Author Topic: When is the right time to get off EMFs?  (Read 5612 times)

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shaun

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2009, 08:08:27 am »
David E,

You are right in that a woman if she is interested will show you her true feelings I do not care what nationality she is. How she goes about it is determined by her upbringing and personality.

I think there are two things going on when it comes to the agencies.  The first is what Willy said.  Each woman is being written to by many men and the woman have heard it all before so they use caution and keep their options open to maximize the opportunity to marry. I am sure they are told that the shotgun approach is the best method of finding a husband. The women realize that 1 out of 1000 will be the man and they have to go through the 1000 to get to him.

Cherry Blossom has opened my eyes to that. One of the benefits of being on that site is that you can choose a friends list. If a person uses it wisely they can see how long a chosen female is on the site doing whatever. If they send you a smile to initiate conversation rather than responding back put them on your friend list and watch them a few days. You have to realize that they are talking to other men and you should not get your knickers in a knot. Once you understand the game then if you are still interested you send them a letter and proceed slowly. If you are patient they will invite you to have an IM conversation with them on that site. And again you will need to realize they may be having two or three conversations at one time.  Men it is like catching a fish with the right bait. Patience. You ignore the others, you do not mention them but you keep talking. I've got one that appears to be talking with me only now.  She appears contacts me, talks with me a couple of hours and the disappears.  She was out the 5 hours at a time when I first started tracking her.  Another started coming on like gang busters yesterday.  This morning she tells me she will get a web cam tomorrow so that we can see each other as we talk. She is now pursuing me.  We'll see.

I bet you thought I forgot point two. I am a preacher, we NEVER forget our points. I think the agencies use scare tactics to keep the women under their wings. These women put their total trust in the translator. They want a husband but are afraid they will get one like the  Chinese husband they divorced.

I think this was Pinky's problem. The only reason I broke it off with her was because of the translator. Daily still I think I would like to go to China and get the agency manager and have him take me to Pinky's restaurant and meet her on my terms. Get and independent translator and with all of the letters sent and received have that translator read them to her. I would sit there and watch her expression. When she realizes that she has been deceived then start talking with her. I don't know.

If a person understands these two issues and learns the sites they choose to look at women on I think they can find what they are looking for.  David please keep us updated on your search on ShifuLem. It may provide another key into getting to the core of finding a way around controlling and manipulative translators.

Men you must keep this in mind though, the ONLY way to be SURE of anything is to GO TO CHINA. It cannot be done from the coziness of your home. One needs to realize that all we are going through is an exercise in becoming more informed so that we can make a better choice before going to China. But even with that you may end up empty handed the first couple of trips.

Shaun
No one has said this I think but the right time to get off EMF is to never get on.  That said and being totally unreasonable 20 EMF's should suffice. That is 10 from you and 10 from her.  But understand, the agencies will not allow this to happen. The only way is if the woman is on the same page as you and is ready to make the move.

My advice is to look around other sites to see if she is there.  You might be able to break through.  But to do the same thing over and over and over again is insane.  You've come this far and ventured beyond what most men only dream of so reach out a little further and see if you can find her somewhere else. Even though I am talking with other women I am still looking elsewhere for Pinky.  Can't help myself.

Shaun
« Last Edit: November 15, 2009, 09:00:07 am by shaun »

brett

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2009, 12:03:29 pm »
Hah! I write some total rubbish sometimes. But I guess the point I am trying to make is that generally people under 40 can't live without technology and I guess most ladies in this age bracket have access to QQ. Of course this is generalist rubbish, as my 60something year old mother is computer literate enough to have a facebook account, and my lady's 50something year old mother knows how to use QQ on my lady's PC.

But I guess the point I am trying to make is that newbie brothers who have not visited China should not put up with ladies who are unwilling to talk outside of EMFs.

Another point I'd raise is that any lady who works in an office will probably have QQ or something similar installed, or at the very least will have an email address. I know from seeing it myself that if the boss is not in the office the workers shutdown Excel and open up all manner of non-work related goodies :icon_cheesygrin:.

shaun

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2009, 07:16:52 pm »
The only problem is Jim, they are not on chnlove!!!! :@:icon_cheesygrin:

At least that is what they want you to think. :dodgy:

Shaun

shaun

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #18 on: November 15, 2009, 11:17:33 pm »
Guys,

I have had the most incredible weekend. I have been communicating with 4 women at Cherry Blossom. One told me she was with the same agency I left P218. She is incredibly beautiful and quite enticing but in a modest way.  She old me she did not need a translator though. No communication this weekend.  Another told me she didn't used an agency and had a computer at home she used. Her English was almost perfect. Again she disappeared this weekend without warning. Both I presume with an agency since they are closed on the weekends.

