Author Topic: Why is she so secretive?  (Read 2807 times)

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Offline 2hip

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Why is she so secretive?
« on: January 02, 2012, 11:06:47 pm »
Next lady for me is in  Beijing.  She caught me on IM on CLL.  We have grown closer and closer over the last week and a half.  We are frequently on chat for 3-4 hours at a time and it just flies by.  I've told her that she is too young (43) and I am 60.  She said, good you too old to get young girl...snicker.  I'm still not comfortable about it.  I even took a picture in my running shorts without tee shirt and told her "this is what it is at 60"  she said you look great.  Man it just unnerves me how these Chinese girls are versus American girls.

So we are planning on meeting in mid February for 7-10 days.  Her written english is pretty good on chat.  We can get through it pretty well.  I asked her if she would like to go to video and she balked.  She said she doesn't like cam or video chat.  When I pressed her a little harder about it she says her spoken English is not good enough.  I encouraged her and told her I didn't mind.  That her English will be 10x better than my Chinese.  But she won't budge.  I said okay, I don't want to push you to do anything you aren't comfortable with.  A couple of days ago I asked her to talk on phone.  She said no, she is not ready yet.  Stymied again.
Last night while we were on qq chat I asked her about where she lived in Beijing and she said West side
So I started naming land marks and she was shocked.  "how u know"?  I told her about Google maps.  I asked her for her address.  No, I don't want to give it to you yet.  I don't want anyone to know about us yet.

She eventually told me that you have to be very careful in China because Chinese people are very snoopy and want to know everything about you.  She said I hate this about my country.  She told me not to worry that she is not hiding anything from me.  I trust her.  What is your take on this keeping everything from me.  Does it bode well or is it just a nice woman keeping her cards close to her chest and see how this hand plays out?

Offline maxx

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2012, 11:11:17 pm »
She is just playing it smart.Just keep doing what your doing.I think a week is a little to fast for the lady.Give it sometime and it should be ok.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2012, 01:03:06 am »
Maxx is right. Keep on the path you are at present. Women will not open up to you until they are sure that you are not just a 'player'.  These women do have a lot to put up with as there are so players in this game.

Mind you if in a month you have not gone any further then re-assess your position.  Cos you could, unbeknown,  be chatting to a man! Or she may just have something to hide!

Willy

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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline Chong

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2012, 10:12:17 am »
As long as the chats online are free, play it out.

She's concern & shy about her looks and her broken English.

But before you go in February, you must speak to her or video cam. She has to respect that you're spending time plus airfare, hotel etc etc. All she's doing is waiting in Beijing.

Amber

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2012, 01:04:35 pm »
Why be do you request a video frequency, is refused?You have to know!Is it she that chat with you?Still keep entrusting other people to do?Before you want to go to be Chinese.You have to know that knowing is true she.That is the meaningful trip.(Woman normal thinking BE.Her wanting to understand a male square in the mind is bigger than the whole.But not is get around.)Much consider!Don't her bunco! :o
 

Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2012, 01:28:14 pm »
Amber the reason 2hip wants a video is to show him that it i'IS' the lady he is chatting too.  Many people have trusted other ladies to be who they say they are by just chatting on email, and has turned out that this was not so.  ???  In an ideal world, everyone would tell the truth, but that is not so unfortunetly.

After all, 2hip will be paying a lot of money to fly to Beijing, a hotel to stay and all other incidentials he will need.  He just wants to make sure. 
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Offline Haynes

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Re: Why is she so secretive?
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 10:07:31 pm »
2hip and Robbie
I had the same experience with a girl in Xian, she didn't want to get on line so we could talk
face to face.
I pressed and she finally gave in so we talked but each time it was a fight to get her on video
guess what when I got to Xian to meet her in person she was not the same person that was on line
so I told her thanks for meeting me but I was not interested , she actually pulled her wig off and knew she was caught, smiled and left.
I had planned to stay in Xian for 7 days but just spent the night and did the tourist thing the rest of my time there.
so go with an open mind, or don't go if you think it is a scam. there are good ones, I know I found one.
Haynes