How do I exactly go about to meet them?

[Oiler1]

Hi everyone,

Please forgive me it this info has been discussed and posted somewhere as this is a pretty basic question.

I have been a member here since inception. I have written to chnlove women before  but never actually met one due to other personal circumstances.

Now I am writing to a few and will definitely see them. I wonder how you guys proceed once contact is established.

Chnlove says we are not allowed to ask or exchange for contact information except they seem to allow the woman to give you her e-mail. Some people say it is not really her e-mail, but I think it is.

Anyways, I can buy her contact information (with her permission of course). But often it does not have a telephone number. This means I have to write snail mail and hope I get her phone number before I go. The turnaround time too long and I go in 5 weeks. If you have her private e-mail or QQ number you could ask for the phone number. This information is vital to meeting her.

The other thing is I could ask the agency for their phone number so when I arrive they can meet me and get me a hotel or apartment. From reading these posts the agency can either be a great help or a money grabber so I am leery of them. But if you have no other choice, do I ask my lady friend to give me the agency phone number or can I ask them directly? How do I ask the agency? Do I ask the customer care of chnlove to give it to me?

I am going there iin March and I just started writing to a few women since the New Year. The women are spread all over but I hope to filter it down to 2 or 3 to visit.

Help or advice appreciated.

Don

[ttwjr32]

Don,
i would get the ladies email address as soon as you could. this way you can
eleminate emf"s and start to chat between each other without the translators.
yes this can be difficult but you have to tackle that anyway at some point and
time so why not start as soon as you can. i would try to get times to chat on
web cam and also emails and as you get to know them you can decide which one
is best to continue with. im sorry but i dont think visiting 2 or 3 at a time is a wise choice
but again that is my opinion. unless of course you have a few months to be there.
visiting ladies over the course of say maybe 2 weeks just is not enough time to
get to know each other a little well and see if you want to pursue it further.
so i would recomend finding 1 lady and pursuing that to see were it will lead.

[Oiler1]

Don,
i would get the ladies email address as soon as you could. this way you can
eleminate emf"s and start to chat between each other without the translators.
yes this can be difficult but you have to tackle that anyway at some point and
time so why not start as soon as you can. i would try to get times to chat on
web cam and also emails and as you get to know them you can decide which one
is best to continue with. im sorry but i dont think visiting 2 or 3 at a time is a wise choice
but again that is my opinion. unless of course you have a few months to be there.
visiting ladies over the course of say maybe 2 weeks just is not enough time to
get to know each other a little well and see if you want to pursue it further.
so i would recomend finding 1 lady and pursuing that to see were it will lead.

Thanks for the advice. I am going for 6 weeks and I can extend my trip by 10 days If I wish. I got lots of time but I don't really know which of the ladies is the best for me as I only started in January,

I decided to go on Feb 23rd because there was a seat sale and also southern China is still relatively cool. I did not want to go in the summer or on Chinese New Years week.

I already got an e-mail from 2 of the ladies, but I have to use a software translator and it came out all garbled according to her. I kind of am suspicious as my Chinese friend says while it was not perfect it was still readable. Also she seems to be hand in hand withe the agency encouraging me to write EMF's through them.

The other ladies are less exacting but they live in other provinces far from Hong Kong and the south. I don't have time for a lengthy correspondence and I know almost no one in the cities where the ladies live.

I will ask for their QQ the next letter and see if chnlove permits me to get theirs. Then I can webcam chat or write to them faster. Everyone has a cell phone in China even if they do not have a PC. If a woman is giving excuse to use the agency all the time I suspect they are in cahoots with them.

Don

[Voiceroveip]

Haha, I posted too late, Ted beat me to it!

Hi Don,

There are many topics on here about just that, but in short, a good way to progress from my experience is:

Get direct contact as soon as possible, basically as soon as it's polite. I have no trouble getting QQ contacts after 3 to 5 EMFs, I never spent a credit on getting an email or a physical address, they will often be those of the agency anyway. This will allow you to verify the reality of the woman (webcam session), and if things are going well between you you could bring up the idea of meeting up during a chat session.

A good way to get QQ information is to provide your number in an EMF and stating "you would love to chat with her, you hope this would be possible soon". If it doesn't work, reiterate in the second EMF, or stop writing. I did and I thought I would lose contact and oh surprise, somebody added me to QQ ...

If you want to send a gift, you can either ask the translator for the agency address at the end of your EMF, or ask your lady in QQ or any other means of communication you may have established by then. She will give you her phone number when your meeting is setup, don't worry about that.

To setup a meeting, if a translator is not necessary, you can do that on your own with your lady, and she will be able to point you to at least the correct district in the city she lives in so it's not too inconvenient for her, then get a hotel yourself (example: ctrip.com). If a translator is necessary, then arrange the meeting with your lady first, and then negotiate a translation service fee with your agency. They will charge you sky high but try to negotiate, reasonable fees I have seen are 400rmb/day (8 hours). You pay for transportation and meals and any other expense as well. To get direct contact information of the agency/translator, ask for their phone and QQ.