The third went on vacation Thursday to Beijing.  She told me about this prior to leaving.  She is also not a part of an agency and English is food.

The fourth.  Her English is terrible, grammar horrible and spelling atrocious.  Looks average to pretty. She writes me a little every day and I respond back and tell her some.  I do not give her much hope of being the one.  Then about Wednesday she comes on like gang busters. We have been sending emails back and forth 4 times a day.  Saturday she says, "how about a web chat?"  What?  A woman suggesting a web chat?  She tells me that she has a sister that is married to an America that lives in Utah and they are happy together.  She wants and American husband.  So I ask her if she has a web cam? She replies, "I will get one tomorrow."  Wow.  Tonight we start chatting on yahoo 30 minutes early and talk about 2 hours. Now I've heard this before when most of you say your woman is much prettier when you meet her than the pictures were. I am kind of cynical and I say to myself "yea right."  But guys she is much more beautiful that the pictures on the internet.  She has long straight black hair all the way down to her, you got it, that beautiful curvy part we all like to look at. Just the way I like it. She plays with it the whole time we are talking. Just the way I like to see a woman do.

Guys I am smitten. I am on cloud 9 and i need to go to sleep but I cannot.

She does her own translating.  She can read English but cannot speak it. S o I watched her translate and research when she didn't know. She is actually a very smart woman.  Here is best part as far as this thread is concerned. We have shared about 20 emails. we didn't start with EMF and will never migrate to it.  What a way to go. I am talking with her and no translator. It is absolutely wonderful.

Guys I do not see myself ever going back to chnlove.  You can find them another way.  It takes a little research and patience.  Is she the one for me?  I don't know but she has a very good chance. I for one think this is the best way.  Is she with an agency?  At this point don't know and don't care as long as the translator does not interfere.

Where there is a will, there is a way and it has to be both people making the journey to each other.

Shaun
« Last Edit: November 15, 2009, 11:18:57 pm by shaun »

Offline chen yan

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #19 on: November 16, 2009, 01:33:44 am »
Quote from: 'shaun' pid='22960' dateline='1258345053'

Guys,

The fourth.  Her English is terrible, grammar horrible and spelling atrocious.  Looks average to pretty. She writes me a little every day and I respond back and tell her some.  I do not give her much hope of being the one.  Then about Wednesday she comes on like gang busters. We have been sending emails back and forth 4 times a day.  Saturday she says, "how about a web chat?"  What?  A woman suggesting a web chat?  She tells me that she has a sister that is married to an America that lives in Utah and they are happy together.  She wants and American husband.  So I ask her if she has a web cam? She replies, "I will get one tomorrow."  Wow.  Tonight we start chatting on yahoo 30 minutes early and talk about 2 hours. Now I've heard this before when most of you say your woman is much prettier when you meet her than the pictures were. I am kind of cynical and I say to myself "yea right."  But guys she is much more beautiful that the pictures on the internet.  She has long straight black hair all the way down to her, you got it, that beautiful curvy part we all like to look at. Just the way I like it. She plays with it the whole time we are talking. Just the way I like to see a woman do.

Guys I am smitten. I am on cloud 9 and i need to go to sleep but I cannot.


Shaun


Shaun,be careful the gang busters hijack your heart.haha~:icon_biggrin:

Quote from: 'David E' pid='22918' dateline='1258282427'


A final thought

Would Chen Yan...our latest Lady member, care to tell us how she would see her relationship with a western man develop ?/.....How would she feel about moving to a face-to-face web-cam situation, would she want to do this early, would she NOT want to do this.

I am sure dear Lady that we would all like to hear your opinion about what we are saying here about honesty in communication

Thank you

DavidE


Sorry for my late reply,I just see this thread today.And thank you david for asking my opinion.
In my opnion,The reluctance / unwillingness for direct communication maybe means that her English is very poor ,But also a sign that she is not that into you. Like you said,her letter is always business type,and letter are always short and seldom answer your questions. The worst possibility is a scam to make you spent money .
 she has her own computer means she must has a private mailbox and QQ(she use it to chat with her Chinese friends,why donn't chat with you),and it is very easy to meet each other even if she donn't need to speak English in the webcam.if she is really interesting in you , she cann't wait  to meet you too,she will suggest you to use webcam initiative like Shaun's gangster lady :icon_cheesygrin:.
Three month is long enough,Donn't waste your time anymore, move on
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 02:06:08 am by chen yan »
Love ,Joy ,Peace~

shaun

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #20 on: November 16, 2009, 06:22:52 am »
Thank you Jim and Chen Yan.

