And I'm off, or we are off....

[john1964]

Hey Lloyd, I Hope your father pulls through this with good health, My father has been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and is to stubborn at this moment to do anything about it, He with my mum will be going to Thailand in early June and he tells me he will get it sorted when he returns,
Anyhow, I hope that you can salvage the relationship between yourself and Hongyun, You are still very welcome at the wedding ceremony,,And anyone else from this site that is in China in September,,I just have to wait to hear from ma ma and the fortune teller for the precise date for the wedding ceremony,,keep you all posted.regards from MinYing and John. 

[lfputman3]

It is interesting to work through the problems and try and find a solution, or a compromise. At this point, well, it's not the letter I received through the agency and not what she said to me, but she apparently didn't think other people would talk to me. I'm not going to go into detail, but I've learned a great deal from friends and family. Yes, I managed to crack that nut. Her sister offered to help me because the family absolutely adored me. Yes, grandma's funeral was an issue with mama, those things happen. Apparently since her divorce she has had a bit of a self-destructive streak. Then she met me, as I'm told anyway. So the hard part for me, is she is running away from me, because I am not just some random person who she could hang around for a while, drain my wallet and then push me off.
Most of her friends and family are telling me to cut and run, which is depressing to say the least. She now, is not responding, period.
I still have my tickets to China and I still plan on attending John's wedding, b/c I want to see if he gets the whole circus or not for a wedding party. I have other friends inviting me to different areas, including Beijing, Guangzhou, Qingdao and Xi'an. There's also one friend on qq who has gone a bit psychotic offering herself to be a good and true wife. She has scared me a little.
In the meantime, it's life, I have to work and do other things, I'm gonna talk with my other friends and see where things go.

[Vince G]

I would say visit her if you can. A true face to face may bring the truth to the surface. But I have to tell you another part, I was told the same "cut and run" with my ex and I wish to hell I listened.

[sara]

     I think you would make sure: what would she want to after you met each other.
     You know. There are different Chinese ladies in china. Some Chinese ladies have a nice job and nice life before marries, but some are poor with no nice job.
     The marriage in china has 2 meanings: marrying a man that is called jia (嫁) means the lady will become man's family people; marrying a lady that is called qu (娶) means the man make the lady become his family people. That means the man is hunter for the family and need to make money to support the family if the lady couldn't make much money.
Sara

[lfputman3]

All I can really say at this point, she knows when I will be back in China, knows I plan to attend a friends wedding. John, don't worry, if her famous temper shows up, I'll corral it out of the party. She knows I've no problem doing the sack o' potatoes thing. I will continue to drop her a line periodically, but I also not going to waste a plane ticket to China. Setting up tentative travel/tourism plans with a couple friends, maybe I will harass a few people here when I figure out when and where specifically. That means John needs to figure out his date though. 

Sara, thank you, I understand, one of our talks involved her thoughts on working to support her parents and after every time I repeated myself, she still didn't believe that I was going to let her work and send the money back to her parents. I think that has something to do with that evil person from an earlier post, who tried telling me I know nothing of the US legal system, or how economics works... I must be a really dumb veteran and a lousy accountant. 

Lloyd

[sara]

    some chinese ladies who have a nice job with a nice family needn't to support her parents becauce thier parents have their retired salary and house.
    the money would become important when some people really need it for eating and living in life.  some of chinese people will never be retired in china.
    you know the chinese culture is different from the west culture although i don't like some of chinese culture.  a lot of people think the man need to suport his wife and her family in china.  that is chinese culture.
    i just try to tell you the differnce between the west and a chinese lady although you might love the chinese culture.
Sara