China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: Brian Mc on July 18, 2009, 02:56:01 pm
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Hello everyone. This is just a quick note to introduce myself as a new member. I joined Chnlove about 1 month ago and from reading the forums there discoverd the existance of this forum.
I just want to say thanks to all the veteran members both at chnlove and here for all your wonderfull posts and advice I have found so far.
Regards,
Brian Mc
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Best of luck for your search
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Welcome Brian Mc, What we had written in the official forum is probably buried in the archives by now. Ask what you need to and it doesn't take a few days to see it posted here. Being a newbie you will be doing much reading to get your answers I'm sure others has asked before.
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Welcome to the brotherhood mate, hope you have a lovely journey...:icon_biggrin:
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Welcome to the brotherhood Brain MC, I hope your search turns out as good as some of the others and mine has, good luck, best wishes, and happy hunting.
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Thanks for the warm welcome guys. I tend to lurk more than I post but since this is a forum near and dear to our hearts I may just open up a bit, and no worries Vince G, I do tend to read much of teh postings before asking questions, so I wont be asking things like " can I get to china by bus?" or things of a sexual nature or who pays for the translations lol. I have and continue to do my homework.
Anyway thanks again all of you vets for the wisdom and patience you continue to show and share.
Regards,
Brian Mc
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A warm Welcome to you Brain Mc from the Office upstair's .:icon_cheesygrin:
Have a successful journey and get used to the Humour that some of us here have .
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Welcome Brian. You will find this site very helpful in your search for your true love. Everyone here is great and the information in very, very helpful. I have been communicating with a wonderful lady and she wants me to visit her in February to spend the Chinese New Year with her. With all the forums here, I will be very prepared for my trip.
Good luck and do lots of reading!
Cheers!
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Wecome Brian. I'm glad you found the brotherhood and find the information useful. Not everyone feels the need to post unless they feel they have something useful to offer so feel free to sit and read and offer an idea or point of view when you feel it could be useful.
Best of luck to ya!
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Everyone here is supportive. each in their own way. You actually may not like some things but it is all from the heart and meant to help not hurt. Good luck in your search. I think the first question to ask yourself is, Am I serious? This is not an easy journey and you need patience and understanding. Do not let the bad things get you down as they are all learning experiences. And if you are truly serious about this, it will happen for you. Just go back and read some of the journeys we have taken here. All of them have had their downfalls and misunderstandings. But once you have found her, remember THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: 24 HOURS. Learn it Live it.
To find her, read read and read again. Once you see the pitfalls you will know how to avoid them. Like I said if you are serious, you will do it. Good luck and welcome to the brotherhood. If you cant find something do not be afraid to ask.
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Everyone here is supportive. each in their own way. You actually may not like some things but it is all from the heart and meant to help not hurt. Good luck in your search. I think the first question to ask yourself is, Am I serious? This is not an easy journey and you need patience and understanding. Do not let the bad things get you down as they are all learning experiences. And if you are truly serious about this, it will happen for you. Just go back and read some of the journeys we have taken here. All of them have had their downfalls and misunderstandings. But once you have found her, remember THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: 24 HOURS. Learn it Live it.
To find her, read read and read again. Once you see the pitfalls you will know how to avoid them. Like I said if you are serious, you will do it. Good luck and welcome to the brotherhood. If you cant find something do not be afraid to ask.
Ha! I laugh at the 24 hour rule. Not really, it is good to follow. Greetings Brian.
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yes. the 24hr rule is paramount. It's almost unheard of that you wont find her saying somthing that will blow you right from the water. Always lend yourself to the idea that it's a misunderstanding. You'll find it's nearly always the case. Their culture guides them in so many ways that it's almost unavoidable she'll say something you'll miscontrue but was not meant the way she intended or she didn't understand.
The fact this is not an easy journey is very true. Even after marriage, you'll still be dealing with many more issues unrelated to dating but now dealing with family, traditions, expectations in the family, and so on. Your in for a life long journey to learn and understand her, her family, her traditions, and so many things that make her a chinese woman. she'll respect your understanding as well as your commitment. She was born chinese and will always be chinese. You can't change that. Don't for a moment think one day you'll have a western woman. You can take the girl from the trailerpark, but you cant take the trailerpark from the girl. She will happily meet you in the middle if you give her the chance. Just understand she has no, or little, idea of western ways but what she's heard from others who honestly have no idea.
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yes. the 24hr rule is paramount. It's almost unheard of that you wont find her saying somthing that will blow you right from the water. Always lend yourself to the idea that it's a misunderstanding. You'll find it's nearly always the case.
Ed, you're so right about that.
I wish someone had told me that right at the beginning about the 24 hour rule.
Before I met the woman I am writing to at the moment, my dear Yang, I was used to having arguments about more or less nothing.
