Moving to China

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

As you all are aware I recently returned from China engaged to my love Zhen.  We are planning on marrying in the new year as we have to wait for my divorce to be final and then get the certificate of single required by the Chinese end to marry.

Our plan is that I would go to China to live and get a position teaching english for a couple years then we would come back to Canada to live.  Everything at that point was based on waiting for the divorce then getting the certificate of single then coming to China.

Well things have changed!!  Thanks to some great advice and help, especially from Paul Todd and Scottish Rob things are about to progress sooner than expected.  Paul told me to check with the Canadian Embassy in Beijing regarding the certificate of Single and it appears that I can do that over in Beijing!!

What this means is there is no specific reason to stay in Canada and wait for my divorce once I sign the paperwork required to do the divorce petition, which I should be signing this week.  So unless my lawyer can come up with something that requires my presence here in Canada I am planning to move to China by the end of October!!

Yes thats right pack up my life and move to China to be with Zhen before the end of October. This was going to happen in early 2010 anyway so its really only a jump of a couple months.  I think also it will be easier to find a teaching position if I am in country to do the looking.  I have some funds available to cover me until I can find work there so I wont be a total financial ruin if this doesnt work.

While I understand its a leap of faith and all that, I feel since I was going to do it anyway what is the point of waiting?  So basically I am going to take the next couple of weeks to settle my affairs, drive my effects to BC to my sister who will store them for me, visit with the family for a few days, then of to my Zhen.  

While we still cannot get married until my divorce is final and I get the cert of single we should be able to do it before the end of this year, unless we specifically decide to wait for feb14 2010 date we had already set.

So as has been said by others like China Shark Mike make the leap of faith and with any luck things will work out well.  Since there seems to be a shortage of English teachers over there anyway I think it will be a good move.  I have no restrictions as to which city to work in, although I would prefer Handan since that is where Zhen is currently living.  However I will accept any position, anywhere in the country  and then once married Zhen will move to wherever I am working and we will go from there.

So there it is the new plan.  Ever since I returned to Canada I have been wondering why I was being parted from Zhen for so long.  Now that the main reasons are hopefully eliminated I see no point in waiting.  I will go directly to Handan and get an apartment while I look for work so that I will be close to Zhen and then move as required from there.

Zhen and I had an hour and a half webcam this morning and discussed this and she is in full agreement with it,  so I think with her support and network of friends and family I should be able to make this work.  I also asked the son RuiChen who is 15 now about his opinion of this and he is also supportive, so again no reason or issue not to go.  I will also do a power of attorney paper for my sister just in case something does come up and she can look after it.

So if everything goes right in the next couple of weeks I am planning to return to China for a couple years on or about the 19th of October.

Any thoughts or issues I may have overlooked would be welcomed so I dont totally destroy my life hehe.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

[Irishman]

Congratulations Brian, i'm looking to do something similar to you.

I have done a LOT of reading-up on what jobs laowai can get in China , and unless you have some really high powered job in the west already chances are you are going to do the TEFL thing.

In China you can get work fairly easily with any old TEFL cert or even none. But almost without exception the better paying ones want the "CELTA" certification issued by the University of Cambridge.
This is, by all accounts I've read, a pretty tough month of hell to get but it is recognised world wide as the de facto standard.

Realistically if you want to progress from the entry level roles and in time to managerial roles this is going to become essential. You can do this course all over the world in registered centres, for example i plan on doing mine in Beijing (Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults - is an English course so of course is thought in English everywhere).

I don't want to put a dampener on your ambitions but i think you really really should consider doing this even if it means going there a month later..on a teaching salary in China its going to be damn hard to afford to go on it later..do it first ..do it right.

You don't have to do it but i think it will open door that would otherwise be closed in the future, kinda like the degree i utterly hated doing but my parents made me do..it has gotten me many jobs over the years that needed a degree even if it was irrelevant to the work.

[shaun]

Greetings Brothers,

As you all are aware I recently returned from China engaged to my love Zhen.  We are planning on marrying in the new year as we have to wait for my divorce to be final and then get the certificate of single required by the Chinese end to marry.

Our plan is that I would go to China to live and get a position teaching english for a couple years then we would come back to Canada to live.  Everything at that point was based on waiting for the divorce then getting the certificate of single then coming to China.

Well things have changed!!  Thanks to some great advice and help, especially from Paul Todd and Scottish Rob things are about to progress sooner than expected.  Paul told me to check with the Canadian Embassy in Beijing regarding the certificate of Single and it appears that I can do that over in Beijing!!

What this means is there is no specific reason to stay in Canada and wait for my divorce once I sign the paperwork required to do the divorce petition, which I should be signing this week.  So unless my lawyer can come up with something that requires my presence here in Canada I am planning to move to China by the end of October!!

