China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: DougK on August 14, 2009, 04:11:22 am
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Hello all,
I was wondering if the other members might share how they started in searching for a wife in Asia. And, please excuse me if you have discussed all this in previous threads.
Did you start with China Love? Or some of the other sites? Has anyone done any of the so-called "love tours" in Asia or even other areas of the world?
For myself, as I stated in my intro, I was married to a beautiful woman from Taiwan. After experiencing life with an Asian woman, being immersed in the culture and traditions, it is what I want in my life now.
Looking at the web, there were quite a few sites...AsianEuro, ChineseLoveLinks, LoveMe, ThaiDarlings, etc. Yet, China Love stood out. Now, there are obviously some things about CL that I don't like, and won't get into at this time, but the women presented there and the overall presentation of the company were more impressive than the other sites.
So, gentlemen, where did your search begin?
Thanks,
Doug
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Doug
I think that it helps to not take any of this too seriously. In particular at the very beginning of the relationship. Inner peace through reduced expectations, is my guiding principle *laughs*
Over the past year I have tried some of the websites you mention for a short time. It's possible to find love and good people in all sorts of places. But I reckon, if you find Chinese women beautiful and enchanting, chnlove is the best website of the lot.
I am the first to agree that there are real problems with chnlove. It seems to me that around one in five of the women on the books at chnlove are (for a variety of reasons which I won't go into now) a waste of good credits.
However in my humble opinion, the average woman at chnlove is far better than the average woman at any other website I have ever come across. If I was doing this again from scratch, I would definitely come back to chnlove.
I found that the behaviour of people at some of the other websites is often quite disheartening. It seems more of a scramble, more like an out of control game of musical chairs at the other websites. The men and women who meet at chnlove seem (again, on average) to be more serious and respectful than at the other websites.
Danny
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Hi Doug,
I to have tried some of those other web sites, but went to Chnlove and I stayed for overa year there and met a few wonderful women but were not meant to be more then friends and a scam or two after I went to meet with them.
Most of the guys here have gone half way around the world to find thier loves, me, I went all the way around the world to find mine right here and yes she is Chinese, she is from Xiamen, Fujian, P.R.of China.
So you see I found what I was looking for right here in the States.
Good luck and best wishes with your search.
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I actually started at chnlove and found my love in the first 2 wks. For me I set my criteria like this.
had to be divorced - so she'd be aware of how marriages work and how they can go bad.
had to have children - so she knows what being a parent means and the sacrifices that go along with it.
And then, there she was. Added her to my favorites and got an admire letter from her a few days later and away we went.
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I've dated for many years in between marriages, :fi_lone_ranger: If I dated a woman with dark hair the next would be blond. If they were german the next was spanish. There was a time when I dated 7 sues in a row? It got to a point where it was like "Hi I'm vince and your name must be Sue?" So I set my sights on an Asian. Chinese or Japanese. Looking local it just kept expanding out more and more. Started local city, then the next cities next to me then different States and then I came upon Chnlove. I wasn't to crazy about the idea of "Dating" someone in China. A little far to meet for coffee or a drink. But meeting a few (online) and as some didn't work out I was on my last search. Just one more and back to locals. It was my last and her first. The day her profile was listed we met. Over time we both came to realized we were very well suited. I wasn't ready for this. I didn't think it would happen. But here we are? and I'm glad it happen.
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Greeings Brothers,
Well Doug for me it was a strange way. After I seperated from my soon to be EX I checked out all the usual sites in Canada, Plenty of fish ,Lavalife ,Metrodating, etc, and to be honest what I saw on those sites was very disheartening. I suddenly realized at my age, 51 I was in for a rough and rocky road to find the last love of my life. Now I have always carried a torch for asian women ever since I was very young. I do not know why that was .I had never written to or dated any but their look and mannerisms and yes even those beautiful sing song voices pulled at my heart. My EX was Italian and we shared almost 20 years, before it ended. Anyway now that we are parted I started my search on the north american dating sites. Somewhere in all that surfing I must have come across a link to CHNlove.
