Here we go Again...

[Arnold]

Rob , your words bring Tears to my Eyes . You know how I would love for you to stop at LAX on a lay-over and I would not hesitate
( even take a day off work ) to meet you there . One the way there or one the way back . You are one great Man , I really like to meet .

[Chet Sams]

Well Rob you do still have choices you know. Everyone makes mistakes. Its a human error on all of our parts. There is always room for a second chance if both agree to let the mistake go. If you truely think that Ke Ren did or does still love you. You gave up on her way to quickly. Even though your thoughts might still be driven by translaters and such. Even though it was over such a small issue. I am sure you can always try again to bring the true love back to you. Its what some call destiny. Just have to believe it exists and can come true.

If you do not believe things can change then you must move on to another. I am sure you do not wish to be alone for the rest of your life. Hence the reason why you are here i would assume.

No matter what the outcome will be. Go to China. Ya paid for the flights and im sure room as well. See the sights china has to offer. Set your mind free from the past and prepare the future insight of what you think you can do with your life. With or without Ke Ren.

[Scottish_Rob]

"...There is always room for a second chance if both agree to let the mistake go. If you truely think that Ke Ren did or does still love you. You gave up on her way to quickly. .....I am sure you can always try again to bring the true love back to you. Its what some call destiny. Just have to believe it exists and can come true.

Chet thanks for your input...There is no way back in her eyes...If she won't answer my letters or calls and I'm not there at the moment What can I do???:huh:

I can only hope that a meet can be arranged...It may have looked like I gave up way to easy but I didn't, there were things happening in other areas...

I being a romantic sort of guy, believes in Destiny...Once there I hope to fulfill mine

[Chet Sams]

I understand there is the give it time frame also. For now you have made the contact known as to what happened. Maybe have to ease the transition. If she can work the arranged meeting there might be for sure definate hope maybe. All depends on her i say.

And yes i kinda figured there was more issues in the background. Just went by what was told is all i did.

Ive done the romantic style for many years. Unfortunately the states women love themselves and money for the most part not all but a good run of them do. Which makes a romantic very very sour at times. Kinda hard to bring or keep the romantic there when a brick wall of i need money or i dont wanna kicks in. I hate that.

But just wait and see how things boil down to. Best of luck there however it unfolds for you.

[David E]

Rob

The Demons you need to face are not in China !!

You admit to yourself that you would never consider moving there full-time if it was not for the fact that you had your love there to be with you.

If you doubt that you want to go to live in China...for its own sake...and nothing else...then dont go !!

If you are wondering about making the trip on the offchance that you can meet KeRen....its a very, very long shot unless you have prior knowlege that she will be willing to at least meet you.

If you are continuing with your trip on the sole basis that you might meet her...dont go !!

If you want to have a look at a wonderful, different and exotic Country that may hold the key to your future work and life situation...then go and have a great time, a good look at it all...and maybe get the opportunity to meet some other Women whilst you are there.

Nobody here wants you to trek off to China on a very vague hope that you MIGHT meet KeRen...we dont want to see you inflict more pain on yourself by pursuing a hopeless cause.

It is OK to hurt, it is OK to grieve...but it is NOT OK for a good Man to destroy himself....

Think carefully about your motives Mate ...whatever you decide, my and everybody elses wishes for success go with you.

DavidE

[Scottish_Rob]

Of course the little devil on my shoulder (David E) is right as always and so are you Mike...  I know this...

If I am being perfectly honest, tonight something happened and was said to me which put me on a right downer.  It brought back the memories and brought into focus what happened to me 5 days ago.  So I started 'feeling' low again that is all

I don't think for one minute that we would 'bump' into each other in the city or shops, maybe at the agency there would be a chance...BUT I am definetaly not going there ON A CHANCE of MAYBE catching sight of her...

Personally I think the doubts surfaced because of what happened tonight.  There has been one more letter sent to her to try and arrange going for a coffee, if this fails, then so be it...

