You know you are in China when....

[David5o]

Ronan,

You forget, i know exactly what trained Chinese ladies, (or man) are capable of, ...i lived amongst them for too many years not to know!!  I am also a martial artist myself of some 18 years, although long since lapsed.

That's not what i was pointing out, .....i was pointing out that you would never see a woman Chinese soldier in a pair of fashion high heeled boots, when they are in uniform!!
hence '' pull the other leg, ....it's got bells on''!!!  The woman was in all probability, a model, just like the spotless army viechle in the photo shoots!!!

David......

[Paul Todd]

Wenzhou Realtyr Investment Holdings Limited, Adult toy catalog. I came across this by accident, honest!:angel:

"The shaky only series"
 Vibrator (ABW-1025
100% night, single you can with your man assistants, have never had experience of the pleasure.
 Vibrator (ABW-1008)
Virtual skin, soft and high ridges on the penis is clearly visible, to redouble their sensitive parts of.

"The sucktion series"
 Sucktion (ABW-3069)
A strong willpower so that he always survive no matter you how to play, always in there, look sexy, deadly.
 Sucktion (ABW-3062)
It is like the artist and his works in the folder with a wild bohemian, spiral vibration feeling its head.

"For woman vibrators"
 Woman Vibrator (ABW-2056)
Adjustable rotation, vibration rabbit head, in full accordance with the system of sensitive parts of.
Woman Vibrator (ABW-2009)
With the addition of Mr. Passion so that you can no longer be restrained, he will give you hot encounter.
 Woman Vibrator (ABW-2053)
1.The twizzler probe.
2.Vibrating, reversible gyrating, light; wonderful surface.

"From the vagina series"
 Vagina (ABM-1002)
If you need to experience the Cleopatra style, indulgent taste and experience the beauty, let her with you.
Vagina (ABM-1001)
Although she engaged in a man obsessed with the world's most professional, comprehensive engagement you.

Errrr run that by me again! "Although she engaged in a man obsessed with the world's most professional, comprehensive engagement you" At least with "It is like the artist and his works in the folder with a wild bohemian, spiral vibration feeling its head" you know where you stand.:-/

[rockycoon]

No wonder the divorce rate is so high in China....:icon_cheesygrin: guess a lot of people walk and wank on the beach there....lol

[Willy The Londoner]

I know I am not in China when I wake up around 3.30 every morning!!  Just two days to go and I will be on my way back.    Five days seems like five months!!!!  


Willy

[rockycoon]

Thought you liked it there Willy,, what's the matter run out of lonely widows or viagra or both.....perhaps it was the bagpipe playing at 3;00 am in the morning...:icon_cheesygrin:

[Willy The Londoner]

I am more than happy in China.   My singers have an engagement in UK on Saturday so i flew back to be there and I am flying back the following day.  4 days travelling to spend three days here - perfect.   I will be back with my Angel by Monday and will not have to come back until May when they start a tour.

  Note I am a changed man - went cold turkey off the Viagra (that was hard going - or should that be the other way round?) and also off the divorcee and widow women.

Willy

[Paul Todd]

You get invited to go skiing for the weekend! :huh:

[Paul Todd]

Apparently skiing has become increasingly popular with Chinese people over the last few years. So get those ski's on Jim and here's a directory of the best ski resorts in China . :icon_cool:

1. Alshan Alpine Skiing Resort
Notes: Resort surrounded by forests
Location: On the border of Inner Mongolia (Province) in China and Mongolia itself
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1
Skiing Market: Beginners to advanced
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Ulanhot, 3-4 hours by bus/train to resort

2. Beijing Huaibei Ski Resort
Notes: Largest ski resort accessible from Beijing
Location: 70km outside of Beijing
Season: Dec 1 through Mar 1
Lifts: 4
Trails: 6
Skiing Market: Beginners to Advanced
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: About 1 hour by car from Beijing to the resort

3. Beijing Nanshan International Ski Slope & Resort
Notes: Purports to have the first international standard half-pipe in China, China's first advanced mogul trail as well as the first snow football field
Location: 80km outside of Beijing
Season: Dec 15 through Mar 15
Highest Mountain: 600m
Snowboards: Yes
Accommodation: Yes, on site ski-in and out
Skiing Market: Beginners - Advanced
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: About 1.5 hours by car from Beijing to the resort

4. Changchun Beidahu Ski Resort
Notes: Purports to have the first professional ski slopes in China with international standards
Location: Jilin Province
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 1400m
Lifts: 6
Trails: 6
Platforms: 4
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Skiing Market: Suitable for all
Cost: Skiing from US$30/day
Getting There: From Beijing flight to Jilin, then travel by car 1.5 hours from Jilin  

5. Erlongshan Longzhu Ski Resort
Location: Near Harbin
Season: Dec 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 266m
Lifts: 1
Trails: 8
Skiing Market: Beginners
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Harbin (2 hours), 1 hour by bus/taxi to resort

6. Jilin Changbeishan Ski Resort
Notes: Located in Changbeihan Nature Reserve
Location: Jilin Province
Season: Nov 1 through May 1
Highest Mountain: 1820m
Lifts: 1
Trails: 4
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Skiing Market: Suitable for all
Cost: Skiing from US$30/day + US$5 entry to reserve area
Getting There: From Beijing by air to Yanji airport

