China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: Josh Markley on July 12, 2009, 09:50:25 pm
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Hey guys started my Blog. I hope you guys can follow it while I am on my trip. http://joshchinaadventure.blogspot.com/ ill leave the 15th and be in beijing on the 17th.
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Jo-Mo , so what are you doing between the 15th and the 17th ? If I may ask ???
Hey you never told us if you like your new Nick-name ?
Have a wonderful Flight and I will for sure check out your Towel ( I mean Blog ) .
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Thanks Rev. Mike I appreciate the support.
MiFeng- Jo ma towel works great lol. it all goes together in an odd way. Well from 4:30pm to 11:30pm ill be chillin at lax. and i guess the way the flight is ill be in the air during the 16th. Its a good question that i dont have a good answer for. man should have called it my towel lol
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Jo-Ma , you know on Wed . after my Work , I could run down to LAX ( Delta Term. ) and I could meet you for a Beer before your Flight out . I wouldn't mind , it's in the wrong direction of where I live , but not that far off . I would say about 8:00 PM at the Delta Counter for the Seoul Flight , before going through Security .
Also , take note ... when you come to Seoul's Airport , go to where all the Shops are ( where People walk to their certain Gate's ) , across where Gate's 40 to 43 start , upstair's there is a Coffee Shop and next to that is a Internet Station you can use the Computer's for free ( 5 or 6 of them ) great to wire a note to your Girl or the Family back home . Unless your bringing a Laptop with you .
I seem to have trouble attaching a Photo of the Shirt I will wear . It,s a Navy Blue T-shirt with a BEE and a FLOWER and chinese character's on it . Should be easy to spot .
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Arnold that would be great. I would enjoy drinking a beer with you. I will actually be at the Korean Air term.
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Hi Jo Mo ;)
nice to see that you already did a blog.
Just a comment, in fact.
Black and red.. well.. I think the "red" color is maybe not good, because we don't really see "clearly" all with that color.
that's just my opinion, for sure.
However, I will enjoy reading your trip ^^
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Have a great trip Josh , I for 1 will be looking forward to reading your Blog .
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Arnold that would be great. I would enjoy drinking a beer with you. I will actually be at the Korean Air term.
Jo-Ma , well I will see you there . But better make that two Beer's :icon_cheesygrin:
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Glad to see things working out for you and your lady. Enjoy this beautiful and I'm sure you'll make the most of it. Congrats Josh you deserve it man. Keep us posted also on this forum. Take care brother.
China Shark Mike
country sorry.
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Ill change the font color, no problem any suggestions? Two Beers it is MiFeng (I feel odd calling you that knowing what it means LOL). Robert, Shark thanks guys i plan to write a couple times a day. And Ill still post here as well. Im stoked!!!!
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Go Josh, hope you have a blast...
Congrats brother..:icon_biggrin:
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Thanks Scottish. I hope it is everything i dreamed of and more.
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Josh...not sure if this was mentioned..but you may not be able to post to your blog while in China. You can thank the Great Firewall of China. Maybe you can give your username and password to someone at your end of the world, and send them email's to post. This is the method that Chong uses.
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awww your kidding? Even on my own laptop? Man that is crazy. So i can send an email from china but cant post on my blog... Can I post on her? Will I be able to post on my facebook?
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Oh yeah I just found out Mom is making dumplings for lunch when Le and I arrive in Baoding.
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Josh your in trouble now, you mentioned the 'D' word arnold and Martin will be getting on to you about giving them some oh and Ronan....LOL :angel:
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Oh yeah Scottish I have read their post, trying to see if I can get a rise out of them. also from reading there post I am so stoked about my first encounter with the dumpling. Heck who know I may of come u with my own new nickname Dumpling Josh, haha
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Hi Josh,
All the best to you on your trip, and meeting your girl. I will be following your blog, so keep it going.
all the best from downunder.
Alan ( nad)
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I do not know about facebook right now. I know it apparently was blocked last week with everything going on in Urumqi. Blogs have been blocked since the beginning of June. We are all hoping that things will get unblocked.
To answer your question, yes, this means it will be blocked from your own laptop as well. There is a way around it...if you know anything about setting up a Virtual Private Network. Personally, i do not know anything about how to do this.
Sending out email is still available..so if you know someone at home that can do this for you, it is am option.
Sorry to be the one to break the bad news...but better to find out now, than when you get over there. My wife enjoys following my blog, and has not been able to access for quite some time.
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http://www.freetravelblog.com/cgi-bin/new_user1.pl?gclid=CMbvxKHWx5sCFdMtpAodmG18Jw
Josh,
This blog site works in China. Only thing is that loading photos take a long time or maybe I didn't do it right. Like Martin wroted ... try to set up a VPN on your computer before you go.
Have a fun & great trip.
Chong
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You could use logmein.com - it was free for home users last time i used it and would get the job done.
Or you could use Tor on your laptop ..google it...
Or just use a blogsite thats not blocked over there!
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Reverend Mike...great post. I tried it out from home, and it works...at least with text...I have not tried a picture. I will certainly give this a go, as well as some of the options Irish has pointed out. I know this wasn't my thread, but thanks for the help.
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Martin,
Since you know my password. Can you reconfigure it for me in the settings ?
How does it work ???
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Irish,
I tried LogMeIn just with the "Remote Control" Feature, but it didn't work. Was that the right one to choose ?
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Ooo ooo I want a Blog.....LOL:icon_biggrin:
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Well fellas I have made to legs of my trip i have two more. Sitting at lax. The international departure terminal is a hole. Oh yeah my flights have been a bear so far. What is with rude people?
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my best wishes to you on a safe and adventure fill journey....natch,
with a fairy tale ending. looking forward to reading your updates.
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Josh,
I have followed your story from the very first and now its happening. Wasnt worth the effort? I am so happy for you buddy. Hope while you are eating your haus made Dumplings take a second and think about us all who are still along the way.
Bring us your daily happy and encouraging news and dream your dream with your dream.
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As I have mentioned , Jo-Ma and myself met at the LAX Airport yesterday . I was there about 19:45 and started looking at the Korean Air Counter , because he had to come there to check in and get his Boarding Pass ( NOT Baoding Pass ) .:icon_cheesygrin:
I finally saw him about close to 21:00 , recognized him by his Tattoo's on the Arms . After he was done with the counter and checking in his Bag , we went upstairs for some Cold ones and sit down to talk about ... well whatever came to mind . I really felt in his place , as I remember my first Trip so well . It was great to meet my first Brotherhood member and actually had some time to spend with him . What else I know , he has a loooong flight and many hour's of layover time in Seoul . It is not an easy Trip for him for sure , from Kansas City to Minnasota to LA to Seoul to Bejing and a ride to Boading . On top of that , one of his Suitcases did not make it to LAX , and they send it back to his Home . But , I think he is ready to have a great time in China and with his Xu-le and her Family . Can't wait for his first Blog Post .
