Author Topic: When You know it is just right  (Read 57205 times)

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shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #105 on: December 04, 2009, 10:07:08 pm »
Reginis,

Have not been yet.  Hope to soon.  We do about 5-8 hours a day on web-cam.  So I think we are getting to know each other very well.

Shaun
More children?  Heck no!!!!!!  Before the last one was born I had a full head of auburn hair with absolutely no gray in it.  He caused my hair to fall out and turn gray.

Anyway I will help her in trying to have children if she wants.  Heck I'll do it 10 times a day if necessary.  However I may not tell her I had a vasectomy.

Shaun
« Last Edit: December 04, 2009, 10:14:52 pm by shaun »

Offline RegnisTheGreat

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #106 on: December 05, 2009, 01:51:20 am »
shaun: I'm planning to go next September right now. I am kinda of short on cash after buying a condo and making a big down payment. The reason for September is that my grandmother turns 88 so I have to go. If you are in China then I'll hit you up.

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #107 on: December 05, 2009, 07:31:05 am »
Hi Guys,

Well, last night I went back and forth with what she was thinking.  Peggy has a great sense of humor.  She will need it with me.  I love to kidd people and she does too so in that regard we are perfect for each other.  We have had many discussions about various issues but last night it got extremely serious.  Her younger sister who is married to an American and they live here in the US has been coaching Peggy; I think.

Last night she caught me totally by surprise with this I am your wife thing.  I simply did not know what she was getting at but I sort of played along with it.  I would not use the word wife but I did tell her she was the one and only, that I loved her, that I thought we were perfect for each other.  You know, all the stuff that sounds like committing but not quite doing it.  It is not that I am willing to commit, I mean I am head over heals for her but we've not done a face to face and yes I know Jim, Maxx, and the others I need to get my butt over there.

The conversation then turned to financial issues. Man, I was on the examination table.  After about 90 minutes Peggy finally confessed that her sister had told her to get to the nitty gritty about where I was at financially.  All she wanted to know really was if I made over $20,000.00USD a year.  She could care less about anything else.  She said she knew she could not come if I made less. So I assured her that I made more than that so we are good.

Robert thanks for the info and yes webcam makes a huge difference. All of the concerns and all of the fears are reduced dramatically.  There is so much I can see and read from her as we talk.  Most of the time she does the translation with google.  She has 2 computer screens and a digital pad for writing on.  If she has had a rough day and she to tired to think then I do the translating. She actually does a much better job than I do.

Guys I can tell when the translation is wrong or when I say something she does not like and I can respond before she even asks the question.  We do not have to wait long to resolve issues, it happens right here and right now.  I know there are those who found the perfect mate without it but for me it is an absolute must.

Next on the agenda for me is to figure out how to set up for the future.  Peggy is a keeper.

Regnis, up over in China would be great. When I have nailed down everything I will let you know.

Ted, I have not forgot what you said about meeting Peggy.  She is not traveling much at the moment but I will encourage her to meet the both of you when she goes through Guangzhou. She grew up in Shaoguan, her children live there and she is contemplating moving back to work until I arrive.

Thank all of you for reading and commenting.  This helps me to make quality decisions.

Shaun

rockycoon

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #108 on: December 06, 2009, 12:13:14 am »
Shaun, was it her sister who insisted on the 20 grand or her (your girlfriend) who insisted on it?  You know real love is based on love and the desire to be together, not 20 grand.  Boy her sister is getting very personel with this, sounds like she got a well to do husband and has her nose in the air, but placing a price tag on your love is somthing else...just being a concerned friend....

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #109 on: December 06, 2009, 12:22:20 am »
Rocky , you will find that is part of the visa requirements , along with bank statements etc, better to be aware than be hit with a surprise later on  , regards Ying and Robert .
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shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #110 on: December 06, 2009, 12:25:20 am »
Quote from: 'rockycoon' pid='24723' dateline='1260076394'

Shaun, was it her sister who insisted on the 20 grand or her (your girlfriend) who insisted on it?  You know real love is based on love and the desire to be together, not 20 grand.  Boy her sister is getting very personel with this, sounds like she got a well to do husband and has her nose in the air, but placing a price tag on your love is somthing else...just being a concerned friend....

