Need another perspective.

[Carnegie]

I've been chatting with this girl on Chnlove for the past three months.  Even booked a trip to Wuzhou via GZ to see her.  However, now I'm beginning to see things that most of you have pointed to as "scam worthy".  I can't get her off of EMF (3 months of EMF is really pricey...) even though I've sent her emails to her account, I can't get her to use QQ at all or get her phone number.  Oh, and she lives in Wuzhou but the agency is in Nantong.

Now the good: I've gotten pictures of her that are outside of the studio pics that appear very much real even one taken with a gift for Christmas.  

The last note I got from her really made me think.  She had told me of the legend of the weaver girl and the cowherd.  I said I'd wait for her to tell me in person.  The next EMF was a cut and paste job from somewhere off of the internet: the English was more or less perfect with (I'm exaggerating although not by much) about 15 words otherwise.

Am I right to be a little reticent at the moment?:huh:

[shaun]

Carnegie,

There are those of us who are a little jaded by our bad experiences with chnlove.  They have been documented here on this site quite well.  But there are those who have been very successful too with less information with what you have.  I wish there was a magic formula that could tell us yes or no; good or bad but there isn't one.  All we can give you is our experiences.  Maxx, Arnold, Rhonald, Ed (I think) all have done quite well working without QQ and email but there are many more of us who have been burned so to speak.

Bottom line is that you need to go with your gut instinct.  If you want to go for it you need a backup plan as others have said before.  That isn't my style as I do not have one.  If you choose to go and it falls apart, which happens more often that all of us care to admit, your will be in the right place to meet many women and establish one or many relationships that you can QQ right from the beginning.

You might want to share a little more about what your concerns are and there will be someone who can offer sound advice.

After having a bad experience with chnlove I moved over to blossoms.com and fouind the woman of my dreams.  We talked about 3 hours tonight via web cam.  If you want to know more about how to used it PM me.

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

It may be that her English is absolutely nil.  But after three months you should have moved on from EMF's.   If your trip is paid for and is soon then maybe you should come over and if she is not real then move on.   There are lots of women available here.  There are probably millions here who will not commit themself to paying Agencies any money at all.

It is time for you to say to this lady that you will converse only by email or qq or you will not continue contacting her.  If it is the agency you may get one last emf trying to persuade you not to take that course or they may consider that they have taken as much money as they are going to from you and not reply at all.

If that is the case then end your trip in Guangzhou there are many available ladies in that city. GZ will be a easier location to get to if you have to make further trips

From living in China I would recommend that you guys only start looking for ladies in the Zhuhai, Zhongshan, Shenzhen cities as these are easily got  to places with via direct ferries from Hong Kong airport.

China may look a small place on maps but it is huge and some places are difficult to get too.   There are probably more flights to Hong Kong than any  place in China so flights are less expensive.


Willy

[Carnegie]

There are many flights to GZ from Canada.  Mine takes two stopovers (LAX and Seoul (Asiana)) but the price was fantastic.

My gut instinct is that she's legit but there's the little voice saying "something's amiss" here.  My backup plan: enjoy GZ with a Besta, a backpack, and my shades on.  I've heard on here there are many agencies in GZ.  How would one go about contacting them once in country?

Thanks to both of you for your input.  It is very much appreciated.  Anybody in GZ on the forum here want to speak English again the last week of Feb./first week of March?  I might have a bit of free time in three weeks...

[Neil]

This story sounds a lot like mine.  I stuck to EMF for 6 months.  I was able to get her mailing address and phone, but only had 2 webcam meetings before going to meet her.  she sent me some good non-professional pictures, one included a picture of a gift I mailed her.  I received some cut/paste EMF's from websites containing info we were discussing (including the weaver/cow herd story).  

Nina was very much real, but it did turn out that a lot of our EMF's were manufactured by the agency.  We were unable to get past EMF's until we met.  

If I knew then what I know now, I would have insisted on more direct contact, saved myself a fortune, and hopefully not blown my chances of meeting her in the end.  I think the fact that you are concerned is justified.  Mention your concerns to her (or the translator).  Just be diplomatic about it.  I chalked the EMF cost up to an investment and in that regard, I received a huge profit.  

Maxx will tell you that you better get your ass in gear and go to China.  Soon.  I would agree.  Until you do, you can't really blame her for treating you any different than the other possible men that could be writing her.  Until you've met, you are pretty much a penpal.  Once you meet you stand out from the crowd.  