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Nice pic. But Arnold is that an oyster watch your wearing? Gezzz
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Heck NO , that my Fasil watch , that changes color's and alway's goes by what my Shirt color is , as you can tell .
What the Heck is an Oyster Watch anyway ?
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Hello from Beijing my friends. The trip was long but way worth it. I will explain more details when i return back to the hotel this evening. I do have to tell you I was a nervous wreck when I landed in Beijing. After going through procedures I grabbed my bag got ripped off getting cash and walked out the exit. As I was walking out I heard someone running and yelling. I turned around and there she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Xu Le is incredibly stunning. She gave me a hug and a kiss. Very nice. Took a bus and cab to the hotel and she insisted I take a nap since I was unable to sleep at all.
Mifeng- Thanks for uploading the pic and giving the guys the 411. Unfortunately this is the first time I hae been able to use the pc. Oh and forgot my connector for my camera to my pc so have to buy one. Thanks again for the beers, I certainly enjoyed meeting someone who has went through what I am going through now.
Hey if any of you guys know how to swith my keyboard over to chinese it would help I t tried with failure. This will be the easiest way for Xu Le and I to communcate while Wang bing is not with us. Tonight Birdsnest Pizza and Beer.
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Way to go josh have a really nice time mate.
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Totally envious of you mate.........You have a great time there, and tell your beautiful lady the brotherhood was asking after her:icon_cheesygrin:
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As I was walking out I heard someone running and yelling. I turned around and there she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Xu Le is incredibly stunning. She gave me a hug and a kiss.
I bet it was a POWER hug :icon_cheesygrin: being that your a weight trainer. Yes the Power hug is superior for heart conditioning then the Shrug. Have a great trip and don't forget to work on your cardio :heart:
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It was def a power hug. haha. Well I think the oly cardio I am getting on this trip is the great wall. haha. it is that time of the month.
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It was def a power hug. haha. Well I think the oly cardio I am getting on this trip is the great wall. haha. it is that time of the month.
Heck , I know that will not keep you from having a great time with your Xu-Le . Enjoy each moment like we did at LAX . Hahaha
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It was def a power hug. haha. Well I think the oly cardio I am getting on this trip is the great wall. haha. it is that time of the month.
Heck , I know that will not keep you from having a great time with your Xu-Le . Enjoy each moment like we did at LAX . Hahaha
I have enjoyed every moment for sure. Oh no it wont keep me from having fun with her. Spooning was wonderful haha. It not what I came for so I am not missing anything.
Had KFC this morning for breakfast, not to bad. haha coffee was decent after you drowned it in creamer and sugar. I have seen many foreigners but none as big as me and none with tattoss like mine. I have been getting alot of attention. Pretty cool.
Oh and if you any smart guys out the rev mike, Irish, vince if you guys know how to change the lanuage on my pcit would be nice. haha
Today climbing the great wall and back to olympic city to get better pictures.
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know how to change the lanuage on my pc it would be nice
Go to control panel select regional / language options, on the regional tab select English
Control Panel - ????
regional/ language options - ?? / ????
English - ??
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Thanks vince I got it. that has been a big help.
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Hey guys I finally sent an entry to my blog from my e-mail if one of you will let me know if it posted.
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The same for me.
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Guy's , I just posted Jo-Ma's update to his Blog . I also will post it here for the ones not able to see his Blog . You Guy's are soooo impatiened .
Hello everyone it is time to get caught up. Well I am really not sure where to start today. I will tell you a little about my flights. From Kansas City to The Twin Cities I flew Northwest. The flight was short and easy. The Flight from the Twin cities to Los Angeles is another story. I sat in row 22 the last row in this particular aircraft, In fron tof me sat a large man. I thought the last row was very uncomfortable in the first place. Then this guy 400 lbs. leans his seat back and it went at least an extra four inches. The guy was on my knees for three hours. It was the worst. Lax airport is a hole. I walked out of the domestic terminal and walk what felt like three blocks to the international terminal. When I walked in I thought I was going to see chickens and other barnyard animals running around like a third world country. No kidding! The Flight to Seoul S. Korea was very rough and not very enjoyable. About the fourth hour there was an emergency. The girl Comes over the intercom and announces that if there is any medical personel to come forward to help. I had my EMT training So I decided to try to help. The some of the girls on Korean air speak decent english so it helped. The girl I helped was suffering from dehydration. No medical equipment on board for that situation. So we got her to wear she was feeling better. Big deal for the first international flight. I was unable to sleep throught the 15 hour flight. I guess I am not a good traveler. By the way the girls of korean Air are all beautiful. I watched a few movies non in english haha. Listened to the ipod in english. So landed in Seoul 4am in the morning on the 17th. I lost a whole day of my life, crazy. The Seoul International airport is beautiful. It really is amazing. While I was in Seoul had a Korean coke, and a snickers bar. Not as good as home. So my flight left at 9:30 am, did I mention the beautiful girls of Korean Air. Landed In Beijing at 10:30 am on the 17th It was rainy and foggy. I was really worried about my breathing. So we had to fill out a health declaration to the country no big deal I dont have the N1H1 haha. Well I went and retrieved my luggage minus one that was lost @ Kansas City. No matter I was happy I was in China. I am only a few feet away from my woman. Got some money at the airport and got raped there. So I finally made it to my exit. The way they have it set up you walked out the door and turn right. I was looking to my left looking for Xu Le but I dont see her. So I keep walking and I here this familiar voice laughing and yelling. I turn around and there she was so beautiful she ran up and gave me a big hug and kiss. It was amazing to see her. I am happy I am here and it was well worth the wait. I do have pictures but I forgot my cord grrr. JOSH
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Well PLEASED for you mate...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Great stuff Josh, sounds like an eventful trip already and you are just getting started!. Cant wait for the further updates.
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Sorry guys since I have arrived in baoding I have had no internet. Some reason Xu Le internet will not hook up to my pc. All is well here. Went to the mall and the Lotus Gardens It was very impressive. Gonna add a couple of pics I dont have time to change the size so if you wanna give it a crack vince.
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Jo-Ma, great photos, the two of you look happy and make a great couple, good luck and best wishs brother, by the way, is that key around her neck the key to your heart? LOL
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Nice one josh you two look like your made for each other you can tell she really likes you josh you old dog oops young dog hehe well happy for you mate.
