Greetings Brothers,
Well its update time again.
First Zhen contacted one of her multitude of friends and got us hooked up with flights from Zheng Zhou to Nanjing at a seriously discounted rate from the cheapest i could find on chepoair.com. Then she proceeded to fix us up with travel for the 4 hours to Zheng Zhou for the stunning price of 20rmb total for both of us. This girl is a marvel of connections and influence. Its to bad we have to move away from her comfort area.
So these last couple of days in Handan are basically enjoying ourselves and each other and doing basically nothing. For instance today I was forced to suffer through having 3 beautiful chinese ladies cooking lunch. What did they make you ask? Well nothing less than world class home made DUMPLINGS!!!!!!!
Yes thats right I have my very own personal dumpling maker complete with on demand accessories ( the friends heheh). Fantastic eating I have to say and there was plenty left over for supper too. Now supper was a real eye opener.
As many guys know when the chinese go to someone elses home for a meal they always bring something. Whether it be mandarin oranges, bananas, potatoes etc its usually something to contribute to the meal. Another fun thing is all the ladies then congregate in the kitchen and cook together. So here I was the only male in a house with six chinese ladies being waited on hand and stomach. Nothing like being the master of my domain heheh. Fantastic food everything from dumplings to fish, tomatoes to stuff I have no name for, and surrounded in beautiful eye candy. Ahh such a treat for the senses.
Much laughter and fun was had and also much grilling of the Lao wei about how he plans on looking after their friend Zhen. After it was over one of them said I was the wonderfullest NINI ( her words through the Besta) that she had ever seen and how great I was for Zhen. Seems my Zhen positively glows with love and happiness and they all see it in her. Makes me the proudest happiest guy in the world too to know that her friends love her so much to care so about her and that they are happy for us.
So for all you guys who wonder if its all worth it and the cost etc, well let me tell you one meal of home made dumplings surrounded by your lady and her friends and there is absolutely no doubt you will realize the truth. You will never be treated so well by so many for so long as you will when you are totally committed to a chinese lady. Her friends are fiercely protective of her and will not allow her to come to harm. Show them ( and her family of course) your true intentions for her and assuming that she is in agreement with them you will be accepted and loved just like one of their own. Its quite amazing listening to these ladies sizing you up in chinese right in front of you and you even kinda know you are the subject of conversation, and then realizing that they are all happy for you and your lady.
So in a couple of days Zhen and I leave Handan and all of our friends and family. Zhen has given up her job and her friends to move with me to Wuhu. Obviously a huge leap of faith for her since we are not yet married but we both know that nothing in this world short of death will ever seperate us. So for both of us we gave up everything we know to be with each other and start a new life together. We will of course return to Handan when school breaks and holdays allow to visit family and our friends.
Am I worried about taking Zhen away from everyhting she knows to go with me to a job I have virtually no experience, in a country that I do not speak the language and barely have a grasp on some of the customs? Taking her quite a ways from her network and family and home town? You bet I am worried. Yes I have made an even greater leap of faith than she has, but I have the financial resources to do it and still land on my feet if it falls apart. If it does backfire, Zhen has given up everything and since competition for jobs is so fierce for them she truly has given me her all and I am truly humbled at her depth of committment to us.
For all you brothers on the journey to finding your true love in china I offer a few words of advice, or wisdom or crackpot ramblings whichever way you choose to see them. Remember that behind the translators and emf's are real live ladies, who are searching for a man to live the rest of their life with. In many senses they are innocent and almost childlike in their views of the west and the men who write to them. Please do not toy with them or play games with them. Give them all the love you have to give and you will be blessed with the best wife any man could ever hope to find. Also keep in mind that fragile as they may appear they are tough as drill sergeants when they need to be so dont do anything you will regret later.
Treat them with love and respect and honour, give them your total committment and you will receive at the very least exactly what you put in, and more often than not so much more that we ever deserve. Yes when you begin this journey through emf's and hopefully suppement with skype or msn, emails and telephone calls, its sometimes difficult to figure out true feelings and emotions, what is real and what is translator fluff, is she a player or is she serious. Some guys advocate getting off emf;s as soon as possible but I disagree. Everyones situation is different so blanket statements do not work. After my first trip to china Zhen and I started doing a webcam every day, yet we also continued with emf's everyday. There was just so much important stuff to discuss that we could not leave it to online translators to get right. We both trust not only the agency we deal with but also our translator. W e have come so far so fast in part through the great help from said agency and translator and I would and have recommended them to anyone who cares to listen including CHNlove. So despite all the negative things we have seen on these forums lately I am here to attest that good things are also happening and with the agency and translator helping the way they are supposed to. Hopefully others can have the fantastic experiences that I have had and find that one woman in the world that you just cannot stand to be parted from and will move heaven earth and even hell itself to be with. Does it sound like I am in love with a wonderfull woman? Too right I am and blissfully completely and totally happy about it too.
I have had two failed marriages already, so my marriage to Zhen will be my third. Its gonna sound funny but this time it feels so right on so many levels that I never even knew existed before that it is impossible for this one not to be " till death do us part". We both have given up our established comfortable safe life to take the leap into the great unknown to be with each other. Will we fall and be lost or be triumphant in our shared love and happiness? We choose to believe the latter, and with each others help and love and support we will be successful. If we stumble we have each other and our love for each other to pick us up and keep us going. Will there be hard times and issues and problems? Of course, what marriage doesnt have these things. But they wil only succeed in bringing us even closer together and deepening our love for each other.
So to steal a couple of lines from famous movies.....
Zhen and Brian to boldly go wher no one has gone before...... also..
Do or do not there is no try.... and one last one...
An address is just geography...
Life is about making the choice and following through. Working through the trials and tribulations perils and successes, heartache and heartfelt joy and happiness. Zhen and I have chosen to see this journey called life through to the end together. I sincerely wish for every brother here to find in there own life the happiness and love that Zhen and I now share together.
Be safe my friends, Live long and Prosper, Make it so,
Zhen and Brian.
PS the quotes are of course from Star Trek and Star Wars. The geopgraphy quote I will let you guess which movie its from.
