Chinese Gold Diggers

[Lain]

Ok, so I am a younger guy here...under 40, and lately I have been spending allot of time reading the China News Daily. Not too long ago I was reading an article about some popular dating show there that seems to have struck a nerve among the Chinese government and the older folks there over "Moral Values"

Here is the short story...A female contestant was asked something along the lines of....Which would you choose.

1) Crying in the backseat of a wealthy boyfriends BMW car in a loveless relationship
2) Smiling and being happy on the backseat of your poor boyfriends bike.

So she quickly sad that she would take the wealthy boyfriend as she would rather be in the BMW and his wealth was more important than happiness. As suspected many people decried the lack of any moral values of a women that only cares about wealth and the shows producers were actually taken to task for promotion of negative moral values in society....which I find very ironic as it seams that the government is heavily promoting this idea that wealth and consumerism is equal to the definition of success.

Ok, so now a few days later I was on a blog...sorry cant find it again, where the same subject was being discussed and they referred to a poll that was taken amongst a large group of young ladies under 30 and the results were shocking in that almost 65% of the ladies also felt that a man with money was more important than personal happiness.....OMG!!! 

Now here I am seeking a lady in roughly the same age group and I am forced to look at this information and consider the fact that I have a 50/50 chance that every lady I meet will fake. lie, or whatever just for a chance to have a "good life" handed to her....so what is a younger man like to think? If I wanted a pet..I would get a dog. The blog mentioned the one child policy as one major reason for this mentality and that since the parents only have one child they spoil it and it has lead to a massive amount of selfish young adults that only care about their desires and not much else.

Sadly my lady and I have had some serious "conversations" lately over her sometimes major lack of thought for her actions, and she openly admits that even her own friends call her selfish....and on my last visit she did demonstrate this reality by showing up 2 hours late to one of our dates and did not even have an explanation...other than she was sorry to be late, thats it!

So....whats a guy to do?

Oh, and given the rapid rate of divorce in China lately...does anyone know what the policy is about how marital assets are divided in China? I mean if I get married and live there, buy an apartment and say a car...does she get to lay claim to it like here in the US?.....I do not like to think such things, but the facts are what they are and it seams that in the younger ladies...Materialism Rules.

[Bee964]

Lain,

I would be a little cautious with a woman that shows up 2 hours late without an explination. The woman that I went to Singapore to meet wanted me to buy her an expensive gift after showing up 11 hours late for our date. I told her no! and that was it for us. I guess that I should say that she is 50 years old too. Even the older ones can be gold diggers.

Dave C

[Lain]

Lain,

I would be a little cautious with a woman that shows up 2 hours late without an explination. The woman that I went to Singapore to meet wanted me to buy her an expensive gift after showing up 11 hours late for our date. I told her no! and that was it for us. I guess that I should say that she is 50 years old too. Even the older ones can be gold diggers.

Dave C

To her credit, she is otherwise a very nice lady and she did have to travel from Xiaolan to my hotel by bus, which is about a 30 minute or so ride...but yes, I was to say the least a bit upset and while I did not say anything then..it was part of a conversation we had when she asked me why I kept asking so many questions about "being sincere" as I prepare to move there.....At least she admitted that she has a tendency to be selfish and otherwise she has NEVER asked for money or anything. In fact she was low on money once and had her internet connection disconnected, when I offered to send her some money to get it hooked back up so we could continue our chats...she refused to take my money.

Maybe she is just saving up for a big ticket item??..but seriously she does know my income and while its not that great here in the US ($3800 a month) thats a damn good living there at about 25,000 RMB a month...and that is only what I pay myself as I am self employed. I also fully fund my SOLO-401K and allow my company to pick up many "expenses" that make my income go that much further.

In your case....11 hours late!!! I would not even bothered to open the door as I would have been out on the town looking for a stiff drink and some lady who is at least honest why she wants paid...if ya get my meaning. Sorry to hear that, its all a risk it seams no matter where you go?