A gangster lady?  Be still my heart.  When do I leave?  I guess this means we could be in gangster love, in gangster land, with gangster Suzy and gangster Sam.  Oh wait that song is muskrat Suzy and muskrat Sam.  Hehe.  :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

From the gangster world,

Shaun

Offline Johnboy

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #21 on: November 16, 2009, 07:35:59 am »
Thank you Chen Yan!

I was about to add my voice to DavidE's request for your opinion about this matter, but you have preempted that with your reply in words of absolute wisdom and clarity.  And what better person can they have come from than a young, beautiful, obviously intelligent and sensitive, Chinese woman?  Please forgive me if I embarrass you, but the sincerity and sensitivity of the words in your posts leap from the pages - and you also have a very gentle sense of humour: "Marry her Danny, marry her, marry her, marry her!"  I thought that was so lovely (and also what Danny wanted to hear!).  Just what this Forum needs; a woman's vision, thoughts and intuition.  Your contribution is already proving to be invaluable and, I believe, will become even more invaluable as time goes on.  I remember when you first posted here you were worried that members would laugh at your English; I did warn you then - and here we are, seeking your advice!:icon_biggrin:  I think the mods should put a few points on your reputation.......  Thank you again Chen Yan.

I also want to take this opportunity to comment on DavidE's post, as I believe that what he has said is utterly right and self-evident simplicity in itself: It is in a woman's genes to let a man know if she is interested in him, and if she likes him she will find a way to let him  know, and always has done so from time immemorial - think of Eve offering Adam her apple ( hoho, non-believers, just an example!).  I often read David's posts and reflect on why I didn't think of what he has written; and his latest point is spellbindingly simple in its truth.  I accept there are the difficulties of translator fluff and, in many cases, downright dishonesty, to overcome where EMF's are concerned and that it's almost impossible to know what the translator leaves out or puts in.  But once it becomes clear that the person you are writing to does know that you would like to move to direct communication; QQ, webcam, private email etc and is unwilling or reluctant to do so, it must be apparent that she is not sending out a signal that she likes you - quite the opposite in fact - but as Chen Yan puts it, "that she is not into you".  Therefore, if you have not asked for some form of direct communication you may assume (rightly or wrongly), from what you read in (translator influenced) EMF's, that the person you are writing to likes you, but you can not know.  The acid test of that would  obviously appear to be whether she is prepared to engage in direct communication or not - and, as Chen Yan says: "If she is really interested in you, she can not wait to meet you."  I think, therefore, that David and Chen Yan have provided the answer to Mark's dillemna.

To return to David's point, and to finish on topic.  I have known many wonderful and beautiful women, and been involved in countless enthralling relationships in my relatively short lifespan (no, this is not John's boast post!) and David is absolutely right: if a woman is interested in you, or likes you, she will find a way to let you know.  She will also let you know when that interest has dimmed and when it has finally died.  I'm quite a sensitive person and I have usually been able to pick up on those signs when they have occurred in my relationships (yup, got to admit there have been times) but the fact is, that until I read David's post on this issue, I had not applied this simple self-evident truth to my Chnlove relationship - albeit that I have only ever written to, or wanted to write to, one person on Chnlove, so in that respect I am a complete novice where internet relationships are concerned.  How foolish and unknowing can one be? And what David has written - and Chen Yan has confirmed - has gone a long way to providing the answer to my doubts and uncertainties.  In my opinion, the guiding principle unearthed in David's post ranks alongside Maxx's 24 hour rule and should be called to mind in the same way when doubts and dillemnas arise.  

Many thanks to you both!!!

John                

Ps.  David, if I didn't know better I would swear you were a Brit masquerading as an Assie...............hahaha.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 07:49:43 am by Johnboy »
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to say nothing.  (Edmund Burke)

David5o

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #22 on: November 16, 2009, 08:54:01 am »
Johnboy,


Your right, ....he is a Brit, a welsh Brit, that's now calling himself an Aussie. But i guess he's been there long enough to justify his Aussie credentials!! ...hahaha!!

