Willy,
To be fair as I mentioned some of this was my own noobie knowledge of how chnlove works. Yes she contacted me with the first letter, however I did mark her as a "favorite" which I did not know until recently that when you do this the lady is notified. While I did not send here the first letter....I did in a way send a message that I was interested even if indirectly.
Yes, she does have a page on 51.com but I have read every part (that I can) and she does not keep it up. In fact most of the comments and content are about 1-2 years old, with the exception being lots of pictures....all of which I have downloaded. The page is not all that customized and after making my own profile there today..which was really freaking hard because Google translation does NOT work there I would say that she has maybe a couple days worth of work into it and most of that was uploading the tons of pictures. Which is really nice because now I can look at 5 times the amount of pictures that chnlove allows you to attach to a letter...and some of them pics are as plain as it gets to...well, lets just say I really like them. :blush: as any man with a pulse would.
As for the agency address. Here is what I did. I wrote a basic request to chnlove for a direct mailing address, phone number and contact name for the agency that handles my ladies account. Chnlove replied within 1 business day ( I made the request on Sunday afternoon) I then wrote a similar basic request to that agency for the name of the person who was doing the translations, along with a request for daily and hourly prices for a translator for when I make my trip there. I also asked about web-video conference for my lady and was told that it is offered. Not a problem....but the agency is located in Dongguan and my lady lives in Zhongshan about 98 miles away by Google maps from zip code to zip code. For a person without a car, this is what I would consider a long distance.
I do have her actual address...which oddly I was never charged for. Maybe because I did not request it until after we had exchanged letters for about 2 months. Now that I said that I am sure 2 credits will go missing? Anyway as I mentioned on my first post I did send here a gift late last month after the issue with her family came up about stopping our meeting. What made me suspicious was that after exchanging several letters she did not mention the gift....which was part of my grounds for thinking that something was not passing the smell test. That said, I did send her flowers for Valentines day and she did upload a couple pictures of them to her 51.com page and also never told me...I found them there about 2 months ago while trying to figure out how to create my own page....I gave up back then but got it this time. Trial and error, all that damn flash being used makes it impossible to translate!!!
Yes I know she has a cell phone, in fact I have lots of pics of her where she is in front of a mirror taking them with the cell phone. But honestly I have never asked for that number because she cant speak English at all....and I could maybe make an ass of myself saying something like "hello, my name is Lance" in Mandarin and that would be about a 30 second call. Besides that a phone call is not what I would call "verification" that I am really talking to her.....Could be anyone if this was a scam just like the letters.
I was assured that she can use QQ...which until I read about it here I was unaware of. On my main systems I have disabled ALL Instant Message systems and any other type of systems like it. I will install it on my laptop on a virtual drive so it runs in its own process without making any system modifications that could create any security issues....YES, I am a security freak!! But 6 years, not a single virus, trojan, remote exploit or system breaches. As a web based company security is what gives my clients peace of mind.
I just finished up another long letter to her and I mentioned that I had made a 51.com profile and that I will be installing QQ soon and I even found 2 computer cafes within walking distance to her apartment....and I even gave her the address. So, at this point I feel that I have given her every reasonable option to be able to communicate with me outside the agency....even if I can barely use the 51.com site yet, but at very least she can and now I will take a wait and see stance.
I do think the issue with her family was a major setback but is for real. So I am not going to push the matter because if this is for real, and I blow it by being a jerk about it than I have no one but myself to blame......and honestly gentleman, this young lady is beyond my expectations and I have spent my entire life searching for a lady like this. I can wait a little while longer so long as we can establish some lines of communication outside the agency for simple daily chats or picture sharing.
Based on many, MANY hours of reading here there is one common theme that I see and that is a lack of patience in dealing with problems as they arise. I am not saying that I have not made the same mistakes, but now that I have read many of them I will show some extended patience while still making sure that I am vigilant for those red flags. I did make it very clear that if any fraud takes place that I would take action and that I have a zero tolerance policy. Since regardless of the outcome with this lady I will still be traveling to China I am not above making a "personal" visit to the agency if fraud is proven in the end.....But for the time being I have been given enough support from them to feel that much of this can simply be chalked up to my lack of knowledge about just how much difference in culture and communication there really is.