As soon as I went to that site I knew where I would have to go to find my love. I cancelled my profile on every other website and focused on chnlove. Suddenly North American women had lost their appeal to me. Although as I said there was not much appeal left to begin with. So I did as the site suggested being a total newb I browsed the 35 to 50 range, me being 51 I figured that 35 was as low as it would be smart to go. So I added quite a few beautiful ladies to my favourites ranging in age from 36 to 47. Then the admirer letters started pouring in. To say I was stunned at this development would be an understatement. On the north american sites I might get notice of someone reading my profile or a message sent but upon investigation it was always someone I was not interested in.
With chnlove however, it was a totally different story. Her were some of the worlds most beautiful women sending admire letters to me. Somehow I managed to narrow it down to 4 and sent replies via emf to them. In less than a week I found another that I had to write to. As soon as I saw Her face I knew she was the one for me. I read her profile and sent the emf. So now thats five women I was writing to. All beautiful the youngest was 37 the oldest was 47. Where in the western world could you write to 5 women in that age group and all of them being stunningly beautiful? Anyway in less than a week I decided that she was the one and I must end my contact with the other 4. Man I have to say that was a most painfull day. Telling these four women that I had found a connection with another and must in good consience stop writing to them, was a very hard thing to do. Yet all four wrote back and thanked me for my kind letters, all four were sad that they were not the one for me, and all four offered to remain friends. Again I ask you where in the western world would such a thing have happened?
So now I have found her. she is beautiful, cheerful, funny, happy, and a ray of sunshine to my soul. We have discussed much and progressed well until my divorce came into the picture. I told here at the start that there would only be honesty and truth between us so I told her when she asked about my divorce . Well that did not go so well I am afraid. The divorce was not specifically the problem but rather that it could take 15 months or more for me to be free to marry again. That news hit her very hard. I almost lost her with that news but as I said only honesty and truth between us. She said she did not know if she could wait that long as she is not young anymore (she is 41 and I am 51). Needless to say I was crushed by this. So I did the only thing I could I laid it all on the line told her exactly what I felt and where I saw us going. I told here that I would come to her and meet her and if we decided things were not as we thought I would set her free and she would not have to wait to find out if we were right for each other. That was one of the most difficult letters I had ever written in my life. Now this happened just as the typhoon Maracot hit Taiwan and then the mainland. Her agency it seemed was closed for at least a day, and it took a couple more for her to write back to me. It was the longest 4 days of my life.
However the reply was most wonderfull to here. She told me she loved me ( that was the first time she actually said it) and that she agreed we should meet. She said she didnt want me to give her up and she didnt want to give me up either. To say a wieght was lifted from my soul is an understatement of epic proportions. So the long and the short of it is I am off to China to meet this wonderful woman at the end of October. I plan to go for a month, which should be plenty of time to find out for sure what we have between us.
So the moral of this great long winded post? Follow your heart and do what you need to to find your dreams. Be totally honest to the lady you write to and respect both her and yourself. I almost lost Hong because of being honest but in the end it was also the salvation of our relationship. So for me I am totally sure that I have found the woman who will become my wife and walk with me together until the end.
Regards to all
Brian
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I actually started at chnlove and found my love in the first 2 wks. For me I set my criteria like this.
had to be divorced - so she'd be aware of how marriages work and how they can go bad.
had to have children - so she knows what being a parent means and the sacrifices that go along with it.
Really you had criteria like this? That was my criteria too! I don't know why people put such a premium on "unmarried". I reckon to have never been married at say age 40 is more of a worry than to be divorced. Of course each person is an individual and you look at them as a person and not just a set of characteristics. But I have always thought the best of the lot were the women that fit under your two headings.
I've dated for many years in between marriages, :fi_lone_ranger: If I dated a woman with dark hair the next would be blond.
Vince, sometimes I look in the mirror and I think if only I had been born handsome life would be easy. It's sometimes good to hear your stories and I think to myself, maybe it wouldn't have been so easy after all. Glad it's working out for you now!
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I was just looking to see where I wanted to go on vacation.I couldn't decide between Hong Kong,Japan or Okinawa.While I was looking Chnlove site popped up.And I took a look..Then forgot about it.The next day my wifes translater wrote me a letter.2 months latter I'm in mainland China.Talking to the women who would be my wife.
