Language Barrier

[maxx]

Martin yes my wife thinks your really funny.Everytime I tell her you wine about her stealing your food from the farm.She just laughs and says dump Jinadian don't know how to play right.

[dude]

also the slang we use in the USA doent work either as they
do not understand that and you have to explain it for an hour

and i agree with the sarcasm that is a problem also

Ted, brb...ooops I was talking to my wife! :icon_cheesygrin:

I've been teaching my wife some of the slang we use in SoCal and she's learning quickly! Acronyms seem to work good...my wife will tell me brb when needed!

Like you guys say...PATIENCE is a must!!! Us being here, in China, we have learned what our wives have to deal with coming to our countrys...it's difficult to say the least! Fortunately my wife and I have much patience and love for each other... misunderstandings are at a minimum, unlike with my ex-wife...she speaks my native tongue great, we just could never understand each other....LOL

Plan on bringin your new wife back to your country??? Better understand what THEY will have to deal with...try puttin your feet in their shoes and stay here for awhile! Nothing like sitting at a table, for dinner, with several people that don't understand your language and you don't understand theirs! Even the women that have learned your language...they almost never speak it here and tend to forget it!!!

My wife has an English class three evenings a week. I go there with her and the Chinese teachers often ask me for help! One lady, in the class, has profile on chnlove and it says: she speaks English fair....hahahaha...ok whatever...........and the lady I see having the most difficult time speaking/learning English, her daughter lived in New Zealand for seven years and speaks English great! But like somebody posted here they need to be fully immersed in our language to become good with it!

Jim

[Lee357]

I do not know what it is like for them to learn English, but I can imagine because when I was learning mandarin I did not have anybody except my classmates and my teacher that could speak it. It was not until I spent my first 30 days in China that I learned that most of what I thought I knew was not at all accurate. Yes I knew the words and the structure but to dynamically communicate what I knew was almost impossible until I had been there two more times, then I finally was able to hold very simple dynamic conversations with people. I imagine it will be like that for most if not all of our yet to be found and already found wives. I was back in the states for almost 10 months before I went back to meet my soon to be wife and I found that I had already started to forget how to think in Mandarin. Which is what I consider to be the hardest part of communicating in a foreign language. You actually have to start thinking in that language to be able to form the thoughts you want to convey. Very difficult.

[Buzz]

Martin...I think this is a great thread..


I found from this very forum, that the best way for the ladies to understand you is to 'SPEAK' with them like you would a child...(not being nasty here)

Use words and phrases etc that you think they are able to understand.

Rob

You are not being nasty at all...in fact you are absolutely correct in what you say.

Do we all remember the last time we needed to teach someone English who did not know a single word..........yes we do, it was our kids when they were babies. And this is EXACTLY how we should teach our Chinese Women to speak English. After all, when our kids first went to school to enter a formal learning programme, they already spoke good English (or whatever your native language is) and WE were their only teachers up to that point.

So baby talk is the accepted and bulletproof way to begin teaching any language.

So yes...for language purposes..treat your Lady like you would a baby !!....for all other purposes...treat her like a Princess :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

David is on the right track.  I am taking lessons from a Junior at UNCG.  She is from Beijing and the lessons I am starting with are for kindergarten level in China.  I have several youtube songs that are designed to help learn the initial  and ending sounds as well as the four tones.  I have found learning the four tones this the most difficult.  So twice a week I pay for the privilage of sounding completly stupid.  During the week, Xiuru goes to class every morning for an hour at the local kindergarten school in Anshan.  She is learning at the same level.  The best thing we have done is get a list of words on a subject.  This week it is food.  I have the english along side the Pinyin.  Every night for two hours we just go over the lessons.  It is important to consider what she will feel when she arrives here.  Much like when I was in a room with all her family and did not understand a single word.  At our age, learning is slow.  The trick is not to focus on the end, but keep our eye on the present.  The journey of learning together is wonderful.  There are times that there is so much I want to say, but with web cam, phone, e-mail, we get the message across.  We live in wonderful times.  I remember when I was stationed in Japan, it would take weeks to get mail home.  Now we have instant communication.  I can not wait for the time we spend together, for that period of time we are walking on the same path.  I would recomend just one thing.  That is KISS.  when it comes to converstaion, it is best to Keep It Simple, Stupid.  
buzz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Ayvjy-Dgs&feature=related

[zook144]

Martin,
Funny this came up at this particular time.  All this is so true. Beng in Beijing at this particular time, my lady has found it very frustrating.  She is thinking it is too hard to communicate. So they feel the same way.  I'll post more on my thread soon

Don

[Willy The Londoner]

Don,

Just tell her that there any many ways to communicate in the early days. Tell her not to be disheartened.

My wife and I are learning from each other as we go along.  We have time - what is the rush - we are not going to be fluent in each others language for a lot time yet!!!!!   But rarely do we have any real communication problems.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Willy you have it easy lol all the mandarin you need to learn
       is how to say "yes dear" to Angel  lol
       sorry i couldnt resist i will go to the corner now and shut up

[brett]

Just got back from my Mandarin lessons. This week 2 teachers, 1 student (me). With 2 Chinese ladies teaching you Chinese, believe me you will learn real quick :icon_cheesygrin:.

[Scottish_Rob]

I learned a new word last night...qinwen.......:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Irishman]

Part of the reason Sunny and I have such a great relationship is that we can talk so easily. In reflection on of the major reasons why my previous relationships didn't work out well with Chinese ladies was that communication was hard and starting out that really can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations.

I've nothing but respect for guys that can make it work with ladies with basic English, I couldn't make it work. if I was to start over I'd definitely narrow down my search to ladies that could speak some English, there is such a big range of ladies to choose from on chnlove, why not make things easier for yourself from the beginning!?

[ttwjr32]

Thats a good point Irishman and when you are searching try and see
if one peaks your interest but i wouldnt totally eleminate the others
either. I do know quite a few guys who are with ladies who's english
wasnt up to par and quite frankly they have great relationships and it
is what steared me in this direction a number of years ago. of course
now that has changed for them but it was a slower process as they
learned english and my friends do kno a little mandarin but really didnt
put forth a good effort as their wives arrived in the USA pretty fast
which was prior 9/11 when it was a lot faster and easier