Rock,

Her sister know that oyu need to at least make $20,000UDS for her to get a visa to enter the US.  That is the only concern about the $20,000.  If you bring in less that to them there is no use in waisting her time trying to marry and enter the US.

Shaun

Offline RegnisTheGreat

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #111 on: December 06, 2009, 12:45:27 am »
Shuan: how the heck do you get time to spend 5-6 hours a day on the webcam? I mean with sleep, work, eating, bathrooms, etc? Do you like not sleep man? :)

rockycoon

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #112 on: December 06, 2009, 07:09:10 am »
Which visa are we talking about,the american or chinese and who looks at your bank account?  I suppose if your retired and making the big bucks with a social security check every month (ha ha ha) you might as well give it up huh? or is it the standard bribe fee charged by immigration.  
Please shaun or anyone explane this to me as this is the first I've heard of this, red envelopes yes, what "other" hidden fees have I missed?

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #113 on: December 06, 2009, 07:31:22 am »
Regnis,

I only sleep 4-5 hours a night.  I try to sleep more but I cannot.  I work 5-6 hours a day right now so I am home a lot.  I own a store so it had afforded me the luxury to work this kind of schedule.  However, the economy is so bad the store is loosing money right now. I hear on television that we have turned a corner and the economy is improving. Don't you believe it for one minute. People are not buying squat.  The government is lying and they know it. I know because I work for the government and they are still cutting back on everything.  OK enough about that rant.  I will not be able to live this way much longer.

Rock,

I first learned about the $20,000USD requirement on this site.  Maybe Arnold since he just went through it can post on this or start an new thread with the requirements for bringing a Chinese woman to the US.  My best guess is that they are looking for your W2 or tax return.

Shaun
« Last Edit: December 06, 2009, 07:43:45 am by shaun »

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #114 on: December 06, 2009, 09:51:42 am »
Shaun , just to add to your million mind thoughts , when and if you do get married to your wonderful lady your status in China changes , Peggy is a clever lady she will be able to find out for you if no other guy jumps on here , the Chinese ladies have a magic network of friends and can find anything out usually in minutes not hours or days like in the West , regards Ying and Robert .
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shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #115 on: December 06, 2009, 10:30:36 am »
Robert,

I am already finding this out.  Wow.  It is amazing how they network for resources.

Shaun

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #116 on: December 13, 2009, 09:08:23 am »
It has been a while since I updated what is going on between Peggy and me.  I am still talking with her twice a day and getting nothing done at home.  So I am going to suggest we drop off the am visit and bring back the pm one from the beginning time.  She comes out between 9:00 and 9:30.  Because I get up so early I like to go to bed around 9 and lights out at 10.  I am beginning to walk around like a zombie so something needs to change.  We stop around 11:00 to 11:30.

Peggy and I have talked about so many subjects so I just might do this by subject.

Moving to America
Initially Peggy asked me where I wanted to live and I responded I prefer American but I am open to different ideas.  She told me she did not want to leave China and would like to live in Shouguan in Guangdong Province where she grew up.  Her children live there and she wanted mt to teach in the university there.

Then one day she comes out and tells me she wants to live in the US.  It has been that way ever since. I guess little sister had a little talk with her.  The only thing I said when she suggested we live in Shouguan was that was an option that we needed to explore and that I was trying to be open minded.  I did suggest that Shenzhen might be a better place to live since it was a much larger city and we might find much better jobs there.  Also we could build an Export business much easier there.

Building a Business
I spoke with Peggy about the desire for me to build a business there, preferably an export business.  That chat got me a sit down meeting with her American bother in law.  He basically read me the riot act. Their concern was that I was using Peggy to make some contacts and build the business then dump her.  I said, "I see your point."  He went on to explain what a wonderful person Peggy was and that she would make an American man very happy and lucky if her married her.  He did give me some info about business in Shenzhen, then a few more warnings, and abruptly got off of the computer.  Next up was Peggy's little sister.

She was much kinder than her husband but had the same concerns and expressed them in a very diplomatic way.  I told her that I would not mention business again unless Peggy brought it up or I had confirmed plans to go there.  She accepted my reply.

