Jeff, I was certainly fickle at that age. I met a 23 year old French girl at a friend's dinner party, very attractive. She was all over me and we spent most of the evening getting to know each other ... and although she was sweet and smart I let it be, the age difference was just too great I guess and this was over 2 years ago, wow time flies actually. I already asked her about what her parents would think, she said they would be happy if she is happy, either very modern parents (who could be close to my age), or wishful thinking ... hmm
There is a good Chinese to English online translation tool, it was mentioned on the forum, does anyone remember where I can find it? The one with Chinese user interface ....
Frank
Wishful thinking. I am not trying to be negative, but my advice is go with that first, so you are not surprised if all of a sudden one day that what it turns out to be. I asked the same exact thing Frank, and got the same exact answer. When push comes to shove the girl will buckle under family and friend pressure more times than not. They also very much care of their reputation and the family's reputation in their own neighborhood believe it or not. It's a face thing. Having said that go with it and let it play out. You never know, but most of the women that age are in no hurry. The answer I typically get is 1 1/2 to 2 years before they would feel good about getting married. I've talked to many in that age group, and have talked to other Chinese both men and women alike about how the younger ones think. Now if you're in no hurry then it isn't an issue. That's my two cents. I'm not an expert, but just going on what I've learned in being in a serious relationship with one and corresponding with many in their early to mid-twenties. Early for me is 23/24. I don't go younger than that lol. These women are late bloomers socially, as compared to women in the west at that age. As much as my ex was mature in many ways she would also show an immaturity of an 18 or 19 year old. I didn't let that bother me, as I believed she would grow out of it eventually and maybe sooner by being with me awhile. I still believe that can be the case in a similar situation. Personally I don't want to wait so long, because it is taking precious time and energy away from by business. Plus I factor in once the deal is done then the several month wait to get into the U.S.. Maybe France has a shorter time period for that. I don't know.
I agree and I too was fickle at that age. I was patient with my relationship, because that is how I thought too, and would still be my approach. I was fine with the flashes of immaturity. I remember some things I said and did at that age that were crazy when I looked back on it. You know it's funny Frank there are similarities in our experiences lol. When I started this process in China I didn't talk to any of the women below 28 at the youngest. Then I fell in love with a translator who was 23. Technically 22 at the time and graduating from a university. It took us both totally by surprise. How many times have you heard of how some couples ended up together. By surprise and least expected. That was our situation. We just had this chemistry that I can't explain. Her parents had money so I knew she wasn't after me for that. It took me several weeks to get the thought out of my mind of what will people think if I brought someone that young back to the U.S.. I mean I have a bit of a reputation to uphold was my thought at the time. I am a President of degree granting colleges, and most of my students are that age. It was too weird for me, but certain people whose opinion I value including one of my teachers is married to a women 26 years younger then he and they get along great. His advice and another with a wife with that gap of age helped me overcome the thought I had. Those two guys really helped me. From that point on I was okay with the idea. But I digress lol.
I am not saying by any means it won't work. I think it can, just buckle up and hold on for the ride, because their minds will be all over the place. The way I looked at it was it will keep me young and on my toes lol.