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I have to agree I see happiness there. Enjoy
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Oh yeah , I can verify that this is Jo-Ma holding on to Xu-Le .
Great Photo's of a happy couple enjoying ones company . MM , no that is the Key to Her heart , to get to Jo-Ma's heart you need a bigger Key .:icon_cheesygrin:
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Way to go Josh, shes a keeper!
Like the Irish T-shirt, do you have Irish heritage from the past? Where are they from? (sorry as a paddy i am interested in this!)
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Josh I have a question.How does a ugly guy like you.Find such a beautiful wome? Did she feel sorry for you or what?Is it the stray dog syndrom? She felt sorry for you and took you home?
Josh I'm just busting on you.She is Beautiful.And you to do look like a happy couple.Good job and have a good trip.
Maxx
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Josh I have a question.How does a ugly guy like you.Find such a beautiful wome? Did she feel sorry for you or what?Is it the stray dog syndrom? She felt sorry for you and took you home?
Maxx
WOW Maxx...have you actually looked in the mirror lately? HAHAHAHA
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Your in the same boat as Josh is.You must of hit every branch in the ugly tree when you fell out of it.Zhifang told me the other day that you are so ugly.That no one would marry you.So she felt sorry for you and married your losser ass.She told me that she has to cry herself to sleep every night.Because she didn't marry someone as handsome as me.Instead she married somebody that looks like Uncle Fester off of the Adams family.HAHAHAHAHAHA
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Now now Maxx , we all know Zhifang married Martin for his Toronto Dumpling's they serve at Table 10 each night .
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LOL, damn....you guys are harsh! i'm going to continue lurking when-
ever I can.
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Hey Maxx...did you not read what Tim Yip said? Let me refresh your old feeble memory...
Do not think you are handsome, it is just Chinese polite formula.
Obviously he was talking about you!
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Ah it is alright guys I'm just hacking on my favorite Janadian.Martin started about 1 year after I did so we have known each other for a while.We talk on the phone at least twice a month.It is all in good fun.
If you can't hack on the Janadians life would be alot less fun.You know in there hearts of hearts.They all really want to be Americans.
In Martins case he is really to ugly to be a American.They have Martins picture hanging on the wall in all the Agencies.With the warning to the ladies.It says eather listen to your translater our you end up with a boyfriend who looks like this.Now you know why the ladies listen to there translaters.
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With friends like the maxxinator who needs enemies haha :icon_cheesygrin:
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From Kansas City to Boading, have enjoyed your story. Have family near KC so get there from time to time. Will conintue to follow your adventure. Stay happy.
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Jo-Ma...when is the next update? Hurry up, cause Maxx is getting disillusion again. Time to take your meds Maxx.
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Yes he keeps taking his compliments to the Max
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Well guys I am back in Beijing. The week in Baoding has flew by. I will start off by saying the way of living was something that I had to adjust to. Nothing bad in anyway, the families home was the size of my apartment back at home. All of Xu Le's family lived in the same community. I met all of them sporadically through the days. When I first arrived to Baoding Xu Le's mother was waiting for us wth a translator. I believe the translator was a friend of the family. From the train station to the family home the girls talked and laughed.(which was alot) I tried to adjust to the change in the air.(which didnt happen the whole time I was in Baoding.) When we arrived at the home Xu Le's father and his mothers brother and sister were at the home working on the most amazing thing i have ever eatin. The chinese dumplings were amazing. Anyhow I put my luggage away and came out for the meet and greet and rolled up my sleeves and went to work helping with the dumplings.(didnt really have sleeves on it was to damn hot for that shit.) At dinner I found out my girl is a half blood that is what the translator said. Xu Le's father is Japanese. So my future children will be Irish, German, Chinese, Japanese. Hey Maxx I guess the whole family and all the friends said i was a good looking guy. They must have all gotten together to make sure i felt good about myself. HaHa. Well we finnished up lunch and discussed Xu Le's and my future together. They had already excepted that i was a nice guy and i would protect Xu Le, and the tattoos were no longer a problem they wanted to know if I was going to be able to financially secure her future. Man that is a tough subect to discuss when the United States has no idea what direction it is going in. I did my best to explain and my best was acceptable. Now they want to know when I am coming back. I hope I will be able to return in a few months. Xu Le's mother was prety funny she grabbed Xu Le's book she has been trying to learn english from and would point to what she wanted to say. The first thing she pointed to was "I feel safe around you" I thought this was a very sweet compliment. The rest of the time I was in baoding she would make comments about my size to her friends and family. It was funny. Xu Le likes that I am a big guy but would love my stomach to be alt smaller. So when I get home ill diet and hit cardio a little more than I do now. Oh yeah and the cardio here is the best haha:icon_evil: Her favorite western superstar is David Beckham. But Ill never be a David Beckham Ijust dont have the accent. lol. If she wants me to have a six pack ill have a six pack on my next visit. Xu Le's father loves to drink, but it never leaves the dinner table. I drank alot of beer whle I ws there but never enough at one sitting to get a buzz. Whats the point? lol. The few things that happened that I am still trying to figure out. Everyday had a time table. Wake up, take a walk around the square, sit and visit or watch tv, eat lunch, take a nap, visit friends or go out, eat dinner, shower, visit, go to bed. It wasnt a bad deal, I am not a nap taker so i would lay in bed awake. Xu Le would spend alot of time online with friends while I was sitting alone. I was pretty upset about this, so i finally said something, she said she was talking to friends about me. I said okay and expressed that she doesnt talk to me as much as she talks to them and we only have a limited amout of time together, when I leave your friends will still be here in china down the street. I think she understood. But there have been alot of ups and downs. All f which I think would have been avoided if either one of us could speak to each other. Okaygotta runn fill you in later.
oh and Irish, I am fourth generation on one side of my family and sixth generation on the other side. I have not been able to locate my where my fathers side is from yet. But I have with my mothers.
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Josh I love your story and your WOW. Becham accent - a little girly if you ask me. Great job:icon_cheesygrin:
Oh and when you say next time your bringing back a six pack - is that beer (pea joe) or abs :icon_cheesygrin:
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haha yeah no english accent here. No Beckham, im not that damn ugly lol. Ill have to bring back both one six pack for her father and one for her lol.
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Hey Jo-Ma , I'm glad you had a good time and got to meet all of the Family . You have done all the hard work now , next time it will be more Fun for both of you . But ... inbetween is going to be the " Waiting Period " that you will learn first hand is not very nice .
