Hehe Ted, I'm 43 since Xmas, so 51 would be a bit high for me too.
Breaking up: Act 2
We had our planned QQ session today, I sort of got confirmation that she was worried about losing me in case she could not find someone better in the future, at the same time I know now that she does love me even if her ideal man is a bit different ... and that I don't love her anymore, or at least not enough to keep this going some more and taking the risk of being sort of a second choice for her.
So I wished her the best and said goodbye, I'm sorry that I made her cry in the end even though I tried hard not to, but she is definitely not for me.
Knowing her this might not be over yet, she might call me again in the next few days, but then again she might not, for me this is settled and it's time to move on.
Why this relationship failed:
Cultural differences played a small role in the failure of the relationship, one of the things she dislikes about me is how friendly I am with strangers, which of course produces easy contacts, making her feel unsafe as opportunities with other women arise. This actually happened once in the metro while she was with me. She also disliked the looks of other Chinese when we were out together, she unfortunately has a lack of self confidence which I will attribute to her social background and history, she had a hard farmer's childhood and started work very early to support her parents after her father was disabled in an accident. She worked herself up the ladder and picked up studies to finish school and is completing a degree now, a tough life with many challenges and too much of a responsibility burden at a young age, which developed an inferiority complex in her. She constantly has to prove her valor and refuses any help, her ex bf apparently accepted her that way and obeyed her every command or desire, something that I did not do. And while she realizes that this is not normal, it was difficult for her to include her partner in her plans. I also believe that she missed teenager years due to factory work and studying at the same time, explaining why she is not good at expressing or feeling love, a big no no for an affectionate and romantic guy like me. I was frequently left wondering how she felt about me, and I only got proof of her love in the last few days.
I was almost going to add age difference in the list of issues, but the correct term in this case would be maturity. I am exchanging with a 24 year old on a friendly basis and she is much more mature in many ways than my ex.
A summary of what happened to me could be as follows: Wonderful translator EMFs got this started, hormones let a different reality pass unnoticed, but reality caught up with my feelings once the hormones calmed down a little.
I firmly believe this could have been avoided if a direct contact had been established much sooner. My ongoing strategy will be firm in this direction, if there is no direct contact after a maximum of 5 EMFs, I will drop the project ... and I will use Cherryblossoms again in parallel, finding an English speaker seems really majorly important, I met another girl who had almost no English in the past and I don't see how one could establish an indepth understanding of one another, unless you're really lucky like some on this forum seem to be.
The good news is that I got a lovely cupid note reply from a lovely lady, so I will go and investigate her QQ number :icon_cheesygrin:
