Author Topic: Keeping your LDR alive..  (Read 1635 times)

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Offline Irishman

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Keeping your LDR alive..
« on: July 30, 2010, 03:15:50 pm »
Long Distance Relationships (LDR) are tough as heck as many of the bro's know here.
Its Friday night, I'm sitting here home alone and missing my Lao Po badly. When she is here we will be doing something at this time, we'll be out with friends or snuggling up by the fire watching a DVD ..doing stuff that's loving and romantic and makes us feel good.

But here I am, i miss her like crazy so I thought  - lets make something good out of this! Here's a few things i do to try and make the relationship alive and pass the time apart faster. I would love if any of you guys can add to the list.

1) Send her a sms every night (sometimes i forget but she never complains, I know she likes them when i send them - she says the first thing she does when she wakes up is check her mobile for my morning message) so she has a message on her mobile every morning so when she wakes, this is cheap and easy to do - http://www.talk2china.com/english/ is a great way to send cheap texts to China
2) Write her emails - even though we webcam and chat on the phone when we cannot webcam. I am not a great letter writer, i don't do this enough, she told me once that she prints them out and reads them at night in bed..i really should do that more often.
3) Webcam, webcam, webcam! A picture speaks a thousand words, you can do silly dances, show her the back of your head and other weird stuff she likes on webcam - do it as often as possible!!
4) Phone calls - I work shift and that means we cannot webcam some days but i can call her on my lunch break, sometimes a phone is more intimate.
5) Surprise her - an email, flowers a gift when its not a special occasion is always nice. You can never go wrong with roses to show her your love.
6) Try to do stuff together if possible - one time i was on shift and because of the time difference she said she would call me as my alarm clock - that rocked! i woke up to my phone ringing and her name on the phone..what a great way to wake up - and hit a cold shower!

I miss my Sunny like crazy right now, any other ways you guys have to pass the time and show your love for your girls?
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

shaun

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2010, 03:54:18 pm »
Ronan,

Great idea.  I would like to expand on #6.

I called Peggy a few times because she missed our webcam time. I am talking like 30 minutes late.  Each time I woke her from a dead sleep.  I would feel bad and tell her to go back to sleep.  She would say, "no, I get up."  I'd hand up and a few minutes she was on the computer.   One day I asked her if it made her angry that I woke her up.  In America if you do that to a woman more than once you will get a tail chewing.  She said, "No, I like it."  She always tells me that I am her "safe keep."  I don't know it that is what she mean but I won't ask for clarification because I like the sound of being her "safe keep."  So I asked her if she would like for me to wake her every day.  To my surprise she said yes.  So I call her every day and generally wake her up.  It is a special time for us.  Sometimes she is up before I call but that is OK too.


Offline Jimmy

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2010, 10:48:27 pm »
My Li and I maybe we over did it I don't know.
But after the 1st month of doing all of these things.
We got to where we just never shut the web-cams off.
They would be running 24/7 just as if we were there with each other.
Jimmy Henson

Offline Rhonald

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2010, 11:44:40 pm »
Irish I know where you are coming from. All these methods I have also resorted to. They seem to work for some time. It is my Friday night now and this morning chat she told me that she will be unavailable for the next two days as she will be busy with her weekend job. It is our long weekend here in Canada so I will miss the chance to chat with her.

In previous times when I really missed her I would book another trip. I have done this 3 times now, but with the possibility of a visa interview, I need to put on hold this method as I might need to schedule my trip to attend the interview. So with the first trip to meet her, second trip to register or marriage, next 3 trips because I missed her makes the burden on my wallet just as brutal as my wait for our visa news.

It was just a little more then 3 months since my last visit, but it feels like a year has gone by. After previous trips 1 month passing would feel like 2 but this last time 1 month feels like 4. If this wait was akin to a marathon then I have hit the wall  :(  Only the putting of one thought in front of the other is all I can do. I try not to think of the finish line because what was once so tantalising close feels like but a dream.

If this be the Boston Marathon then I would be at heartbreak hill, my glycogen stores depleted, and mind games tricking me into second guessing my resolve. Maxx's 24 hour rule is much needed as I plod along spirit sunk waiting for my 2nd wind so I can finally climb that dam hill.


What keeps us going? I guess any trick that we can hold.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2010, 11:51:09 pm by Rhonald »
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Offline maxx

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2010, 12:09:25 am »
Irish take the suggestions.Your brothers have mentioned.And learn to suck it up and keep going forward.Like Rhonald mentioned.All those extra trips to China.Are real nice.But they can play hell with the wallet.If you make the extra trips.You put your self in a hole financially.And it can take years to dig yourself out.You don't want to start your new life together broke.

So get the hell out of your head.Stop over thinking this.And get the house and your life situated.For your lovely new bride.

Offline Irishman

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2010, 01:56:35 am »
Thanks guys, its nice to talk to people that know exactly what I'm going through.

Haha Maxx , I'm not moaning , I don;t need to get out of my head, its going wonderfully for me and I know it. I just want to try and make it even better, anyone got a time machine that can fast forward about six weeks ?  :o ;D
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

ttwjr32

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2010, 01:32:57 pm »
just looking for some new fresh ideas others have done   dont mind the Maxxer as his wife is with him
in new mex 

just keeo thinking right around the corner

Arnold

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2010, 05:29:38 pm »
Irish , start working on your Promise Letter .. that will keep you busy for some days or weeks . This would be really a big bonus and lot's of Kudo's for you at the wedding . Sunny knows what they are , she just don't want to put all this extra burden on you .

Offline Axiom

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2010, 11:05:10 am »
Soooo.

For those of us that DON'T know, what is a promise letter? I'd ask Ting but it would be cooler to suprise her.

I am guessing a list of promises you make for her?

ttwjr32

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Re: Keeping your LDR alive..
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2010, 11:18:07 am »
you got it something she could hold you to!!