Love the Photo's , did Xu-Le do the Tongue thing ... that drives you crazy ? Have a good flight back home and remember there is alway's a next time , right .
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oh yeah Mifeng she does it all the time. When she is happy and when she is feeling shy about something. She feels shy about alot of things. She is so damn cute though. I gues the next couple of days we are gonna stay near the hotel and not do muh but be with each other. We did just get back from doing some shopping. They had a major league shop at the mall and of course no kansas city royals gear. Only the east and west coast. I wanted to get her father a hat. I will just send her back with some liquor. So I guess when I get home I am filling for a fiancee visa. While I am here we will go over to the U.S embassy and get some info on a tourist visa while we wait for the fiancee visa to be processed. While I was at the zoo we met another beautiful chinese woman that married an american she spoke very good english. She said she recieved a tourist visa and came to visit her man while waiting for her visa. So we are gonna try this. I know it is going to be a long hard wait but every minute will be worth it when we are together forever. The longer I am here the more I want to stay. I have fallen hard and dont want to leave her. Monday will be rough.
a couple of pics of the tongue. haha! I love it!
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Josh the tongue like that must mean something? I've seen it in several (asian) photos.
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Josh glad to hear its working out for you.The wateing is the hardest part.Don't think about it till your back in the states.
Good luck getting the tourist visa for your lady.It can be pretty tough.Youl lady is going to need a lot of stuff.To prove that she will return to China.And wate for the fiancee visa.
After you get back to the states send m a PM and I can go through some of the stuff.SHe will need.
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Josh, sorry I am a little late! But I am still digging my way to China, hehe.
Xu Le is a very beautiful lady and you guys look very happy together. It is very nice to see that are happening positive things. Good luck to you guys! I wish you happiness!
BTW: Did you tell Xu Le about the beautiful Koreans stewardesses? :icon_cheesygrin:
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Awsome stuff Josh, the photos are full of fun and energy, looks like you two are having a great time.
Regarding the cardio, Chinese girls dig skinny men there's no way around that. My Ling called me "too fat" and was surprised i was offended!!, telling someone over there that they are overweight is not insulting, its just a statement of fact.
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Jo-Ma , those are some great Photo's , thanks for sharing . Xu-Le's photo looks really sexy , but your's ???? :s
Irish , from the photo's I have seen of you ... you look GOOD in my Eyes .
Hajo , what's taking you so long ? Using a tea spoon to dig ?
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regading the issue of me losing weight, I never found insulting as she has no undersatanding of how a bodybuilder lives a life. So i just agreed to do it. She will in the long run understand that fat has to be added to the body to gain the muscle desired. Tonight we had drinks with some of Xu Le's friends. One of her friends is english speaking and lived 9years in new york city. A good guy and explained to Xu lethat if i lost my weight I will still be a big man. So I thinks she gets the idea now. I hope. I will never be skinny, because I dont want to. My idols growing up were arnold and lou. You know the terminator and the original hulk. i will lose my beer belly ill give her that.
Hajo, better late than never thanks man. You have been there for me since day one so again appreciate your comments.
Tea spoon must be using a butter knife.
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Hey you guys lay off Hajo it is a hell of a job.To dig your way to China with a butter knife.I think it would still be a big job if he was using a Backhoe.
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Mifeng thank god im not sexy to you haha
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Hahaha , could you imagine us having to tell our sweetheart's , if that was the case . :blush::blush:
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i cant even fathom the imagination of thinking about this scenerio or actually telling anyone. Sorry, hahahahaha....
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Arnold, I have been there almost. But I think I ended underneath the Chinese Wall. As you know this bloody wall stops everything. Now I decided to take the plane to Urumqi on friday :icon_cheesygrin: Might be faster, hehe!
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You need some of that chinese dynomite . Haha
One more week for you Hajo , no need to tell you how excited you must be . With some People's Trip's coming up , one can not wait to hear their Story . Because it reflexes my own first Trip . So naturally I want them to turn out the same as mine , successful .
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Awww I was waiting so long to see Hajo dig his way to almost there before I would remind him, he forgot the paperwork? :icon_confused:
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Haha , Hajo can take all the paperwork that needs to be done , make copy's and use them to fill the Hole back up later , very little sand needed then to finish the Job .
Sorry Jo-Ma , don't mean to get too far of your Thread . Some important things just need to be shared ... here , now , wherever .
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I will never be skinny, because I dont want to. i will lose my beer belly ill give her that.
What!!...it takes years of dedication to build your Miller muscle. So now your gonna throw one six pack away just to get another.
And yes its good we arent attracted to each other as reference to this commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfr7fBp_dG4
Here's a Tui beer comercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzAxWWL4wZA
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Hahaha , I could see Qing getting a Job at that Brewery , but not after seeing those Men . Men do just about anything for a Cold One ?
Great stuff ... burpp ... Rhonald .
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ROFLMAO Rhonald! Very funny!
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hello gents I have made it to Los Angeles and I am pretty much stranded here. Trying to find a decent priced flight is nearly impossible. So I have no idea when ill make it home. No matter though if I am not with Xu Le I am not going to be happy. I miss her so much right now, and I cried like a baby when I had to leave her standing at the terminal gate. I sat watching the airport crew get the plane I was leaving on ready. I thought about when I got off the plane and she came running to me. I started crying like no other. So i amjust super heart broken.
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WOW Josh...I can so relate with that! Same thing happened to me. Leaving is not the easy part of what we do.
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I now know how you guys who have left your women behind it is a feeling of sadness and hoplessness
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Hey Jo-Ma , I feel for your Pain . It's a good Pain though , to know it went all the way you have hoped it would . So , there are going to be many day's coming up , it might even get worse . So you talk to her what ever way it is possible , think of what you have gained from this Trip ? It's not Pain . it's actually Happiness . So do as Irish and myself do for that , have a Beer or a glass of Wine , kick back and day dream or cry whichever comes first ? If you think it is hard now ... wait when it's for the second or third time , leaving her behind . This is a big price we all have to pay , for nothing other than great Love in return .
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Yes Josh the pain is real. And you though body piercing hurt!...welcome to our pain. I am missing my wife so much that we are now planning on having our official wedding on October 20th. This will make it 5 months since last I was with her. If we hear from the visa office, then we will rearrange the wedding ceremony, but if no news, I will return around October 14th. We are married already by registering our marriage in February, but this will be the actual Chinese ceremony. I will take Martin's advise and we will tape our wedding. So like you, I am starting my cardio inorder to be trained for my wedding night.
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I feel you guys, but I will learn and gather strength from you guys. Since you guys are going through what I will be here soon. No If I can only get home to kansas city. Grr spent way to much money there.