The best meeting places are usually hotel lounges, easy for your lady to find, you don't get lost ...

Did I forget anything brothers?

Good luck and have fun,
Frank

[ttwjr32]

Don,

keep in mind though wanting to use the agency all the time
in the beginning might not reflect being in cahoots but just
the lady wanting to see at first how it will go with you for
a while and see if you are serious about the commitment

[Neil]

It's been a while, but I don't remember seeing anywhere on Chnlove that you aren't allowed to ask for or exchange contact information.  I'm sure it's fine to ask - no way of knowing if they will give you an honest answer though.  

Direct contact is very important.  Try for at least one webcam meeting before going to meet in person.  Preferably more and the more the better.  Ask for a QQ address, make an account and chat on QQ as often as possible too (with webcam even).

When you're ready to go there, add a note to an EMF to your translator and get his/her phone number.  You're going to want to hire a translator to help you with the first meeting and depending on your lady's English skill, probably for a number of days as well.  I was quoted 800 RMB a day (that's negotiable).  I ended up paying 400 per day.  You're talking through the translator anyway, develop a relationship with him/her.  They will be your best contact in China other than the lady.  If things go sour, the translator will likely bend over backward to help you meet someone else, arrange hotels, flights, whatever you need.  

Also, please keep the members informed about where you're headed and when.  There's a lot of experience here and we're glad to help in any way we can.

[Voiceroveip]

I already got an e-mail from 2 of the ladies, but I have to use a software translator and it came out all garbled according to her. I king of am suspicious as my Chinese friend says while it was not prefect it was stil readable. Also she seems to be hand in hand withe the agency encouraging me to write EMF's through them.

If a woman is giving excuse to use the agency all the time I suspect they are in cahoots with them.

Don

Don't suspect, that's what it is ...

[David E]

Hi everyone,

Please forgive me it this info has been discussed and posted somewhere as this is a pretty basic question.

I have been a member here since inception. I have written to chnlove women before  but never actually met one due to other personal circumstances.

Now I am writing to a few and will definitely see them. I wonder how you guys proceed once contact is established.

Chnlove says we are not allowed to ask or exchange for contact information except they seem to allow the woman to give you her e-mail. Some people say it is not really her e-mail, but I think it is.

Anyways, I can buy her contact information (with her permission of course). But often it does not have a telephone number. This means I have to write snail mail and hope I get her phone number before I go. The turnaround time too long and I go in 5 weeks. If you have her private e-mail or QQ number you could ask for the phone number. This information is vital to meeting her.

The other thing is I could ask the agency for their phone number so when I arrive they can meet met and get me a hotel or apartment. From reading these posts the agency can either be a great help or a money grabber so I am leery of them. But if you have no other choice, do I ask my lady friend to give me the agency phone number or can I ask them directly? How do I ask the agency? Do I ask the customer care of chnlove to give it to me?

I am going there iin March and I just started writing to a few women since the New Year. The women are spread all over but I hope to filter it down to 2 or 3 to visit.

Help or advice appreciated.

Don

Don

I have done it 6 times via Agencies and been horribly disappointed with the results.

It is so difficult to take all the time, trouble and costs of going to meet someone when the only contact you have is through EMF's with a translator in the middle. I know that one or two Bros here have done it that way with success, but the majority of guys going to China try very hard to eastablish some level of personal contact first....you ,might like to check out Abigbutt's post's regarding this.

For all the right reasons, it is best to get on to QQ or some such similar personal face-to-face electronic media...then you know who you are actually talking to !!!

The email address you will get from the Agency is NOT a personal address, it is an Agency dedicated number given to the Lady on registration.

You will also see from the many, many posts on the subject that Chinese ladies regard with great suspicion, any Man who goes to visit them and several others...so I fully agree with Ted on this one......better to take the time to find one Lady who you think may be the best for you and take it from there. You can always go to the Agency and arrange other meetings if it all goes pear shaped (Plan B)

Since I learned all the traps from the Bros here, I have gone down a different track with No 7, and I have already established QQ contact and have been chatting for 6 weeks now...what a difference, it makes life so much easier and makes the whole task much less daunting. I can get to know the REAL person so much easier.

You will doubtless meet some resistance from the Agency when you push for QQ contact...but persevere...in the end they have to give way or risk losing a client !!!

As for Hotels, when you get more comfortable with the Lady of your choice, on QQ or similar, ask her to suggest a Hotel, or even arrange a booking for you.....I would not let the Agency do this.

Again I say, some Bros have had real sucess with letting the Agency do the whole thing and having their whole relationship via EMF prior to meeting.....but it is a rarity.

Lastly...dont go over there filled with unrealistic expectations of love and marriage....softly, softly catchee mousee.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

 Keep optimistic and have an open mind and heart and you will have a wonderful experience in this amazing Country, whatever the outcome may be,

DavidE

[Vince G]

Don, First things first the statement "Chnlove says we are not allowed to ask or exchange for contact information except they seem to allow the woman to give you her e-mail." IS NOT correct. They have in the contract that she should give contact info. Whether the translator lets it through is another thing. Yes there are some (translators) that will give there email address and phone number? Problem is you don't know till later about this.