David

shaun

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #23 on: November 16, 2009, 09:09:17 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='22992' dateline='1258379641'

Johnboy,


Your right, ....he is a Brit, a welsh Brit, that's now calling himself an Aussie. But i guess he's been there long enough to justify his Aussie credentials!! ...hahaha!!

David


:huh: I thought he was from Oklahoma on furlough in Australia. :huh:

Shaun

Offline Johnboy

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #24 on: November 16, 2009, 09:37:36 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='22992' dateline='1258379641'

Johnboy,


Your right, ....he is a Brit, a welsh Brit, that's now calling himself an Aussie. But i guess he's been there long enough to justify his Aussie credentials!! ...hahaha!!

David


Oh no! Oh yes!  I just knew it, I must be clairvoyant.  Do we have any Wesh Dragon flags in the flag locker that we can put up for him?

Great idea: next time Shaun joins another site he can register using David's picture and Vince's name! Hahaha

Yacki Dah boyo.......
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to say nothing.  (Edmund Burke)

Offline Irishman

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #25 on: November 16, 2009, 11:36:27 am »
Maybe we need a three month rule alongside the 24hr one?!
FWIW I reckon if things are not getting romantic and talking about visitation after three months then probably it never will.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline markymark

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #26 on: November 16, 2009, 03:38:34 pm »
Hello Brothers and sister(s)
First of all thank you for the banter (fun) on this thread it is all good stuff, Johnboy you are such a wordsmith, mind you Anne Hathaway with words and so do you, it is almost Shakespearian. Seriously I do enjoy the eloquence that I have seen displayed on this forum. It is refreshing to see how thoughts are put together and expressed in writing. Everyone wether eloquent or not has something to contribute from their experience. I think everyone of us in some way has a part of the overall picture about the machinations, practices ( good and bad ) and the agendas of chnlove, agencies and translators. Obviously some experiences are positive and some are not so positive. I seem to have read about more of the latter than the former. I personally think it is cruel of some translators to keep milking EMFs for whatever reasons are possible. Doing this may mean you are being distracted and could miss the opportuniy of corresponding with someone who may be your possible suitor. As in my case I do not think I will ever know for certain about the real intentions/ feelings of the lady I was writing to or if it was all controlled by the translator, maybe my lady only got snippets of what I actually wrote which in turn would have caused how much interest she would have shown. I have always tried to get past this aspect of translator control but this intention / desire would have to be shown equally by the person you are writing to. So maybe we should advise all people to get off EMFs as soon as possible or maybe not go that route as in Shaun's case. I think the language barrier is one of the greatest problems when faced with internet dating because of the fear of being misunderstood and of the frustration in working out what has been said if you use complex sentences in the translation tools. It can be a daunting task but if you work hard for something then you appreciate it all the more if you attain your goal.
I made a mistake by concentrating too much on trying to find a way of getting away from the control of the translator's input and of trying to work out how much actual input came from the lady I was writing to rather than reading between the lines to see what amount of interest my lady actually showed in me. I did see a coulpe of red flags and proceeded with caution which is why I never went into detail about future plans for marriage etc. IMHO 3 months is much too long to rely solely on EMFs and when my request was rejected I should have moved on at that point in time. Getting onto direct communication has been raised before and should be heeded IMO.
These " machinations " of Chnlove and its agencies and their translators will never stop because it is a money making machine. As always there will be new members joining who are unaware of what goes on therefore keeping this machine well oiled.

Thank you to everyone and to our resident "sister" Chen Yan, it is nice to have your input and opinion, I am sure your advice will be invaluable to many members.

I have now moved on and hope all goes well for Xi'an.
"You'll like this, not a lot" Paul Daniels

Offline David E

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #27 on: November 16, 2009, 03:53:24 pm »
Quote from: 'shaun' pid='22994' dateline='1258380557'

Quote from: 'David5o' pid='22992' dateline='1258379641'

Johnboy,


Your right, ....he is a Brit, a welsh Brit, that's now calling himself an Aussie. But i guess he's been there long enough to justify his Aussie credentials!! ...hahaha!!