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Now you know why we created this group...it gives us something to do to pass the time while we wait to see our women. Why go back to KC? You can probably get a job at the local VW garage. Need a new worker Arnold?
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Yes I am happy that this is here now. At first I really enjoyed reading whet you married gys and the others who have already traveled. Now I have the stories and memories of my own. No one here ever said it was easy and I never expected it to be. I am happy I have you guys to lean on when times get rough. And I hope I have drawn enough info from my trip to even help you fellas out who are a little farther down the road than I am. Hell yeah Arnold Ill come to work on VDubs. Man so many Vdubs in Beijing and Baoding.
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Jo- Ma , that's nothing . In shanghai ... 8 out of 10 Car's are VW's . All the TAXI's are VW's , because the contract with Germany they have . If I knew how to fix them chinese talking Car's , I would be there in one minute .
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Yeah I wondered if they spoke the same language in China. Vdubs very smart cars haha. So I have made it home and slepped like a baby in a soft bed. Sleeping in china is like sleeping on a wood floor.
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So I have made it home and slepped like a baby in a soft bed. Sleeping in china is like sleeping on a wood floor.
HAHAHA...Chinese beds are pretty hard. I am not looking forward to that part on my return...well...parts of being in bed i am looking forward to.
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That is very funny . I haven't even noticed how hard the Bed were , that all you Guy's talk about . Maybe I have no feeling's or my Mind was on " Other " things . I think that was it .:blush:
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im not eaven going there arnold lol but some times a harder bed is better lol :icon_cheesygrin:
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Yes it's good to be Hard in bed...ahem I mean....:s
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lol im not saying anything :s
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I love the hard beds, sleep like a baby on em, used to have a bad back and slept on a rock hard hard bed for years (big wooden board and thin camping mattress on top) before it sorted itself, I just know these are healthy.
Josh buddy, I just read about you crying on the way back, I so know how that feels. I called Ling from the plane just before take off when they tell you to turn off mobiles, man it just about choked me up saying goodbye on the phone and hearing her sweet voice for the last time in China. I had to close my eyes and pretend I was trying to sleep or there would have been a decidedly unmanly episode on the plane haha!
It passes after a couple of weeks if that's any use, I kept dreaming i was with her and would wake up and my heart would hurt when I realised I was back in Ireland..am not looking forward to going though that again I can tell you.
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Thanks Irish. Our last hug was before I went through the gate. I did not take my cell phone and i dont think it would have done any good. I could have said goddbye and that I loved her. Now I wish I would have.
So many things have happened since I left her. She stayed in beijing till the 31st and returned home to baoding. I know I am thinking to much into things. She stayed with friends, and when i landed in L.A I saw her on qq. She was at a male friends house with little clothes on. She was with her girlfriends though. She only put on make up once and that was when she was taking me to the airport. She had a birthday party to attend for this male friend late that evening. This male friend was dating on of her best friends. But it seams odd to me. Today she said she was going to get her hair done. But towards the end of our conversation she put on make up and a beautiful dress. She looked amazing. She looked great when I was there but never like this. My mouth was watering. She also said she sahved down under. I had asked her to do this when I was there but she said she was shy. today she said she did it for me because she thought I would like it. I did. But why all this attention to her body now after I left. I do not understand. I try to ask her these questions but normally I get no reply. I dont know what to think.
While I was there she asked me if i wanted her to go back to work or not to work. She explained if she worked we would not have the time to meet each other. With the time difference I understand. I said I prefered not to go back to work so I can see her on a daily basis. I also told her to find an english school for her to attend. Her mother said she could no longer support Xu Le if she stayed home, so i said I will send her money to help out with anything she needed. Yesterday she asked if I was prepared to send her maony I replied yes. I know money is an international language and her family wants to know if I can take care of her. I will but I am gonna have to work three jobs to do so. So I asked a stupid question. She never wants to talk about our relationship or her feelings. This frustrates me very much. So I asked her why she always talked about money and never how she feels about us. This angered her very much. She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often. I never said I didnt want to send her the money I just wanted her to open up to me. I tried to explain it but I think I made it worse. She is my life and I will do anything for her. Any ideas guys? Most of your wives and girlfriends seam to be very emotional women. They like to express there feelings. Mine simply does not want to, she is she, or dont know how. I did get she she felt very lonely without me. And she loves me. Is this is good as I am going to get from her till we are married?
I do not have second thought about my relatioship with Xu Le. She is wonderful in everyway. I think I am wanting more than she can give me at this point in time. I know she is also worried I can not support her, so I think she is waiting to see if I can.
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Josh money matters are always dicey business and needs to be handled with extreme care in myopinion. You shouldn't have said that to her about the money, but whats done is done. Don't bring it up again unless she does or if you do..tread really lightly, i would just say i wish I had enough money to support her but i am already working two jobs as is, so with huge regrret I would tell her to work for the moment.
Agree its going to be hard to talk because of the time difference. I work shift so my hours change every few weeks so I just agree in advance when I can talk to my Ling, even if that means taking my netbook and hooking it up to my mobile phone during lunch hour so we can chat.
You need to strongly give the impression you would like her not to work but you are already working such long hours so you can be together with her again its not really feasible, let her realise that she is asking too much.
Regarding the emotions, everyone is different, for some its hard to express emotion over a phone line or the internet, for us westerners it comes easy, but I think the Chinese in general are more reserved, bit of sweeping statement that but broadly i think its true. Don't go rushing round like a bull in a china shop with her, take it at her pace and these things will come.
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I think there are some "signs" chinese ladies do "for us", but when we leave, I could not really explain why, but maybe does she want to show you that she wants to be beautiful for you, even if you're not there, with her.
Plus, she heard your advice and did what she thought was a good advice of you.
I think you do not need to be "jealous" or angry because she "makes" her beautiful when you're not there.
Even if I can not really understand, maybe is it a "chinese habit", I don't know..Maybe some other members / brothers here could say something about it...
I wish anyway you'll face that "problem" the best you can and that, as usual, advices will help you in your story :)
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Josh...I am in this one with Irish. You shouldnt have said that. you must be very cautious with money things. You have promised her what you cant afford? She can lose her face and you too! But damage is done. Dont try yet to twist your words. Its understandable that she is a bit angry. And if somebody is angry it will be not the best time to show that sort of emotions you are waiting for.
