Shenzhen Express ... the final act

[Voiceroveip]

Hehe a bit of both I guess.

Passe de bonnes fêtes en tout cas!

[Willy The Londoner]

Yes, Inspector Clouseau finds true love with a Chinese lady!

Awesome, Shaun!!!  :icon_biggrin:

P.S.  I'm an original fan (Peter Sellers!) not the imitation Steve Martin wanna-be...

Probably apt because the original Clouseau had a devoted house assistant who was Chinese (played by Bert Kwerk.)

Willy

[Voiceroveip]

I think a little update is in order:

I'm going back in 2 days, I'll land in Hong Kong on Friday AM and will take a shuttle to SZ, easier this time, I'm in the same hotel around the corner from my sweetheart and I can actually walk the 100m from the shuttle to the hotel since I know the neighborhood from last time.

Unfortunately the relationship is a bit tense right now, I don't know if I'm going there to get to know her better or to break up, our last 2 days on QQ were a nightmare, she seems overly anxious and nervous . We only really spent 5-6 days together last time, very short in the end to start something stable I guess.

Two days ago I was looking forward to this last minute trip and she seemed excited like a little kitten, now I am neither here or there and I'm not entirely sure about what she feels. I normally don't care so much about money but this trip is pricey as I bought the ticket last minute (lucky I have an entry on my Visa left), and my business has been fairly slow the last 8 weeks. I'm also spending Xmas eve in a plane, and I will be with her for my birthday, of which she told me she might not be able to spend it with me because of some party. I'm trying not to regret it and also try to understand why she has all these opposed reactions. But maybe I'm finding too many excuses for her.

Some already commented on the "business arrangement" sounding deal, and unfortunately some of these topics arise when she is in a crisis, so I will try to set things straight when we're face to face. Another thing that's hard to take is when she is upset, the stuff she says can hurt like hell, she seems to fire at gunpoint without hesitation. I'm not a rookie as far as relationships go bt I've never experienced this first hand. One of my female friends seems to be like that in her love life, but I still find it strange that someone could be hurtful towards a loved one. Occasionally she throws in that she might not be good enough for me, so she seems to have many doubts and issues, some are legit of course.

I'd love to hear the brotherhood's input, and I'll be sure to post an update as things progress in Shenzhen.

Cheers,
Frank

[maxx]

Frank it sounds like she is just getting the jitters.She is over thinking this thing.Just continue on your trip.SHe will probably relax wants you get there.

[shaun]

Frank,

My money is with what Maxx is saying. There is a huge difference between 27 and 43 and I am sure she does not know what her parents are going to say.  16 years is not that much the older the younger one is.

I think you really need to practice the 24 hour rule here otherwise you might shoot yourself in the foot.

Shaun

[Voiceroveip]

Max, I'm going no matter what, but not as happily as I would like...

Shaun, how much you're betting? Well the mother made some negative comments about me (age, baldness) but won't oppose the relationship apparently. The father, well we'll see ...

The last episode was that she "hung up" on me on QQ last night, because I asked her what kind of facial care I should bring as a gift for her sis.
I feel like I shot myself in the foot when I started this ordeal, but let's see what real life has to say.

As I'm writing this, I'm leaving in less than 6 hours to the airport and I have to pack yet, and empty a big fish tank :/ so the night will be short. I guess I better sleep on the plane.

Update when available of course
Thanks for your input guys, I hope you're right.
Frank

[Danny]

Frank

I think that you should just flow along with things, until you have spent some time with her.

What you have written about her behaviour certainly raises some red flags.

But until you had a few days with her, you will never know what is going on.

I think that if she continues to act in the way you have described in your previous couple of posts, then you might have to think about whether you wish to continue with the relationship.

Spending time with her will give you answers to questions like:

1. do I feel happy and laugh when I am with her?
2. does she make an effort about the relationship?
3. does she enjoy doing and talking about the things that I do?
4. do we have a good time together?
5. does she appear to be happy when I am with her?
etc

Until you spend some time with her, you won't have answers to these questions. So hold back on making a decision about the relationship for now.

I hope you have a good trip. Best wishes.

Danny

[Voiceroveip]

Danny,

Thanks so much for writing these out, it was hard to think clearly. I will keep those points in mind in the next few days.

Hmmm still not packed, 3:17am :icon_sad:

Thanks again,
Frank

[rockycoon]

You know you don't have to take the kitchen sink with you. plenty of cheap clothes over there, after all that's where they come from....you'll just have more to bring back...declare declare.....

[Willy The Londoner]

As Shaun says -  a 16 year gap between someone who is 27 and 43 is in fact a much socially wider one that say a couple who are 40 and 56 even thought it is the same difference on paper or even more so than someone who is 46 and 60 which is the ages of my current lady and myself.

As you get older the age difference is not so important as you dfevelop a different bond together.

Very briefly we have talked about there being a strong possibility that one will die sometime before the other - but I told her I will follow Chinese traditions for her funeral!!!!!  :angel:

I told her when I go I want to turned into cell phone cases then I would never be out of the hands of woman for a lot of years to come!!!!!

Willy

[shaun]

Willy, you are too much.

Frank, what I was trying to say was that Maxx has hit the nail on the head IMHP.  As he would say, "I think you are both over thinking this" and hence the arguing.  Do what Danny says and take it easy.  Be calm but be aware and be assertive when necessary.  I think she is nervous too.

Shaun

[Voiceroveip]

Good point Willy, no Viagra for that kind of difference, the medicine here is wait and see ...

Shaun, I am trying to relax, hehe, it's hard.

Landed this morning, Cathay Pacific have superb seats in economy, just 2 babies mostly kept me awake, so I'm a bit tired. I checked in at 10:00am after an uneventful shuttle transfer from Hong Kong to Shenzhen.

We're meeting in an hour or so.

More when there is some.

Thanks for your input again guys, it is really helpful!
Frank

[Voiceroveip]

So here I am, 2 days later ...

We met up, things went more or less as they should have, it feelt a little fresh the first fifteen minutes .

We  went for an unsuccessful shopping spree during which we got wet and cold, and when we got back to the hotel, she said she would just run to her flat (100m away), give something to her sister and get her laptop and come back within one hour. I called her after 2 hours and she said she was napping and could I call her in an hour which I did after having been to dinner alone as she was not hungry. Now we're on QQ, she's feeling sick.

I wonder if I should challenge her again, or just pack and go?

[David5o]

Frank,

Somethings wrong, and that's for sure!! But i guess that's what you have to put up with, in a lot of respects when getting involved with one of China's ''Little Princesses''  I can't remember how long you were due to stay there now, but if it's just for a few days, ...i'd stay and enjoy being her night time toy .....hahaha!!.
If it's longer, then maybe start looking around for an alternative lady at the agency. I wouldn't just pack-up and go home!!  .....And i wouldn't just be hanging around like miserable old dog either! ..lol!!

David....

[Vince G]

Voice, maybe she doesn't really know herself? what her feelings are. It may take more time before the next step is taken. Allow her to work this through herself.