Author Topic: Love in China - second visit  (Read 2927 times)

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Offline Hans

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Love in China - second visit
« on: July 05, 2010, 07:50:20 am »
I'm back again from visiting my lady in Guangdong for the second time. We had 16 wonderful days and nights together. Home alone in my apartment again the emptiness feels massive. We won't meet again until December in Sweden.

Our plan was to get engaged in Foshan and have an engagement dinner together with my mother and her family. We cruised Guangzhou, Foshan and Kunming for engagement rings but could not find any we both liked. Here the cultural differences became apparent. I took for granted that it was basically the same tradition in China as in Sweden and so did she. We were both wrong. In Sweden, like in many Western countries I would guess, the engagement rings look alike. They're usually in red or white gold (I prefer both) and with no diamonds. The wedding ring is another matter. In China most rings had diamonds (I told my lady that as a man I simply can't wear a diamond ring!) and they looked rather cheap. So we'll wait and buy the rings in Sweden in December instead. Her parents were obviously disappointed, but my lady stood firm. 

Communicating in Chinese becomes easier and easier, it seems my Chinese studies pays off bit by bit. It
will take much more studies to be able to speak more fluent Chinese though. I was very happy my lady was in charge of ordering the food, otherwise the meals would have been rather dull after a week or so...

I've had some concerns about the physical part of the relationship since my lady is traditional and has said that she wants to wait with sex until after the wedding. This was hard for me to accept. I would finally have accepted it since I love her. Therefore going to China I did not expect anything at all. It turned out I was mistaken since she was ready to go already the first night. I was rather shocked (in a positive way). Where had this shy and traditional lady gone? Now I know what I first suspected: she wanted to make sure we were for real. Making arrangements to get engaged was obviously proof enough of my love for her.

Except all the rain and that my iPhone was stolen by a taxi driver (I left it in the back seat and when my lady called and begged him to return to the airport with my phone he said there was no phone in the car. After that my phone was quickly switched off) we had an amazing time.

Guangzhou feels like a rather chaotic city. The traffic is catastrophic, it's painful to watch ambulances being stuck for ages. The underground is both cheap and comfortable, like in Beijing and Shanghai, but the distances often makes is meaningsless to take te underground anyway. I liked Foshan and Kunming better, probably because of their size. Neither of them have an underground but it's not as time consuming to get around.

Looking for a Chinese woman is probably the best decision I've ever made. I've had doubts, fears and questioned the odds of success many times. Not any more. For the first time I feel 100 per cent sure she is the one for me. We'll have many practical issues to deal with in the future for sure, but I'm sure we can overcome them together. My Wenjun is empathetic, cute, funny, caring, and yet firm. She does not take any crap from restaurants or anyone else, which I like. I hope many, many other men will experience what I and many of you guys here have been fortunate to experience. Nothing else matters.

Hopefully: engagement in December, wedding in August next year (first in China, then in Sweden).

« Last Edit: July 05, 2010, 08:12:15 am by Hans »

Offline maxx

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2010, 09:58:17 am »
congratulations Hans.Your fiancee is very beautiful.You are a lucky man.

ttwjr32

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2010, 10:09:12 am »
looks as though things are going great congrats.  looks like the pics were taken at the garden hotel??

guangzhou has far greater good points for residing than most cities in china because of the transportation system

food and the people are really freindly not just curious to those of us that live there. of course it does have its pitfalls

but everything is there from all over the world which makes it quite a nice place to reside. of course 13.5 million people

does quite make it chaotic at times. only 3.5 million people behind Bejing in total population

Offline Martin

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2010, 12:43:13 pm »
Great reading Hans!  Congratulations, and best of luck, that you two will be together quickly.  She is quite a beautiful woman!

Offline Hans

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2010, 04:19:47 pm »
Thank you, guys. I am indeed a lucky man right now. I just hope my lady's visa process will go smoothly. The consulate in Guangzhou told us it was to early to apply since she is not travling to Sweden until December. But there doesn't seem to be any big hurdles. I expected to deal with the Chinese authorities but all they demand is a valid passport, which she already has.

Ted, the pics where taken at various places. The first one was taken in the Zhongshan park in Foshan, the second in the Shamian park in Guangzhou and the third in the Green Lake Park (翠湖公园) in Kunming where we had some Yunnan tea.

