When You know it is just right

[shaun]

Shaun
To be perfectly honest with you...And I am only saying this a s a brother...Only you can decide what's right for you!!!

However, I know this may not apply, BUT I came I saw and hopefully I will conquer.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon  This to me was a life changing decision, (you know my sorry tale).:@  There is one thing I will say...I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY MIND NOW, I LOVE IT HERE and I have only been here nearly a week now.  I JUST hope nothing goes wrong!!!  It was the best decision I have ever made...BUT that's ME:icon_biggrin:

Rob,

Thank you for your kind words. Bro!!! :icon_biggrin:  But my head is hard enough that I will do only what is right as I see it.  The difference her is that I really like input from others. I like looking an situations from different perspectives. Once I have a few perspective I like to talk through them and into the possible future.  This drove my ex nuts.  I would tell her that I am sounding this out that is all.  But it helps me in making decisions.  People who do not know me well if I mistakenly sound something out to them will say I am wishy washy or double minded. But my closest of friends understand what I am doing and will talk with me about it.

I am at 3 different points right now.  1. Go see her and come back home.  2. Go see her, if all is good marry her and stay there until she gets her visa. (This is the one I am leaning toward right now.)  3. Move to China just like you did.

But I am open and watching and trying to put order to all of this data in my mind.  Rob you are one of the ones I am watching. But I guess you know that already.

Shaun

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Well Shaun you know my story so here is a brief undate.  In 5 days I will have been here a full month.  So far everything is going at least as well as I had hoped.

I have the love of my life at my side, our apartment is certainly big enough and is paid for by the school.  I have discovered that I have some skill as a teacher and that I am enjoying it.  Several students have told me that I am a good teacher and that my voice is easy to listen to with no accent.  My boss has also told me I am good and the students tell her I am popular.  Also my job pays a bit better than the average i saw before I arrived.

So all in all I have managed to make the leap of faith and not only land on my feet but came up smelling like roses and running full speed ahead.  ( hows  that for piling a bunch of metaphors into one huh?)

I find the people to be friendly and helpfull and the students have a genuine thirst for almost any knowlede you can share with them.  They love to learn.  Now what more can a teacher ask for?  

Anyway the point is I am having the time of my life and have no regrets at all about moving here.  Every issue I have encountered either Zhen has come up with the fix or we have worked it out together.  So all in all life is good for me in China.

So if you have half a mind to come to china thats all you need.  That and a plane ticket of course.  If you can swing the finances its not only a great way to cement things with your lady but you most certainly will learn a new appreciation for china and its people that all the posts on every forum on the net can never give you.  To see is to believe.

I honestly think if people saw the way the chinese live and work ,the conditions, the food, the utilities, the apartments, and yet at the same time the happiness the friendliness and the great work ethic they have you would truly question many things about life at home.  These people aas a rule find happiness in almost every situation and even the lowest paid worker gives tehir all everyday at work.  Can we from the west truly say the same?

So to close Shaun if you can possibly swing the trip I think it could well be one of the best decisions you will ever make, at least until you propose to that lady of yours.

Sincerely,

Zhen and Brian

PS as for the language, the more I am around Zhen the more language I pick up.  Also Zhen will often speak to me in chinese and although I do not know the words I understand what she means/wants.  My vocabulary is growing just by association.  Also keep in mind my actual chinese is very limited as is Zhens english yet we live together and rarely resort to the translator.

[shaun]

Brian,

Thanks for the encouragement. You are another one I am watching to see how it is going.  I would like to teach but Peggy really does not want me to.  She wants to work with me opening an export business.  She ran a soft drink distributors warehouse in Guangzhou and retired because she wanted to run her own business.  So now she says she is waiting for me to get there and start one.  That is a heavy load for me mentally but I have been truthful in telling her that I am not clear what I am wanting to do as far as living there or here.  She says she understands and will wait for my decision.  That to me is remarkable.  You would not find that in an American woman.  So I am moving as quick as I am comfortable with.

