INFO: CHINESE MEN TOWARDS DIVORCED CHINESE WOMEN

[maxx]

I read this in the China daily post the other day.

[Irishman]

And yet there are probably millions of divorced and single ladies out there over 30 that cannot find husbands, its hard to understand.

[ahkiwi]

Sorry to necro this thread.

If the men fell this way about divorced women (with & without children), how would they feel about an unmarried (never married) solo mother?
I suspect she'd be even less likely to get a boyfriend (let alone a husband), than a divorcée with a daughter.

[David E]

Can we get this "Chinese Men" thing in context guys ?

We should stop dumping on Chinese men over their attitude to their Women.

If you think that Chinese men have all got together somewhere and decided to treat Women like dogs, you are mistaken.

Their attitudes have been hard-wired into their behaviour for 3000 years plus! They regard it as pefectly normal and would be horribly confused to know that we think badly of them because of it.

That they dont think like we do is unfortunate, but it is only one of the cultural differences we will find as we begin our search for a Chinese wife.

There are also some glaring cultural difference betwen Chinese women and the idealistic model we have of women in the western world.....again, their way of thinking and doing has also been hard-wired.

If we think that we can simply "retrain" both men and women from China to behave exactly as we would wish in our western world, I think you are sadly mistaken

Know the differences, accept the differences...try to meet half way !....or at least step over the fence and look at it from their perspective....they think we are equally peculiar

DavidE

And yet there are probably millions of divorced and single ladies out there over 30 that cannot find husbands, its hard to understand.

Irish

I dont find it difficult to understand this....in their culture, Men place extreme value on their wife being a virgin who will provide for them a son ! That is how they view life....it is their culture.

Divorced women dont qualify in this, neither does a woman with a child.
David

[ahkiwi]

hmm ... I think I didn't phrase my question in the right way.

I'm certain not out to denigrate Chinese men nor the Chinese culture and I apologize if that's how it seemed.

I don't think that "Chinese men have all got together somewhere and decided to treat Women like dogs" and certainly didn't insinuate that they did.

What I do want is information ... information on how they think, both men and women. I would have thought that being a solo mum would be outside their culture, their beliefs and their values system, so how did it come about? (I have one theory that has nothing to do with the Chinese)

The fact that they don't have the same values as the westernised countries isn't "unfortunate", it's just different, nothing more, nothing less. Understanding those differences will help in trying to understand how they think, how they react, how they look at the world, etc (hopefully ... maybe).

[Willy The Londoner]

Just to add to this.

Since living here I have made a good friend with the husband of my girls best friend.

He talks openly to me about his girlfriends, past and present, whilst is wife is at the same table.  

He sees nothing wrong in this at all.  He is the ruler of his household and that is how the women like it.

He is on his second marriage and his view is that because this wife has not produced a son for him as his first wife did he may well move to a third is the next one is also a girl.  

Mind you he is wealthy enough to be able to do this.

I tried to explain to my girl that if we married she would have an equal say in what goes on.   But she was insistent - she would look after the home and all decisions would be mine.

The culture is different and will always be so for a  few many years to come and that is probably why we are attracted to look for a Chinese partner.

Willy

[David5o]

David,

What can i say, ..... Lucy hasn't got a good word to say about them, she reckons they think they should come 1st, 2nd, 3rd ......10th and if there's any more, that's theirs too.. haha!! They have been brought up from the earliest age, to be superior to girls, even the girls have been brought up to think the same way.

There culture may well go back Thousands of years, but it didn't teach there men a thing. In fact as far as men and women are concerned the progress stopped thousand of years ago too. The general truth is they treat there women as just another possession, if it doesn't suite them at anytime, they trade it in for a newer model.
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Willy,

The really rich Chinese men, have normally married into a very influential family. It would be more than there financial life is worth to divorce that woman. So they will have mistresses, ....some have two or more on the go at any one time, they would be set-up with a flash apartment and even an account with a card!!. This would also be quite acceptable to his wife's family too!!.....

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There are, a whole host of things that go on in China, that very few people outside of China know, or are aware about, Obviously they don't want you to know either. And you probably wouldn't believe, if you were told anyway....


David....