I have been looking forward to making a new life for myself, and I have been told that that there are many woman to choose from... However, what I mentioned earlier is true to a certain extent, 'Am I ready for another woman?' Maybe not right now...It will take time to get over this...BUT who knows when I get there and see the Beauty I have been told about...

I have never been  outside of the UK, so to go this far away from everyone takes guts.  Tonight I questioned myself, and 'realised' my doubts were down to what had been mentioned in this post.   However I have the resolve and determination to do this..  Maybe even next week or the day before I go I will have doubts again, who knows?  The main thing I know and it is going against what I wrote earlier is that, in my heart of hearts I do want to do it.

So again friends I thank you
Rob

[ron]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB  Well I understand where you are coming from.Whether it is closure or make sure you have given it everything you could.I know you have to do what you have to do.Get out get some air and you have time to think about all this like what ? 4 weeks?I know everyone here wishes you the best at whatever you decide.You know we are here for you when you are ready.Hope you are having a hell of a good birthday my friend.
              Ron[/align]

[Willy The Londoner]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rob,

I wish that I was 53 again!!!  

If you do decide on continuing the journey then just get out here and see what you will have done by the time you reach my age!!   You know what my thoughts are as we have spoken privately.  

You have given a lot of pleasure to the Brothers and they will all stick by you whichever course you choose.  So you will never be alone.  

What has happened is just another chapter in your book.  Its a pity you are not already here as you will find moving on a great deal easier.  Look at me, broke up on Monday, met a lady on her way into the agency on Tuesday and was in love again by Wednesday.    her from that day to now.  From then I have gone from lady to lady but now have one that I am teaching her English too - I taught her to count, you no '96, 97, 98,99 now change hands'!!!!  It is great fun

 Whatever happens you to could have a great time here and if it does not work out, England, sorry Scotland, is only a plane ride away.

Willy

[Paul Todd]

A BIG Happy birthday to you my friend!:heart:

We hope the next year brings you all the happiness you deserve and a bit more!

Ming Zhi,Paul:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[shaun]

Willy,

Your a sick man. :icon_cheesygrin:

Shaun

[Vince G]

If Willy & Rob got together they would be a regular "Mutt & Jeff"
[attachment=891][attachment=892]

[Scottish_Rob]

ROFLMAO....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Thanks Vince I needed that !!!!   :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Scottish_Rob]

Ok guys here I go again...

Sorry if this is getting annoying, but I feel that what someone said earlier maybe I did not do enough to win her back.

So tonight I wrote a letter to her dad and tomorrow I post it.  I will put this letter with one to Keren to ask that she delivers it.  THIS is maybe a chance that I have to take.  If anyone wants to comment on it, I ask that you comment from a fathers point of view, thanks guys.

Mr Wang
Hello
Please forgive my intrusion into your life, I do not mean to be so forward with someone I have never meet.   My name is Robert, You may know me as Bo WEN.  Keren tells me you gave me this name.  For that I thank you and feel very honoured about this.  Please do not be angry with Keren, she knows nothing about this letter to you from me.  The only thing I have asked her to do is deliver it to you unopened.  So I hope that this was the way you received it as such.

I have been in contact with Keren since last November 2008.  And as time progressed our feelings towards each other has grown.  So much so, that I asked her to marry me -- 'informally'.  I knew that when I come to Qingdao on 16th November 2009, I would be asking your permission for this.  Family values to me is very important, I cherish my own sons and daughters, and also my grandchildren.  I think I must tell you here, that I love your daughter very much, and I know she also loves me.

I understand from our recent correspondence that you do not agree with this, because you feel you may lose Face.  I must say, and I do not mean this to sound bad.  But your culture is a strange one for us Westerners to understand all of it, but there are many of us who do try. I am one of those who is trying to understand it all.

Please excuse me Mr Wang, but as I see it Keren is being a dutiful daughter to you and your wife, please understand this to be true.  She has told me that we must 'Break off' our  correspondence.  This saddens me and is breaking both our hearts !!!

