Hubei Province, October 2009

[Neil]

Thank you David and Shaun, that is exactly what I wanted to say, but I wouldn't have been able to put it as nicely.  

That said though, if there's no attraction for Brett with his Ms. Wu, he needs to break it off and move on.  Stop wasting her time and making her jump through hoops and live up to your expectations.  Find that beautiful lady you're so set on finding.  Just please, make damn sure before you drag her through the mud, because I hate seeing it happen.

[victor-hills]

God well sead guys i try not to read what brett post becase he drives me nuts with his me me me all the time,its called give and take brett.

[Arnold]

Boy ... that is some tough Love .
But it needed to be said . It was not meant to be mean ... if they would have not cared for you Brett , they would have been only Silence . Now that would have not helped you any . If you truely Love Ms. Wu you don't complain about this and that over and over ... you go and MAKE it better ... for HER and for YOU .

[brett]

Thanks guys. Yes my lady and I drive each other nuts sometimes - we need to spend more time talking, and more time together. Talking will be easier next month when her work gets less busy, and I am going to see what I can do with the many days leave I have left.

I do write crazy stuff on here, but that is what's going round in my head and once again I'll say that the stuff posted here is not the stuff that goes into an EMF. There is no 24 hour rule for this board.

My lady is unique. No doubt about that. That's why I love her so much.

Today I had a good talk with her and we are still good. Her mother is still in hospital. I gather the sickness was brought on by the freezing conditions in China that other brothers are talking about. I guess I could get them a heater. But in the longer term maybe I could get some sort of central heating sorted out. I'm not sure what the Chinese do about this, I guess it's a problem trying to keep yourself comfortable when the weather can be anything from -5 to 45 degrees. We need to figure out some long term plans for her parents. My lady hinted about this in an earlier EMF but I suspect she rather understated the issues we face.

We also need to do something about her job. Yes I wouldn't hesitate to ask her to leave her job and I could send her money. But this is a big call to make and from what she's told me, I'm not sure she would even be comfortable with the idea. My lady does want to change careers but we've not had any time to talk about it. Sooner or later an idea will emerge.

My lady has hidden her chnlove profile. I did not ask for this and it's a lovely gesture.

In other news, only 1 of my postcards ever made it back from China. So far. I think the others must have taken the boat which is odd considering I posted them in the same post office on the same day.

[shaun]

:huh::-/:icon_rolleyes:

[Scottish_Rob]

:huh::-/:icon_rolleyes:

:icon_eek::icon_rolleyes::icon_mad:
Shaun I think we need to give up...ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[victor-hills]

Oh my what can you say its like entering the twilight zone lol.:s:icon_cheesygrin:

[Danny]

My 2 cts, everytime the frequency in communication has gone down during my online dating career, the relationship died. Yes some of them are very busy, my main current focus is a bit like your lady, slave job and hours, but she does office work so we QQ sometimes during the day, and she has an internet access at home so we QQ even more. Even when I am not online, she will wish me goodnight on QQ ... she makes it clear she is thinking about me, same here.

That's been my experience too. I just reckon if someone is so busy that cannot even send you a mobile phone text message to say that they're thinking of you, then you don't matter a whole lot to them. Hell, you can even do this while you're siting on the toilet, so you're not losing a single minute.

I always say this: it is less important what people say than what they do. If someone says that you are important to you and they can't find a single minute in a day to say hello to you, then clearly something is going wrong.

You either matter to someone or you don't. I suppose there are some people who don't need to be in touch all the time. But that's not the kind of person I want to be with. If I want to be alone all the time, I can do this without leaving home.

[shaun]

Danny good thought but how can a person text while using a Chinese toilet and keep from falling in?

Shaun

[Vince G]

With good balance..

[Voiceroveip]

:huh::-/:icon_rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

:icon_eek:

[maxx]

Ok guys we need to stick to the subject.To many times.These threads are getting off the subject and going off on a totally different direction then the original poster intended.If you want to start your own subject.Start your own thread it is that simple.

I will start deleting any posts.That I feel do not contribute to the thread that has ben started by the original poster.We all want to have fun.But we need to deal with the subject at hand.Either you have something constructive to say.Or you don't.If you don't have anything constructive to say don't post.Put it on David 50 thread that is what it is there for.

[brett]

Thanks maxx!

[seagull]

Hello Brett. Any updates?

[brett]

Not much good happening I'm afraid.

My lady's mother is still in hospital. My lady is worried as her recovery is slow. I don't know the details but after doing a bit of reading I rather suspect that her illness is maybe linked to China's famously bad pollution. Maybe we should take the pollution problem more seriously, especially the brothers who are going out there to live. The cold weather was definately a factor, I know that my lady really fears the cold.

Anyway, I have talked to my lady a bit on QQ, but she is still busy in her slave job, and I guess she also has to visit her mother and maybe help her father out with the home. I have taken a bit of a back seat of late, as I don't want to stress her out with any more crazy EMFs. I did cheer her up with some great animated bananas on QQ. But I can tell that she is depressed.

Actually I have also been depressed, this has been a pretty awful month for both of us (and not just relationship wise).

I am reading that Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus book. It's got some quite useful stuff. From this book, the messages on this forum and what my lady says in EMFs, I can see now that I need to convince my lady that I love her. Hmm, I know I am a relationship novice but I gather other brothers are having the same problems with their ladies. We shower them with gifts, we fly 1000's of miles to see them, we text and QQ them, we learn their strange language, but after all that they still don't seem to know why we're interested in them :huh:.

I still love my lady, but I am feeling neglected. That Mars/Venus book is also good in explaining that men need to feel wanted. That would explain why I've been getting edgy, window shopping on chnlove etc. I am however gradually coming to the conclusion that my lady is stupidly busy. The lack of contact is that because she is busy and exhausted. I'd like to help her to get less busy, but she seems too busy to make plans that would make her less busy :s. Another difficult thing I have encountered is that my lady is really reluctant to talk about important aspects of our relationship. I really hated sending my tough love EMF. But the upside was that my lady really opened up with her feelings about me. It was tough for both of us, but I have a much better idea of what I need to focus on in future.

My lady liked the long wooly socks I posted for her. I got a late night QQ session in return :angel:. I will have to post some more small inexpensive gifts. I think I'll post some good quality chocolate next.

I am doing quite well in my Mandarin class. Our teacher is excellent and she has started to get me interested in the language. I am starting to get over "the hump" that is the initial barrier to learning Chinese. I am hopeful that my language skills will be half decent in readiness for my next trip. Other people are right - Chinese does get easier the more you learn, whereas European languages get harder :@.

One other major development - the rest of my postcards arrived, 2 weeks after the first one. Considering I posted them in the same post office on the same day that's some achievement :icon_cheesygrin:.