I know, Guangzhou is big and I have spent more time in Beijing than in Guangzhou. Maybe that is why I like Beijing better but I also believe that Beijing is a less chaotic city. It is easy to find ones way in Beijing thanks to locations like the Tian'anmen, the Beihai and various special buildings. And from my experience the traffic has not been as bad in Beijing as in Guangzhou (which I've heard has the highest traffic fatality rate in China).

Food is great in China no matter where you go, apparently. I've enjoyed the food every time I've been to China, which is five times now. In my experience you get the best food at the middle class restaurants where you pay 15-30 RMB for a meal. Spicy pork dishes, noodles, jiaozi, goose, Yunnan steam pot chicken (汽锅鸡), it's all good and cheap. The only thing I'm a bit reluctant to is the Chinese way of serving food with bones still attached. The shredded chicken with parts of the head among the rest of the food is not very tasty in my opinion. But after a few times maybe you don't notice it anymore...  ;)

Offline Irishman

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2010, 04:33:49 pm »
I've been to Beijing and Guangzhou, believe me Beijing driving is normal. GZ driving is bad but..but go to where Chong is..it is worse than GZ haha, i was there too.
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I wish you and your beautiful bride the best of times .
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Offline Neil

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2010, 04:50:00 pm »
I said it the first time I saw your pictures, and I'll say it again:  she has a beautiful smile and you two look great together.  I wish you every success together and thank you for sharing your story. 
...as irresistible as chocolate

Offline daghoi

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2010, 05:48:11 pm »

Congratulations Hans, you look like a happy couple. Wish you all the best.


Offline seagull

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2010, 07:03:00 pm »
I remember reading your posts about a year or so ago. It is nice to hear that you have been able to overcome all of the hurdles you had to go through to get to this point and that things have worked out. It has been a nice journey to read about it. Congratulations.

ttwjr32

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2010, 09:12:11 pm »
Hans,

your right the driving in Bejing seems to be more structured and normal than in Guangzhou but i have been in some smaller cities
that is like taking your life in your own hands. but right now i am enjoying Bejing it is hot here but not as humid as it is in Guangzhou
at least not right now as we are here. the food is a little pricey here and its ok i wouldnt really rave about it. i guess i miss all those
places to eat in guangzhou were you pay 49 rmb for ten dishes and everything is terrific

i also dont like the food with all the small bones in it just takes away from an enjoyable meal spitting it out all the time and a little
primitive to me to be eating and spitting  hahahaha

but we are all happy for you and we hope the rest of the journey is shorter and gets completed quick

Offline Hans

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2010, 03:35:10 am »
Yeah, Ted, maybe Guangzhou isn't worse after all. When I visited Zhanjiang (which is a small city compared to Guangzhou) in December my lady basically acted traffic guard for me. Why are they even borthering with traffic lights when nobody cares about them anyway? Surprisingly I only saw one wrecked motorbike during my last stay so things are "working" in some strange way...

About the climate: Guangzhou is indeed humid, I prefer the hot weather in Beijing but my body get accustomed to it after a week or so. However, a few days before I left the heavy raining stopped and we probably had 35-38 degrees C. Hot, not humid. It felt like the Beijing climate all of a sudden. I am a bit concerned about what my lady will think of the Swedish winter. I've told her that in northern Sweden it could be as cold as -30° C. To calm her I told her on my last visit that in Stockholm we usually do not have any colder than -10° C. Don't worry! Then she looked at me and said: "But I think 10-15° C (the winter temperature in southern China) is very cold!"  8)

Offline Chong

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2010, 04:37:44 am »
I am a bit concerned about what my lady will think of the Swedish winter. I've told her that in northern Sweden it could be as cold as -30° C. To calm her I told her on my last visit that in Stockholm we usually do not have any colder than -10° C. Don't worry! Then she looked at me and said: "But I think 10-15° C (the winter temperature in southern China) is very cold!"  8)

Hans ... Congrats.

Stock up on 'goose down' jackets and winter clothes in GZ before she comes over. You'll save $$$ compared to what it'[ll cost out West. Maybe show her some winter pictures so she won't be totally shocked ... and talk and tak about your great summers ... hahaha

Offline Jason B

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Re: Love in China - second visit
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2010, 04:47:11 am »
Hans, well done son, what a truly happy and romantic couple you both make.  Looking forward to hearing how the rest of the story goes.
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