I can remember in the past having arguments about how my words made my correspondent feel, about what she hoped I would have written, about just silly misunderstandings (ie with other people, not with Yang).
This has never, ever happened with Yang. Not once.
I learned from her that no-one can "make" you act rudely or impolitely or aggressively or unpleasantly. Whatever the provocation, you choose how you're going to respond. If you're a fine person, you act well, even when everyone else around you is acting badly. I haven't reached this standard, but it's certainly something to aspire to.
Danny
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You know Ed what you say is true (She was born chinese and will always be chinese). At some midway point Song and I talked about this. As I told her, She's chinese and I want her to stay that. :icon_biggrin:
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yes. the 24hr rule is paramount. It's almost unheard of that you wont find her saying somthing that will blow you right from the water. Always lend yourself to the idea that it's a misunderstanding. You'll find it's nearly always the case. Their culture guides them in so many ways that it's almost unavoidable she'll say something you'll miscontrue but was not meant the way she intended or she didn't understand.
The fact this is not an easy journey is very true. Even after marriage, you'll still be dealing with many more issues unrelated to dating but now dealing with family, traditions, expectations in the family, and so on. Your in for a life long journey to learn and understand her, her family, her traditions, and so many things that make her a chinese woman. she'll respect your understanding as well as your commitment. She was born chinese and will always be chinese. You can't change that. Don't for a moment think one day you'll have a western woman. You can take the girl from the trailerpark, but you cant take the trailerpark from the girl. She will happily meet you in the middle if you give her the chance. Just understand she has no, or little, idea of western ways but what she's heard from others who honestly have no idea.
Thanks for the heartfelt welcome guys and also the great advice. To Ed Watson no worries my friend the last thing I would ever think of doing is to change her into a western woman, perish the thought. As for her trailer park I would be just as happy to live there as here, as you all agree the adress is just geography its the entwining of the hearts and souls that count. Oh and I hope after an entire life of marriage she still has little knowledge of western ways.
Regards,
Brian Mc
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Hi BrianMc
Welcome to the best Forum on the internet. Your in the best place to find all the help and encouragement you need to find that special lady.
I am now living in Zhuhai and although things did not work out with the lady I originally came for things are now perfect. I have found the perfect woman who likes me for who I am.
I am at my happiest point in my due to the help from the brotherhood.
You will find happiness.
Willy the ex Londoner
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Thank you Brian it is about time we finally get some fresh blood that actually knows how to read before he starts posting endless questions that have already been answered 100s of times already. Okay, I feel better now, ahem. The China Shark welcomes to our unique brotherhood and wish you and your lady all the success. Live it, breathe it fellow eggman. For those of you who might have forgotten or haven't heard of this {yellow on the inside with white on the outside, the ladies are bananas}. I explained this to my ex the other day and she starting laughing. It is what it is, don't try to analyze it or quantify it, just enjoy the ride. We are the chosen ones to walk the path less traveled because we refuse to conform to pedestrian mediocrity. Looking forward to reading your posts, an actual newbie with some commonsense, wonders never cease. Brian, try not to take me too serious, probably in awhile you'll be acustomed to my in your face point of view. I's tell em' like I's sees them. I am what I am just like Popeye says so eloquently.
China Shark Mike
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Thank you Brian it is about time we finally get some fresh blood that actually knows how to read before he starts posting endless questions that have already been answered 100s of times already. Okay, I feel better now, ahem. The China Shark welcomes to our unique brotherhood and wish you and your lady all the success. Live it, breathe it fellow eggman. For those of you who might have forgotten or haven't heard of this {yellow on the inside with white on the outside, the ladies are bananas}. I explained this to my ex the other day and she starting laughing. It is what it is, don't try to analyze it or quantify it, just enjoy the ride. We are the chosen ones to walk the path less traveled because we refuse to conform to pedestrian mediocrity. Looking forward to reading your posts, an actual newbie with some commonsense, wonders never cease. Brian, try not to take me too serious, probably in awhile you'll be acustomed to my in your face point of view. I's tell em' like I's sees them. I am what I am just like Popeye says so eloquently.
China Shark Mike
Thanks for the kind words China Shark Mike
I read all your posts with great interest and sometimes an in your face point of view is exactly whats needed. I hate to throw too many compliments ( unless they are to special lady) but I look forward to your words of wisdom since you are living what many of us dream of to be in country. Also rest assured I will most likely become more visible as my comfort level with this process increases.
regards to all and thanks for the wisdom
Brian Mc
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Welcome to the neighbourhood, Brian. Good luck in finding your one true love.
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Welcome Brian ;)
Never hesitate to ask anything here about any trip/advice and so on, you will see that we're here to help each other.
Don't hesitate to read most of the threads, especially the trips in China, and "ask an experienced member":)
You will find useful informations here that you might can not find anywhere else ;)
Enjoy ;)