Advice, please

[trwme]

Hi guys,

I'm getting ready to jump into the EMF pool. I just bought my first (4) credits. I had intended to use one to contact a lady who asked for my private email and who says she speaks good english, and use the rest on a woman I had sent a cupid to. However, this evening I received an admiration note from a lady who I had added to my favorites, and whose profile I bookmarked, as I liked it very much (plus she's REALLY cute too, lol). Her admiration note seemed less form letter, and more directed at me than the rest of the responses I have received so far. I like the spirit I feel from it. So I think I am going to switch and use my credits to write to her, rather than splitting them betwen the other two.

What I'd like to ask your advice on is a few main things, and please bear with me as I know some of this stuff is covered elsewhere here-I just want to get it in one place so I don't have to jump around looking for it as I write her to begin things.

First, I read where some of you include a note to the translator. What is your advice on what to say to this person, and should it come at the beginning of the EMF? I intend to send my private email addy to this girl. I'd like to know that she gets it, even if she does not wish to write privately right off the bat.

Second, what are things to avoid in the first EMF? By this I mean, what kind of things might a westerner say that she might find offensive? A little cultural insight here is what I am asking for.

Thanks in advance for supplying any insights you may share on this. It will be greatly appreciated.

Roy.

[odysseus007]

Hi guys,

I'm getting ready to jump into the EMF pool. I just bought my first (4) credits. I had intended to use one to contact a lady who asked for my private email and who says she speaks good english, and use the rest on a woman I had sent a cupid to. However, this evening I received an admiration note from a lady who I had added to my favorites, and whose profile I bookmarked, as I liked it very much (plus she's REALLY cute too, lol). Her admiration note seemed less form letter, and more directed at me than the rest of the responses I have received so far. I like the spirit I feel from it. So I think I am going to switch and use my credits to write to her, rather than splitting them betwen the other two.

What I'd like to ask your advice on is a few main things, and please bear with me as I know some of this stuff is covered elsewhere here-I just want to get it in one place so I don't have to jump around looking for it as I write her to begin things.

First, I read where some of you include a note to the translator. What is your advice on what to say to this person, and should it come at the beginning of the EMF? I intend to send my private email addy to this girl. I'd like to know that she gets it, even if she does not wish to write privately right off the bat.

Second, what are things to avoid in the first EMF? By this I mean, what kind of things might a westerner say that she might find offensive? A little cultural insight here is what I am asking for.

Thanks in advance for supplying any insights you may share on this. It will be greatly appreciated.

Roy.

So far they ALWAYS say they appreciate getting your addy, BUT they would like to EMF first til they get comfy. Who do you think is writing this??? I have my doubts... hey it's the last great commie state after all !

[Josh Markley]

Good Luck bro go after it.  I usually leave my notes to the translator at the end but I think that is just a matter of preference.  You can tell the translator anything you would like to relay to the girl you are contacting.  I used it to set up phone conversations through the service so she had a translator, set up web cam chats, and to get a girls personal e-mail.  I also used it to get addresses so I can send flowers and other gifts.  If you send your personal information at the beginning the girl your contacting may not receive it since this would cut down on that agencies EMF revenue.  

In my opinion a lot of the girls are there to learn more about western culture, that being said I would say stay away from anything any western girl would find offensive.  Some of the girls but not all are traditional girls, shy and conservative.  So I always start off a new friendship by introducing myself, and my interests and hobbies.  I would ask about things in her profile and ask questions.  I think the key to getting to know more about her are many questions about her and her culture.  

Hope this helps a bit.

[maxx]

Trwme What happened to the lady that you were writing to? The one where you didn't have to pay for EMf.Do you have kid in a candy store syndrome?( To many pretty things to choose from)

You know what the Chinese say.Man who chases to many rabbits.Ends up with no Rabbits at all.

[jeffm]

Maxx I agree with the rabbit analogy, but just because it is the first one doesn't mean it is the right one.  The feeling/chemistry need to be there and will only be discovered when two meet face to face.  I have chased a lot of rabbits and caught one last year that I thought was the one and got burned.  I won't be as nieve this time, and the new ones can easily be sweet talked into it like I was last summer.  Personally I like to use the old saying that Reagan used when asked about dealing with the soviets "Trust but verify" lol.

trwme - I put the note right on the letter.  I found it is good to get the translator to like you.  I always thank her for the work she is doing for the lady and myself and tell her she does very good work.  I then kindly ask her name, and sometimes I will ask where she went to school as her English is very good.  Get her on your side.  I have several friends all over China that are/were translators from the agencies.  I still keep in touch with them.  If they like you it makes it a little more difficult to scam you and will tell you if you are wasting your time with one of their phantom girls.  So I try to keep a side dialogue with  the translator in every letter plus it can increase your chances of her allowing you to go to qq or email a girl.  There can be other benefits as well.  She will have friends that she will want to introduce you to.  If you visit an agency you will see they are largely girls in their 20's and very sweet, so work that to your advantage.  Get them to like you.

[ttwjr32]

if your writing 1 lady why would you want the translator to introduce
you to her freinds? i think this will lead to you getting scammed by the
agency because they will think your not serious. believe what you may
but there is a good portion of chinese ladies who are suspect of western
men because of this. they think we are looking for a ***** or *** because
of hearsay from other ladies on what some have done. remember there is an
interest in western culture but we are certainly not thought of as their saviour
out of the country some are just as happy to stay there single if they have to
just my 2 cents worth on this.   i see and hear so much crap here i think i am
back in california again on a smaller scale

[trwme]

Trwme What happened to the lady that you were writing to? The one where you didn't have to pay for EMf.Do you have kid in a candy store syndrome?( To many pretty things to choose from)

You know what the Chinese say.Man who chases to many rabbits.Ends up with no Rabbits at all.

