Kaiping News

[Chong]

Long story short, Sunny and I met on July 9th. Her uncle knew another man who knew the security guard at the hotel that I was staying at in Taishan. I stayed with her in Kaiping for a week and then I went back home. I came back to visit her from Aug 8th till Oct 25th. We became engaged on Chinese Valentine's Day, Aug 26th. I'm back in Kaiping from Dec 2nd till Oct 17th 2010. Thanks for all the early 'congratulations' on Sunny and I getting our Red Book.

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Getting Our Red Book

My sister Shirley, Sunny and I went to the Marriage Registry to get the Red Book today December 4th. At the registry, it took 45 minutes for the lady to approve of our documents and for us to fill out two applications afterwards. The lady at the desk wasn't polite at all. After reviewing our documents, she literally toss it back at us. We didn't even get a 'Congratulations'. She wouldn't let my sister take pictures during the application. Then we were sent upstairs to get our Red Books. Cost for the marriage was 95 RMB. We got an open plaque to put in our Red Books and a TWO textbook on Chinese marriage ... I think ... it's all in Chinese. They had a photographer there to take a series of photos. They wouldn't allow any photos to be taken by my sister but she did manage to get in two shots. The price for their photos was 230 RMB. We didn't want any but there were two nice photos so Shirley brought them for 50 RMB. We'll go to get multiple copies on our own. So now it's official, Sunny [ not Irish's ] and I are man & wife.

[Irishman]

Congratulations to you Chong and your lovely new wife Sunny, I am relieved to see its not my Sunny

[Chong]

Thanks Irish

Introduction Red Envelope Wars
 
The discussion about how much I and Sunny's family have to give the security guard Mr Huo [ for introducing us ] has been an ongoing topic ever since I left Kaiping on July 31st. He constantly hounds Sunny on her cellphone. At one point, he asked for 30,000 RMB. First of all, I'm glad that he introduced Sunny by way of his friend Mr. Wu and through Sunny's uncle, Mr. Kuang Guo Pei. But all he did was make a phone call. I was going to give him a token of appreciation of 3,000 RMB but that changed last night. Mr. Huo had the audacity to suggest to Sunny that he would gossip about her family if he didn't get a large amount of money. So I reduced his Red Envelope to 2,000 RMB. Nobody talks to my wife like that. At lunch today, the family gathered and Mr. Huo and Mr. Wu was invited. I gave them each a pack of Canadian 'Export A' cigarettes and Mr. Huo said a smartass remark of ... "only one pack, where's the carton". To which I replied ... "Why smoke so much, you want to die ?". Mr. Huo is the type of man where nothing ever is going to satisfly him. If you get him "A", he'll want "A+". He even had the nerve to say that since his wife won't be able to make the wedding dinner reception, we'll need to treat him and his wife for dinner at a later date. When I gave him my Red Envelope, he put it in his pocket. After they left, the family had a heated discussion about how much they should give him. Mr. Huo phoned Sunny soon to say that I didn't give him a lot and wanted more from the family. So the negotiations began. The bottom line was that the family will give Mr. Huo 8,000 RMB. However he wants to split it with Mr. Wu is his problem. I gave Sunny's parents $ 2,999 Cdn. At the current exchange rate of 6.49, that's over 19,000 RMB. Mr. Huo wasn't going to get more than my in-laws. The only person who wanted to give more was Sunny's Grandmother but that's because she got 12,000 RMB once before when she introduced a girl to someone. All the uncles and aunts are deadset against giving Mr. Huo anymore than 8,000 RMB. The guy only makes $ 250 Cdn a month. He's getting five months of free salary for just making a phone call. He should be happy he's getting anything IMHO. Anyhow during the evening, he called Sunny again after receiving his second Red Envelope clearly disappointed. That's when I took over the phone and set him straight. In short, thanks for introducing Sunny to me and be thankful for what you received. Don't call Sunny anymore.

[shaun]

Chong,

Great news and beautiful bride.  The both of you make a great looking couple.  I wish many happy years for the two of you.

The situation with the man who introduced the two of you.  Does the hotel he work at know he is doing this?  Just a thought.

Shaun

[Chong]

The situation with the man who introduced the two of you.  Does the hotel he work at know he is doing this?  Just a thought.

Thanks Shaun, lots of people do it ( arrange marriages for introduction money ) in China. The guy works for an independent security firm. My sister even got lots of marriage arrangement propositions in these first few days from strangers willing to find her a husband.

[Neil]

Ah, she's beautiful Chong.  Congratulations!  

Wow, some people feel like the world owes them.  I hope he leaves you both alone now.

[Arnold]

Chong , a big Congratulation on your Wedding to your Sweetheart ( Sunny ) from both Qing and Myself .

Mister Huo ( the Blackmailer ) granted he got you two together with a Call by his Phone , but if it was me .. after treating me like that .. I give him the money what it cost him for the Call and buy him and his Wife a Dinner  and that's IT . Maybe a kick in the rear TOO . It's a shame how everything has to be about Money . I would have just been happy for the two of you ( if I was the one introducing you two ) isn't that a enough payment ?

Again , our best wishes for a equally happy Life as Qing and I .

[brett]

Great update Chong and you look a great couple. I hope I get to that stage some day!

