Meeting mY girl Mei

[davidaquincy]

Sorry brothers but I have been on the go since I got here to meet my girl Mei in Chengdu. I haven't had a chance till this evening to even begin to process everything that has transpired. I have been here since May 3rd now.

I really don't know what to report right now with our situation. We just finished dinner and she went back home. We talked with the translator earlier today with our situation. I am getting mixed messages from him also. He is saying she doesn't know if I want her to be my lover or looking for marriage.

Let me first start off by saying this has been a wonderful first week of my trip. I have seen so much more than I ever imagined. I have experienced the trip of a lifetime if nothing transpires from here on. I have enjoyed the food. Although let me tell you if your not a fan of spicy food Chengdu is not a place for you to go. I have had my problems with the spicy food. Finally Mei got the picture. The China experience is something everyone should see. Well lets get started on what has been going on.

Day 1
Arrive at airport 10 minutes before schedule. Grab my bag and go thru the gate. Start looking around for my girl and the translator. I am only going from the studio pictures looking for her. Hmmmm....I don't see her. I figure I will sit for awhile. Maybe they are running late. I sit for about 30 minutes. Still no one there. I decide I better call my translator. He is shocked that I am at the airport. Says he will be there in 20 minutes. Mei and I discussed several times when I would arrive and that she would be there with the translator to greet me.

He picks me up and gets me to the hotel. Mei comes in when I am checking in. I didn't realize who she was at first. My god she is more beautiful than her studio pictures. She apologizes profusely. We all go up to my room and we will have lunch after I drop off my luggage.

During lunch with use of the translator we discuss if we need him at all. She plays with my Besta translator and says we don't need him. Her english is not that bad. Not great but we can hold a simple conversation. Her phone goes off several times during lunch. She leaves the table twice to answer. Apologizes everytime.  We go to my room after lunch. The translator starts talking money. I need to pay him 400 yuan for picking me up at airport and for the hour of translator work. Fine lets get rid of him. Payed and he is gone.

We sit in the room for about an hour talking and discussing what we will do while I am there. We head out and visit different places. The traffic is awful here and everyone that says the driving is unreal is correct!!!!! Early evening to let me rest and unpack for the upcoming days. Good cause I am tired!

Day 2:
Wow...she was out till 2am local time with her friends. She says her classmate visited and she hadn't seen him/her for 10 years. OK, maybe this was planned. My trip had only been planned for 3 months. Seems like we are having a good time together. She greets me in the morning with a big hug in the lobby of the hotel. We have breakfast and we are off to see some sites. She grabs my arm a few times in public. Good day and good conversation. We do have to use the Besta translator a lot but getting good communication. Nice dinner and alll in all a good day.

Day 3
More touring. Panda reserve was very nice. She asks if I want to see these tourist sites. She seems excited for her to show me. Ok I agree. The person will meet us in the lobby for us to sign the contract. We will be gone for the next couple of days. More holding hands and touching each other.

Day 4-5
I think this is when things started going bad. The touring was great. Got some good pictures. We get to the hotel near Mt Emei. Shit, this place is a dump. I don't know if I can stay here. She tells me she goes with the environment. Ok, if she can do this so can I. We go to a show. She can't sit with me. I payed 300 rmb for just my seat I guess. Ok. She is using her national tour guide ID to get in for free on everything. Ok she is frugal. I tell her I came here to be with her. Not to get to be by myself. We go back to the hotel and the tour guide on this trip asks us to go have a meal around 11pm. Mei wants to go. She is excited when I say sure. Sorry but I am still full from eating 3 squares a day. I cannot stomach going to the place we went to. I wasn't hungry anyways. Back to hotel and she tells me we have to get up early. Shit another 4 hours sleep. Twin HARD beds.

Head to next tour area Mt Emei. Nice time. We get a lot of alone time. Not fantastic but good. Actually I was more interested in the surroundings cause it was so beautiful.

Day 6
Last full day here. We go shopping cause I want to get some gifts for my family. We are having the greatest time ever. I know we are both tired because of all the stairs at Mt Emei and the large Buddha. She gets angry at me a couple of times cause I can't understand what she is saying. But I tell her it was a lot worse a few days ago. Seems like everything is going great. She wants to see the pictures I took over the last couple of days. She likes most of them but starts deleting the pictures of her. I complain. We have dinner and she goes home. I will see if she sees me off in the morning.