I looked at another site before CHnlove.It was called Genx.I was talking to a Russian girl.Who said the reason she wrote to me was I was the only person.That didn't ask her for nude pictures.We wrote about 4 letters.And then I started writing letters to the Women who would become my wife.So I broke it off with the Russian women.
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So I broke it off with the Russian women.
To think, you could have been "The Super Moderator" on "Soviet.Love.Info" advising us on how to make a 'Mexican-Russian Borscht'. :icon_cheesygrin: Would you have named your son "Igor" ??? :dodgy:
Maxx's advice on ChnLove.Info ... In China, don't leave home without your passport.
Maxx's advice on Soviet.Love.Info ... In Russia, don't leave home !!!
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haha. Chong, you made me choke on my supper I laughed so hard.
My criteria was a little different. I wanted a younger lady but not too much younger but I preferred no children because I couldn't bring myself to take a child away from a father, being a parent myself and having my girls currently living on the other side of the country. My girl has never been married and I would really like to give her a nice wedding she can be proud of and make her feel like the princess she deserves to be.
Like Mike, my divorce turned out to be a bit of a disaster, but she's stood by me through it all.
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Chong your out?Mom told me that they locked you up in the nut house again.Something about sexual relations with cats.You bring great shame to the family.Little sister says come home.You have lost all family face in China.No Chinese girl want man who likes that kind of cat.Mom very sad.Neighbors will not even talk to mom any more.
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Don't know about you guys sometimes.
What does this discussion have to do with the thread anyway. Oh, I get it, this is how Chong and Maxx got started.
never mind
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My Son, My son, when I said date an animal with a beautiful kitty, I did not mean that literally.
Sorry about the sidetrack.
Here is the readers Digest version.
I started on all of the sites like most of the others. Found my way to Chnlove. Put up a profile, got a ton of admirer letters, but found 4 on my own that I wanted to write. Found Angel, we sort of broke up and I went to another site and found a woman there that I really wanted to be with. She was coming to the states to visit me and her sister when she was killed in a car accident on the way to the airport with her mother. After a little while I went back to Chnlove but could not find one like Angel I wanted. I reactivated my profile and Angel wrote to me. That started it now my story takes a turn here. I thought I was writing her but was the interpreter that was doing most of the writing. Angel actually wrote about 4 letters out of every other day for 4 months. I decided i wanted to see her so set up coming over. The last thing i told the interpreter was that if this was a fake, I would turn them into some political friends i had there in China. Well, Angel met me in my hotel and after a few days we went to Xi'an. This is where we decided we wanted to be together. I asked her to marry me, she said yes and now 5 months later i am here for my wedding on the 21st of August. Living here for 2 months. What could have been a disaster turned out fantastic. Despite Chnlove not because of them. I still believe Chnove has mostly women that are honest and straight forward, but you have to be very careful and look for the warning signs. read here and you will find them. If you do that, you will be fine. Plus ask here for advice. Everyone is here to help and get help. just be honest. Everyone here will give you his opinion, you may not liek it, but it is given with truth, never meant to be mean or belittle. People who do that here are very short lived thanks to the great mods we have.
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My Son, My son, when I said date an animal with a beautiful kitty, I did not mean that literally.
Sorry about the sidetrack.
Here is the readers Digest version.
I started on all of the sites like most of the others. Found my way to Chnlove. Put up a profile, got a ton of admirer letters, but found 4 on my own that I wanted to write. Found Angel, we sort of broke up and I went to another site and found a woman there that I really wanted to be with. She was coming to the states to visit me and her sister when she was killed in a car accident on the way to the airport with her mother. After a little while I went back to Chnlove but could not find one like Angel I wanted. I reactivated my profile and Angel wrote to me. That started it now my story takes a turn here. I thought I was writing her but was the interpreter that was doing most of the writing. Angel actually wrote about 4 letters out of every other day for 4 months. I decided i wanted to see her so set up coming over. The last thing i told the interpreter was that if this was a fake, I would turn them into some political friends i had there in China. Well, Angel met me in my hotel and after a few days we went to Xi'an. This is where we decided we wanted to be together. I asked her to marry me, she said yes and now 5 months later i am here for my wedding on the 21st of August. Living here for 2 months. What could have been a disaster turned out fantastic. Despite Chnlove not because of them. I still believe Chnove has mostly women that are honest and straight forward, but you have to be very careful and look for the warning signs. read here and you will find them. If you do that, you will be fine. Plus ask here for advice. Everyone is here to help and get help. just be honest. Everyone here will give you his opinion, you may not liek it, but it is given with truth, never meant to be mean or belittle. People who do that here are very short lived thanks to the great mods we have.