Shaun

[Rhonald]

Wow Shaun, I can really tell that I have not been following this form as close lately. Just finished reading this thread and I can say I am impressed. From the one person I thought as quite methodical and learned, I can feel the hidden energy of a youthful soul that wishes to make a grand gesture to the cosmos. Your gesture also shows the hidden wisdom that yes, prized possesions maybe, but sometimes a most treasured adventure requires an investment indeed.

[Vince G]

Shaun, I don't know if this will help but in my younger years I sold my boat and bought my first car. I thought I would get another boat someday? I'm still waiting on that? I sold my 71 Mustang race car that was built by the best available and me. Fastest car you would have seen on the street. I sold it to get married (#2). I always said I should have kept the car and dumped her? But life went on. If I had those things to sell now? for my china girl, I would in a instant. The plan right now is to get a new place to live, a newer van and go to China. Later what toys I want I will get.

[shaun]

Wow Shaun, I can really tell that I have not been following this form as close lately. Just finished reading this thread and I can say I am impressed. From the one person I thought as quite methodical and learned, I can feel the hidden energy of a youthful soul that wishes to make a grand gesture to the cosmos. Your gesture also shows the hidden wisdom that yes, priced possesions maybe, but sometimes a most treasured adventure requires an investment indeed.

Ronald,

I am humbled by your words. Thank you! Coming from you means a lot to me. I have alway aspired to write like a man by the name of John Eades who is not as well known as he should be but when you began writing about your most recent trip to China you became a real inspiration to me with your writing skills and you are placed right next to Mr. Eades as the two people I would like to write like.

Vince and Mike,

Thank you for saying what you did. I have and still struggle with the idea of selling some of my most prized possesions and you have made me realize that I am not along on this subject and that it is a worthwhile sacrifice to make.  What price are we willing to pay for true love? Today I have been thinking how utterly insane it is to struggle over an object that you derive satisfaction with over a human being  Especially one so beautiful, intelligent, and full of love to give back.  This next week since I am off again, the real reason to be a government employee, clean and prepare the items to be sold.  They can always be replaced at a later date.

Rob and Brian, Thank you for your kind words.

Jim, What can I say?  Never has a butt said fewer word that gets to the heart of the solution. And it didn't even smell! :icon_cheesygrin:

Thanks men,

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

Shaun,  I am now approaching six months here.   Yes there has been a lot of things that I could not bring here with me but have I missed those things.  Not one bit.  My life is now set in China.  I do not need all the trappings that I had in the UK.  

I am happier than I have ever been.  I am content to a level that I never thought was possible.  I am being treated like I was the King of England.  I wake up early every morning and think what new delight will I see today?  Never what am I going to do today.

Ok living here is not to everyones liking. But maybe I am of a different outlook in life.  I have found someone younger than myself who has a great many more reasons for wanting to stay in China than I have for wanting to stay in the UK.  

Personally I would not want to put someone through the pain of leaving all their loved ones thousands of miles away.  If a women has already gone through a divorce then that is a big thing in China for a women to be left high and dry and I would imagine it will be more of an upheaval for her to leave here than for me to leave the UK.

Exporting business are welcome here and there are a lot of opportunities for good English speakers in business.  Why do you think there are so many calls for English teachers.

In the end the decision will be yours but for me it was the best decison that I have ever made in all my sixty years.

Willy

[shaun]

Willy,

Thank you. It is a tough decision to make.  Peggy is 46.  She has 2 children and 1 grandchild. They all live there in Shenzhen.  She has a younger sister who lives in Utah.  My children are 24, 22, and 19.  The two older ones are finishing school in May and will go out into the work force.  The 22 year old has boy chasing her all over the place but her standards are high.  She is not a typical American female.  The oldest is a typical American female.  Both will find husbands soon and settle down.  They wanted to finish school soon.  This means I will be having grandchildren in the future.  My mother is 74 and even though she acts 40 - 50 she is beginning to slow down a little. Being the oldest child and having only one sister whose only son has Autism and Epilepsy she will not be able to take care of my mother if she gets sick.