Hi Maxx,

Liang and I are still writing, although that has slowed down since last weekend. She says she is busy with the spring festival, and that her translator is on vacation during the festival. I've gotten two emails from her since saturday, whereas previously it had been one or two a day. This girl I mentioned writing to in my op is from the same city as Liang, Changsha; when I eventually make the trip to China to meet someone, I'd like to have two or maybe three to meet, just in case. From what I have read here so far, it seems like that may be a better strategy, since some of the guys have said once they got there the girl they went to meet avoided them, sometimes completely. I think I am going to concentrate on Changsha, so that IF the lady I go to meet doesn't work out, I don't have to run all over China trying to meet others.

As far as chasing rabbits, I am not necessarily chasing. I am laying very still and talking softly, in hopes the rabbits will gather around and perhaps one may take a liking to me :~) Liang and I are still getting to know about each other, and I have been upfront about some issues in my life she should know about before she invests her heart and emotions in me. I've also asked if she is writing any other men, a question which she has not answered, so I am assuming she probably is.

I am going to be very selective in who I write to. And I am not going to try to write to numerous ladies at once; right now my 6 year old daughter is living with me, I am going through a huge, expensive (and now getting very ugly) custody battle with her mom to keep it that way, so I don't have time to write 10 women at once, even if I was inclined to do so. Two or perhaps three is going to be my limit.

[jeffm]

if your writing 1 lady why would you want the translator to introduce
you to her freinds? i think this will lead to you getting scammed by the
agency because they will think your not serious. believe what you may
but there is a good portion of chinese ladies who are suspect of western
men because of this. they think we are looking for a ***** or *** because
of hearsay from other ladies on what some have done. remember there is an
interest in western culture but we are certainly not thought of as their saviour
out of the country some are just as happy to stay there single if they have to
just my 2 cents worth on this.   i see and hear so much crap here i think i am
back in california again on a smaller scale

ted you misunderstood.  i was making the assumption that he was moving on.  i am not an advocate for doing what you stated.  having said that ALL chinese ladies are lilly white.  my ex burnt me and didn't think anything about it, so i guess what i'm trying to say is trust but verify.

[trwme]

Ok, then tell me this; is it better to write to a lady who responded favorably to a cupid note? Is that a better gauge of who is really interested? Or does the agency monkey with that too?

I haven't contacted anyone but the one lady (the one I am talking to privately) so far, so I am waiting until I get enough input from my new friends here :~)

[ttwjr32]

Jeff i didnt mean thats what you were advising just that i was saying be careful becuase
they might pick up that you want to play and not be serious and then they will take advantage
of that and burn you. but yes meeting is important but after 6 months or so you pretty much
have made up each others mind if you have been talking on messenger and using web cam
for a few hours each day. thats what my wife and i did 2 hours my morning and 2 hours her
morning so when i went there we new what we wanted. but she spoke english so are talks
were i guess better than those who have women who dont speak english as we didnt have
any confusion when we chatted. im just not a big advocate of these emf only as the agencies
seem to take advantage of that. i believe they use the language as an excuse to get more money
from you. if you get together you must deal with it anyway so why not sooner than later. i have never
met a chinese lady who didnt speak very good english, but was interested in you,who didnt want to
communicate with you. i still think its the agencies fluff to make more money. and they are advising
her so who knows what they tell the lady to keep it this way.

[jeffm]

i misunderstood sorry ted

i agree with the rest you said.  web cam can bridge the gap for sure.

[trwme]

Do you have kid in a candy store syndrome?( To many pretty things to choose from)

Maxx, I progressed past the kid in the candy store stage the first day, right into 'drunken sailor during mardi gras at a bar where free drinks were being served', lol. In other words, I was extremely intoxicated. Unfortunately for me, I was born in the middle of the U.S.; I say unfortunate, because I have ALWAYS had a raging thing for asian women/looks. At age 50, I am finally acting on it. Here in middle america, there are few opportunites for it.

Luckily for me, my financial situation prevented me from buying a gazillion credits and trying to contact every woman at chnlove. I finally sobered up.

Thanks to some of the advice I got on this thread, what I've ended up doing was this. I sent one EMF to a lady who had given me a positive reply to a cupid note I sent her. Honestly, she is the one I have had my eye on all along. I don't plan to contact anyone else at this time. I'm awaiting her response to the EMF I sent her. Since their big holiday is on right now, I figure it may be a bit before I hear from her.

[ttwjr32]

Roy,

with the holiday now here in China you might see that the wait for a reply
might be 7 to 14 days depending on what the lady has going on. so i would
not get to discouraged if it takes a little while

Ted

[trwme]

Roy,

with the holiday now here in China you might see that the wait for a reply
might be 7 to 14 days depending on what the lady has going on. so i would
not get to discouraged if it takes a little while

Ted

Thanks for the heads up on that Ted. I'll try to relax a bit, lol. With what has been said here about the admiration emails, I decided the cupid reply might be a more legitimate contact. And besides, like I said, this is the one I've had my eye on the whole time above the rest. She's the one whose profile I kept going back to over and over. I even have her photo as the wallpaper on my desktop:blush:. So, I'll try to employ that old addage about good things coming to those who wait :~) In the meantime I'm going to get myself better situated to woo her.

[mustfocus]

You know, before you got in touch with her you had her picture as your wallpaper?  In some places, that'd be considered stalking. :icon_cheesygrin: