hand in hand P368

[Danny]

I think another proof that Hand in Hand is a reliable agency is that I am almost always dissatisfied about the number of letters I receive from my woman. I often have to wait a week for a reply to my letters to my woman. This makes me incredibly grumpy and I would actually prefer that the agency just made one up for me. But instead I only get them when my woman has the time to spare. It reflects poorly on me, but well on the agency I think.

[Spruik]

I complained of getting too many... not waiting for my next letter... same day responses... follow ups the next day...

But one was all about darling this and darling that... got sick of it... now everyone is on the block list.

[Danny]

I am wondering at the moment whether this is an unreliable agency after all. The woman I thought was someone near and dear to me has sent an "admirer mail" to another member of our brotherhood here (James). I am not sure whether the agency has done this on purpose, or whether it was only a mistake, or whether my woman had asked for the admirer mails to be sent out. Stay tuned. All I can say at this point in time, is be very cautious about using this agency.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Danny depending on the contract , admirers and cupid answers are nearly always sent out by the agencies with no knowledge of the women , how else can they generate income .
 Also depending on the contract the agencies may have the power to update / refresh profiles and use for up to 2 years .

[Scottish_Rob]

That must be why my Keren has told me about her not refreshing her profile, that it is the agency that does it, she does not reply to any cupid's etc..She has told me that it would go against her agency contract, so she has to let them refresh it:huh::huh:

[Vince G]

Once you are outside the agency in communication they have no idea what's going on so they will refresh and send Admire letters to get something going. They see a dormant profile. Whether the woman knows of this? Is anybodies guess.

[Frans B]

Interesting reading this about all you guys being up in arms about the ladies writing with more than you alone.
I know a lady through doing internet dating research, at the time I came in contact with her a year and half ago she was already serious with a guy in the UK with wedding end 2009; she will retire after wedding and move to UK. Now don’t fall off your chairs. Presently she is still holding eight ( guys on the line. Furthermore if you care to delve into what the agencies advice you will learn their advice is to write with a minimum of five (5).
The attitude of most ladies is: until married to a guy I’m still my own boss, the guy is not putting the rice in my bowl - or as the saying in the west goes, “bread on the plank”.
Yes, capitalist colonialism enslaving the people is making its comeback, but the ladies are not going along with it when it comes to their own personal body, even there they work for slave labor wages.
In my research about this internet dating and having anthropologist acquaintances who speak the ladies’ mother tongue the ladies talk more easily because they know there is no marriage involved.
I have not come across one guy who mentions that he went through the engagement rig moral (party) - Asians are great for parties – to commit themselves to marriage by presenting the diamond engagement ring and slip it on the lady of their choice’s finger. The Asian female may not be as compliant as most western males’ unprepared for Asia minds think they are.
Looking forward to see the first one announcing his engagement.
Even the lady mentioned above after a year-and-half has not been presented with an engagement ring, that is she says she feels her mind is at ease with keeping the 8-guys on the line.
Asia old-timer.
DrFransBRoosPHD

[Vince G]

In your case it's a little different. What I stated was a generalization. There are some exceptions like yours. The only thing I can think of for why? Is there might be some men putting her in their favorites and the agency sends the admire without care of if there is a relationship already?

Come to think of it they should have a currently unavailable/taken, something so guys know not to waste their time and money. Even though this is the way they do things on the sly.

[Danny]

Dr Roos, thank you for your always fascinating comments and anecdotes.

I am not up in arms at all.

There is a time when there is nothing wrong with writing to more than one woman/man, and there is another time in which it is wrong to be writing to more than one woman/man. There are grey areas, when it's not easy to tell what is the right thing. But it is possible to define such situations in which most people, Asian and Western, would agree that it's not right to be writing to more than one woman/man.

I have nothing but best wishes for my dear woman. If she wishes to write to eight men, that's fine with me. I hope for her happiness. I think the world of her, and if I really thought she would be happier with someone else than me, then I would understand.  

However if she was inviting new people to write to her, at the same time as she is telling me that she loves and cares about me, when we are planning our future together, then that changes things for me. It might be a clever thing for her to do, but it would certainly change my opinion of her.

I don't think that the attitudes you suggest are held by "the Asian female" are typical of the kind of women I have met through chnlove. Nor are the attitudes you suggest, held by the Western men here, for example, the hope for a compliant woman.

All in all I have been impressed by the high ethical standards of the women I have written to.

I would be disappointed if the women and men here played the game in the way you suggest. I may be wrong, but I doubt it *smiles*

Danny

[Vince G]

Furthermore if you care to delve into what the agencies advice you will learn their advice is to write with a minimum of five (5).

I have seen no evidence of this in any way, in written (as in the contract) or have read anywhere in any forum or by the women themselves. If this is your delve opinion it should have been stated more appropriate.

[Greg]

I am currently communicating with a lady from this agency.  So far her return letters have answered any questions I have asked her.  I have not found any suspicion with this agency YET!  I will let you know if I find anything.

Cheers!

[Agarn]

I dont know how many agencies are conected with chnlove, but 25% of my admirer mails come from this one agency 368, an unusuly high % dont you think, they certainly like to try and generate the cash

[Danny]

I am currently communicating with a lady from this agency.  So far her return letters have answered any questions I have asked her.  I have not found any suspicion with this agency YET!  I will let you know if I find anything.

Cheers!

There is no reason to think your relationship won't work out just fine, even if every allegation made about this agency is proven true. I imagine that there are just a lot of unpleasant business practices, but I don't think that it is entirely corrupt. The fact of that matter is that my relationship with my woman might have worked out and the fact that it didn't, didn't have anything to do with the agency.

In my case I am unhappy that they are using her as bait, sending out admirer mails on her behalf, when at the same time they are assuring me that they are hoping that our relationship works out.

Of course my good woman might have requested that the admirer mails be sent out on her behalf, but I doubt it. She seemed like a pretty honest and ethical person to me when I visited her in January 2009. I doubt she's changed so much in the intervening months. .

I've made a complaint to chnlove customer service, and who is to know how this will turn out. I know some brothers have a very low opinion of chnlove customer service, but in my experience take these matters pretty seriously.

I've already had chnlove catch out one agency (Aristocrat Garden Matchmaking in Bejing, Agency ID: P566) that had been writing to me on behalf of another woman (ie writing all of her replies), so I'm pretty confident about the way they investigate these things.  

I'll report back here when I receive a reply.

[Danny]

I rang up and spoke to my woman on the telephone. She told me that the agency just sent it out without her knowledge and I believe her.

We had a good conversation and I am going to start ringing her on the telephone every day. It's so lovely hearing her voice. I had avoided ringing her because I am so ashamed of my poor Chinese. In future, I am going to persist with the phone calls. There's a saying that a brave man dies but once, a coward many times. If she dumps me because of my poor Chinese, then that's how it's going to happen and I'll deal with it when it happens. If I don't stay in touch regularly, the relationship is going to die anyway.

[Vince G]

Danny seems like the shoe is on the other foot?  Your afraid to call because of your poor chinese. We hear this allot from the woman not wanting to talk on the phone for fear of her bad english? Just wanted to point this out for the others that take this as a bad sign? when you look at it from the other side? it makes sense doesn't it?

But go for it? You don't know how good or bad it will be until you do it.