WILL MY CHINESE DREAM COME TRUE ?

[joeswuhandream]

well yet again almost made it let me give you my insight .

Back in march 2009 i built a up a very strong relationship with a lady from WUHAN , she was very  beautiful so in september of 2009 i packed my  bags and headed of to china  ,
WOW what a good time we had everything spoken between each other and our asperations was coming true , BUT  whislt enjoying  our time together, i asked about visiting the family or inviting them for dinner ,guess what  the family decided they did not want my girl having a relationship with a foreigner, a complete reversal from what they told me   however i came home from great trip to wuhan to  reminis on my experiance  .

ok well i dusted myself down  and built up anouther relationship
this time with a lady from changsha hunan province  but this time making sure the family would accept me  i did not want
to be disapointed again ,and to my  surprice  everything was fine the parents wanted to meet me as did all heir family and freind including heir boss at work , wow  i thought  this is it
so of i went to changsha for the spring festival in feb 2010
you no everything went perfect the family loved me, heir boss loved me, heir son was over the moon with our relationship ,and heir parents gave their blesing to , so i returned home to start preperations to get married and retrun to changhsa this august , then the bombshell droped
i asked in a email to heir would heir pension be safe ?
and the anser was no, i asked my girl speak to  heir parents which she did the outcome ,she was staying in china to draw heir pension which would be 55yrs old  as she was 47 it was a little away as for the chance of me getting a job and moving to changsha was remote because of my launguage  problem
this relationship as come to a end also  ...
talk about a rollercoster ride and what it as done to my heart
 
so it seems i will have to move on again
i wanted to share my experiances with you all  
will my dream ever come true ?
it will be good to get all your feed back as for my second relationship i wish i could save it  but i do not no how  ?
or should i just move on  

WILL MY CHINESE DREAM COME TRUE       :icon_cry::icon_confused::icon

[Willy The Londoner]

Do not give up my friend. As you see my signature says 'Beyond the Dream in China.  

I am living that dream ever day.  What is the language problem you speak of English or Chinese?  There is plenty of scope for English speakers her - but that depends if you do not have too much or a regional accent.  

Jobs other than teaching are few and far between unless you have a very specialised profession.

Ted the Ambassador in Guangzhou knows a bit about pensions from that province but not sure about Hunan.  

Was this the first time you had met this woman?  

 Are you sure that the pension is the problem or has she got cold feet about marrying a foreigner and moving to the North West of England.

I know that pensions are a consideration.  One lady I went out with is wanting to marry, wait 8 years in China and her husband can come and visit her a couple of times a year to get a pension as a doctor, then pick up a private pension as well as a huge cash pot.  

When it comes to the crunch I know of many ladies, who, when it came down to it, they did not really want to move out of China if they could avoid it.

I sympathise with you as there has been a lot of disappointments this year.  

But it seems that you are certainly looking to get back into the chase once more and I wish you well in your quest to go Beyond the Dream.

Willy

[RobertBfrom aust]

Joe , although you might have asked with the best of intentions about her pension it would be an almost miserly amount per month probably only about 1100 yuan if that , so you can work out that into sterling so it is not sheep stations ,she may have thought you wanted her pension , and not her , but if she kept her Chinese citizenship she may also be able to keep her pension via a Chinese bank account ,and even add to it , regards Robert .

[shaun]

I am told that if she comes on a fiance visa and you get married to not report it in China and she will still get her pension.  Don't know if this works for England but it looks like it does for the USA.  Just a thought.

[ttwjr32]

Shaun,

yes that does work out ok if she is already getting her retirement. she can continue to get
it put into her bank as she is living in the USA.

Joe,

not knowing her situation nor finances how important is the pension if she was to move to
England?? Are we talking about a large some of money for as you know if it is 1000 or 2000
rmb that is very small for there after conversions. BUT here is another OPTION for you------
for a small amount of pounds you could open a retirement fund here in China that you pay
into which would give her a set retirement at a set time. now that might be an option for the
two of you as it seems it was going great for the two of you. JUST A THOUGHT  to discuss
with your lady

[maxx]

Joe it looks like there something else going on here.Like the other members posted there is ways around the pension plan.If your not to tore up over this.I would reestablish contact with the lady and see if you can't work something out.And find out what is at the bottom of the whole thing.

[Bee964]

Joe,
Try to rescue the relationship if at all possible as long as you both agree to do so. It is very important to have the acceptance of her family, friends, children and even her boss??!! Not one to give up on so easily if you ask me. Try to find a way around the pension problem. There has got to be a way around this. Best of luck to you.

Dave C

[joeswuhandream]

hi   bros
 well thank you fore your valuable feed back I am sure feel better that some people care

  I have just managed to talk to my darling she is not so well at the moment

but she told me in heir broken English  as she does not speak English well
I asked my darling does she love me and she answered yes  what a relief

now boys listen to this you will have some very strong opinion about this I am sure
I met my darling through chnlove  guess what bros

my darling is in dispute with the agency  she is very angry  and and really pissed off
and she told me she will not be treated like a commodity

this as been the problem  all through this last 2 weeks I have been well upset shall we say  all  my darling would say is (recently)  please give me time
now I no the reason
 so now I no she loves me
 and she will not let me get involved  in the dispute with chinlove
so
bros what  should I do now    play the waiting game ?

I did mention that  I will go back to Changsha in august for holiday instead of getting married  and to learn more about each other
as my last trip was our first meeting

the dispute bros is  about the fee think the agency are trying to pull a quick one and charge more  ?
 thanks WILLY, ROBERT B, TTWJR32, MAXX, BEE
I shall keep you all posted if anything comes to light
by the way guys the agency
is Changsha mei yin  marriage agency maybe they need to go on this black list to
i feel like going to the agency and giving him a peace of my mind
think it is not the right way forward  but think you all understand my feelings  long live my chinese dream
anyway my very best wishes to you  all
regards joe  :icon_mad:

[ttwjr32]

Joe,

thats good news that it was her concern of the agency and how they
are treating her. HAPPY to hear that and HAPPY that it wasnt a concern
about the two of you. just sit back and let her handle it. she will get it
resolved one way or the other. i dont know if you have seen this but when
a chinese lady thinks she has been wronged  LOOKOUT  there is no better
way to say it but it is like  A PIT BULL IN A CHINA SHOP  she will in no way
short get this situation resolved on her own.  just be glad your not on the
other end and it is being directed at you lol!!!!!
\
Ted

[Willy The Londoner]

All I can say is if my wife pension was anything as bad as her wages then I would not worry whether she gets it or not.  I spend more than that on the combined UK lottery and ice cream every month!!!!

Willy

[David5o]

Willy,

That's not the point, these ladies have paid in to the pension scheme for years, why should they lose it just because they marry a foreigner!!! ...It's the principle of the thing!!!

What ever the amount is, ...it's better off in her pocket than the governments.... Besides it all mounts up over the years if it goes into a bank account and stays there. It also means there is always money available when traveling back to China on visits etc.....

David........