Yes thats right pack up my life and move to China to be with Zhen before the end of October. This was going to happen in early 2010 anyway so its really only a jump of a couple months.  I think also it will be easier to find a teaching position if I am in country to do the looking.  I have some funds available to cover me until I can find work there so I wont be a total financial ruin if this doesnt work.

While I understand its a leap of faith and all that, I feel since I was going to do it anyway what is the point of waiting?  So basically I am going to take the next couple of weeks to settle my affairs, drive my effects to BC to my sister who will store them for me, visit with the family for a few days, then of to my Zhen.  

While we still cannot get married until my divorce is final and I get the cert of single we should be able to do it before the end of this year, unless we specifically decide to wait for feb14 2010 date we had already set.

So as has been said by others like China Shark Mike make the leap of faith and with any luck things will work out well.  Since there seems to be a shortage of English teachers over there anyway I think it will be a good move.  I have no restrictions as to which city to work in, although I would prefer Handan since that is where Zhen is currently living.  However I will accept any position, anywhere in the country  and then once married Zhen will move to wherever I am working and we will go from there.

So there it is the new plan.  Ever since I returned to Canada I have been wondering why I was being parted from Zhen for so long.  Now that the main reasons are hopefully eliminated I see no point in waiting.  I will go directly to Handan and get an apartment while I look for work so that I will be close to Zhen and then move as required from there.

Zhen and I had an hour and a half webcam this morning and discussed this and she is in full agreement with it,  so I think with her support and network of friends and family I should be able to make this work.  I also asked the son RuiChen who is 15 now about his opinion of this and he is also supportive, so again no reason or issue not to go.  I will also do a power of attorney paper for my sister just in case something does come up and she can look after it.

So if everything goes right in the next couple of weeks I am planning to return to China for a couple years on or about the 19th of October.

Any thoughts or issues I may have overlooked would be welcomed so I dont totally destroy my life hehe.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

Brian,

Congratulations!  One thing you might check on.  One question you will need to ask yourself before you proceed.  Does your attorney represent you or your soon to be ex?  In other words if you are using the same attorney and she did the initiation and is paying the bill, find another attorney to do this.  What you need to check on is once you have signed the papers is it final.  In America it is only the beginning of the end.  There is a 31 day period before it is final, at any point in the 31 days either party can change their mind and contest or re-file.

If that is the case you may want to stay in Canada until the waiting period is over just to keep things from becoming very complicated.  Personally  I would not like having to come back to face another legal issue with my ex.  The last 31 days of mine I was the most complacent person you could find in North America.  If she invited herself over to a event that the children and I were having I said welcome... enjoy yourself... eat what you want.  After the 31 days, who invited you?  Not that this actually happened but that I am trying to give you an idea.

If you go off before a period comes to an end, and again I have no idea what the laws are like in Canada, your ex and her attorney could make thinks quite difficult for you.

Food for thought.

Shaun

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Irish, thanks for the heads up on the course, it is a good idea.  Our plan is for me to teach there long enough for RuiChen to finish high school then we are coming back to Canada.  So the teaching thing should be only for at most 3 years. If it looks like it will become an issue I will certainly get a TESL course done while I am there.

Shaun no worries there my friend, we both have our own laywer, have had right from the start, so unless the EX decides to get really spiteful then it shouldnt be an issue. However as there is also my daughter Emma in the picture it would not be a smart thing for the ex to stir up any more trouble than we already have.  The only one who really suffers when parents fight and cause grief for each other is the children, and we have tried hard not to cause Emma any more grief than necessary.

So hopefully the petition goes according to plan, we can get through the waiting period and then we are good.

Thanks again guys for te thoughts and help, much appreciated.

Reards,

Zhen and Brian

[Scottish_Rob]

Veru pleased to hear the news mate...You need ANYTHING get back to me ok...:icon_biggrin:

[Voiceroveip]

Hey that's a happy outlook! Congratulations, I'm happy for you ... and keep herding :icon_sad:

[Paul Todd]

Well done that man!:icon_cheesygrin:

Glad to here your making the move over here Brian, I bet Zhen was over the moon when you told her. Yes it's a leap of faith but it's not like you haven't done it before!  I expect you will find work in Handan fairly easily, its a university town and all those students want to practice there pronunciation at 100 yuan an hour, I'm sure you will survive hehe hehe, with or without that TEFL cert, You can do it online over here anyway so no need to hang around ! Here by the end of October, man that is fast! I think you must be in LOVE :heart:
Looking forward to meeting up with the pair of you !
All the best to you and Zhen

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Thanks all for the kind words and support.

Paul,   being in love is truly the understatement of the decade hehe we are so far past "in love" it isnt funny hehe.  Also its thanks to you and SRob that this has come about with your great advice and help.