My experience on my last trip to China is the main reason why I have simply chosen to move there. My thoughts are that she cannot fake it when I am there and if she is a gold digger than it will show..at which point I will put myself back in the mix and move on to the next of my 22 ladies who I have bookmarked as "potentials"....one by one I will find a lady who is sincere in the year I plan on being there....I hope?

[maxx]

Lain according to my wife.About who gets what in a divorce.It all goes to the man.Now that is my wife's take on it.They have started to learn about the use of a good divorce lawyer.So have a independent translation of anything to do with a divorce.Or a business agreement.

I'm going to steal something I learned from Martin yesterday.While we were talking about a guy we know.Who is getting a divorce from a Chinese woman.If it does come to a divorce between you and the lady.Let her file for the divorce..When you receive the divorce papers.Roll them up and smoke it.Wipe the dirty dishes with it.Whatever you want to do.Just don't sign it.After I think it's ninety days.The divorce is legal in China.With out your signature.It is extremely easy to get a divorce in China.I'm going to repeat this.THIS ONLY WORKS IN CHINA.If the divorce is in your country.She is going to drag you threw the ringer.A couple of times.Just for her amusement

About the girl on the program.Yes that is a typical answer for a Chinese girl of that age bracket.20 to 30 who has never ben married.Who has never had a serious relationship.They have done nothing and seen nothing about life.And she thinks there is no tomorrow.So she thinks this is the way to go.


Think of the teenage prom queen in the states. who let her boyfriend knock her up.She is all excited to be a woman and pregnant.9 months done the rd she's sick all the time.she looks like a walking house.And her so called boyfriend.has ran off and is now sticking it to Mary Jane.from down the street.It is about this time.The prom Queen learns that there is a tomorrow.And life has slapped the living hell out of her.

It is the about the same thing with the one child princess.One day they wake up they realize there looks are starting to fade.There rich husband has a new younger girl friend.And for the last 10 years they have had a miserable life.With the beatings the cheating.The lieing.So they get a divorce in China and end up with maybe a little house.And a couple of kids.That thiere dad never bothers to take for a while.since the one child princess.Has to go to work now.

Just a side note 9 out of 10 times.The man will take the male child.Unless the man doesn't want to deal with it.It goes back to Chinese customs.That when the couple marry.The new wife goes to the mans family.If it is a girl Child.The mother will usually end up with it.The man and his new girlfriend can try for a boy.

Your date being 2 hours late.It was a test to see if she could get away with it.To assert that she has more face then you.If it was me I would of made her cry.And sent her on her way.For even trying to pull something like that on me.She would of Ben back in a couple of days.If she didn't have anybody else on the hook.If she did have somebody else on the hook.And didn't make it back.It wouldn't of Ben.A great lose.Come on this is China.A European walking down the road attracts.Beautiful girls.Like a bee to honey

Take Chong and Martin for example.Those 2 are so ugly that they have faces.Only there mothers could love.They both have met and Married beautiful Chinese ladies.Of course I had to pay Zhifang and Sunny's parents allot of money.And there was allot of crying and wailing.From there ladies.But I got the deal done

You shouldn't have any trouble at all meeting a quality lady in China.

[Paul Todd]

From my understanding of how marital assets are divided if you get divorced here is that you keep every thing that was yours before you where married but everything after that point is split between you.Generally the wife gets screwed in any Chinese divorce but you are a foreigner so..................................Take Maxx's advice!
If you are moving here then I'm sure you will have many ladies who would like to meet you,my friend.