Thanks for letting us know about the money issue. Many of my fellow brothers post only the good stuff that happens, but we learn so much more from the bad and annoying stuff :icon_biggrin:.

I hate silly feuds. There is a whole branch of my own family tree that we don't talk about, because of some stupidity :s.

In England matchmaking is seen as an honourable thing to do, and I've never heard of money changing hands. Our cultures are indeed very different. The satisfaction of seeing the happy couple is usually enough compensation :icon_cheesygrin:.

Good luck with married life!

[David5o]

Arnold,

This sort of thing is so, so common in China amongst the Chinese. From what i can remember, there was a going rate for introductions leading to a marriage at around 10 to 15k RMB, more if one or other, were from a very wealthy family. In fact the fee is generally based on the wealth of the families involved. Many agree a fee figure before any matchmaking takes place, then i guess there's no argument at the end....
What i was told is, that you never let on to these matchmakers that you have money, so perhaps somehow he found out that Chong was a guy with a bit of money. Either way, he does seem to be a bit of a wide boy and a greedy bugger. Asking 30,000 is over the top, that's basically what the agencies charge, not Joe Bloggs off the street .....or should that be Chung Lee?? ...hahaha!!

You should know by now Arnold, in China, outside of family matters, making Money is there main and overwhelming concern, it's how most Chinese families survive. So any money they can make on the side, outside of there salaries is always sort after....
So your sentiments just wouldn't hold any water in China, because they just don't see it the same way that you do......  

I forgot to congratulate Chong and Sunny, ...lets hope you both have a happy and fulfilling life together.


David....

[RegnisTheGreat]

Congrats Chong. Why are you staying so long? Paperwork to come back?

[Chong]

Thanks Chocolate Neil, SiFu Arnold, David & Brett ... [ you can get GZ Daniels address from Chnlove Customer Service ]. Yes Regnis, I'll wait here with Sunny till she gets her papers. Hopefully, it'll take only six-eight months.

Wedding Rituals

On Friday, we went out for Dim Sum before the tea ceremony and before getting our Red Book. At Sunny's Mom's apartment, I gave her Mom my Red Envelope of $ 2,999 Cdn. Sunny got a 'RE' of $ 200 Cdn to buy jewellery and her brother got a 'RE' of $ 60 Cdn to buy shoes. There was four big boxes of pastries that had to be divided up and pass on to family relatives. Sunny gave my sister a cup of tea and that was it for the ceremony. We didn't get any pastries but I wanted some on Saturday but Sunny's Mom didn't want to give the leftovers to me because she was afraid that the mice got to them overnight.

Fast forward to Saturday night. I won't have to do the 'begging' part as the other brothers have to do. Sunny doesn't want that part of the celebration. Tomorrow is our wedding dinner celebration night. In the morning, Sunny will head over to the make-up dept of the photography studio. Her uncle will pick me up at 11:30 am. I just have to bring two packages of cookies and a bag of candies. Compared to the other brothers, I'm getting off easy regarding rituals. We'll head back to our apartment where I'll be doing my half of the tea ceremony. I have to give my in-laws 600 RMB each in a 'RE" & GrandMom 200 RMB for them to buy clothes. Her in-laws have to return a 'RE' of $ 200 Cdn for me to buy a suit, belt and wallet. There are only 'even' numbers involved, no odd numbers. After the tea ceremony, we're not allow to sweep the floor. We're also not allow to wash our hair tomorrow. After waking up tomorrow morning, I have to change new bedsheets, pillow cases and the blanket. We have approximately 90 guests. But there'll be 8 or 10 tables ... again involving even numbers. The restaurant is just across the river from our apartment. I can see it from my bedroom window. I'm carrying 10,000 RMB which should cover the meal. I'll update with the actual cost. So tomorrow night I'll raise a glass to all the brothas ... the ones who have gone through their own wedding and to all the future wedding celebrations that we'll read about. I'll toast you guys TWICE. It doesn't have anything to do with even numbers, I just want TWO big sips ... hehehe CHEERS !!!

[Vince G]

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Salute
here's to you    
good health
skol,
prosit,
l'chaim,
bottoms up,
down the hatch,
here's mud in your eye,
cheers,
Gan bei

[brett]

Good luck Chong!

Thanks for giving us all the details, we guys always like to know how much cash is involved! Tomorrow I'll raise two glasses for you!

P.S. Thanks for the tip about the agency. But I have lost my patience with Miss Wu, and I am data mining chnlove in search of someone who will appreciate me a bit more. I have found a fellow biotechnologist, so things are looking up :icon_cheesygrin:.

[JimB]

Again Congrats son. I guess government offices are the same all over the world. I did get a smile from ours though and she let us take her picture.  The RE is a pain in the A$$.  It causes more trouble than anything else in getting married. This is Sunny's first though so I guess it is more important the first time.  I guess you had to save the family's face to even give him anything except dinner.  When I go back in February I told my wife we had to go to either GZ or Kaiping to see you and Sunny.  We will arrange the dates once I get there.  She does want to go to hainan, if you have never been there it is a great Island paradise.  Again Congrats Son, really happy for you.

Dad

[Paul Todd]

Happy days my friend Happy days :heart::heart: