007, I did it completely different and I felt bad doing it. They are all so lovely.
I made a list of what I wanted in a woman and stuck to it. I even had a check list with points and colors involved for not so good to best.
An example would be if she had a child? I don't mind kids but in some cases it can become a problem either in the father not allowing the child to leave or getting a visa and the extra amount for them. Also included was if the child was school age? Because I would have to give worry to what school they would go to, etc. So I made my choices this way. I'm not saying it's a better system just the way I did it?
I did something similar to what your doing. I didn't give them the no choice as you but I did place my email address in the first few EMF's. Long story short it didn't work anyway. That's when I gave it one more try and found my recent lady.
I would think doing this your way? Your not going to end up with the one you want but the one that made the cut? It doesn't mean it will work out. It's like buying an auto by color only? Sure the colors right, but does it run?
And Thank you.
Hi Vince,
Thanks for explaining your method. In fact from my (disastrous) first foray into the turbulent world of internet dating 10 years ago, I learned the need for a systematic method, a series of nets if you will, to filter the boatloads of women out there. That was without the added complexity of CHN's nefarious cohorts. I think you are absolutely right. Like an interview, it only narrows the field. Ultimately, I will avoid costly mistakes like some have experienced here, but also I might throw out the baby with the bathwater sometimes. Always the issue of false positives vs false negatives. We engineers & scientists tend to do things this way. I'll bet you're one like me too. But I have also learned to develop my holistic, left brain instincts. Once narrowed down to 2 or 3, this side will take over.
Today, I met a very interesting guy, who trusted his wife of 22 years, and in short she gambled away his millions that he worked so hard to earn from his business. In the end life is a gamble. I will not regret this seemingly brutal filtering, what happened to him was brutal. He told me, Larry, you made the smartest decision not to get married. Now he is a man who has many girlfriends, and enjoys his life.
I am a very skilled boardgames player, and it trains me to evaluate many factors at once. The right brain can only evaluate factors in isolation. The left brain calculates holistically. For example, if she's drop dead gorgeous, but smokes & is high maintainance, yet has no kids, and is willing to emigrate & give up her career. You have to see all factors together and compare to what else is available. The weightage you give to each factor will be different from me! For example I give high weightage to non-smoking spouse, you won't coz you yourself smoke. Kids are a minus for me, but not that bad as it is a backdoor way to get residence here in Singapore. The right choice for you may not be for me. I estimate at best the filter I use will determine 60% of suitability. Remaining 40% is all internal factors like, how much I like her? how well we get along, what sacrifices on whose part? our families, etc.