In a EMF, ASK! If your going there you need her phone number to contact her (them). I was about 3 months in when I asked. She said, my engis, not good. I said I wanted to hear her voice we will still EMF. It worked I got hers.

[Oiler1]

Wow, thanks for all the advice guys. I will ask the lady for her QQ number the next time. I actually have one but never used it.

Man, maybe I made a mistake as I sent cupids to several women initially assuming only 2 or 3 would respond but I got almost all of them responding.

I did eliminate one as she immediately went over the top with words of endearment on the 1st letter. I had a gut feeling she was not the one for me.

I do understand the feeling of loneliness though and it tends to make people do irrational things and by writing to too many women I may have bit off more than I can chew.

I swear I saw somewhere that I cannot ask for contact info, and since they sell addresses I assumed I cannot ask for this contact information.

I do not know if the personal e-mail they give me is an agency one or not though as sometimes it has yahoo in it. In the past I did made contact via phone so I do know these are real women and I can talk to then independent of the agency. Maybe I got confused with another website I used in the past.

I have independent contacts in some major cities like HK, Beijing and Shanghai, but the women are not in those cities. I have been to China before but the touristy stuff is secondary to finding a woman.

Yes, I will ask the interpreter personally if she can help with meeting me at the airport or train station when I arrive.

Now with 5 weeks to go, I will try to narrow down my choices to 1 or 2 from a bunch. God, that is going to be tough. I will be visiting friends I made the last time I was in China so I have an excuse to go to another city. I hate to lie and if I tell a woman I came so far and I have to have  options, she will probably dump me on the spot. It doesn’t matter if they are writing to many but it seems I can’t?

I haven't a clue if an agency is going to overcharge me or not but when you don;t have any other interpreters what can you do? I suppose one can go to a university or hotel and try to find someone who speaks English.

Don

[Voiceroveip]

I do not know if the personal e-mail they give me is an agency one or not though as sometimes it has yahoo in it.

Don, a typical agency email account is HuJintao6080001@yahoo.cn

The women get the email account opened for them as part of their service for which they pay.

You can buy an electronic translator, try searching "Besta" on the forum, there are several threads. When you get your hotel booking, get the address in Chinese and print it out to show to a taxi. Ctrip provides this service.

I saw two ladies on my first trip, but I did not mention it to either, I do business in China so it was easy to find an excuse for the trip ... but the lesson I learned is that if you like #1, you'll have zero bandwith for #2, so there's no point following through. On my next trip I am seing several, but it's so early in our communications (2 are even blind dates, well I saw pics and a basic profile, no exchange though) that it would be hard to choose. I'm writing to 3 and will probably eliminate one in the next couple of days.

Edit: As I am writing this, I just realized that one is standing out now from the 3, I might actually focus on her soon ...

[Oiler1]

I do not know if the personal e-mail they give me is an agency one or not though as sometimes it has yahoo in it.

Don, a typical agency email account is HuJintao6080001@yahoo.cn

The women get the email account opened for them as part of their service for which they pay.

You can buy an electronic translator, try searching "Besta" on the forum, there are several threads. When you get your hotel booking, get the address in Chinese and print it out to show to a taxi. Ctrip provides this service.

I saw two ladies on my first trip, but I did not mention it to either, I do business in China so it was easy to find an excuse for the trip ... but the lesson I learned is that if you like #1, you'll have zero bandwith for #2, so there's no point following through. On my next trip I am seing several, but it's so early in our communications (2 are even blind dates, well I saw pics and a basic profile, no exchange though) that it would be hard to choose. I'm writing to 3 and will probably eliminate one in the next couple of days.

Edit: As I am writing this, I just realized that one is standing out now from the 3, I might actually focus on her soon ...

Thanks Frank, at least I feel better that another guy is writing to more than one lady.

If the e-mail is the agency's, I better not say anything bad about the agency. I did get upset one time when I wrote a long letter only to get a 4 sentence response and hardly any answers to my questions. That's the only thing i ever said about an agency.

[Neil]

When you are sure which city you will be visiting, let us know.   Someone may be able to hook you up with a human translator that they know or at least point you in a good direction so you're not stuck with the agency translator.  David E has a good point about not putting too much trust in the agency - just remember, they have an agenda and money is top on their list of priorities.

[Oiler1]

I have a ticket to Hong Kong to arrive on February 24th. I am due back in Canada from Shanghai on April 8th. In between that time I really haven't formulated a plan except I have one lady in Shanghai I could meet and one in the Guangdong province area. I have another far away from both cities.

If there are guys who know of any honest (oxymoron) agencies or can help near the south China it would be appreciated.

[rockycoon]

Scottish Rob was there one day I think and met his current lady on the street.  So you may get as luck as he was and meet a very nice lady yourself.