-
trwme,
I fail to see why you have to bring up your past at all!! ...Different if you haven't learnt life's lessons and consider yourself to be the same as you were then.... But i very much doubt that!!!
If you have a bad past, don't now let that past have any control or influence on your future. The past is exactly that...''it's in the past''.
So let the person you are now, shine through and let others judge you on the present and the future....
If later your wife/lady wants to know anything about your past, then tell them, but there's still no need to go into the fine details, what purpose would it serve?? ...Absolutely none at all. Stay in the present and plan for the future, life's lessons have been learned from the past, so there's no need to go revisiting!!!
David.......
Hi David, thanks for your advice, and it is something I've considered. And I realize the merits of what you are saying here. But now, I am going to show a different side of myself, and go all spiritual on ya ;~)
The past is what has shaped us to be what we are now. To me you can't understand who you are, or who someone else is, until you understand your/their past and how it's shaped them. I want someone who understands me. I want to understand them. You can't come to an intimacy of spirit without it, imho. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe the women in China look at this differently, and that's why I am putting this stuff out here to you guys, who know the lay of the land a lot better than I do over there in that culture.
There are certain things that a person should know, imho. For example, what about someone who has been married multiple times? Shouldn't you share that? Or should you act like they are the first one you ever fell for? As a hypothetical based on that, if you are going to ask someone to move thousands of miles away from the support system they have grown up in, to a place where they know no one and have no support system of friends and family, isn't it the honest thing to do to in giving them the relevant information, rather than telling them after the fact? Eventually they will find everything out anyway. Shouldn't they know those things before they come and are isolated by language and cultural barriers, and the thousands of miles between them and their family/friends support system? What do you think that would do to a person's emotions towards you, and the way they think about you, if after settling in to a life with you far from what they've ever known-and believe me, that's a HUGE adjustment-they find out you were keeping things from them they would have liked to have known about before making such a life altering decision?
I'm not going to give every little dirty detail. But I've had tons of women in my life-tons. I am sensitive to the fact that for some women, that may be a huge red flag they deserve to know before investing their hearts and emotions in me. If they know that up front, they won't feel betrayed when(if) they are here and someone lets the cat out of the bag. And that cat WILL come clawing out of the bag. I want to do the right thing from the beginning, so there is no mess to clean up later. I am not at this to serve myself, or just find something for myself. It's about them moreso than about me-because in the end, I will still be in the familiar place I've grown up in, with the friends I've aquired who know me.
Just something I am wrestling with right now, and since it's out there, I'll welcome everyone's input.
Oh but David, his past may be worth quite a bundle ! I heard Jim Cameron bought the rights and is planning to make a blockbuster called "The Past & The Spurious" :icon_cool: It's about a regular nice guy who takes on an alien persona and infiltrates a totally alien culture and give the women a helluva time. Who knows maybe Brangelina may even do a cameo.
lol...careful bro...that assassination squad has yer house staked out and are awaiting instructions on how to proceed....;~P