Try to explain her why your not maybe capable of doing that. Tell her the truth as i`ve got it from your letter too. That you like her so much and the desire for meeting her everyday caused you didnt think about the consequences, maybe then you wont be able of coming over to China as soon as possible if you do it? That you have to save money for bringing her over to your country and make a suitable living togather? May she wanted just to save your face as she said " forget it" If she loves you really as you assumes she will get over it. Dont try to play more hell of it now with your doubts about her way of dressing or something like that. There will be enough time for that. Time will tell you. The important one in a crisis is at first to survive it!
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She never wants to talk about our relationship or her feelings. So I asked her why she always talked about money and never how she feels about us. This angered her very much. She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often.
Josh, your going to have to be straight with me. Has she expressed her feelings to you? Or are you assuming? I am very worried about this part " always talked about money and never how she feels " This is what my EX did. Until I realized she was in it for the money not love. Your to young to be a "Sugar Daddy".
"She said to forget it and she would return to work and we would not meet as often." This is the basic reply to getting the man to do what the woman wants. It's followed by guy "What's wrong?" girl "Nothing."
If you have to work 3 jobs to do what she wants? Then your still not going to talk to her everyday. You'll be to busy working. Not one of the women I talked with or even my lady now has asked for a penny. They took care of business themselves. Saving what they can for the future.
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Jo-Ma, if I have learned nothing else its that if you promise a Chinese woman ( any woman ) something, you better be able to keep that promise, it don't matter if all you said was " I will do this " or " I will send you money " this is now a promise to her and she expects you to do it, if not you and her lose face and as you know, this is not good.
Good luck Josh and my suggestion is, keep your promise.
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I suppose you could read this situation a couple of different ways. I'll take a really simple approach to this.
How much does she expect you to send each month?
My wife makes 1000 rmb per month and survives just fine. She's a very frugal lady and makes ends meet just fine. You know the exchange rate so it's only about $150. Most could part with that fairly easily since it's a fraction of even a car payment. I'd offer her that and see her reaction.
Wifee works 6 days per week, 9 hrs per day and still meets me nearly everyday on QQ. I'll get up early, 6am and we'll only get to talk for about 45mintues to an hour. It's 9pm for her there but she gladly stays up late for our call. If i stay up late till 9pm my time, occasionally she'll come home for lunch and we'll talk for maybe 20 mintues or so. It's not much but she and I are always glad to have even 15 minutes if that's all we can squeeze out of that call.
I think you need to move carefully on this and examine her reactions. Just don't get upset if she gives you some bonehead answer that makes no sense. (24hr rule). I doubt you'll work this all out in one QQ session. Give it time and patience.
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Josh Buddy what the hell are you thinking.You didn't just take this girls face you took it and stomped a hole in it.If you haven't crashed this relationship.I would be real suprised
I'll write this again so that you can pay attention this time.
Rule # 1 Different country different customs.Just because you do something that way in your country doesn't mean that is the way they do it in China.And because you do it that way in your country doesn't make it right.
Rule # 2 24 hour rule.Learn it live it love it.24 hour rule says that if your lady says something our does something that you don't understand.Or ask you a question that you don't understand.You wait 24 hours befor you reply or comment on it.Post it here give the members a chance to disscuss it and post a reply.The tool is here you just need to pull your head and use it.
The dress and the makeup the shave.Wearing little clothes or provacitive clothesThat was for you buddy.It wasn't for anybody else.She was showing you face trying to make you happy.And your thinking about sticking it back in her face.
If you guys are talking about her shaving her private parts.That means you probably got lucky right?
This girl is from China she is from some city that is about 20 years behind the rest of the world.As far as values and what you do and don't Do.If she gave you some she is thinking that you are the one for her.Most Chinese girls don't sleep around or just give it to anyone off the streat.
Yes there is girls like that all over China. that give it to anybody.But they are few and far between.The reason they don't do that.Is what will there family and friends think.They actually give a shit what the rest of China says about them.And thinks of them.(DIFFERENT COUNTRY DIFFERENT CUSTOMS)
Yes I have heard the stories about westerners picking up Chinese girls in bars.They may even be true.But did you think about this there could of ben alot of alchol involved.Another thing that was pointed out to me by another member.Is yes you can meet a Chinese women on the street or any place and have a date with her.And yes she mite stay the nite with you.But ussually it isn't going to happen that way.Most of the time it is a commited relationship
Money money money It does make the world go around.You told this girl that you would take care of her.What did you think that she would not beleave you? If you told her that you would send her money.You had better start sending her money.DO NOT UNDER ANY CURCUMSTANCES.Promise a Chinese lady something and not really want to or be able to fullfill the promise.She is nieve enough to beleave in you.If your promise turns out to be a lie you have just taken her face.And now she has to face her family and friends.Where she has lost more face because she believed in you.
It is Chinese custom for the man to make the money and the wife to take care of the house.To make sure that the man is happy and comfortable.Showing afffection in public talking about your feelings in public or private is ussually not the Chinese way.A look a touch a smile goes a long way in China.You are just suppossed to know theese things
Josh I know this sounds really harsh.But it needs to be .SO that you will learn.You are mixing 2 culture 2 different customs together.Your lady is just going by what she knows.What she has sean from other Chinese couples.SHe knows very little about are ways and are way of doing things.The only thing she knows about are customs and culture is what she has seen on the tv.
What do you know about your lady and her customs and culture? Maybe what little you read here or seen on the tv.or a movie.It is a two way path with 2 very different people.Trying to work out one of the most important descisions in there lives.
Josh this can be saved but you are going to have to do some seriose crawling.And get the money to her.Tell her that you are still learning and that she is still learning and that you just make a mistake and that you are really sorry.
Good luck
Maxx
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Maxx,
Not taking anything away from what your saying to Josh here, but i think you'll find that Chinese women are not quite as pure as your suggesting here, not from my experience anyway. I'm not saying that they are anything like as liberated as our western women, but they will exercise their own mind these days....
China, and it's population has moved tremendous strides in the last 15 to 20 years. So it's not just the alcohol that is changing attitudes amongst it's women. I dare say, that the biggest changes are going to be in the bigger cities, ...slowly but surely those changes are spreading out of those cities and into the outlying suburbs and beyond.
During my unattached years in China, i really didn't have that much trouble finding female companionship, and i didn't find them in bars. In fact I rarely drink, ...when i do it's normally a just a small lager with a dash of lime. I would say that most of the ladies i met, didn't drink either. Looking back, i met these ladies mostly in cafes and other non-alcoholic places of leisure. I will definitely agree with you, in that these women DO give a shit what others think about them. So nothing is ever seen in public as a general rule, but it is a different story, when doors to the outside world are closed behind you....
