Author Topic: My Trip to Chengdu  (Read 5812 times)

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Offline Hajo

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Re: My Trip to Chengdu
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2011, 01:11:53 pm »

Next week I return to my Chinese Mandarin language classes which are part time and I have to juggle this on top of working full time. I will not have much free time. Cherry already knows this and I will not to be able to contact her on the frequent basis that she demands.

Excuse me, but how do think to have a relationship if you do not have time for it? If you bring a Chinese lady to your country, it will demand a lot of time from you. Most of us have full time jobs. Speak for myself, I have some weeks with 50 to 60 hours work. But anyway, there was time to take contact to my (now)wife. Most of these ladies, if not all of them you will get involved with, will demand a daily contact. Supposed that they have access to an computer.  You guys down under live in the same time zone I suppose?

I am sorry, if I sound a little rude. But I have the feeling, you might check your priorities. Are you serious of that you want to get committed to a lady?

As you write, Cherry has done a lot for you and even introduced you to the family. I think, that if Cherry was interested in friendship only, she might have introduced you to some friends only. If you did read some of the other posts here in the forum, you should know what it means to get introduced to the family.

I cannot say if Cherry's "attack" was righteous or not. But when reading your post, I might imagine her frustrations. I do not say that she is right, but I think she might have a point.

In my experience, these ladies will do everything for you if you mean something to you, but they expect the same commitment from you.

I will close my post with a Chinese saying:

不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Offline seagull

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Re: My Trip to Chengdu
« Reply #16 on: May 01, 2011, 12:50:30 am »
Hajo, I am not offended by your post and actually, I quite agree with you now. Same with RobertBfrom Aust's post.

I have since spoken with Cherry again on the phone and every seems to be fine. All she wanted was for me to contact her more often. I guess there was a misunderstanding about what status our relationship was at, so I didn't want to be contacting her excessively as I thought she only wanted friendship. I will basically keep in contact with her on a more frequent basis from now on. Thanks for providing some good insight on my situation when I could have easily ended things.

Offline Hajo

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Re: My Trip to Chengdu
« Reply #17 on: May 01, 2011, 01:32:25 am »
Seagull, I am glad to read that was I had written was a little useful.

Nobody can tell what the future brings. Time will tell if you guys are right for each other. I wish you good luck!
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.