thank you. i leave for China today. it will not be the return i had hoped for. thank you to all the brothers here. it has been a very lonely time for me. my family act like i dodged a bullet. they do not say it, but it is obvious to me. my friends have reverted to drunken frat boys around me. they do not know what to say or do. I have gotten more than a few "well at least you only knew her for 6 months". like that makes this any less painful. I have even my mother tell my sister, "he will get over this quickly how much can he really be in love. He has only really met her twice." It has been hell. I am going to spend some time in China with her family. I do not think it will make it easier for me in the short run, but I think being with those who loved her as much as i did and actually understand my pain. Will help in the long run. I do not know. I am completely lost right now. I know i am feeling very alone, and my support system here does not understand. I know they try as best as they can, but they just can not understand and it shows. I know that her family welcomes me to come and grieve with them. Dad suggested it. I do not know if this is the correct path, but i know i must do something to be with people that are closer to my heart then those around me here. Good bye my friends. I will check in from time to time. Until my heart is right again, i might as well go where my heart has been since December and my future was going to be.