Another thing worth mentioning here, I'm not talking about one night stands, I'm talking about normal everyday relationships, they may have been of a short term nature but, these women always demanded respect from male companions, you rarely succeeded in any sort of relationship without having that respect.
I'm sure if you ask others amongst us here on the Forum, that are now resident in China, they will give you a similar picture of what i've outlined above too....
David....
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David I understand what your saying.I don't think I painted to pure of a picture of a Chinese women.But I did do a little rewrite.I mentioned in there what you said to me because I thought you did make a good point.
David thank you for your imput.
Maxx
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Maxx,
My experiences, date back maybe 3 years ago now, so i would expect that the experiences i had with Chinese ladies would in general terms be more common now. I will also point out that i was never interested in the younger ladies, i would of had nothing in common with them. So I'm talking about middle aged women, in the age range of between say 42ish to around 48/49. Now if that mindset has reached that age group, things are a lot more advanced than we give credit too.
As i said before, my experiences were not one night stands, they were short term relationships, maybe lasting anything between 6 weeks to 3 months. China's a very big country, so I'm not trying to say that my experiences relate to the whole country, but i would expect them to relate to the majority of the major and larger cities..... The main difference between The modern Chinese woman, and say that of the western stereotype, is that they still hold a respect for themselves and demand respect from the men that they are in a relationship with. Your right, when you say, they are committed to the man they are with, that doesn't necessarily now only mean the man they intend to marry.... I think i should point out that these women I'm talking about, are decent everyday type lady's, they are no different, than any other lady you would meet on Chnlove, or anywhere else.... just that they are becoming more liberated in themselves!!
Things, they are a changing!!
David....
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David I agree they are becoming more liberated.And things are changing there really fast.But like both of us said.They do stick with the man there commited to.That is what I wrote to Josh.ANd hopefully he does read both your posts and my posts and does use the information that we have written.
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In my post I mentioned being intimate with 3 Chinese women over the course of 15 years. One was my wife, other fiancee and ex, and the third my new fiancee. Chinese girls are women just like women from any other part of the world. Yes, they will not just jump into bed with anyone reguardless of how handsome or charming. Maxx you paint an inaccurate picture of the women here. To be totally blunt I've met my share of money grubbers and girls that are just plain looking to be taken care. Maxx, your view of the women here is very limited, mainly due to the fact you don't reside here, your wife's friends are probably the nice sweet traditional types. Until you've lived here long term like David has, you will only have the smallest glimpses of women's thought processes here. Yes, I know about how many times you visited, not the same. I've seen more things here because anymore I blend in because I am yesterdays news. Josh, sorry I have to repost, send your girl and her mother flowers after you send the money you promised. Losing face is very tough for Chinese women. You might have to do a little groveling because of the face issue though. Ultimately the ball I would say is in your court as to how things will go. We're all behind you and wish you both well.
China Shark Mike
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Josh ... where are you buddy? How´s it going? We hear nothing from you. Speak with us. The comments were a bit harsh but didnt mean to be. What do you think about all these? Your silence is a bit worrying. Please make a short statement to know your going well.
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Darius, sorry you're right sometimes we get sidetracked and only think of ourselves.
China Shark Mike
PS Josh we're all behind of this one. Maybe a little space is all she needs. All hope is not lost, did my share of making girls lose face in China. Ultimately the majority of the times they come around, we're just country bumpkins so they give us another chance.
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Hey guys yeah sorry late reply. I had to help a buddy move the past couple days. I do not think you guys were being harsh at all. Its always good to be able to make mistakes and people how care give the constructive critisism.
I know I was wrong to call her out. I am still learning here guys. But the outcome of the situation was okay. She explained more of her culture to me. I finally understood. I was never worried about sending the money. I welcome the challange of taking care of her. We did discuss this matter with her and her parents. Her mother told me she quit her job so she could see me everyday. She explained that her mother and father have paid for her since we started on msn. She asked me if i would like her to return to work, or if we could meet everyday. We discussed the ups and downs of both. She explained how it would look in her parents eyes if I was to send money to take care of her. She explained it would lessen there worries about moving abroad and bein taken care of. So I think she kept bringing up the issue for me to have face with her parents. So I may have lost face with her but I think things are getting better. I also talked to this to my mother. She gave me some real insight. She told me if I dated and felt this way about a female here in the states, this girl would be living with me by now. I would be supporting this girl in some way shape or form. because we want to show this girls parents we are man enough to take care of business. I will as I promised take care of business guys. This girl will not do without.
It also lead into other matters of the heart. Just last night she said she had something to tell me. She started out by telling me she loved me. But in her culture it is not always said. It is something that is there but not verbalized. She said if we were togther I would see and feel her love. I should have known. When we were together we did not hold hands for a long period of time but she would grab my hand. When it was hot outside she would fan me or she would pull the back of my shirt up. At times she would sing in english I Love You, You Love me. And they way she would look and smile at me. Maxx I needed the 24 hour rule. I believe in it now. Now that I stepped back and have read your post I see all the small things.
This Morning when she came online she said she had been at dinner with her family. The same hotpot restaraunt her parents took me to. This was a big family dinner for them the parents and Xu Le to tell the rest of the family her intentions to marry me. She said they were very happy. They think I am handsome(Dont be a smartass maxx haha), and they were intrigued with my eyes. haha. They look forward for our next meeting. I then told Xu Le I cant wait to come back to see them and that I enjoyed her family very much. She said thank you. And I told her that I love her eyes. She was cute she said she loved my eyes. They were wide and so full of life. She also said they were as clear as the sea and how much she loves the sea.
This morning we talked she said she wants to explain more about her culture. She said she will tell me slowly because she wanted me to understand it all. So The first little nugget she gave me was that we needed to be best friends so our lives will never be boring together. She said by msn and our first meeting we are very good together, we have the same understanding on many things. She said we are good friends and will have to work hard to have happy lives.
About the other things I brought up I was just out of line. Again I needed to take a step back and look at the big picture. Xu Le did not bring alot of clothes to beijing. And we were out during the day sight seeing. Who dresses up for that? Not me. And when we were in baoding we were with family so no need to dress up. when we did go out she did put something nice on. So I have over reacted. And I do compliment her when she looks nice.
She may still be angry with me, but i have seen my mistakes. So I hope I can keep it together. Flowers are a great idea. So I will do that and continue to show her i am sorry for being a jerk.
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Sometimes wisdom comes too late and at a price. And sometimes, we have to make the mistake before we are willing to learn from it. It seems that you are recovering well from you mistake Josh and have gleamed knowledge from it. I wish the best for you and your girl.