[ttwjr32]

i agree with that comment, if living here you will find many women who would want to get to know you
first hand. that would eliminate many of the problems or doubts that occur with long distance. but go into it with
an open mind as yes there are many spoiled, princesses here which are a direct result from the 1 child policy. just
have to weed thru them.

but i think as Dave said age is not the guideline to use for that as they come in all shapes and sizes. you just have to
be careful.

my first was 46 but of course the signs were there i just had blinders on. so up until this one i questioned and asked everything
and if they went away i moved on. now im were i am at and things seem ok with just the regular culture problems that pop
up at times or the misunderstanding of words or thoughts that need to be dealt with differently. remember just because they speak
english doesnt mean they understand everything.

good luck with everything hope it all works out

[Lain]

All good advice brothers...You never like to think the worst, but it NEVER hurts to plan for it!!

While I have some serious concerns over my lady, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes once I am living there. Then we shall see. The sad part (for me) is that I would be fine with her being a gold digger if she admits it, and understands that as soon as I learn to live there and get a decent grasp of the language that I would seek a real women.....I figure that its a fair deal for say a couple years?

In all seriousness I really don't think I could, but she is really an incredible lady and I hope to god she is the real deal...but I have that itch in the back of my mind that will not go away.   

Lately I have been driving home the message that while I CAN give her a good life, she will not just be handed a free ride and that life is a two way street. She has shown some frustration with me as I have been asking her all sorts of questions about what she desires from a relationship and her future. To her credit again, she does not desire to move to America and is more than willing to take English classes. I feel bad sometimes about giving her the 3rd degree and a few times she has voiced her displeasure with me.

I usually get the response now that once I am there she will help me understand and open up some as I have a hard time getting her to tell me about her life......we will see I guess. Think I will take some more time to look into divorce situations. If I get married it will be there as I have almost no family here except my brother and his family so it makes little sense to come here and spend the money on travel. Besides if all goes well I will not be coming back to the states for any reasons that I can think of............just too many lovely ladies in China, and way too many fat, lazy good for nothing tramps in the states to waste my time with.

[Willy The Londoner]

You losme on the divorce piece Maxx.   my wifesist husband let her 14 years ago.  She never ageed to a divorce and never signed any papers.  That is until I came along.  She then asked husband number 1 for a divorce which he agreed.  and that enabled him to marry the women he had lived with for the past 14 years. 

As I see it both parties have to agree to a divorce before one can be granted if one hold out then a divorce cannot be given.

What that what you were saying as well.

Willy

[Martin]

In the case where a divorce has been filed, If the other party does not respond to the papers that were sent to him or her, the divorce will automatically be granted after 90 days.

[maxx]

Willy what Martin said.Is what I ment.Are information came from.A chinese lawyer.So we think it is reliable.

[ttwjr32]

going into a marriage and looking at the divorce proceedings is not a good thing.

[bugeye]

Lain

I do not wish to sound critical, but you sound as though you expect it to fail and are indeed making preparations for such. She is of course pushing the boundaries as any child will, until they find the hard boudary. From your descriptions, she sounds somewhat childlike.

In the end, I think you will get what you expect. We men often overlook compatability for beauty. Then when it fails, we struggle to figure out why or blame the lady totally.

Going by what you have said in some of your other threads, I do not believe that you will be happy with this lady in any long term scenario. There is someone there better suited to you and maybe you should not be so single minded over this one.

This is just my opinion, take it for what it is. I have no doubt you will press further before giving this one a miss.

[Irishman]

on my last visit she did demonstrate this reality by showing up 2 hours late to one of our dates and did not even have an explanation...other than she was sorry to be late, thats it!

Lain you seem like a smart guy to me but this sends up flags waving everywhere. She is very pretty looking at your avatar, you need to keep your brains in your head and not your pants.
My Sunny would never ever turn up two hours late without making sure i understood why in intricate detail (I'd get updates every few minutes on the mobile unless that wasn't possible) .
And don't you dare play the "we are so tight we dont need excuses" card...you are not there unless you are in Deludedville.

[ttwjr32]

also why wouldnt she open up now about her life?? you are talking about moving 8600 miles to
be with her. there are things you need to know and should be known now not later.
maybe this is because she is young? little immature were this is concerned

irishman---deludedville?? what is that

[ttwjr32]

funny Mike now i get it!!!