advice

[brett]

> all chinese have a gazillion picks of themselves and family

Ha! That is so true. My lady's PC is full of photos - mostly of her!

When I went to the Yellow Crane Tower in Wuhan the place was full of Chinese people posing. Even the men were at it. I was a total amateur and my poses were rubbish. I took some great photos of my lady. Some of her poses we stole from other couples, but most she came up with. I have around 250 photos of my lady and we were only together for a week.

I guess if your lady's English is bad or she is insecure then try sending each other QQ messages first. Some ladies have better spoken than written English, for others the reverse is true.

Many ladies will no next to nothing about Westerners. In my lady's city I was the only Westerner. By comparison every UK town has at least one Chinese restaurant.

[dave k]

well i set up a qq account last night and i'm going to see if she has qq and my lady is 23 years old, and i have asked if she picks them up from the agency and she said she did. and as for how many letters we write to each other everyday, :-/ she's never been married and has no kids. she's an only child and she does paper work for a company in nanning.

[wilsbrough]

Hi Dave.

I guess as others say, it does depend on how many emf's you are sending, if it is one everyday ie, one day you send the next she replies then i would say four weeks of communicating you should be getting direct contact by now or soon, but reasons for her not wanting the direct contact could be her English skills, how good are they? Also, the problem with emf's is you do not know if the translator is telling her you want the direct contact, they could be leaving that part out of the translation to her to get more emf credits out of you. (i'm not saying this is the case here, but you never know...) Maybe try leaving a note at the end of your emf to your translator saying you would like to get closer to your lady and do they have any advice for you. Things i have tried in the past is saying you still want to use the emf system for the majority of your mails but you would like to send her more than three pictures at a time, or you want to send mp3 files of music that you like to her and does she have a direct email you can send them too? (include your email address too, saying she can do the same) Suggest you have a QQ or msn account (include yours in the message) And would she like to chat with you at a time that is convenient to you both? (again phrase it in a way like you want to see her beautiful smile when you chat to her, and think this is a way that the two of you will feel closer to each other, but do not try to sound like you are pressurising her, or she may feel as you are backing her into a corner, which she will then certainly decline your offer...)

Even if she has no access to a computer. (even if she does not have one, some girls don't like to use the internet cafes as they may not feel safe there) She will most definitely have a cell phone. Maybe you could give her your number first, and see if she offers you hers, so you could ring her or send texts. (But be aware that some mobiles in China are not able to send texts or call internationally) So if she does say that, do not see it as a red flag, but she will be able to receive calls from you. But if you like this girl, i would still give it another month of emf's and then try for the direct contact again, if she still refuses, maybe you should then think about moving on, but this is really up to you as only you can know how far your are into this relationship...

Andy...

[Voiceroveip]

Ok a little tip here, if she's been to college and I would think she has if she's a clerk at 23, she uses QQ and email and Internet, at least at work. If not she probably has a mobile with QQ fundtionality, they cost as little as 200 rmb so they are very very very common, especially in that age range.

Oh and, you all know how you can block a contact in an instant in QQ ... QQ numbers are handed out more easily than phone numbers.

I used the same agency and they had all the excuses in the world to prohibit direct contact. Personally, I gave up due to other reasons, but some have had a good experience. I hope your girl is not called Angel ...

Cheers,
Frank

[maxx]

Dave the advice Andy gave you is right on.I would go with it.

[kenny]

Hi Dave,

I dont like to post advice here but what i have read it got me thinking about my experience. After about two months of writing EMF to Linda she had attached professional pictures of herself and everyday pictures of her daughter and parents but none of her. I asked many times for an everyday picture but always an excuse. I sent a short letter to her and said she could send one whenever she could and sent a message to my translator saying that i thought something was being kept from me. I even thought that i was done and started looking at other profiles. In the next letter there was a picture of a beautiful lady sitting on a couch in jeans and a pink sweater. My daughter looked at it and told me that she is a woman too and thought that after sending all those professional pictures she was afraid of sending a everyday picture like that.
Maybe the direct contact is the same with your lady, just nervious about it. If i would have moved on over a picture i would have made the biggest mistake of my life. So for what its worth my advice would not be to hasty about moving on if you have feelings for her. Keep using Emf letters and try to talk to your translator about your thoughts. I know the letters add up to dollars but it is a drop in the bucket to what is ahead. I still use the emf service just not near as much now. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Kenny

[dave k]

so i asked my lady if she had an e- mail and a QQ number so that we might talk more often and she doesn't have either but she said she will get the translator to help her set up an e-mail account and also a QQ account i have also talked to our translator about heling her do this and she agreed to help set them up :-/

[Voiceroveip]

Ok well that sounds like a good start ...

[ttwjr32]

just need to work together and solve the problem
 like this  just sounded like it needed to be worked out

[JOHN1964]

installed qq to my computer to send messages to MinYing and now no matter what i do with passwords i can not access the site, aaarrrrggghh, A little help please, Most of the text comes in Chinese

[RobertBfrom aust]

John , QQ will get upset if you try more than a couple of times with the wrong password , send David E a pm and as you are near he maybe can ring you and step you through , although what I downloaded originally was in English , if you manage to get in settings is on the bottom left 2 in like a serrated cog the you can change to English as your main one , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Vince G]

John I had the same problem with QQ. After installed and working fine the next time I went to get signed in it wouldn't work even with the correct name and password. I deleted the whole thing and reinstalled it. So far so good?

[David E]

John

here is link to QQ International....the English version.

I suggest you dump the Chinese version and re-install this one

http://www.imqq.com/