Either way the decision is not easy.  So the compromise is the export business and living 6 and 6.  There is another possibility, her sister lives in Utah.  Is there a way Peggy could come to the US to see her sister for say 90 days.  While she is here she gets married and she gets her visa?

On another note.  I talked with Peggy for 3 hours tonight.  About the middle conversation I said something and she broke down and cried for quite a while.  It was kind of a relief and joyful cry but she was kid of embarrassed.  She is learning English on her own and her sister told her she needed to go to college and learn English or I would grow weary and leave her.  She said my sister said you will not like me.  It kind of angered me.  But I said, "Listen to me closely.  I LIKE YOU   I LIKE YOU    I LIKE YOU    I LIKE YOU."  I also told her that her English skills would improve but it did not bother me at all.  Then I said I would not leave because your English was not bad.  She broke bow and started crying.  Later she said she was grateful and now completely comfortable with me.  She used another word for comfortable.

Generally I do not handle women crying very well.  I wont go into details right now but I did pretty well with it.  I think she has made her decision.

Happy as a lark.  May have to put a photo on here.

Shaun

[Vince G]

There is another possibility, her sister lives in Utah.  Is there a way Peggy could come to the US to see her sister for say 90 days. While she is here she gets married and she gets her visa?

NO! NO! NO! First the 90 day visa is the fiancée visa. Second if she did get a visa to travel here and you married that's a big problem. That is why they are so careful giving this visa out. If they get a notion that there is a relationship about they pull the visa.

[David E]

Happy as a lark.  May have to put a photo on here.

Shaun

MAY have to put a photo...MAY

No way mate...GOTTA put a photo

David

[Willy The Londoner]

Shaun

When I met my present lady she had no English whatsoever.  Not even the usual counting 1 - 10.   But three months later we are still together and still as happy as we first was.  We get by.  She has picked up a lot of English and I a bit of Chinese but admit I do not put in the effort as she does.  

When we hit on a problem that neither of us knows the answer to then we dive for the translator.

Maybe I have a lot of patience - she certainly has with me - so I think the answer is consideration for each other.

Willy

[shaun]

Vince, I was hoping there was some kind of dispensation since Peggy already has a sister living here.  Kind of a two fer deal.

David E and Mike,  Photos, I don't have no stinking photos!  Whose idea was that? No really, she doesn't even have a photo shopped picture available.  Imagine?

Willy, I image you are the kind of man who does not need to know the language wherever you are.  You just have a way with people.

Shaun

[shaun]

Scott,

Thanks for your comments.  Peggy lives in Shenzhen.

[Willy The Londoner]

Shaun,

She is very, very nice.   She would not need a second thought from me but as you say there is a lot for you to consider before committing your self to China.

By the way is her other name Soo'  it is just i have the Buddy Holly song in mind 'Peggy Soo, My Peggy Soooooo etc etc.

Just wondering if they are flowers on her shorts?

I loved meeting women in flowering clothes - it made things much easier to tell them that I was allergic to flower pollen and they should take them off for my health sake!!!!!

Willy

PS Why can I no longer put smilies  into my postings?

[shaun]

Willy, Willy, Wily,

You are looking a little too close to her shorts.  Yes they are flowers and I am the bee right next to them protecting them from dirty old men like you. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Thank you for telling me about your allergy to pollen, when WE meet you I will make sure she is wearing something else to prevent your allergies from being aggrivated.  Wouldn't want to see you have a fit.  You know allergies to pollen is a sided effect to overdosing on Viagra. :icon_cheesygrin:

I just spent 4 1/2 hours talking with her and her sister. It is really tempting to go. All I can say is, What a woman.

Peggy Soo?  I have not thought of that one.  I'll have to work it up since I am a guitar player and singer. Puh  Puh  Puh  Peggy Sue  my Peggy Sue... :icon_cool:

Shaun

PS Because you looked a little too close to her flowers.  You lost the smiles just in time for Ronan to get back.