7. Ping Tian Resort
Notes: Phase I slated to open November 2009 boasting "China's first world class, luxury ski resort" in Xinjiang provinces Tianshan mountain range.
One hour outside Urumqi, Xinjiang
Slope: 2 detachable lifts, 75 ha (185 acres) of skiable terrain, and close to 2,000 vertical feet
Opening hours: TBD
Cost: TBD  

8. Qiaobo Ski and Snow World
Notes: Named for Ye Qiaobo, a medal-winning Winter Olympian
Location: 6 Shun¡¯an Road, Beijing
Slopes: 2, 200m beginner and 300m advanced
Cost: Mon-Fri 180rmb (US$22), Sat-Sun 230rmb (US$28) for two hours

9. Wanlong Ski Resort
Location: Hebei Province, four hours from Beijing.
Season: Nov 1 through Apr 1 (high elevation allows for a long season)
Lifts: 4
Trails: 5
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Accommodation: new 3-star ski-in hotel
Cost: Skiing from US$50/day
Getting There: 4-hour car or bus from Beijing.  

10. Yabuli Ski Resort
Notes: China's largest ski resort
Location: Heilongjiang Province
Season: Dec 1 through Apr 1
Highest Mountain: 1375m
Lifts:1  more opening for the 09 season
Annual Snowfall: 300 inches (but expect man-made snow)
Snowboards: Yes
Ski Instruction: Yes
Accommodation: 10 hotels and hostels, e.g. Windmill hotel and villas, Qingyun Villa, Dianli Villa, Jiaotong Villa.
Cost: Skiing from US$55/day
Getting There: From Beijing to Harbin by air (1.5 hours), train to Yabuli (2.5 hours), bus to resort (30 min)

[Willy The Londoner]

Now I know why my proposal for a Ski school failed in Zhuhai.   The place would have fallen down before the snow arrived!!!!

Before I go just a note about  a taxi ride.

If you have never been to China before and your of a nervous disposition then do not, I REPEAT DO NOT take the front seat - or at least do not sit there with your eyes open.

Came back from the outskirts of Zhongshan yesterday.  Travelling along a freeway at about 70 or 80 like one of those video cars on Auto theft 2.  

Lots of squealing brakes and an equal amount of tyre marks in my pants as I was thinking that I should have really taken a motorised rickshaw.  But worse was to come.  Turned right off the freeway and I really mean turned right, not gently sloped off the off ramp to the right but turned right facing down the ON RAMP.  Ahead of us about half a mile away you could see the traffic held up by traffic lights.  My driver floored the accelerator and flying down this one way slip road against the normal flow of traffic at speeds in excess of 70 he was looking to reach the bottom before the two lanes of traffic started moving in front of us.

Before we was threee quarters of the way down the traffic started to move towards us.  I closed and opened  my eyes cos I was dreaming!! - well I wish that I had been dreaming - cars acellerating in two lanes and us going down the middle.  Us the meat in a sandwich and we were going to be eaten up at any moment by some idiot travelling the correct way but trying to overtake overs.  Apart from praying all I could say in English was 'Are we in a hurry or what'.  Then suddenly it was over.
We reached the intersection and turned left and we were saved.  WE WERE SAVED. Was it the drivers skillful knowledge, his daring heroic drive to save a few miles of fuel that brought me through to safety.  I don't know  - but I would like to believe that it was the prayer I was sayings as MY nails were digging deep into my hands whle at teh same time I assesed the foolishness of not putting on my seat belt against  stepping into the front seat in the first place.

Well at least they do not expect any tip.

Willy

[rockycoon]

Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos... or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha

[shaun]

Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos... or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha

Don,

You need to ask?

hop hop hop hop hop hop pretty girl hop hop hop hop hop hop

Shaun

[rockycoon]

Willy, don't know if you have watched the latest news lately, but don't you wish you were tiger woods with 10 (and counting) girlfriends,
or gold diggers that he's been cavorting with, and his foxy model wife knows about it, and he's got 2 kids to boot!  Guess it helps if your famous and have a billion dollars....
By the way, what sing group are you representing?  Kinks, the Who, Rolling Stones? or the go-go girls...lol

So your a producer, do you have a "casting couch?"  LOL

Shaun, we have found out his secret....by the way, that taxi ride discription is excellent, I've had some wild ones myself, but never quite like that.  I think my worst was in TJ mexico, where they take 4 door stolen cars (from USA) and paint them yellow, remove all the springs  from the back seat (and in some cases the headliner) and proceed to hit every bump (as big as VW's) they can find and have cross hairs on the hood in order to zero in on pedestrians.  I think the idea is to see how many times they can hit your head on the cealing and they probably keep a running score somewhere at the cab station.  They also like to drive flat out in the city streets (around 80 mph) from stoplight to the end of the ride, they don't stop for red lights.  LOL.

I have experanced those "skid marks" on several occasions, and the driver had to clean the seat covers after I got out.  Perhaps I'll start a thread on "the worst taxi ride ever" or "how close I've come to death and lived" ... LOL

That's got to be an extream sport...kind of like triple XXX.

[Willy The Londoner]

Willy, What grade of skier are you beginner, medium, or gung ho down hill proffesional and damn the torpedos... or do you stay on the bunny slope with the bunnies....ha

I'll let you know the grade when it next snows in Southern China Iam told that there has been no snow here for few hundred years but I'm willing to hang on for the  next time.

Willy

[shaun]

If it snows I would not ride.  I would have to stay home.

[rockycoon]

*Idea*    
wait untill it snows, take rope and tie to rear bumper of taxi, put on ski's, tie rope around waist, wait for first taxi fare, enjoy....LOL