Excellent post JimB. IMHO this post is the first thing a newbie should read.
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She was coming to the states to visit me and her sister when she was killed in a car accident on the way to the airport with her mother.
What a terrible thing to happen. I am just completely shocked. I am really sorry Jim. When you read something like this and it puts everything in perspective.
Life is short and sweet. Make the best of it you can I think.
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She was coming to the states to visit me and her sister when she was killed in a car accident on the way to the airport with her mother.
What a terrible thing to happen. I am just completely shocked. I am really sorry Jim. When you read something like this and it puts everything in perspective.
Life is short and sweet. Make the best of it you can I think.
Thanks for saying that Danny I forgot to mention it. What a sad situation. JimB's understanding of the dynamic of working around chnlove to see the individual and be aware of the environment we find ourselves in while seeking a future wife.
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The way I got started was by looking at the age range 35...50, nothing much else mattered..The one thing that I was interested in was TOTAL honesty, I even put in my profile that looks were unimportant, as long as the lady had a big heart...
After receiving many cupids, I decided on a lady from Lioning, but parents interference caused us to split, after a couple of weeks I then decided to send Keren a cupid, and have went from there..I have always only wrote one lady at a time...
Chong that was so funny what you said about Maxx I still have not stopped laughing...lol:icon_biggrin:
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Criteria
No sure if I had a criteria or not. Had an impulse to look for a wife. So stumbled across Chinlove. I made a selection of all the girls I fancied and this probably numbered 200 or more. decided that either Shenzhen or Zhuhai were the most convenient cities to get to from Hong Kong so by only keeping girls on my list from these cities I cut the numbers to 157!.
Then I tried to work out which of the beautiful women would be likely to be attracted to me as I approached 60. That reduced the list to 0. So i started again and looked at all the photos and tried to work out which girl would want a man of my personality and good looks. That list was also 0. So then I looked again and picked out the ones who looked stupid enough to want to be involved with me and I came up with one. However as most of you now know she was not that stupid and we failed after a week or so.
But I now have a delightful girl, admittedly one who had left her glasses at home when we first met, but who seems to see me through new rose coloured glasses.
Willy
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Criteria
No sure if I had a criteria or not. Had an impulse to look for a wife. So stumbled across Chinlove. I made a selection of all the girls I fancied and this probably numbered 200 or more. decided that either Shenzhen or Zhuhai were the most convenient cities to get to from Hong Kong so by only keeping girls on my list from these cities I cut the numbers to 157!.
Then I tried to work out which of the beautiful women would be likely to be attracted to me as I approached 60. That reduced the list to 0. So i started again and looked at all the photos and tried to work out which girl would want a man of my personality and good looks. That list was also 0. So then I looked again and picked out the ones who stupid enough to want to be involved with me and I came up with one. However as most of you now know she was not that stupid and we failed after a week or so.
But I now have a delightful girl, admittedly one who had left her glasses at home when we first met, but who seems to see me through new rose coloured glasses.
Willy
Hahahah Thats pretty funny, probably true but pretty funny. Course its true for all of us. How they can say we are handsome to us is beyond me but then I think they are all beautiful so maybe its the same in reverse, who knows.
Regards
Brian
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Hi all,
I've been on chnlove for a couple of weeks.
I sent a few cupid notes to ones I liked the look of, and some were interested in me.
But mainly I've been corresponding with ones who have sent me letters - a couple were actually on my shortlist (does the agency know when you add them to your favourites?)
Usually after 2 letters I know if the girl is worth pursuing.
I did try looking for girls near Hong Kong, as I'm familiar with that part of Asia. However, the chnlove geographical search isn't great, and just because a girl is registered with a Shenzen agency doesn't mean she is from that part of China!
