To Ms/Mr..Dragonladies.org
First...it would be nice if you told us a bit about youyrself in your profile...bit anonymous so far...yes??
Second, James has explained about the situation vis-a-vis his lady....she does not seem at all like a freeloader to me.
Divorce in China is very cheap...if both parties agree to it, but in James situation, his Lady's ex does not want to divorce...so it gets just as expensive and complex as it is for us "Westerners"
I personally got to the point of despair over my Ming's refusal to accept gifts and/or financial assistance, she works all hours God sends for a pittance and I wanted her to ease off and let me take over some of her finances...no show, she wouldnt have it until we were actually married. So I conclude that this reluctance to appear dependant is an honest effort to show that most of these Ladies are trying to find a future husband, not a Bank Account.
Yes, I know there are bad apples out there...been there, done that, but if all we ever do is turn over rocks looking for scorpions, then I guess we will find them, but we will miss a lot of butterflies by not looking in nicer places.
In any event, its all a risk management process and so far I dont see many red-flags for James, especially considering that he has met and has been endorsed by the family...seems a massive conspiracy if ALL of them are involved !!!!
So if James now changes into a suspicious, furtive and cynical "prospector", then I feel he will lose something good.
Sometimes we just gotta go with the flow and read the signals....they are not all dragons out there as many of us have discovered.
Keep going James.........stay positive.
Cheers...DavidE
