As some of you know, I broke up with Nina a while ago. She became very distant before the Chinese New Year holiday and we only talked a few times in the following month. She told me once that I loved her too much. I understood that she leads a very busy life but I don't think she was really serious about getting married or coming to Canada or learning English.
I started looking for other Chinese ladies when I finished school in March. I tried a couple Chnlove ladies but my heart wasn't into it. I also met a sweet young lady on Chineselovelinks that speaks English and is a teacher in a high school. Her name is Liu and her English name is Brenda.
One week after I came home from school my Chinese teacher moved back to China. She is 28 and we had become very good friends. Her name is Yang Yang and she speaks English quite well. She is the most honest, kind and generous woman I've ever met. She told me today that she hoped to become my girlfriend since Nina and I had broke up, but I had already started talking to Brenda and even called her on the phone. Yang Yang told me that she would not ruin another woman's dream so she's not sure she will be my girlfriend now. I told her that her dreams are important too. All's fair in love and war.
Yang Yang has applied for another working Visa to come back to Canada. Her interview is next week. She told me: " am not sure now:) you should try to see many chinese girls, you knew only a few chinese girls, you don't know chinese girl's thinking
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And, to make this a bit more messed up, Nina messaged me a few weeks ago. She is going to visit her parents who she hasn't seen in 3 or 4 years. Her father is turning 70. She was sad and lonely and missing me. She wants to ask her parents for their opinion about us. They had given us their blessings long ago, but I have never met or talked to them.
I don't know if I could trust Nina again, but the times we spent together were the best times of my life. My Christmas trip was pure extacy.
I know there will come a time when I'll have to make a choice. I feel a little guilty but I'm falling for Brenda while I would drop everything for Yang Yang and I feel responsible for Nina - I have a lot invested in her (emotionally, not financially).
So, I guess what I'm asking is, should I feel guilty for playing the field? I feel guilty and one thing I hate doing is breaking hearts - someone's going to get hurt, usually it's me.