Hi Gents,
Thank you for your responses, I know it is all good advice and getting away from EMFs is the way to go IMHO so we can develop and nurture our relationship, afterall we have to communicate by ourselves but we can still use EMF if and when necessary. One thought that came to mind is how are we going to get on when I am in China, we have got to make a start. Yesterday, I saw that she had replied ( for some reason my spirit sank as I could guess what the letter contained ). Sure enough I get the impression she still wants to go the EMF route, but I feel she has left the door open if I can provide a solution ( am I reading too much into this? ). I told her I still want to write but not via Chnlove and I will not back down from this. My view is that we are not helping ourselves if we rely on EMFs all the time because we are not learning to communicate as a couple. All the work is done by and under the control of the translator in the conveyance of ideas / concepts / information. EMFs help us to learn about each other via another person and that will be subjected to that person's outlook / personality. IMHO ( sorry if I have repeated myself here, it's been a very long day ).
I have posted her reply regarding my issue
I'm a member of the agency which locates in Beijing, and our translator belong to the agency, not CHLove, I'm also one member of the site, because the agency helped me to, so if you asked question here, our translator can read it, if you leave somewhere else, she won't read. I know you have to pay money for reading and writing every letter and I also paid ahead of time, I believe the site is a legal one and they provide a good platform for us to know each other, don't you think so?
( this is exactly half of the letter she sent me in reply to my letter of 6000 characters whereby I explained in detail the reasons for my decisions and actions yet she does not give me any insight to her reasons, sometimes I really wonder if it is the translator that I am conversing with )
I am not questioning her agency and know that the translator belongs to the agency, it is the website that I have grief with regarding business practice and of controlling their affiliates ( I have already told her this). I do believe from what I saw on a thread that there may be an email box at the agency ( her email box at the agency? ) which I could write to.
She has sent pictures of her apartment and computer ( I am sure I saw a webcam too ), she lives in Yubei and travels a 20 minute taxi ride to her clothes shop ( I have no idea where it is ).
Gentlemen, what I fail to understand is why the reluctance / unwillingness for direct communication, why is she sticking like glue to the agency? She has her own computer so what is the problem? Am I viewing this incorrectly?
I re-read all the letters she sent and one thing she said previously about her view of being together as a couple did cause me some concern regarding suitability (what she said gave me the impression that she may be lazy at times). Her letters were always short, direct and sometimes questions never were answered. I might be seen as being negative here but upon re-reading the letters I really do not feel that there is any real chemistry and that is why I wanted direct communication to see if I could break past that wall of business like replies ( maybe it is the translator or maybe not). I always felt that she was busy with other things. I just feel that this relationship is not progressing after reading other people's stories.
Robert,
Unfortunately I have not had the occasion for anything like that. I wanted to ask but have never asked for any other contact details after she knocked back the idea of direct communication. I guess she must get my translated letters via email, she used to live in Beijing and has cousins there. I absolutely agree that I am just an email ( as she is to me ) that is why I wanted a direct contact so that we become more than an email. I am 52 and she is 37. I hope to be there mid December but will be taking a job in Xi'an if contract works out, they want teacher asap. Thank you for your offer my regards to you and Ying.
Brett,
Will do if the chance presents itself but I seriously don't hold any hope given the knock back of my earlier request.
About the 8% GDP I agree things are tough in China but somehow they survive.
Ted,
I know you are right and those are my thoughts too. Don't worry about negative thoughts as I have those about chnlove and this is why I want out of their website. The incident about the admirer mails really pis***d me off.
Jim,
Read it a while back and again just recently, I am sure someone mentioned about sister agencies in Beijing. Your opinion is bang on! I do intend to try another direction but failing that then unfortunately it will have to be another lady. I need mental and emotional stimulation just like anybody else otherwise there is no point.
Ed W,
That is how I reckon my/our path will be with communication and I have no problem in that, it makes the journey worthwhile.
Thank you for the tip about the central email box at the agency,( I am sure David5o also mentioned something similar a while back).
My next letter will suggest that there should be an email box at the agency which I could send my letters to, for her to read. If there is no joy with that idea then I will probably end this relationship, should that happen then it is best to wait until I am in China and meet ladies face to face.
Anyway thank you for your answers and good luck to you and your ladies.
Mark