It could be worse, you could have been staying at the Swan hotel in the early eighties like this guy was............
The Swan Hotel in Harbin, China is a true Chinese owned (by the government), Chinese operated and Chinese controlled hotel. They have many rules and none of them are to be ignored or bent in the slightest way. After my room assignment, I lugged my own bags to the elevator, surprised to find an elevator operator sitting inside the doors on a stool. This was my first example of the Chinese theory that everybody had to have a job. She pointed up with a question on her face. I looked at the array of buttons and realized we were on the bottom floor.
"We can only go up," I said. "Fourth floor, please." She replied something in Mandarin and pointed up a second time. This time I nodded and held up four fingers. She smiled and pushed the button. We were met by a scary looking Chinese lady dressed in a sweat suit with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it, only on her shirt it was "Miky Muse". Something must have gotten lost in the translation. Our interpreter appeared at her side.
"This girl is in charge of the floor. She will take you to your room. You are in 409. I am in 412," Charles, my government guide informed me."Just give me the key. I'm sure I can find the room," I answered. "You don't get a key here. She'll unlock the door for you. It locks automatically when the door shuts."
"So, every time I come back to my room, she has to open it?"........."Yes."
I found the inside of the room like no other hotel room I had ever experienced. The ceiling was at least twelve feet tall and the once white lace curtains over the window were a dark gray, torn and barely still hanging on the bent curtain rods. The carpet was wrinkled and covered with cigarette burns, some of them still sporting the remains of the cigarette butts. There were missing plates over the electrical plug and bare wires exposed. One wire was twisted around another and made its way to the TV sitting on the floor under a picture of a fruit bowl. Don't touch that baby, she's loaded with 220 volts, I reminded my self.
Sitting beside the TV was a large thermos bottle filled with boiling hot water. "Use it for tea and brushing your teeth," ordered Charles, and then he was gone. The door was shut by the Floor Lady and I found my self alone. Walking to the window, I scrapped off some ice and dirt in order to see what was outside. I wish I hadn't done that. It appeared the hotel had been built in the middle of a garbage dump.
I tried the bed, discovering the five inch thick cover. Did I mention the hotel had no heat and it was below freezing inside as well as outside? After some exertion, I was able to turn back the cover to find a bean filled pillow. I was hoping it was beans, anyway. Next, I went into the bathroom and attempted to turn on the light. Nothing happened. Great... the bulb had burned out.
Blocking the door open to avoid having to face Miky, I headed for room 412."Charles, go see the floor lady and get me a light bulb for the bathroom, please," I said, returning to my room to wait. A few minutes later, Charles was back, Miky in tow. "She says the hotel is out of light bulbs. They have been on order for three months," Charles informed me. "You're kidding me, right? They can't go to the store a buy a light bulb?"......."Guess not."
"Well, have her take a bulb from another room and replace mine." Charles let go with a barrage of Mandarin. Miky responded in kind. "She can't do that. That would make the room un-functional." "Yeah... well, my room is un-functional," I nearly yelled. He translated. "Yes, but she didn't cause it. She says it is okay to take the bulb back and forth from room to room, but don't drop it. Remember, they are out of bulbs."I was having a hard time believing this conversation. "Okay, then move me to another room. The bathroom is so dark I can't find the toilet." He translated. "Sorry... once a room is assigned, they can't change it. You will have to see the manager. He'll be in tomorrow."
I sat on the bed, put my face in my hands and pretended to cry. Actually, I almost didn't have to pretend. Miky left. Charles smiled. "Dinner is in an hour. We are having a welcome banquet at the Mayor's favorite restaurant. I'll knock you up." Obviously, he learned his English from a true Brit. So, for the next four days, the light bulb was moved back and forth as needed. I was very careful not to drop it.
This incident was typical of the frustrations one faced when trying to deal with the Chinese people. They were given a set of rules by their superiors, and they didn't deviate from them... no matter how illogical the situation was.
We don't know how lucky we are now!
