advice

[dave k]

first off i'm new pretty new to this site and i spend alot of time looking and reading through the threads and posts. as some have probably seen i'm currently talking to lady that i met through chn and things seem to be going pretty good we have been talking through emf's for almost a month now and wee seem to want the same thing when it comes to our relationship we also have alot in common, but thats not the problem the problem i'm having is that everytime i bring up using web cam she always has an excuse. the same with moving away from using emf's. just wondering if its a sign that i might be being scamed by an agency or is she just scared of moving to the next step. any help or advice would be helpful thanxz

[Voiceroveip]

Dave,

Open a QQ account if you have not already done so, and inist you want to chat with her. Webcam can come a little later. Add your QQ ID in the EMF. You can signup and download the software here.

If' you've been writing a lot of EMFs, the agency will be resistant to giving that revenue up. Insist politely, and if it doesn't work, you could stop writing for a few days and see what happens. It worked for me, I broke the rythm and was added the next day.

Frank

[Vince G]

Dave K, it's hard to say? She might be shy? What are the excuses? No time to? or don't want to?

My lady doesn't like to have her photo taken. But when I asked about a webcam session she said yes right off.

[dave k]

well Voiceroveip i haven't actually signed up for qq yet i tried once last week and got lost on the site, hopefully now that i have added language packages to my computer i can find my way around better.:s

and vince her excuses are that the weather outside is to cold and that she doesn't have a computer at home so she will have to find time to be able to take time off of work to use the one at the agency. and as for getting her picture taken she said everything has to be nice outside.

[Voiceroveip]

Try this site in English to sign up for QQ

And install google toolbar, it will translate Chinese pages instantly for you.

Sounds to me like the agency is playing your wallet. Which agency is it?

Cheers,
Frank

[maxx]

David how long have you ben ussing Emf to talk to your lady? how close is the agency to where she lives?

[dave k]

i'll give the site a try hopefully i can get somwhere with it tonight and i'll defenitly give the google tool bar a try and see if that helps. and the agency i'm using is  Nanning OuYuan Marriage Information Consulting Service Co. Ltd.             Agency ID: P608


and max i've been using emf's to talk to her for about close to four weeks and from what i understand i can't be to far from where she lives as she personally picks up my letters everyday

[Voiceroveip]

Ok, some say good things about this agency, I experienced direct contact blocking with them and gave up and lost the contact, a cute young woman ...

[maxx]

Dave sorry I have more questions.How do you know she picks up the letters? Is that something she is writing in the letters to you.?How many letters in a week? How old is the lady? has she ben married before? We need details Dave.the more details we have the better answer we can give you.

The reason I'm asking is because if she lives that close to the agency.A web cam chat shouldn't be a big deal.The agency has web cams.If we are talking say 2 letters a week.Then I would say slow down a little.Don't be in such a hurry.

If she is say 25 and never ben married.and 2 letters a week.This is way to fast to be asking for a web chat.

If she is around 35 ben married before.And you guys.Are writing letters to each other every day.I think a web chat is the next step.

If the women fits profile number 2 and still refuses to do a web chat.I would find somebody else to talk to.But not before I told the lady why I was walking away.I think that would change her mind real fast.Abou the web chat

[rockycoon]

I don't know, but guy's and David K, I see a lot of red flags in what david has said....any comments...?

[RobertBfrom aust]

No red flags , just a lack of information like Maxx's said , and Dave , the girls in China have much better translation software than the western countries have and believe me like others on this forum have found out you can easily stuff up the start and middle of a relationship by getting the words wrong , regards Ying and Robert .

[brett]

Hi Dave,

Not wanting to use the webcam is a red flag. If she has a mobile phone then she could probably use QQ on it. Many ladies also have MSN Messenger.

Not taking photos because the weather is bad - well my lady has told me that before, so it's not too suspicious.

Maxx is right - we need to know a bit more about her, like age and what type of job she does.

Vince - my lady is the opposite to yours, she loves having her photo taken. In fact when I was with her I was trying to take photos of landscapes and a beautiful lady kept creeping into the frame lol :icon_cheesygrin:.

[Danny]

I don't see it necessarily as a red flag. There are many good reasons why a woman might not wish to move away from using emf's. If she is insecure about her poor English skills or appearance, she might not want to put at risk what she has at this point of time.

I would persist with asking for a webcam chat. This has to be done respectfully and kindly and gently, but after some effort I would give it away if there is not progress on this.

I am a big believer in triangulation - you need at least two independent sources of information about anything that matters to you.

If you rely on just emf mails, there's a big chance you're going to end up unhappy. There are just too many guys here (myself included) who have relied on emf mails and found that there is a real gap between the woman you imagine from her emf mail and the real life woman.

If you have another secondary source of information about a person (eg your experience with her on webcam, the recommendation of someone you know and trust, time spent with her when you visit her, etc) then the information you receive through the primary source (eg emf mails) is a lot more valuable to you, since you have a way of verifying it.

[Paul Todd]

Hi Dave,

I gave an English lesson to 3 ladies from the site in the park a couple of months ago. They where all in relationships and had been exchanging EMF's for some time . One of them for close on a year and they all proudly showed me picture of there boyfriends. I asked if they used web cams and all of them said no and not because they didn't have access to one. I tried to explain that it was a good idea and it would bring them closer to there partners. They all told me that "well maybe he will think I'm not beautiful enough and my English is so bad he will think I'm stupid" I tried to point out that they would have to face this sooner or latter and wouldn't it be better to do this over the net than at the airport. In fact they where all intelligent funny and attractive women but deeply insecure. Even with my wife's encouragement they were still too afraid of what might happen to get online. So even though it's frustrating and I'm not suggesting that it is the same in every case, step lightly. Remember there exposure to westerners is about the same as our's to mainland China's culture. Best of luck to you both.

[ttwjr32]

i will comment Rocky

1--- if she can pick the letters up then she can web chat

2--- all chinese have a gazillion picks of themselves and family
 my wife takes so many pictures i told her we need a computer
 for just storing them

3--- is it the translator talking or is the traslator advising her?