Mike, you are so right I just cannot keep away from her, but then why would I want to?  She is everything I have ever wanted or looked for in a woman and so much more.  I know I go on about how we are meant to be but this is how we both feel.  

Right from our letters, which you can read snippets of in the love in letters thread in the share your love story forum, through our fist seconds together at the airport in Beijing to our latest webcam 2 hours ago everything has been perfect.  I could no easier part from or stay away from Zhen than I could voluntarily stop breathing.  It just cannot happen.

Also a quick update.

I spoke with my lawyer and I have to go to see her tomorrow to sign the divorce petition papers.  After that is done there is nothing left to hold me in Canada other than tidying up my affairs and moving my furniture to my sister.  I discussed at leangth with Zhen and we decided that I will fly to China oct 26th,,as she has work courses out of town until the 25th.  She will come get me at the airport again and take me back to Handan.

I will take an apartment there long enough to find a job hopefully in Handan but I have no restrictions.  So everything is a go from both sides and only the judge doing the divorce could possibly screw it up.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

[Scottish_Rob]

He he I hope I gave him the 'right' advice....lol:dodgy::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Look out Handan 'Brian's a coming...':icon_cheesygrin:

[brett]

Well done, and good luck with the language tuition idea. I am warming to the idea of moving to Asia. But I have some baggage in the UK to take care of. I'd also like the economy to recover a bit so that I could try for a decent expat job in IT.

Otherwise I might consider starting another Internet business, as it can be run from pretty much anywhere.

[Paul Todd]

Brian and Zhen,

I am just so happy for you both.  Ming Zhi say's it's all about fate, you can put two people together but if fate  is not working in your favor. Nothing doing. I have often found in my life that if I am doing the "right" thing every thing comes easy, but if I'm pursuing the wrong course then all I find is obstructions.
You and Zhen must be like Rob and Karin now counting the days until you can be together! Seems like fate is defiantly working it's magic here!!!

[Scottish_Rob]

I never did believe in FATE.

BUT, look at the facts, I was never interested in Asian ladies, never even looked twice towards them.
I looked at the Chnlove site, through other dating agencies, and thought 'hey why not?'
I sent a cupid to Ke Ren in November, she replied right away, me I left it til December to 'reply' to the letter.
LOOK AT US NOW !!!!

Speaking with Ke Ren has 'brought' me nothing but happiness (of course after a hiccup or two...lol).
Now we are getting married...
I'm moving there to do something I have never done before...
I also faced 'My Demons', because of my future fate in meeting Ke Ren...

Ask me now do I believe in fate, YES I DO, otherwise 'Why' would I have looked on Chnlove web site otherwise.

[David E]

Fate

Now you raise an interesting issue about the meaning of life:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

I believe the Chinese version of fate is "Yuan Fen"...more like "destiny" for us.

There is a very interesting psychological question that is used as part of an evaluation of a persons personality.

It seeks to identify the "people who wish something will happen" and the "people who will make something happen"...used a lot in Management selection profiling.

It presumes (as can be mathemativcally proved) that every micro-second of our life is pre-ordained, somewhere it is written about everything that will happen to us, minute by minute for all our lives !!!

Thank goodness we cant buy a copy of this book...then life would be so boring...or maybe scary

So, guys...here is the question.......

If a little old Lady approached you and said :

"For $20 I will let you look into my crystal ball and you will see yourself in 10 years time...it is guaranteed that what you see will be true"

Would you pay the $20 and have a look....or would you not ?

Leave it with you:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

DavidE

[Buzz]

Fate


So, guys...here is the question.......

If a little old Lady approached you and said :

"For $20 I will let you look into my crystal ball and you will see yourself in 10 years time...it is guaranteed that what you see will be true"

Would you pay the $20 and have a look....or would you not ?

Leave it with you:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

DavidE

David, not a chance.  If I had done that 10 years ago I would have seen my family today without my son who died 4 years ago.  How would one live their life knowing that your son was going to die within the next 10 years.  
Sorry, I like lifes dance, but don't want to know all the steps in advance.
 
buzz

[shaun]

Fate


So, guys...here is the question.......

If a little old Lady approached you and said :

"For $20 I will let you look into my crystal ball and you will see yourself in 10 years time...it is guaranteed that what you see will be true"

Would you pay the $20 and have a look....or would you not ?

Leave it with you:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

DavidE

David, not a chance.  If I had done that 10 years ago I would have seen my family today without my son who died 4 years ago.  How would one live their life knowing that your son was going to die within the next 10 years.  
Sorry, I like lifes dance, but don't want to know all the steps in advance.
 
buzz

I'm with Buzz.  I'd just as soon wait and see.

Shaun