I truly do understand your reason which is 'FACE, however, please excuse me again, but I truly DO NOT understand the validity of your reason, because I am small??  Yes I am a Laowei, Yes sir I am 143 cms tall.  But could you tell me what has height got to do with anything?  Keren was wrong to keep this from you, and she aknowldges this however, I can see some of her logic in doing so.  Can you?  All she wanted to do was get her family to love me in their hearts -- as she does, and not see the height.  Tell me please, Is that so wrong?

If you know anything about History Mr Wang, you will 'maybe' remember that the likes of such people as 'Ghengis Khan', 'Napoleon' , 'Mao Tse Tung' and others were small too, and these were great leaders in their Countries.

Many of my friends on www.Chinalove.info sent letters to Keren to possibly pass onto you about me.  I am not sure if this wa done because she mentioned about you being sick in bed.  They have known me maybe for only 6 months to over 1 year, and they had many good things to say about me.  Too which I am extremely grateful and full of astonishment that anyone would do this for me.

I could go on and list all my 'good' traits but I feel that this would be too vain of me to do so.  Yes I am small in height, but through the years (I am now 53 years of age), I have made many good and loyal friends, why?..... Because I am a good and decent person who has a big heart.  there are a few people who has said to me, "Give it up" but how can I???.  11 months 1 week and 3 days of speaking to Keren has brought me nothing but happiness.

I don't think your daughter would just pick up any one, because I think she is a very good and sincere lady, she is a credit to you and your family, and she is also beautiful both on the outside and inside.  I saw this in her eyes the first time I saw her photograph..

Would you let your daughter suffer 'Maybe' years of 'hurt' and 'loneliness' by not being with me because your culture is 'Face' driven?   Is it not better to have a small person in the family rather than have someone who would be arrogant and maybe mistreat her.  Someone said  and I quote, 'He will bring Face too your family, because he will NEVER embarress your family because of his height, he is a sincere man'.

Sir in conclusion, I ask that you can maybe see some of the honourable traits I have and at least let Keren and I meet, to see if this could work.  Or even if YOU would meet me to discuss your concerns.  I know you are a loving parent, and I understand your feelings, I am one also.  However this is your daughters happiness we are talking about here, not anyone's ego, I do not mean to sound cheeky here.  You will see your daughter I can understand that you may think that she would move away if she marries me, this will not happen.  Height, Colour, Race, Religion should not stand in the way of her happiness.  You care so much for your daughter, I understand that, but with all my heart I love her and I know you do also.  I will be a good husband and family member (if accepted).  This letter is from a father to a father, so I hope you don't think me conceited, all I am trying to do is WIN back the love of my lady and hopefully the respect from her family...

I would NOT presume to tell you how to run your family but I would be willing to wait another year to get married, if that is what you would like, in that time you would get to know me and I would get to know you and your culture.  You see, I am moving to Qingdao to teach and live.  Maybe I should have said this at the start !!!

I will go now and let you decide.
I hope with your Gods help and mine, you may overturn your decision

Rob
Bo Wen.

[shaun]

Rob,

Your letter touched my heart as a father myself.  I thought about this letter as a father receiving a letter from a man who wanted to marry my daughter.  I have 2 ages 24 and 22; both still in school.  One graduates in May with DS in Physical Therapy and the other graduates with a bachelors in Psychology.  I'm not a proud father am I.

Anyway I wanted to read the letter this way and would like to pass you a few observations.  I know I cannot speak for Ka Ren's father.  If I had turned you down I would definitely have to take a second look at you.

1. This man does not give up easily.
2. This man has professed more than once that he loves my daughter.
3. This man has respect for fatherhood.
4. This man has respect for me.
5. He has respect for our culture.
6. He has respect for my daughter.
7. He has guts to confront me.
8. He deserves a chance for me to know him better.

Rob,

Rob I didn't say you had a chance to marry my daughter but you would have the chance to prove yourself.  I hope this is what you get from her father.

Go for it.

Of course we will support you whatever transpires.

Shaun

[Arnold]

I think Shaun and I are one the same page .
Very well put Shaun , thanks . I'm sure Rob will also thank you .