Ok guys, after reading all these threads I am forced to put my 2 cents worth in.
I think that perhaps it is wise to visit her first, after all you might decide then and there to marry, on the otherhand things can get different in person and so I say, take your time, visit for several weeks, get to know each other in person, and then sell the boat.
I'd have to seriously think about an aston-martin db. for instance, how many gals will fit in the front seat?....:icon_cheesygrin:
my house is cluttered also, she'd probably hang up just looking at the mess, besides if I could afford an aston-martin I should damn well be able to afford a house keeper.
but seriously, go visit first, seems like the best idea these guys have had so far, check out the schools and jobs while your there, you can probably squeeze right on in, if so, then so much the better.
I hate going somewhere I've never been and not know the "lay of the land", get to know the people, customs, your girlfriend, then make your decision, it's easier the second trip, because you already know where everything is and your more comfortable with your souroundings, and your relaxed.
And as to the "do you love me" every 5 minutes. She probably has had a really bad relationship in the past and is very shy, and kind of like myself very skeptical, not wanting to go through it agian. Best bet..forget the heater, send flowers instead...my motto is always been go straight for the heart, when you visit, then go shopping and then get the heater, let her pick it out.
and as always, be a good listener - girls love that. And good luck.....
Jim,
Peggy and I are talking about it. I would like to go but it will take a while to sell everything I need to sell. First thing I need to do is get off my butt and away from this computer. I am talking almost 4 hours 2 times a day with her. We need to cut it back a little. Plus if I walk I walk away from a pension I am less than one year from collecting at the earliest date. From this point if I can work 6 more years I will have access to a great medical program for the rest of my life.
There is much to consider and she agrees. As some have told me here and Peggy as well, I should come and check it out first before I make my final decision. My business stinks right now but the busiest time is from January - May IF it happens this year. June - September is not bad so I hate to walk from the good time because of the potential of making good money. The 1st of April I could put a sign up selling the store and by June it may be sold. I was going to do it this last weekend but my business mentor advised against it. He said you want to sell when business looks good and is about to drop. I don't understand this theory because as soon as they look at the financial they will see what I am doing. If I can see it I know a good businessman can too.
I have a pending legal issues that needs to be solved (not me being pursued). It kind of fell into my lap but it appears it will be worth the effort.
My two girls graduate in May; 1 with a bachelors and 1 with a Phd. Someone of this forum said f**k them you've done your job and it is time to live for yourself. All though I understand how they feel, I have invested too much into this to take that attitude. They have let me know that they need me there at their graduation.
I have a son entering the Air Force and should finish boot camp hopefully close to the time the girls graduate. He is waiting for a job before her enters.
I have worked for this moment for 25 years. I will not fritter it away so quickly. Would I like to? Yes and No. I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I know waaa... waaaa... waaaa... but there is too much going on to walk away from and again Peggy agrees with me.
IF we can make it to June I think we will have the best kind of relationship. If not? Well then I guess she was not the one.
So I will endure and look for ways to make it happen sooner.
Maxx,
She is taking more heat than you will know. She woke up this morning unhappy. It kills me to hear that. It makes me unhappy that I have to look at her on a 4 inch window when I really want to hold her.
I think her sister is pushing her to push me and is pushing her to move to the US. We talked for a while about it. she was so upset she said goodbye and signed out.
I am handling it the only way I know how. Trying to be funny all of the time.
I wish they would leave her alone and let things progress naturally.
Shaun
Shaun my friend, go visit and just the two of you go for a walk and talk things out, if there is love there, she will climb mountians for you and the pressure is released and you don't have to try to be funny, you already are, just be yourself.