My complaints with her. Jesus Christ is your phone that important. She was always checking it. Texting and talking on it. I complained today about it being rude.

She is hot and cold. I haven't kissed her at all. She will hold my hand and get close but when we get alone she backs off. I am sure it is the chinese culture but I just don't know.

She is getting frustrated with her english. She can read it just great. I am helping her and have the patience to help her along. She gets frustrated when I can't understand her.

I just don't know at this point. I leave in the morning for Shenzhen. I am there for 6 days. There is a girl there that we have been friends for awhile. I don't know what I am going to do. I trully have feelings for Mei but I just don't know. I am going to go to SHenzhen with an open mind. Let the chips fall where they may.

I know most of you won't agree with this but I was afraid of something like this happening. The girl in Shenzhen is fully aware of the situation and she just wants to have a good time with me. SHe is also from CHNLOVE. We can have dinner and she wants to show me her city.

Well thats enough for now. I am tired and need some sleep. Thanks for listening!

Good Luck to everyone during their upcoming trips!!

David A Quincy

[Vince G]

David, you skipped over this a little quickly. "The person will meet us in the lobby for us to sign the contract." What contract? What did you have to sign? On the rest of it? This is why it's good to meet before getting to involved.

[Hajo]

David, I wish you will have a better experience in Shenzhen. As Vince asks, the contract, I am curious too. What contract did you sign?

[Vince G]

I was on the phone with my lady this morn trying to discuss the fee issue. Even though I asked her to email the info (sent her an email saying write back). But what I did understood they're going to have big trouble when I do get there.

Now I'm afraid for David. Was whatever it was in english? and so on

[Arnold]

David , I think you should enjoy your day's in Shenzhen with that Lady and see if that will go better and make your Mind up aterward's about Mei .
I think , the Contract you signed was for your meeting Mei , the second stage of the contract ( meeting in Person ) , am I right on this ?
That would mean , she has had to pay them some money , and if she was not totally happy about the Relationship with you at that point , that could have been the reason for not paying more attention to you , instead of her Phone all the time .
You just go and have a great time in Shenzhen and don't let this bother you there or it will ruin your stay there .
Keep a Smile .

[Irishman]

Ed, thank you for the brilliant post, very interesting reading.

I think you need to keep in mind a couple of points :-

1) For most Chinese cheap doesnt mean poor quality - it means good. Simple as that. When you said that you paid 300rmb for a seat (Day 4-5) and she used her card to get a free one away from you - she was giving you face. She was saving you money, this was an honourable thing to do, it probably shocked her that you complained afterwards. You need to let her know in advance that you want her to sit beside you because her company is priceless and important to you.

2) Chinese girls and their mobiles are inseparable! Get used to it, its just how it is. I went to the movies with Ling and we paid 100RMB each for posh seats one time..every few minutes her mobile would go off or someone else's in the theatre. in the west its would have resulted in people getting annoyed and telling her to turn it off. Not so in China..no-one even glanced over..it is normal. You won't change this behaviour, you are in China, these are Chinese girls..this is normal behaviour..YOU need to adapt.

Enjoy Shenzen, though I think you have a good girl in Chengdu already.

[maxx]

David without knowing what the paper said this is all a guess.I think that is what is making the women run hot and cold.Tell us what the paper said and we can go from there.

Cell phones.Chinese people can't live without them.That is something you learn to live with.

[davidaquincy]

Sorry guys,

The contract was for us going on this 2 day trip. It was just the costs of the bus, hotel and such. It had nothing to do with meeting Mei. Sorry i was very tired when writing my post and should have been more clear!!!!

As far as the costs for meeting Mei we discussed that nothing more would be said to her agency. She knows it will cost money if they think anything more is discussed thru them. She paid 1600 rmb to join the agency. We  We exchanged our email address. After much thought this evening and little sleep I am just bummed that things didn't go better. I may just be reading more into what has happened.

I understand what everyone is saying about the cell phone. I just found it quite rude in my opinion. I can learn to adapt to that.

The girl in Shenzhen is more of just a friend. She contacted me after I had been talking with Mei. I explained everything to her that I was interested in Mei when we started talking. She just wanted a friend also so we kept communication thru email instead of CHN. We have worked on her english and is more of a friendly attitude.