Then the work really begins.

[ttwjr32]

Carnegie,

asking us for advice means your undecided and leaning toward not
seeing her. if she is in gz and your coming here go see her and see
what happens. as often not with these chinese ladies there is a very
simple reason for why they do what they do at times. and when in gz
call me and we could have drinks or dinner. pm me and i will give you
my cell phone. hell i will take you to quite a few places were the women
are all over the place and you can meet one. quite easy here in gz to
meet one for a relationship. you do have 3 months in this.

[Carnegie]

No, I'm going to see her.  I've already booked the flight and such.  Unrefundable and untransferable makes sure that I'm going.  I appreciate the perspective of Neil and once I got the past couple of notes, I started to get the "manufactured" feeling.  She freely admits to having little to no English but I've mentioned Babel Fish and Google to no avail.

I hope to end up like Neil: invested into something much bigger as she's unbelieveably beautiful (more so in her natural pics and not the studio stuff... or so I think) and seems to be very much someone I'd like to be with long term but there's that lingering red flag about not getting off of EMF.  Armed with my new Besta, once it arrives, we will see how things go.  I can't wait to see China.

I'm amazed at the openness and comraderie here on this forum.  You guys are great!

[ttwjr32]

well best wishes for a great trip   Ted and Siying

[Willy The Londoner]

I'm amazed at the openness and comraderie here on this forum.  You guys are great!

I'm amazed so many are still sober enough to reply. I mean the western new year was only a month ago!!!!!   But the Chinese one is still to come.  
What date are you due to arrive because it sounds as if you are arriving at a very busy time in China. Nearly 300 million Chinese will be travelling the country in February!!!

You will love it in China.  I came in June and it is my home now.

Willy

I have just checked your travel dates.  A few of us in China are meeting up around 20th February in Guangzhou.  Maybe you should stay there for a couple of days at least.  If you are travelling on from Guangzhou by train then you may have problems booking a ticket.

[Neil]

That's a nice picture Carnegie.  My lady loves bears too, her bed was covered in them.  

Sounds like you have everything lined up.  I remember how excited I was when I bought my first ticket.  Excited and nervous.  Have a great time and remember, keep an open mind.

[Vince G]

Carnegie, I understand your concern. I can see how you are being careful in case. BUT not ALL chinese women are computer savvy. You figure somethings wrong because she didn't respond to the QQ question? She may not know what it is? It's possible? or she may have heard about it but not having access to it? making her shy away from it. I'm speaking from experience as the few before and my lady now didn't know what it was.

I think it comes down to one word, "Assume". It's not a good thing to do. This word has a second definition. Stolen from an old TV show.

When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME.

Don't assume, find out the facts first.

[Carnegie]

Yes, Neil, that's exactly how I am at the moment.  Excited, nervous, a bit afraid I won't make it there since my reading of Chinese is a little bit, uh, off.

That was the bear I bought her for Christmas.  Hope I get to see it in person.

[odysseus007]

Yes, Neil, that's exactly how I am at the moment.  Excited, nervous, a bit afraid I won't make it there since my reading of Chinese is a little bit, uh, off.

That was the bear I bought her for Christmas.  Hope I get to see it in person.

Carnegie,
My take is, if this is the ONLY girl you write to, go fer it, you have invested too much to back out now. If you are writing a few, be brutally efficient to weed out the iffy ones, you will be spending far more on EMFs otherwise. Check out my thread "Today they started charging me...." - much good advice & strategies already debated there. I have been to China on & off about 10+ times, had a relationship with the most beautiful gal for years. It's an adventure. :icon_biggrin:

[ttwjr32]

keep us updated on your travels. were in china are you headed for?

[Carnegie]

Odysseus: Yes, she's the only one I write to.  So, if she's a fake, I take some solace in that I've only burnt the EMFs to one girl at one time.  So I have that going for me... which is nice.  I agree on your thread: I've lurked in here and read that one.  I had them do that to me, too: charge me prior to reading.  I've been hidden for sometime now and will likely stay that way if this goes pearshaped.

TT: I'm just heading to Wuzhou at the moment via GZ.  I'll land and hopefully find the right bus to get to WZ ASAP.  If she's a fake, then I'll just bomb around China seeing as much as I can in two weeks.  If she's real, I'll be there the whole time.  We've spoken about taking a trip together and she'd like to go to GZ.  It'd be wonderful to see that city with someone who reads Chinese... and is very beautiful.