About a week later Peggy began talking about business and it has been a portion of our conversation ever since.  On her own she went out and got the information needed to Export goods to America.  She came back overwhelmed and said there was no way we could make money exporting goods.  Her sister is to explain it to me some day soon.

We talked about other businesses we could start there.  One day I suggest that we start and internet dating agency with English classes as a part of the agency.  Man, I opened up a can of worms with that one.  She didn't like that idea at all.  Why?  I would be around other single women and tempted to cheat on her. We spent three full conversations on that one subject. I tried to explain that she did not need to worry that I had better self control than that.  Te subject ended when I said, OK we will not open an agency and I will not mention it again.  She is happy now.

Jealousy
This does cause me concern.  I am not sure what to make out of this.  She told me that if I teach English that she wants to be at every class.  I asked her was it because she wanted to learn English very well or was it because she wanted to keep me from the single women?  She only said yes.  Then one day she said that when we got married that she wanted to control the finances and she would not tell me if we were rich or poor.  I asked why?  She said that when men get rich they cheat on wifes and drink too much and leave them and marry younger women.

At first I was angry because she does not trust me. Then I thought that in reality that she has been done wrong by men and is trying to prevent that from happening again so I gave her an analogy.   I said, "not all men are like your ex husband, not all men cheat on their wife.  I told her that my wife managed all of our finances for 27 years and I was shocked when she turned over the books to me.  She spent all of the money we received and then some.  She paid late fees on about everything payment we had.  She left me with no money and all of the bills two months behind. From this I could say that I should not trust any woman with the finances of the family because they spend all of our money."  That was not word for word but I am too lazy to go back and look for the actual words.

Yesterday a regular female customer came into my store. She had not been there in about six months and when she walked in I almost didn't recognize her. She had lost 60lbs and men she was looking real good to me.  She is beautiful for a woman her age. 52.  She told me that she was going through a horrible divorce. She asked me where all of my jewelry was that I sold and I told her it went with my divorce.  She began to open up and talk about her divorce, she really cried; heavy sobs. I stood up from my chair, in the store and put both of my arms around her and held her tight. She absolutely broke down and dried for about 10 minutes it seamed.  She got makeup all over my shirt. I tell you what.  I am still fully functional. The putter did rise to the occasion so I twisted around a little so would not detect it.

When she stopped crying I gave her a few more kleenex. She apologized, I told her she didn't have to, she said, "I hope you do not get the wrong idea, I am not ready for another man."  I said, "I didn't think you were and anyway I am not on the market either, I thought you needed a friend to hug you, thats all."  If I told Peggy or she saw that she would go ballistic I think.  My ex wife would not have had a problem with that, she knew I would not cheat on her.  Of course I would have not hugged her for 10 minutes either.  I do hug women all the time but it is a brief hug.

I will have to continue this later.  I though about making this one a cliff hanger, there was the perfect place up one paragraph, butttttttt.... I will leave that to Scott and Ron.  I have not checked the grammar and left any hanging participles. I will make correction as needed later.  I need to head out into the wet and cold environment to open the store now. I thought I lived in Georgia not North Dakota. :icon_cheesygrin:

rockycoon

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #117 on: December 13, 2009, 07:50:32 pm »
And as soon as the lady left, shaun rushed into the bathroom and has not been seen since....LOL :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

brett

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #118 on: December 14, 2009, 05:15:10 am »
Shaun - don't underestimate the jealousy thing. My lady was not impressed when an unknown female added herself to my QQ. I was also not permitted to stand outside the store while my lady went shopping, presumably in case beautiful ladies should happen to walk past :icon_cheesygrin:.

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #119 on: December 14, 2009, 05:45:07 am »
Shaun , after your first face to face Peggy may become more relaxed , or if she finds you to handsome watch out for the handcuffs , ha ha , it seems at times that you have not read some off the other posts , whatever goes on you may think you are the head of the household , but the women are de BOSS , and yes they mellow as their trust levels grow .
 Until your first meeting nothing is set in stone , just as others have done after the first body contact then you can very quickly decide the future , with no procrastinating , even if if it means a quick trip to U.S.A. and back , regards Ying and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info