I am sorry; I lost something here!
Did we not have a major meltdown and several posts concerning how much information the ladies or the agencies were withholding. Did I not read the outrage and frustration of not knowing the ‘WHOLE TRUTH’? You start holding ‘secrets’ back, because it might or might not hurt the relationship; this is a very steep and slippery mountain you are standing on and it will not end well. Professing never ending love, and then using that love to deceive the ladies does not seem to fit together. Lies of omission are just as damning as spoken lies. Well we are not married yet, so it can wait a while longer, sorry this just does make sense. We men cannot have it all our way. That being said, I am reminded of a saying I heard once.
A man came home and the first thing he did was look under the bed and in the closet. When asked by a marriage counselor as to why, he did not answer. The marriage counselor remarked, that unless you have been under the bed or in the closet, there is no reason to suspect any one else would be hiding there.
Don’t tell me you are keeping these items secret for the good of your relationship. This just doesn’t work for me.
Buzz,
Thanks for your comments. I think you either missed the point or I didn't explain it well enough. I am not withholding information rather giving it to her in bit size chunks. The other point is why tell her something before it plays out completely. I've been upfront but until all of the financial has played out why tell her one thing and then amend it, and then amend the amend. I am not a divorce expert her only having had one but from everything I have heard and am seeing happen before my face is that things change.
I don't want to air all the dirty laundry here but I'll try it like this. Lets just say that she is suppose to give me $3000.00 now and when the house sells I am to give her $1500.00. The way she may see it is that I'[ll only give him $1500.00 and we are even. But the judgement says 3K then 1500. Now I may need that xtra 1500 to get the house ready or I may have planned to use it to pay bills. So what do you do. Do you press the legal issue with the ex or do you make do and settle for the 1500.00. Then she is suppose to share in a profit. Court says liquidate and divide profits. I tell her market is down lets wait 6 months and then liquidate and divide. Now, I gave her the benefit on the 1500.00 but now she says but the documents say liquidate. It is time to ponder again, how do I handle this.
So, lets take this another step. based on the documents I commit to go to China in 2 months and spend 2 weeks. Because of the issues about it looks like I will need to delay a little while longer. From the beginning of joining this web site I've had it drilled into me, "when you say you will do something you had better follow through with it." So I've been telling her as we final out the settlement I will get ****.** and I will have to give her ****.**. So now I tell her, Well, it looks like now I will have to give her *****.** and I will get less plus I will have to delay trip by two months.
What do you think she is going to say and do. This man is a flake and has no commitment. I better look for another. OR I hold my tongue for a little while and when I know how things will settle out and I know when I can go tell her.
Do you understand what I am saying now? This is the kind of thing I am and have been dealing with. This is why I don't want to say very much. I'm not trying to hide I just know after 27 years how my ex is.
Good grief you've been there you know when it comes to divorce when they file we play their game.
Shaun
Guys,
I did as some has suggested and of course she commented. I guess it was sort of a rebuke. This is what she wrote. "And my dearest Shaun. Why didn't you tell me the accident untill now!!! I do want to share everything with you. Not only happiness but also sorrow."
As usual many of your were right. I said very little and she still says "until now!!!" I can imagine that she went on for 30 minutes about it.
See.....I told you so :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
The accident was no big deal, you were not hurt.....now you got into trouble !!!
The divorce IS big deal...and you decide to keep quiet. !!!
Shaun, I will have to come over there and kick yer A**s :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
DavidE
David,
Surely you can't kick any harder than my ex does.
Shaun