David


:huh: I thought he was from Oklahoma on furlough in Australia. :huh:

Shaun


OK you lot !!!....In truth I am a devious Welshman who lived in England for a while, went all over the world for 15 years with my Dad who was an RAF Pilot and then migrated to Australia...so I am an international hotch-poch....but devious enough to keep both Brit and Aussie passports :):):)

I only ever once went to the US of A..it was to Pittsburgh, when I worked for Alcoa........this has obviously given me a very distorted view of America.......Pittsburgh was bloody awful....is the rest of the place like that ????

Cant make up my mind whether I prefer roast beef and Yorkshire pud...or Szechuan hot pot...or leek soup....but I'm working on it !!

But in all my long life, in all my world travels, in all my incredible adventures...there is ONE fundamental truth I have learned........

YOU CANT BEAT A GOOD PINT OF ENGLISH BITTER.....PERIOD !!!!

I have invested much money and countless brain cells exploring this anomaly...and it is the most fundamental truism in life :):)

DavidE

Vince G

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #28 on: November 16, 2009, 03:59:53 pm »
Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh? you can't view the US based on that place. Every State has one bad city and for PA That's the one place.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 04:00:16 pm by Vince G »

Offline markymark

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RE: When is the right time to get off EMFs?
« Reply #29 on: November 16, 2009, 04:03:28 pm »
Quote from: 'abigbutt' pid='23023' dateline='1258390507'

Quote from: 'Irishman' pid='23022' dateline='1258389387'

Maybe we need a three month rule alongside the 24hr one?!
FWIW I reckon if things are not getting romantic and talking about visitation after three months then probably it never will.

Irishman,

Great suggestion!!! I would up the ante...to one month! The ladies, that truly want this, will be willing! At the same time, we all understand the word patience...one month is not unreasonable, under the right circumstances!:icon_biggrin:


Darn it Jim, you are so blunt it hurts!!!! ha ha ha.

To be fair it was because of your earlier posts of when you were in Chang Sha that I actually decided to try for direct communication. You were having such a ball there! Glad it worked out for you.
I asked for direct communication after I had been writing for 2 months and got knocked back probably because I thought she may have considered it to be too early or whatever. I waited for a little while longer ( big mistake!!! ) thinking she may be more sure of me and then asked again, as I wanted to be sure in my own mind that I was correct in walking away if she refused. I have moved on with a clean conscience. There will not be a next time for that to happen as I think 1 month IS ENOUGH to know for sure.

Good luck Jim it is all good.

Hey Irishman, great to see you are having a ball good luck to you and your lady, she's a cracker and you have pulled, nice one.
Quote from: 'David E' pid='23054' dateline='1258404804'

Quote from: 'shaun' pid='22994' dateline='1258380557'

Quote from: 'David5o' pid='22992' dateline='1258379641'

Johnboy,


Your right, ....he is a Brit, a welsh Brit, that's now calling himself an Aussie. But i guess he's been there long enough to justify his Aussie credentials!! ...hahaha!!

David


:huh: I thought he was from Oklahoma on furlough in Australia. :huh:

Shaun


OK you lot !!!....In truth I am a devious Welshman who lived in England for a while, went all over the world for 15 years with my Dad who was an RAF Pilot and then migrated to Australia...so I am an international hotch-poch....but devious enough to keep both Brit and Aussie passports :):):)

I only ever once went to the US of A..it was to Pittsburgh, when I worked for Alcoa........this has obviously given me a very distorted view of America.......Pittsburgh was bloody awful....is the rest of the place like that ????

Cant make up my mind whether I prefer roast beef and Yorkshire pud...or Szechuan hot pot...or leek soup....but I'm working on it !!

But in all my long life, in all my world travels, in all my incredible adventures...there is ONE fundamental truth I have learned........

YOU CANT BEAT A GOOD PINT OF ENGLISH BITTER.....PERIOD !!!!

I have invested much money and countless brain cells exploring this anomaly...and it is the most fundamental truism in life :):)

DavidE


David,
        it sounds like you are a multi-national international if that makes sense. Don't worry it will after a few pints of real ale bitter and it is nice to have beer where they don't fill the glass with ice, England isn't hot enough anyway. Faggots and peas is a local dish here, no not those kind of faggots if you are thinking of American terminology. :s
All in all you can't beat a good Welsh choir, the best in the world IMHO.
" Mae hen wlad fy nhadau " for the people who are not from Cymru it means The land of my fathers.
Have fun. :icon_cheesygrin:
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 04:35:06 pm by markymark »
"You'll like this, not a lot" Paul Daniels