I have a lot of feelings towards Mei. I am still learning their customs and what I can and cannot do. Mei was very helpful and explained quite a bit to me. I am just regretting leaving without getting to know her better.

Hopefully in the next couple of days I can think more clearly and get a grasp on the time I have spent with Mei.

I will keep you informed. Mei will be over early and we can spend the last few hours hopefully discussing what I have thought.

Thanks brothers

David

[maxx]

David talk to Mei.It sounds like you 2 are having culture issues.( I know this next part is going to sound dumb But it is how Chinese people see it.)You are letting your anger and frustration show on your face.And she is probably reading off of that.Without me being there it is kind of hard to say.

I think it is time for you and Mei to talk.And see what can be done.I'm sure you going to Shenzhen.To visit the other women is on Mei mind.

If you were married to Mei and she was going with you it would be ok.But since you are not married to Mei.And are going to see this other women.It makes you look like a butterfly.Butterfly is a male slute in China.A man who spreads his sead all over the place.And by doing that you are taking Mei face..

It could be any number of reasons.But I think I would talk to Mei.And see what she has to say.

[victor-hills]

I have to say if i was Mei knowing full well your going to see this other woman friend is not going to sit well with her knowing you could be with her but your of to see the other woman instead think i would run hot and cold,becase she prob feels if she gets to close to you and you hit it off with the other woman she defintly loose face just my penys worth.

[Arnold]

I must give this one to Maxx , he so right . After re-thinking this over . We did mention that in many Post on the other Forums , it is not in the best interest of any Woman , for the Man to go see multiple Lady's on one Trip . I myself was alway's against the so called back-up plan . If you not sure the one Woman is the one , then why are you going to China in the first place . But this is part of our western way's , alway's have a back-up if one Lady say's she's busy or for any reason . That can never be Love , only to satisfiy sexual hunger . So acting like that , do we not look like the chinese Men , in their thinking ?

[davidaquincy]

Yes, I understand every single one of you. I should not have had a "back up plan" It really wasn't a back up plan. The girl in Shenzhen knew I was going to devote my time and energy to Mei in Chengdu. I have done all that.

Now listen to me closely. Mei and I talked heart to heart this morning. She received only 2 letters out of the 50 plus that I have sent her!!!! We finally figured out what has been going on. i thought we had an understanding of our feelings. Was just going with the flow. We had been so busy sightseeing and enjoying dinners and such that we really didn't talk. She knows nothing of me and I know nothing of her. That is why she was running hot and cold. Yes we didn't go to regular email address. She {the agency} was writing all the mails!!! I am livid. Mei is livid.

I have already talked to the girl in Shenzhen. She is aware of what is going on. We will go to dinner tonight and I am trying to book a flight back to Chengdu. I have already called Mei and told her the plan. She is very happy!! I will stay one night in Shenzhen then hopefully I will be back in Chengdu tomorrow to settle a score.

What recourse do I have? I can't believe this happened.

Any advice?

Thanks for listening
David

[Hajo]

It's unbelievable!! Are you going to talk with agency about it or filing a complain to chnlove.com? The question is, was the agency or the translator. Maybe you should let Chnlove.com find out.

My honest opinion is, spend you time with Mei to find out what you want. Follow your heart David. I wish it will work out for you.

[RobertBfrom aust]

David,lodge a complaint directly with chnlove asap and if you can add what you posted in here, all so well and good , even when you meet back up if you both have your registration no's ring HongKong , even before seeing the local agency and speak to someone in charge as they won't appreciate both of you being misled .
 Dig your heels in, it may work out for the 2 of you and I hope that it does , but make sure both they and the local agency know how much extra this is costing you ,and how much bad publicity can be generated , good luck , regards Robert .

[davidaquincy]

I have complained to CHN directly.  92 EMF's to each other. I guess I will see what happens.

I can't get a flight for 2 days. In the meantime Mei is getting frustrated with her english with me on the phone. I am trying to explain very simply. We have called each other probably 20 times today. We are both in awe of what has transpired.

I will let you know what CHN has to say meanwhile I am trying to get back to Chengdu to recover the situation.

Again thanks for the input and not berating me!

David