? How would you like to be treated if a MOD decided to delete your post?
I am listening
:-\
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come to think it...now that it has resurfaced,
http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3914.msg66987.html#msg66987
re: Mike's http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3802.msg65150.html#msg65150
re: JohnB's http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3802.msg65137.html#msg65137
I saw that long ago. Ron censored a 'hacked' posting of mine.."By this, I would say forego your congressman,...".
That was a clumsy transition. Personally I hate Congress with a passion and I doubt if I was thinking a Congressman when I
penned that post.
I didn't get heartburn. It was kind of a funny departure from the reality of my keystroke.
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As I have given my thoughts on how matters could be improved then I will not go over them again.
I have already agreed with you that a person who has a post deleted should receive a PM. As I said I have not had any reason to consider amending or deleting a post but if the occasion does arise I would contact the person as I stated.
What I will ask is - How many of your posts were deleted by persons still moderators on this Forum?
What I am concerned with is that you see all mods as the same. A nameless person who has power and control over what you post! It strikes me as a 'all cops are bad cops' syndrome and I suffered that for many years! But I am sure that this was not your intention to make it sound like you were anti authoritarian.
Any Mod is not able to amend or delete a posting, just the ones listed as such on each subject. So if someone has a post deleted with no explanation then that person who feels aggrieved can make contact directly with the named mods in the first instance then Robertt if no concensus results from the earlier contacts.
I am sure that this will no longer be necessary but the suggestion is there.
Willy
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Mike, Your opinion and complaint have been duly noted. As you can see I have posted and pinned the guidelines and policies in the Newbie section. These are the guidelines that will be used in the future for moderation, you will also note that these are the same guidelines we always had and that I just high-lighted some of the actions that could result in moderation or banning. You will also notice that there are 2 different levels of posts 1) Those that fit into the black category and 2) those that fall into the red category. You will also notice that those categories have to 2 different levels of moderation, the black category has little or no leniency in regards to post content and the red category allows the moderators some leniency in their actions if the posts are reported. That being said, just because the posts fall into the red category does not mean good taste and common sense go out the window. Like Rhonald said earlier any posts that are edited or deleted by mods will also generate a pm from the editing mod listing what material was removed and why. Almost everyone here knows your posts were deleted and that you are upset about it, since that event happened many things have transpired here and hopefully the site will continue the path that will ensure this forum and it's wealth of information is around for future use by those who decide to follow the path that we followed in years past. Hopefully these changes and guidelines will address your issues so we can get back to what we do best and maybe share a laugh or two along the way. Since I see no use in beating this horse anymore I am locking this thread and please do not restart it elsewhere. Robert