I want to share an awakening articel from a book I was reading resently,Kinda long ...
You said you love him/her.
If he/she is angry, you donn't know what injuries he /she sufferered, what places are stung ,so as to use anger to cover up their wounds or repel each other on thier own injury.
If he/she is despereate, You donn't know how much setbacks he/she expericens,how hard he/she make efforts,how many his/her expectations dashed,
how much frustration, helplessness,powerlessness he/she accumulated.
If he/she is heart-breaking, you do not understand his/her loss,disillusion and persistent extinguished.
If he/she fears, You donn't understand the course of his life had experienced repeated injury...
Then "who" you love ?
Answers to these questions, "who" are projected by the experience of your life, you think a good, appropriate object, and then you put your dreams projected onto the screen, with such an impression to search a match with the screen image ,saying something like I hope he /she is ...he/she can... the person who is the more consistent , the more you are attracted. In order to maintain, operate this close relationship, They both try hard to use a keen psychological whiskers to detect each other preferences,strive to become each other's ideal love.
Of course, They will feel more and more difficult, and the relations which you promote more efforts become more vulnerable, because the internal reality of their own to be hided further, afraid his presence would jeopardize the relationship .
If you donn't touch a person's inner world, with sincere,honest truly interactive,but just to get a good impression on each other, each transformed into a film,the novel's male and female, , rather than be yourself. So when you think that love arises,is it love?
what you love is the dream.The other in order to get your love has become a dream character. Genuine him did not be loved by you.
You are the same,Not being loved! Your genuine self doomed to get injuries in this so-called love.
Becaue your love donn't have the living space of real self.
If you do not want to understand each other on the back of your dissatisfaction with the bumpy background and experience, ignoring the true thought of this people , it is not called "love" ,because you only love your own feelings.
The so-called you deep in love, it just deep in your own feeling.
You have been longing for a friend, you have been missed him(her), or have been thinking about him (her) benefit, you get deeper with the sub-effort by your heart ,then you think you are deep in love. This situation is the self hypnosis ,You want to impose a dream lover on him/her. in fact, you do not want to like the real party,you do not want to know the truth condition deep inside him/her.
This is the problem many men and women face , So pls truely show yourself, whatever you think it is positive or negative, but also encourage and invite the other truely showed himself, whatever positive or negative, Then it has the possibility of love.
The truly wise, blessings of the spouses or companions who will understand that conflict is just as real relationships open the door, let you know after the romance, fantasy, passion subsided, is the real beginning of love; prepared by live ordinary real life every day, face the daily chores, is the true taste of love