I've also found that despite the extra travel hassles, girls from the more northerly/central provinces seem to be more what I am looking for. I'm currently corresponding with a lovely girl from Hubei province. The southern cities (Shenzen, Guangzhou) can be a bit wild, with higher crime/scam levels than cities to the North.
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Brett, how do you know about the Southern cities being a bit wild?
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Guidebooks, teh Internet, and from what a friend told me having been to Shenzen on business.
But then the same could be the same of most cities in Europe - the petty theft and ripoffs that tourists have to put up with in Rome is shameful (and yes, I got ripped off and a fellow traveller got her handbag sliced open :s).
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Vince---- 7 sues in a row?? my ex name was sue and i hope she wasnt one of the 7 if so my condolences to you. hhahahaha
any way doug i think everyone looks for something different when searching but i think the best rule of thumb is to take it slow
and really read the letters and ask questions. keep away from the looks as the main factor as that means absolutely nothing it
is in the heart and mind. but we will tend to see a really beautiful lady and think wow thats the one and come to find out different
after writing her. whats the old saying -- you can put lipstick on a pig but its still a pig--- i have found out in my search that the
percent of them being sincere though is quite high because they have been treated poorly for many years and really are looking
for a good man who will just love and respect them. it took me a while to find the one who wags my tail but now that i have i will
be going to guangzhou and living with her. so i wish you best wishes in your search i think best wishes sounds more appropriate
than good luck as it takes more than luck for a good relationship
happy searching
it will work out
ted
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There was a time when I dated 7 sues in a row?
Pleased to hear that you were not influenced by Johnny Cash and 8 was 'a boy named Sue'!!!!
Or come to thing of it you never mention if any was a girl named Sue!!!!!!!
Willy
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He he Vince my ex's name was sue too, you been to the Uk?....lol:angel:
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I'll ease your minds. I did date a Brit but it wasn't a Sue. I met the 7 sues in a row but dated 2. One maybe I should have held onto? I didn't have any feelings for then nice to date. The other was a nut case. She was following in her mothers footsteps. Her mother was married (back then) 7 times?
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I started with some Danish websites, but there was no bite. And then just in the beginning of the spring festival, I saw an advertisment from Chnlove. I was sceptical I must admit. But I tried anyway. I found a few ladies which I was interested in and sent cupid notes. I got a response from two. I decided to write with one of them, but the responses I got were short and no real content. First I thought that would change. Well, it didn't. She was not the right one.
Then in middle of april, I found a lady in Urumchi. I send her a cupid note and got a nice long letter back. We wrote almost everyday. To make it short, we dropped the translator after 1.5 month, met August the 1., got married August the 3. and returned to Denmark together on August the 15.
Even though we won't get into the Guiness Book of records, it is amazing how fast it went. We were meant to be together.
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I started with some Danish websites, but there was no bite. And then just in the beginning of the spring festival, I saw an advertisment from Chnlove. I was sceptical I must admit. But I tried anyway. I found a few ladies which I was interested in and sent cupid notes. I got a response from two. I decided to write with one of them, but the responses I got were short and no real content. First I thought that would change. Well, it didn't. She was not the right one.
Then in middle of april, I found a lady in Urumchi. I send her a cupid note and got a nice long letter back. We wrote almost everyday. To make it short, we dropped the translator after 1.5 month, met August the 1., got married August the 3. and returned to Denmark together on August the 15.
Even though we won't get into the Guiness Book of records, it is amazing how fast it went. We were meant to be together.
Nice story Hajo. It's amazing how quickly things in life can change for the better. May I ask, how did you get her to come back with you to Denmark so quickly? I always thought it's a long and complicated process bringing a Chinese girl to a Western country, even a tourist visa has its hassles.
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For me, when I was younger (much younger), I dated a beatiful girl from the Phillipines. I was stupid and ended up breaking up with her. And my father has never made me forget that I should have stayed with her. I ended up marrying a Canadian girl, and ended up getting divorced 5 yrs later.
I ended up dating another Canadian girl, and we ended up breaking up after 2 1/2yrs. I guess that with my bad luck with North American women, has turned me off on them. And after answering many, many, profiles on a few dating sites with no luck has also turned me off. I cannot understand, why a woman would not want to be with a nice guy as myself.