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Jo-Ma , looks like your on the right Track now , my Friend . Keep it going this way and you'll have yourself a pretty nice Lady for a Wife . Haha
When you go back , make sure it's through LA again and I'll keep the Corona's cold for you .
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Josh hade my fingers crossed for you mate nice one ;).
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Well if everything goes well I will be returning at the end of the year or beginning of next year. So I know ill be waiting for the coronas for sure. I think I have got myself back on track. I am not sure I am out of trouble yet but I am working on it. With out you guys I would be going insane. I honestly have lost so much sleep since i have returned. I thought alot had changed since I returned from my trip. Everything is in my head. So if i can run on your guys advice I will have myself a great woman.
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Yeah , but if it's too Cold in the Winter , we need to switch from a Cold one to Hot Tea instead . But why not , got to get you started on that too . Haha
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Jo-Ma, this is great news and thank you for the update, don't worry to much about being in trouble, most not all but most Chinese women are just as quick to cool off as they are to get angry, they just don't tell us thats all, just keep going the way you are, kowtawing and all and you should be fine in no time LOL.
good luck and best wishes
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Josh I'm glad to hear it's working out for you.Thats a pretty remarkable women you have there hold on real tight.I know it's hard to remember the rules when your in the heat of the conversation.But it is a must in a cross culture relationship.
good luck
Maxx
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Great!, so happy to read your update Josh, your mother sounds like a smart lady too.
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Just when we think all hope is lost and gone then along comes the real love to prove us wrong....
Happy for you Josh.
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Jo ma you the man:angel:
You little sweet talker you....lol
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Thats a pretty remarkable women you have there hold on real tight.
Maxx
I honestly think this is an understatment. She is beyond remarkable, but I am partial to her. She amazes me everyday. Last night we only talked for a few moments, but it is quality not quantity. She went with her family to eat. But she said she was looking at photos and she missed me and loved me. Haha What? Did you say haha. Yeah Im never gonna let go of this one.
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Well, from what I've learned and heard, too, when a chinese woman says she loves you, it's really something important for her to share with you.
Even my chinese teacher told me that chinese women can't "show" so easily their hearts, even when we have spent one week in China with them.
But most of you already know that.
Josh', I really wish you all the best to show your lover how strong you can be, even for your mother who gave you advices and who is really "like a motivation machine" ;)
You also know we're all here with you and waitin' for some more news about you, so, just go ahead ;)
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Without knowing any "real" reason, I don't understand why any post should be deleted wihout the author could not be informed before about it?
Maybe, as for Shawn, did you have a problem while posting your reply? And I don't really imagine mods like Irish & Maxxx to delete some.
In fact I don't know at all...
I think anyway that a forum is created just to deal about many things, and if there's a problem, the best is to solve it in an appropriate place.
I wish you will review your post, Mister C.S (;) ) and that Josh will forgive me to spam his thread :)
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I dont mind Sly.
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Any recent news about you, Josh ? :)
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The recent news is not good news. I believe my relationship is dead in the water. I have followed through with my promise. I took someones advice and sent flowers that went over well. I have been sending money. I even was looking to take two part time jobs. this way I can send her more to help pay her parents back. The amount I am sending does not seam to be enough. She wants a big expensive wedding. And she talked about buying a car today. I know she is not a money grubber, but she does not understand that it cost to live where I am living. well, after our discussion tonight fellas i might not be back in awhile.
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Josh your going to have to go into a little detail what happend? what was said?
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Josh, if you think your relation is on a dead way, for sure, don't send anymore anything else to your lady... and please see about your health, that would be bad that you work too hard for something which is not working the way you'd like, don't you agree?
I don't really understand anyway how your lady can pretend buying a car and so on if she does not motivate you while you are far away from her and that you give her any proof how you want to believe in both of you...
Keep your head up on any hole and just know all Bro' are here to help, just knock and we'll be there ;)
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Josh,
I remember way back when I needed to be sure my wife understood my financial position. I laid out my finances, line by line, item by item. When it seemed like she didnt quite get it, I'd say it again. Sometimes it seemed, and sometimes still does, that she doesnt always accept what I say the first time and I needed to be patient and say it again. Somehow this seemed to bring more attention to it.
I'd like to hope that she's just not fully aware of your financial circumstances so don't give up hope just yet but I would probably move a little more slowly on sending money and sticking yourself into additional part time jobs to satisfy the circumstances.
I'm also sending money to repay the family for what they gave her to support our relationship and helped bring it all together. Through my wife, my motherinlaw has told my wife to follow my example of saving and budgeting since her mother knows as broke as I am I still try to save some as well. I think getting her to fully understand your situation will help things quite a bit.
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Jo-Ma , Ed makes a great point . To put all your Finances on the table , as soon as you can or need to . As most chinese Women still think we are made of Money . I put that out to my Wife , before I ever seen her Face to Face . She didn't mind and we moved on , otherwise it would have stopped right there .
As I see it from Xu-Le side , she might still feel this way about you or she does not know or care to be frugal especially in this Economy .
1st , who is saying your Money to the Parent's is not enough ? Them or Her ?
2nd, a chinese wedding not need to be expensive ( compared to here )
3rd, what does she need a Car for ?
From your side , I think you are now realizing that this relationship is going to cost alot more then you have bargained for . A second or third Job might help with the Money part , but it will not help your relationship any . Bring her here and you working say ... 16 hour day's , while she is at Home ? No .. that is not going to work .
If she can not except you as you are my Friend , as much as you and I hate to hear it , it's like you said ... dead in the Water .
Remember , you alway's have us here to get you through this .
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Sorry to hear this. I am against sending any money. It's my opinion but if you were married it would be different. As Ed said I don't think she understands the living expenses it takes. She might be taking what you earn as free and clear? Not knowing you have expenses to pay also.
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Wo Jo Ma sorry to hera that brother:-/
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It's been my experience, and it's easy to say but hard to do...
Women, and I believe it includes Chinese women as well, need a strong man to set boundaries. I think you really need to explain the finances in detail to her and let her know exactly how much you can afford to send each month and then, here's the hard part, stick to those boundaries, even when she asks for a little more or asks for the money before you are scheduled to send it. It's not easy to do, God do I know that, but you have to do it out of a calm, respectful mindset. It isn't easy when there's an emotional, distraught, beautiful girl in front of you, or you are feeling embarrassed or frustrated. So, take a 24 hour rule, get your numbers down on paper and write her an EMF. Maybe even put a PS to the translator that this is a serious, important letter and needs to be translated properly with no fluff.
I really hope this works out for you Josh. We all really want the best for both of you. Chin up and good luck buddy.
Neil