Ladies who don't speak English

[ttwjr32]

everyone needs to relax here. people are entitled to draw their
 own conclusions from their lifes experiences. it does not mean
 that they are attacking anyone directly just making assumptions
 based on what they see and or hear.

[Willy The Londoner]

Well you will feel at home here Brett.  I saw one large Tesco in Guangzhou and Ted tells me another is opening soon.  Not many people speak more than 5 words of English here but not sure I would call it a scummy area though.  But of course you call it as the want takes you.

As for the Queens English you have not heard it spoken like my wife 'Wotcha mate.  Owsit goin.  long time no see.  Ok see yu latar"  

But don't get her onto Teds old company name. Ted told her he wants her to say his old company details in English next time we meet up.    She has great problems with the word 'Vanco' and most of you can probably imagine what she goes around the house saying in place of it!!!   Sometimes I hear her saying it aloud and I go running to her.  Silly me!!!!!!  She was not calling me at all!!!!!

Willy

[ttwjr32]

sorry Willy didnt mean to cause a problem for you. Vanco was a small oil company
that was owned by a family out of Holland that did a little over 1 million a day in
revenue and i had the pleasure of managing that company for them for 9 years
until they sold it to a major oil company for tremendous profits for the family but
it was the best time of my life. so i have a ton of stuff with that logo on it.

[Brian Mc]

Greetings brothers,

Brett, about the ladies who dont speak English let me say this.... just because she doesnt speak the same language as you doesnt mean you should not consider her.  I am sure most of you know my story with Zhen but just for the newer guys heres a brief bit of catch up.  I came to live in china at the end of october 2009.  At that time my mandarin was almost non existant and Zhen's english about the same.  We have lived together here in Wuhu since then and my mandarin is still terrible but slowly improving as is her english.

We rarely ever resort to our besta translator as it actually causes more confusion than it solves and we talk to each other every day.  It is quite possible to talk with each other and communicate with each other for all the normal day to day things, Zhen and I are doing it every day.

Yes some things are difficult but we use english, mandarin, chinglish, body language, signs, gestures, and good old intuition.  People comment that we have a connection and we just understand each other and I believe this is also true.

We go shopping walking and all the things people do everyday and never use the translator.  We discuss our marriage where we will live school her friends etc and no translator.

I think if you both are willing to communicate then the language is not an insurrmountable obstacle, but rather a learning opportunity and a chance to spent quality time together.  Yes it can be tough sometimes but it is no where near as difficult as many think it is.

So for all the guys who think "learning " means you wont be able to communicate, just find the right woman and the language will work itself out.  Is it hard?  Of course it is.  However if you wanted easy you would be looking for a wife in your home city not half way around the world.

Someone once said if something is easy its not worth having.  Well let me tell you having a Chinese wive is so much more than worth having.  Is it worth the pain, heartache, misery, tears, anger, frustration, and of course expense?  You bet it is.  Is it for everyone? Hell no!!  If you are unable to find the fortitude to work through the language problem how will you work through the culture problem? Or when your wife comes to your country and is utterly lost?  Or you have marital problems because its all so difficult?

There is so much in this process that will make you pull your hair out in frustration.  Luckily for me I am already bald so no problems there.  Seriously though if you are unable to deal with the language problem then this is not for you.  It will likely be a problem for the rest of your married life to a chinese or any foreign woman so best sit down and really analyze whether you can deal with this for the rest of your life.  If you cant then stay at home and find a western wife.

Now before anyone gets upset when I say "you" I dont mean Brett specifically I mean you as in the reader of the post.  This applies to all of us not just the new guys but also the guys living with their wife etc etc.  We all see it first hand.  You who are just starting the journey are in for a wild ride.  Just make sure you have the mindset before you start it to finish it.

I here many stories from chinese women about foreigners who say one thing and do another. many of them have been hurt more than once.  So guys please make sure you can do what you say you can and can see this process through.  If you cannot commit to it then get out now.

Anyway this is probably more preaching than most folks want to hear so I will shut up now, hopefully before I offended someone.

Take care brothers and remember if a thing is worth doing its worth doing it right.

Zhen and Brian

[brett]

Thanks Brian. I actually had very few communication problems with Miss Wu when I was with her. It`s more difficult on MSN when you can`t read body language, and especially when Google is translating into absolute rubbish as it does sometimes :icon_cheesygrin:.

My post is quite old now, as I know a fair bit of Mandarin. And I`ve been coping very well in Japan with only a dozen words of Japanese!

[Canadian Ice]

In 7 visits to meet different women in China, I never had any real problem with communication....but we did not attempt to discuss the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, or detailed debates on Unified Economic Theory :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

All these women were "learning" or had "fair" as per their profiles...all these women had almost zero English. I dont think for one moment that the profile english standard has any meaning as far as conversation goes !!!...."fair" means she knows about 10 words,..."learning" means she knows two words and maybe if you are lucky she will learn more so as to converse with you !!!

I had a good quality hand-held translator and a full Professional Translation programme (Transwiz) on my lap-top. So for all normal purposes, we communicated well enough...along with hand signals, a few Chinese words and lots of body language !!

Ming and I first met on QQ in mid-November 2009, her English was poor. At this time now, after daily sessions on QQ for nearly 5 months, as well as the 3 weeks we were together in person, her english has improved out of sight, we can hold a reasonably good conversation in "Chinglish".

Even so, the ability to discuss "in-depth" issues is still limited, and will be for a long time yet. Only after a couple of years "total immersion" will she be able to begin to discuss and debate about conceptual issues, not only day-to-day stuff.

It is very unlikely that you will meet a Chinese woman who already has the ability to converse in conceptual terms...unlikely, but not impossible.

(but I have met many Western Women in the past who have limited vocal ability.......usually they only know a few words of english such as "alimony", " Foreign holidays", "diamonds" and "Ferrari" !!! plus of course..."not tonight dear, I have got a headache ,( which is taught to western women at birth ):icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Aquisition of language skills is part of your journey together with your Chinese lovely, she already has the most impressive basics of character and looks !!!  It is part of the responsibility you have to her, to be patient and supportive with communication and not to expect miracles of intense conversation on any subject for some time.

If you want to immediately have a ready made, fluent english speaker, with whom you can discuss anything at all, in depth.......stay with Western Women...if you dare take that risk !!!!!!

David

Ok I had to post a reply here....totally awsome post...u put a big smile on my face.

[Willy The Londoner]

After 8 months with my now wife we do have in depth and important conversations such as 'Dumplings or noodles for lunch"

Welcome Canadian Ice.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

i was pretty fortunate in that Sara had a really great grasp on speaking english
but at times she does get a little confused which is because of the bigger words
one might use at times