My fascination/love for Asian women however has always remained with me. Their exotic beauty, and wonderful loving, and giving personality is what has brought me to where I am now. I did have contact with a few different Asian women, however, they changed their minds, or their family helped change their views on coming to Canada.
I then contacted Hong in Nov 2008, on POF, and we hit it off. However a few months later, her family ended up talking her into going back with her ex-husband, because of their son. During that time, Hong actually introduced me to a friend of hers, that I ended up talking with, but I did not have the same feelings for this other girl as I did with Hong.
But, Hong's relationship with the ex-husband ended in disaster only a few months later. She said that during the breakup, she could only think of me, and that she felt that being with me, was her destiny. She spoke to her friend, who graciously stepped aside, and the feelings we now have for each other are much stronger than before. I was originally planning on going in April 2010 to marry her, but she has begged me to come sooner, as she wants to see me sooner. I am now going in Dec to Beijing, just before Christmas, and we are going to be married.
I know that it will be winter, and cold there, but we have each other to stay warm, and I plan on taking full advantage of her offer to keep as close as possible for 2 weeks to stay warm lol.
Anyway, it's good to read all these stories, and it sounds like a few of you have gone through what I have in the past with North American women. Best of luck to all of you that are going to China to be married. I know that I am looking forward to it!!
RC
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RC...you're a Canadian! How cold could it possibly get in China???
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And don't forget your toque, and your mukluks.
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Martin...
RC...you're a Canadian! How cold could it possibly get in China???
How about 40-45c below 0c .....Pretty dam cold!!! Brrrrrrr!!!!
Mike,
I think a bit more than a sweater and a winter coat!! ...haha!! Depending on where his going, of course !!
David.....
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How about 40-45c below 0c .....Pretty dam cold!!! Brrrrrrr!!!!
So pretty much like home!
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And i am dreading the winter in Zhuhai. They tell me that the temperature drops to about 20 celcius in January.
Willy
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-20C perfect tongue touching post weather
:fi_lone_ranger:
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-20...just getting warmed up for hockey season.
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RC...you're a Canadian! How cold could it possibly get in China???
exactly ..... you do have a sweater, and a winter coat .... RIGHT ????
LOL
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: Ok, Ok. I...AM...CANADIAN. And yes, I'm sure that the cold won't bother me that much. But I will be prepared with the sweaters, mukluks, toques, gloves, earmuffs etc. Oh yes, can't forget about the lumberjack jacket hahaha. And going in Dec, will have me already prepared for winter. However, I am looking forward to the shared body heat :angel:.
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Nice story Hajo. It's amazing how quickly things in life can change for the better. May I ask, how did you get her to come back with you to Denmark so quickly? I always thought it's a long and complicated process bringing a Chinese girl to a Western country, even a tourist visa has its hassles.
Denmark is not that complicated, concerning visas. And I have kind special status as German living in Denmark. The Danish rules apply only partially. I could bring her here under rules of EU, which are a little easier to deal with.
Jin Yong is here on a Schengen tourist visa, valid 90 days. But next week we will apply for a resident permit. Then she will get a new visa, valid for 6 month. They call it processing visa. I think it takes about 3 month for the resident permit. The resident permit has to be renewed after 3 years. After 7 years it can turned into a permanent resident permit.
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The UK is quite easy with visas as well - if you marry someone they can stay for a couple of years, and as long as they can pass the new citizenship test they can stay permanently.
I don't know about visitor visas if you're not married, but I think as long as she has a job and/or house in China and a life to go back to then it wouldn't be an issue.
I figure if my lady doesn't learn English after 3 years we'll just go and live in China - I have my own business so I'm pretty flexible on location :icon_cool:.
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The UK is quite easy with visas as well - if you marry someone they can stay for a couple of years, and as long as they can pass the new citizenship test they can stay permanently.
Brett - they do not make it as easy as that if there is a gap between your ages like 15 years or more. They call you to Sheffield for separate interviews. If there is a gap they try to prove that it is not a real marriage. And for any relationship that want to see that you have things in joint names - bank accounts tenancy agreements, mortgage plus lots of photographs. And even where there is no gap in ages you can still get called for interview especially if the partner is from Africa, Russia or CHINA.
Willy